Hello Home

Its been a difficult time adjusting.

I havent been sleeping much. I just can't sleep.

Its too warm. Its too bright. Its too noisy in the middle of the night. And I stay awake, waiting for the night to get darker as it progresses. I waited and waited. And soon I realise, the sounds of engines being turned on gets more frequent, people starts sneezing, coughing, toilets flushing, water running through the pipes. Yup, people are waking up to go to work already. And I am still awake.

Haiz.

And yes, I am currently in Singapore. Its just one of those random moments of mine which I am so famous for but people have agreed that this is by far the random-est of it all. I've had enough. Had enough of boredom and void of human contact. So i've decided to just fly back here.

My aunt (my mom's sister in Malaysia) thinks and is convinced that I am homesick. But I'm not. Seriously.

I was too bored and I've had enough of staring at the wall and later on the ceiling of the house with no one to talk too or hang with for the entire day OR DAYS. Yup. Some form of random activities and human contact would be good. but oh well.

Its funny how when I was in Adelaide, despite the boredom, I did not miss home and now that I am home, I am somewhat missing Adelaide. The quietness, the peacefulness, the tranquillity. And you know what's worst? When I landed at Changi Airport on Monday, strangely enough, I didn't get the feeling of "i'm home" the way I usually get when I return to Singapore from somewhere. Bleargh!

And you know what else is funny? I can no longer understand the Singapore Accent. I'm so used to the Aussie pronunciation even though I do not have their accent. It has reached to a point where I have constantly turned to Deena and ask "how much did he say?" Yup. Its annoying that I can't seem to catch the totals of the bubble teas or Macs which I'm suppose to be paying for. And therefore, I have now officially given up in trying to decipher the amount and have resorted to passing a large note to pay for the stuff resulting in me having more then enough change! -.-" ya.

Truthfully, somehow I suddenly feel out of place here. And its ONLY been 6 months since I left. I feel like a bloody alien in my own country, simply by not being able to catch what others are saying! bleargh~

APOLOGIES~

I know that i havent been blogging much since the last I blogged about me moving remember?

Ya well.. let's see alot of things have somewhat happened i suppose... lol! Hols ends this week or rather tomorrow and guess what have i been doing? NOTHING. great isnt it? yup.

I'm so grumpy angry frustrated at the fact that I've been bored with nothing to do. Yup. I do get annoyed when i have nothing to do no one to go out with. its the same kind of feeling i get when my grandmother decides to shut down on me back home and I cant go out.

I'm the kinda person who gets restless easily and boredom doesnt really sit well with me. I feel kinda useless.

Anywayz, i went into some house trouble but now i've been moved. followed my housemate and moved with her. SO its all good at least for now. My room is spacious enough but its kinda far from the toilet and with the sprained ankle, that's not really a good thing especially when its already uber urgent. HMPH!

Soooo.. how did i sprain my ankle?

Remember the fencing comp that i was blogging abt last week or so? yup. I had fencing comp 2 fridays ago and I sprained my ankle in the first bout of the Foil comp. And yes, I know I fenced Sabre but I was supposed to fence all 3 weapons in the competition. The last I did that was in Sec School. -.-

SO I sprained my ankle rite? I pulled out of foil and epee and continued fencing sabre in which we won. HAHAHAHAH! Sprained ankles and all. It was quite hilarious how we won the sabre comp coz I can barely move! lol! One of the reason why I still wanted to fence despite the sprain was coz I stayed in Adelaide during sch hols instead of flying back to Singapore was for this comp. so ya.

But ya my teammate have proudly announced that Flinders have a candidate for Paralympics! annoying rite!!??

The first 3 days of the sprain was a nightmare. I couldnt move and it hurt so bad. All i wanted to do was cry. HMPH! Whooops!~ i shouldnt have admit it here. lol! But Mel helped feed me over the weekend. he send dinner over!! yay!! so nice rite my best friend? *smiles*

SO what have i been doing? I've been doing movie marathons and drama series marathons coz I stole it from my housemate. Yup she gave me her entire external hard drive for me to take whatever i wanted. LOL! so i've been having marathons of

Wildchild
X Men Origins
Dragonball Evolution
Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging
Marley and Me
Click
Transporter 1, 2, and 3
Fast & Furious
Bolt
City of Ember
Bedtime Stories
Yes Man
Changeling
Slumdog Millionaire
Space Buddies
Horsemen
Moulin ROuge

YUP. Thats alot of movies but i've watched it all and some more than once! LOL! its only been 3 or 4 days. Watched Desperate Housewives too..

But i've been tired from the moving and the energy drained from trying to control the pain from my ankle that i've just been lying unconscious on the bed half the time and it doesnt help that the weather here has been unpredictable and therefore cutting the internet connection off half the time.

Really pisses me off.

Hmmm.. you know.. Mom asked me to go home the other day. But I was half hearted. I don't know why. There were times that I was thinking that I should have just went home, if i didnt sprain my ankle or with the sprain ankle. but at the same time, i keep on thinking that staying here seems like the best idea.

I've adjusted here enough. If I were to go home, it'll be like going back to a craving no? And then coming back here I will have to readjust all over again.

The thing with me is that I don't even know how I feel sometimes. I'm so used to dealing with things sometimes that I have no idea how i really feel. Whether I miss home or I don't? It doesnt help that I'm someone who have never vocalise my thoughts or feelings.... much.

My cousins have been wanting to go for an end of the year get a way. Hope I can join them... I havent been on a holiday in a really long while. =)

Halimah wants to go KL end of the year and she intends to drag me along as well. LOL!

I need to readjust my body clock. bleargh!

School starts next week and I dont wanna goooooooooooo~!!! LOL

LADY GAGA

I think one can agree with me that its not easy to appreciate the kind of music by Lady Gaga, the techno mix and the overly computerized voice can get alittle annoying when you're not in the right mood for it. But.. I actually like this acoustic version!!! LOL!

So mel! Once your internet is fine again, please download k? i'll post up the list of songs i want toooo~!

FINALLY

Someone out of the ordinary for National Day Theme Song!

CLEAN ROOM

I realised one thing today and yesterday.

Its different living by yourself and living with total strangers.

I'm a clean freak.

one of the reasons why i have yet to put my necessary stuff in public areas is coz i have not clean those public areas yet and i am somewhat... errmmm..

well let's just put it.. i wouldnt put it there...

at least not yet.

I would disinfect the entire house if i could. heh.

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Next week's the comp... I might actually most probably hopefully get a medal. khekhekhekhekhe...

But then i have yet to fenced everyone...

so i cannot be over confident.. yup yup

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how's the new house?

haiz. have yet to find out.

its just strange having to own everything... like as if i dont have enough stuff of my own already...

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you know there's always this sinking feeling.

i dont even know what it is anymore...

or maybe its better not knowing...

Baking Spree

I'm thinking if I should bake this week.

I was thinking of Nutella Rolls.

And also try remaking the kosui which came up as somewhat a failure the last time round. hmmm~

This was the fruit tart I made the last time round. I miss my pie dish from home. Baking in ceramic dish seems to have a different turnout. I think I need to re do it and see what's wrong.. or worst come to worst. just get myself my own aluminium spriing form pie dish...

This was the second time I did this fruit tart.. the first time i did it was about 3yrs back for mother's day. the topping was strawberry though instead of orange.. =)

Truthfully, baking is at times an expensive affair. LOL~!

Ignorantly Random.

I wished I was ignorant about things.

And the naivety and ignorance of my face matches the depth of my knowledge. Then I would constantly be bouncing on a cloud of happy.

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Eh Deena,

You know wat? I read your blog. And I saw the Let It Rock vid.

There's 5 things I missed about Sydney besides the food:-

Right Round. *both taking over dance floor in the R&B room*
Live My Life. *wolf whistle*
Day & Night. *remembers certain idiot I had to dance off with*
Soulja Boy. *Winks and burst out laughing*

and of course Timmy Trumpet. LOL! Only he managed to make trance to die for. LOL! <- That's alot coming out of me since I really hate trance. heh.

I am... Sasha Fierce. *crumps*

Beyonce should give me a VIP pass for her end yr tour!! *pouts*

Yes I'm just itching to party rite now. I'm that stressed. *Wriggles about while sitting*
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And yes, I am worried about my paper tomorrow. Very worried to the point that I'm shivering when I'm not even cold. -.-"

Father's Day

I didn't realise it was Father's day today till I received a txt from someone reminding me that. Why? Coz I remembered in my entire life, there was only one father's day where I was present, he was present.

During that point of time, I was always excited of having days like this. You behave, you bathe early and smell good and dress nice waiting for your parents / dad to come home and then you can give present, smile for the picture and receive the kisses and tickles that come along with it and then you think to yourself, you have to be the luckiest girl in the world. It happened once when I can remember. Its like christmas morning or the morning of your birthday.

But every year I behaved, every year I fell asleep waiting. And then, I grew up and decide not to look forward to such childish fantasies anymore. And soon, I start forgetting.

I just hope that who knows eventually hopefully maybe one day I do get married and eventually hopefully maybe one day I may have children. For him to show them how much he loves them, even if it is more then he loves me.

And I hope that every year they will always have smiles plastered on their faces by their father; at least once a year.

Happy Father's Day.

ha.

Things that make me burst out laughing PART 2~!

on why, we're so shy when we see each other face to face....


°· her royal freshness ·° says:
eh yah hor. why we so shy?!-

::Nadira Putri::- Turn the lights low says:
you la!

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
wahaahah

-::Nadira Putri::- Turn the lights low says:
smile smile at me
then i smile smile back lor
lol!

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
or so now I'm like a retarded old woman lah!

Its times like this...

THAT I BURST OUT LAUGHING IN THE LIBRARY!

-::Nadira Putri::- Turn the lights low says:
you sound good too..lol!! why so happy today?

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
ah....what a shame
haha
am tryin to act extra happy, hoping my brain'll catch it too
it's a pretty dull day lah
how's the weather there!

-::Nadira Putri::- Turn the lights low says:
hmmm
the weather?
pre-menstrual!
cant seem to decide to be cold or hot

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
ooo
maybe you shld talk to it and offer coffee
okay that's lame
haha

-::Nadira Putri::- Turn the lights low says:
i am speechless!!!!
WAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

°· her royal freshness ·° says:
I wld be too if I were you!
wahahah

E.M.P.T.I.N.E.S.S.

Its silent and deafening isn't it?

Or maybe its just me staying alone on the hills is silent and deafening? hmmz...

one thing i will miss once i move down from Eden Hills will be this scenario:

You walking along the dark streets with the street lamps approximately 250m away from the other, the cold wind hitting your face like a pack of ice, humming away to make some noise in the totally loud silence. You can feel your nose ice cold and can imagine yourself looking like rudolf, then you will unconsciously grin to yourself.

Then you will take in a deep breathe. The refreshing smell of trees, the coolness of the night and also a certain comfort. You inhale again, and you smell the faint scent of burnt wood. The air cool with a mix of slightly warmer air as you past each house and see the chimney busily smoking away.

You allow yourself to imagine of snuggling up in front of the fire place with hot tea or hot chocolate with a blanket around you and a book in hand or having a really interesting conversation with someone close. And after a long day? it seemed perfect.

Its the smell of comfort of a cosy kitchen on a cold night.

and you stand in the middle of the streets and look up and you see the stars like a blanket of diamonds in the sky. You just stand there for the next 15 minutes and observe the wonders of god and 10 degrees on your right, you'll see the moon. Equally magnificent.

Both looking larger then what i've seen back home... its like as though you could pluck the wonders of the sky and keep it in your pocket for your own personal treasure.

Its small wonders like these that seemed etched in your mind.

Then I realise, i cherish all the smaller things non existent things like this more then anything else.

Personal treasures. Simple pleasures. Perfect memories.

Blushworthy

This has to be one of the cutest videos i've seen! LOL!!



Me, plus you. (Im'a tell you one time)
Me, plus you(One time, Im'a tell you one time)
Me, plus you(One time, Im'a tell you one time)
(one time) one time, (One TIme) one time

When I met you girl my heart went knock knock
Now them butterflies in my stomach wont stop stop
and even thought it's a struggle love is all we got
so we gonna keep keep climbin till the mountain top

your world is my world
And my fight is your fight
my breath is your breath
And your heart and now I've got my

Chorus
One love, My one heart, My one life for sure
Let me tell you one time(girl I love, girl I love you)
Im'a tell you one time(girl I love, girl I love you)and I'll be your one guy
You'll be my number one girl
Always making time for you
Im'a tell you one time(girl I love, girl I love you)
Im'a tell you one time(girl I love, girl I love you)

You look so deep
You no that it humbles me
You by my side and troubles them dont trouble me
Many have called but the chosen is you
Whatevery you want shawty I'll give it to you

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I dunno why i keep on smiling seeing the video! lol!

*SCREAMS*

Time Check: 7:30am.

I've been up for days but i haven't been doing much. no its not coz i didnt know how to do this like my previous essay...

This time round, its just procrastination. yup.

Procrastination is every student's best friend. I should be finished with my essay by now lor! haiz. Its not even that hard to begin with.. but noooo i did EVERYTHING ELSE then to do this essay. haiyo.

So for now, I'm half done. -.-"



*Applauds* I've always had this version in my MP3 but i wasn't aware that it was all him. LOL!

This pic made me burst out laughing!

She has now proceeded to put the both of us in a relationship on fb!

Of Warm Fuzzies & Sharpened Knives.

See the irony in the title? ha.

Anywayz, my cousins drove into Singapore on thursday night. Did I tell you that my aunt from Netherlands is in Singapore as well? Yup. She'll be there for a year which means when I come back here she'll still be there... *shudders*

SO. I was talking about my cousins ya? One of the many things they miss now in my absence is my credit card... -.-" Such love rite?! idiots.

They found me online when I was about to get ready to leave the house to go central market! LOL!!

(YA! I JUST FINISHED BATHING WHEN SHE CAUGHT ME!)

They obviously just woke up.

And they proceeded in watching me get ready! i have pervs for cousins.

(Salam Sayang dari Australia! khekhekeh)

They showed me kinky!!! Kinky's so fat now. haiz. MISS THEM! I MISS TIGER MORE! But i was staring at tiger's face too much to actually remember taking her pic when my cousins presented her on the webcam. heh.

Ya. They're always done the most retarded stuff. Especially baby.

This pic was apparently for angah to share with australia his morning breath which his sisters were screaming about at the point of time of this picture.

Soulja boy inspired... eh angah? lol!

Its interesting how pple get closer despite the oceans. We've never been this close before. Suddenly me and baby are talking everyday when we've never done that before. Doesn't help that Baby is the furthest from the siblings since she's in Uni in KL rite now.

Mawar isn't in the pic coz she's in putrajaya, she got posted there for work now. So much for wanting to die die stay in Melaka. LOL! but ya.. They've been buzzing me online on a daily basis.

I appreciate it. Alot.

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Hypocrisy pisses me off. I shouldnt still be pissed. But, I am. It still pisses me off everytime it crosses my mind. I swear I'm not gonna be in a good mood during fencing next week.

Some double headed snake. Fuck you. seriously. Fuck you.

What wrong have I ever done to you? I've always had my suspicions of you. Pple tell me that you'll always be like that. And I thought that we grew up. People change. That's the reason why I talked when you prompt me online.

Seems like I'm the only one that grew up huh? I should have known better. But you know wat? I really dont have the energy for this shit anymore. I really don't.

I really should stop giving people second chances. People, they've never appreciated me have they? They've always have been taking advantage of my kindness huh? fuck off. seriously.

Stop acting so angelic. Look in the fucking mirror and you'll see what you truly are. You say things just because. Pple have told me I'm worth more than this than to waste my time about people like fucking you. Ya. I should have listen.

I'm worth more than this.

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I think I'm falling sick. I constantly have the urge of wanting to vomit.

I don't know whether is it becoz i'm stressed, tired or wat...

Hear The Whispers of My Heart...

I was grateful for company yesterday. I've been tired and way out of it. I was craving for company... I want someone to be around, talk to, laugh with or just be there even when I sleep. I got that yesterday.

Being here alone, i miss human contact. I miss receiving hugs just because. I miss being hugged when i'm sleeping, I miss being hugged when I'm cold, I miss being hugged just to give me a certain warmth... I miss having someone I can tell that I have stomachache and they would rub my tummy till i fall aslp...

I've been having dreams. Nightmares. Some woke me up gasping for air and in tears, some woke me up in shock and some woke me up and i just smile sadly to the ceiling.

Letoya-Torn- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

I'm disappointed in myself, for still...

I'm disappointed in myself, for not being able to move as fast as...

I'm disappointed in myself, for taking this long and still not being able to.

I should be angry with myself rite? yeah... maybe i should be.

Coz who knows, I was nothing before... nothing at all?

Of lies and deceptions. I have been the biggest fool in this entire situation have I not?

But even after all this, I still do... How's that? There must be something really wrong with my head, my heart, with me.

Mary: You know it wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't love him. I wished there was a pill I could take to make love go away...

Mother: Why would you wanna make it go away? Its difficult to come by in the first place.

Quote from Movie: The Women

Bbbut.. I've never found you wrong despite knowing the things that you did not think I knew. After all the things we've put each other through... some honesty would be good tho.

To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

So even a song suggests, time? ha.

To you: I'm sorry I rejected you about 4mths back.... i guessed we should have just gave it a shot since at least I knew you cared more about me then I ever will for you. That should be it ritE?

But we didn't and I hurt you instead.. So i'm sorry.

so for now...

i'm

Single, Unavailable and looking (if you'll consider.)

Btw, just bare in mind what you're getting yourself into. This girl, doesnt believe in love.

Oh and if you want my heart? I gave it to a certain someone and its still there for safekeeping. You want it? Please call him to arrange for an interview appointment. This interview will determine if you're even worth my time. I'm sorry to say that decision is left solely to the interviewer's discretion.

No matter how much they've tried pulling me away...

somehow...

it seems that...

i cant.

haiz. dear god, is this wrong? it is, isnt it?

This is the longest i've been trying to finish a damn essay. I've been at this stupid thing since last wednesday and I have now asked my tutor for an extension in which he gave me an extra 24hours. Like thanks rite? the least he could do was to give me a more comfortable timing rite? like 48hours or wat.

I think he hates me. Yup. My classmate got a week. hmph~!

So I am still up typing this thing.. finishing soon... and deena is online. Finally i've managed to talk to her online since she's back in singapore and recovered from fever!

and i like this portion of the conversation.


deen: SUPERWOMAN says:
u doin ur essay ah?

-::Countess Dee::- [Rising from the ashes] says:
no la.. i plucking flowers

and i like how she just ignore the sarcasm and continued talking as if i wasnt doing my essay... LOL!

In the midst of pulling my hair,

Don't worry. I'm not bald yet... My hair is too thick for it to go bald within one assignment.

I managed to smile thanks to 2 different people tonight. One was about 6hrs ago and the other was 1min ago.

Thanks so much! for keeping me sane~

Loves~

I'm really on the verge of screaming rite now.

I have essays to do and yet my mind has it own things its pondering about! My body is functioning on a 22hour clock. That is what it was as of today / yesterday.

Deena can you call me later or something? Thanks!

Maybelline Gel Liner / Eyestudio

Yup this is the thing as I was referring too in my previous post and as Hally requested, this is a review.

I've been using this thing close to a year and I'm still at the same pot that I bought close to a year ago. There's a reason why this product became no. 1 product in Japan when it was first launched.

What are my thoughts on this product?

1. APPLICATION - The brush is soft (therefore the bristles do not hurt your eyes upon application) and the gel is smooth... Therefore, its easy to apply.

2. MOISTURE - Like I say its been with me for the past yr and it has not dried up the way other brands have dried up on my friends... In particular, Deena's Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner.. In the period of my one pot (which is still not finished) Deena already replaced hers twice coz it dried up... lol!

3. PRICE - Its Maybelline... How expensive can it get? Its about time pple reach out to the masses yo!

4. COLOURS - It comes in 4 colours... But I'm not sure whether Singapore has all the colours the other countries have... When I bought it 2 days after it was launched, Singapore only had black and brown. The colours of this thing is rich! The black is jet black, the brown is alittle darker than a milk chocolate brown, the purple is plum and the blue or was it green? watever it is.. its rich..

5. CONVENIENCE - The pot is small and the brush is slim, its able to fit into a standard size make-up bag.

6. UPKEEPING - The gel comes off easily with just a wipe of a normal facial wipe or any make up remover. You dont have to use an oil-based make-up remover. So... That's what you do with the brush... Wipe it with your facial wipe or any of your make up remover to maintain the bristles, preferably after every use... If you dont then your bristles will harden and it'll be like poking your eye with a needle! lol.. but that doesnt mean it cant be removed once its harden.. it still can... quite easily actually.

7. VERSATILITY - Since application is with a brush, you control the thickness of your application if you intend to apply it to your upper lid and you could also smudge it for your classic smoky look... It works fine on your waterline as well..

Conclusion:

I dont really have much complains about this product. I guess some who have never tried a moisture rich eyeliner will fine it alittle sticky after applying it... but you'll get used to it after awhile... I find it quite long lasting even though it is not waterproof. I suspect retouching would be after 6 -10hours depending on individual's skin type.

Basically, i think this is a worthy investment and a great addition to anyone's make up kit. =)

Hally, I hope this review is sufficient.. lol! Anything else you want me to comment on? LOL!