PRODUCTION NIGHT
Another wedding to plan for.
Its just like another production. Lights. Camera. Action.
How I miss that adrenaline rush! As the lights come on, and you focus everything on your co-actor, you look out into the audience and you see nothing but a black mass. But you know its a full house out there. It always is.
You hear the random gasps as slaps were exchanged before you.
You hear the occasional sobs reminding you that you're not crying for yourself anymore. You're not crying alone.
You feel yourself drifting away from whatever that defines you and you feel an image of yourself looking at you from the sidelines.
You could be anything, anyone you allow yourself to be. You could allow your deepest secrets to be revealed but no one will take it seriously. The beauty of that.
Or maybe its the busy-ness that I miss. Crafting of sets, costumes and props hunting, lighting meetings, stage managers briefing, make up decisions. The auditions, the casting, the rehearsals, the emotions.
Or maybe its the creativity that I miss. The stage blocking. The vision you have in your mind as you type furiously onto your computer or scribble unto your notepad as a 6page scene unfolds before you. The smile carved on your face after you saved the final approx. 50page script knowing that you're gonna send it for printing the following day to be distributed at cast meeting.
Or maybe.. its just plainly the people that we miss. The good old people who stand by your side. Who supported you through thick and thin. Who had those late night post rehearsals suppers and early morning pre directorial meeting breakfasts with you. The people you meet while you're completing a project. The characters you'll have to deal it.
Its like a distant memory. Especially now, when you've left it all behind and appear to be so far away. So distant sometimes you question yourself of its authentication.
See. A wedding prepartion is just like that. A production. Only with drama of a different kind. *smiles at bride-to-be*
Initially, I thought I didn't care. When the news of the earthquake and tsunami plastered the papers around the world, I still didn't call to check how you were. Maybe circumstances made me this way. *shrugs* I've been hurt too much in 2010 that I don't wanna care about anyone anymore.
Mom called me to ask me if i've heard from you coz nobody could reach you not even your mom. My reply was laced with annoyance, "If no one can reach her, what makes you think i can? Its not as if we have special walkie-talkies. I'll still have to text her." When Deena asked about you and I told her.. i really didn't care.
After much persuasion, I texted you wondering how you were especially now with the nuclear plants explosion and I received an immediate reply from you telling me that things are bad but you're all well. I told you to come home, I'm sure your dad did too...
I wanted to tell you that Aikido School isn't all that worth it. I wanted to tell you just leave Japan for the time being and come home to the family that's worried about you. But what can we do if all flights out of Japan are cancelled and the transportation system within Japan isn't functioning. Besides, I wouldn't be there for you when you need me, since i'm 7000miles away from home.
At the end of the day, you're my cousin. Even though I act as if I don't care, deep down I still do. So here's to me hoping that you're safe and well and of course, very much alive.
Act 4 started off with the wait is over, followed by Live your live, Run this town and take a bow. Take a bow being her final song. 
