Saturday, November 28, 2009

Seriously. No one messes with Nad.

No one.

She obviously think that she can just get away with it. Oh trust me. I may be leaving on Tuesday, but that doesn't mean that hell can't break lose.

She will realise what a selfish, self-centred bitch she is by the time i'm done.

I am the wrong girl to piss off continuously.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

EXAMS ARE ENDING!

Tomorrow's my last paper!

Professional English! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

Grammatical errors are gonna make me fail! lol

Monday, November 23, 2009

LESSONS

Its odd really, how one of my most valuable life lessons was learnt when I was lying in bed, witnessing the world spin twice its normal speed and shivering under 2 blankets trying to keep warm on a weekend.

But I would say, nothing is impossible...

Have you ever had flashbacks when you were sick? Either while you were sleeping or when you're awake but you're so dazed that you're more unconscious than conscious?

ya that. I always remember things when I'm sick. Maybe coz only then will my guard be down. Most of them memories that I've kept locked away you know. Maybe some of these memories gives me the strength i need to recover and some just keep me happy while i go through them like an old movie while i'm sick and unable to do anything else anyway.

And these are the things that kept me sane through one of my most upsetting weekends ever.

Why upsetting? Well, it was then that I told myself never to be so sick again that I would need someone's help ever again.

People. People are just sometimes unreliable. Selfish. and mostly they think that the world revolves around them.

And pple ask me why do i find it hard to trust someone. Well its because of that.

For me, friends are not to be taken for granted. That I learnt when I was 11. Friends are those who will stay. Acquaintances are those who stay just because you have the influence, money, brains and desert you when everything goes wrong.

Its funny how A would constantly ask me why I would do almost anything for B. Why is it if I were to ask to choose between A and B. I would definitely choose B.

That's coz, B is someone whom I have grown to trust over the years. Who knows me so well that he doesn't really have to ask much to know what's wrong. B is surprisingly one of the 4 people that i have ever broke down in front of in my entire life. When I mean broke down, like literally grow limp and cry. B have always been there by my side, taking my side or not agreeing with me but still take my side but scold me later on. B is 1 out of 3 person that I could say anything I want, filtered or unfiltered. B checks on me constantly when B knows i'm sick even though there is nothing else B could do. B calls or messages when B realises that its been that long since we last spoke or meet up. B may not be the easiest person to understand but B genuinely cares in B's own way even though he may show it differently.

Unlike A who have countlessly shown over the period of these recent 6 months that she just needs me to be there for her through her problems, sleepless nights, loneliness, adapting, needing to adjust to be independent and have proven to be unable to help when i finally need help, i.e. saturday when i needed to go to the doctor, coz surprise, she was SUDDENLY busy on the day and time agreed upon the previous day.

So does A really wanna know why I would choose B over her? I doubt it.

Coz unlike A, I know how to value my friends. There's 4 people in my life that I would trust my life with and B is one of those people. Beside my mom and these people, B is one of the people who I would stake my life for.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

NO CHANGE

didn't think it was worth it. So i'll be arriving as initially planned.

-----------------------------------------------

I hate it how pple always say i'm rich just coz i'm an international student and how i dont have to work hard and not to have a care in the world and i will still receive a monthly allowance.

Truthfully, I feel insulted. Totally insulted.

While I understand where you're coming from, at the same time don't judge me coz i've never judge you alrite. You don't know my current circumstances then don't just give me some flippant remarks just coz you think you know better.

well, if you are persistent that my mom is rich. Then, *shrugs* AMEN. Hopefully, one day she will be.

I would just say that my mom is blessed.

And I am blessed to have her. A single mom singlehandedly supporting both her family back home and me here in Australia.

So yes.

God, thank you. *smiles*

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

PERSONAL BANKER

My mom has been gleeful eversince she got her new personal banker.

why?
she thinks that he is good looking and a really nice boy.

why is she telling me this?
She can't wait to introduce me to him once i'm back in Singapore.

She say.. Meet one of your criterias already!

Me: What criteria?

Her: He chinese lor!

Me: I DO NOT SPECIFICALLY LOOK FOR CHINESE!

Her: Yeah rite. Anyways, I think he's good looking and he's really nice.

Me: *thinks to self* of course nice la.. my mother his client wat.

Her: If you see him confirm you drool down there. I asked him how old he is yesterday. He say 26. Not bad rite?

Me: -.-"

I seriously dunno what's up lor. And what's wrong with being attracted to Chinese man? I think ok wat. I like their traditional cultures and find me a malay man who would be able to accept me the way someone of a different race could. ha. not easy rite?

Truthfully, if my mom didn't marry my dad. I would definitely already be a Nadira Lim Li Mei or something instead of being the mix that i am now lor! That, I know for a fact. HMPH!

So the women in the maternal side of the family prefers our fairer skinned counterparts. Except for my grandmother. That one in denial. Forever have some remarks, genuine or sarcastic. Sometimes she forget lor, her own father was chinese. bleargh! -.-"

Friday, November 13, 2009

List of Theatre Productions

  1. Beauty & the Beast : 25 Nov - 19 Dec 2009

  2. Bedrooms - I would wanna catch the Baba Malay Version if I can be back in time: 25 - 29 Nov 2009 Malay

    1 - 6 Dec 2009 English


  3. The Jungle Book: 5 Nov - 13 Dec 2009

  4. Maksim Concert Classique (fine, i know that's not a theatre production, but its Maksim! He's like.. PIANO GOD! *drools*) : 18-19 Nov 2009 OK. NVM I JUST REALISED I WONT BE HOME FOR IT

  5. Menopause The Musical (ITS BACK!!!!): 26-29 Nov 2009

  6. Cat, Lost & Found: 3-5 Dec 2009

  7. Swan Lake: 17-20 Dec 2009

  8. Narnia - The Musical: 20-21 Dec 2009

  9. Chestnuts Does Christmas - Like a Hard Candy Virgin: 28-30 Dec 2009

  10. GREEN DAY CONCERT ON 14 JAN 2010~
THAT'S ALL FOLKS~!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

ANNOYED.

I'm as annoyed as annoyed i can get. So, I need to rant.

I currently have ZERO TOLERANCE for the male species that I've categorized as my acquaintances only.

Seriously, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?

goddammit.

WHICH PART OF I HAVE LOTS TO DO BEFORE THE EXAMS IS SO FUCKING DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND? WHICH PART OF DON'T BOTHER ME TILL FURTHER NOTICE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

Is it my problem that your interests in me seems to be alittle more than the average human being?

So stop being so bloody sensitive when I snap/spit/bite/breathes fire when you so much as say Hi and ask me stupid questions online. Find me another girl who would remotely be in a happy mood to see you online and entertain your stupid questions despite the lack of sleep and having the same life changing exams to sit for; then I will reconsider my attitude towards you.

One thing, the normal male species doesn't seem to understand. I AM NOT LIKE YOUR TYPICAL GIRL THAT YOU MEET EVERY OTHER DAY.

Get used to it.

Cb.
SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

There's tons of things constantly reeling in my mind.

  1. My Women Studies Analysis due tomorrow and I'm only halfway through it. I'm just scared that I am not on the right bullshittng track. If you know wat i mean.

  2. The 10 topics that i will have to remember out of the 25 that is gonna appear in my Politics paper on Tuesday next week. Which I have not touched on, coz I thought that Criminal Justice was next Tuesday. Not Politics. Well, at least i realised it sooner.

  3. My entire semester's worth of grades kept on replaying itself in my head, constantly telling my sub conscious mind that I need at least a Credit for the exams to get straight Ds and CRs in my result slip.

  4. My conscious mind telling me to calm down and take things one at a time

  5. Its strange, this fear. But I guess, I want it that bad... *shrugs*

  6. My chest and back... hurts.

  7. I need something to distract me right now but I can't bring myself to have fun coz it keeps on appearing in my head.
As a result?

Tonight.

A night where I can't sleep and I can't do anything coz I'm stumped. At a loss for actions.

And surprise, its already 8.05 am and the sun have been up for ages. And I'm mentally tired but I can't go to sleep and I will be heading to school soon. Since I need to get away from temptation at home such as the bed and story books and well, I do need to finish my Women Studies Analysis inclusive of footnotes. So ya. I need other kind of books.

Haiz.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

EXAMS TIMETABLE.

DateDayStart TimeTopicTitle
Duration

Building

17-11-09Tuesday17:45:00POLI1009Govt, Business & Society
2:00

Sport Centre


20-11-09Friday13:15:00CRIM1004Criminal Justice System
1:30

Sturt Gym

25-11-09Wednesday13:15:00ENGL1001Professional English
3:00
Sport Centre

I have no idea why i was under the impression that Criminal Justice Exams is tuesday and not friday.
HAIYO! now i have to kill self after my women studies assignment.

And my paper ends at 8pm on Tuesday!

Monday, November 09, 2009

Callin' U

Just what I need to remind me to have faith. It came at the right time... This is the first time I've heard them... And truthfully, my respect goes straight out to them. *salutes*


I'm callin' U
With all my goals, my very soul
Ain't fallin' through
I'm in need of U
The trust in my faith
My tears and my ways is drowning so
I cannot always show it
But don't doubt my love

I'm callin' U
With all my time and all my fights
In search for the truth
Tryin'a reach U

See the worth of my sweat
My house and my bed
Am lost in sleep
I will not be false in who I am
As long as I breathe

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't feel nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
all I need in my life

I'm callin' U
When all my joy
And all my love is feelin' good
Cuz it's due to U

See the time of my life
My days and my nights
so it's alright
Cuz at the end of the day
I still got enough for me and my

I'm callin' U
When all my keys
And all my bizz
Runs all so smooth
I'm thankin' U
See the halves in my life
My patience, my wife
With all that I know
Oh, take no more than I deserve
Still need to learn more

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
all I need in my life

Our relationship, so complex
Found U while I was headed straight for hell in quest
You have no one to compare to
'Cause when I lie to myself it ain't hidden from U
I guess I'm thankful
Word on the street is U changed me
It shows in my behaviour
Past present future
Lay it all out
Found my call in your house
And let the whole world know what this love is about

Yo te quiero, te extraño, te olvido
Aunque nunca me has faltado, siempre estas conmigo
Por las veces que he fallado y las heridas tan profundas
Mejor tarde que nunca para pedirte mil disculpas
Estoy gritando callado yo te llamo, te escucho, lo intento
De ti yo me alimento
Cuando el aire que respiro es violento y turbulento
Yo te olvido, te llamo, te siento

[Translation:]
I love you, I miss you, I forget you
Even though you never let me down and always are by my side
For all the times I've failed and hurt you deeply
Better later than never to give you a 1000 apologies
I'm shouting silently, callin' you, I'm listening to you, I'm tryin'
You nourish me
When the air that I breathe is violent and turbulent
I'm forgettin' you, I'm callin' you, I'm feelin' you

Oh, no, no
I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U
My One & Only

I don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but U...

oh, no, no
i don't need nobody
& I don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but you
MY one and only

I don't need nobody
& i don't fear nobody
I don't call nobody but you
all i need in my life
- Outlandish

Sunday, November 08, 2009

COUNTDOWN

Seems as though everyone has begin their countdown for my return. Its 2 days ago when i was talking to deena that I realise I will be leaving here in approximately 3 weeks. yup.

HMMMMMMM...

it will be good to be home i suppose.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Chest Attacks.

Something that is hard to get, is ALWAYS worth it. She says.

I hope as hell she is right. Coz, I haven't been in the right state of mind since.

It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it. It will be worth it.

I'm sure it will be.

.... At least, I hope so.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Conflicted.

At the end of the day, despite everything, it is morally right... isn't it?

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Dear All,

Thanks for the birthday presents that arrived yesterday!

It was definitely a pleasant surprise!

I love it all!

The watch, the earrings, the swirly decorative thing and yes lili, the care bear too. Even though, i am not going to bring it around to sch... or am i?

MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA... LOL