The One of A Kind

AGE IS CATCHING UP!
And I think the 5 Cs are setting in.

ITS BEEN A REALLY REALLY LONG WEEK~!

i've left my job. I feel liberated.

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If i had a choice to rewind this yr's hari raya, i would! Things could have been different.

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Went out on Wednesday, looking around and walking everywhere and did everything imaginable. And when i reached home, i was still smiling from the outing. I continued smiling for quite sometime actually and then it hit me hard.

I am actually growing up.

I look at cars and make a mental check that I would want something like that in the future. I look at houses and make a mental check of how I would love the interior to be. Am I materialistic? I dunno. *shrugs*

Conversations of dream houses and dream cars were only exchanged around the girlfriends. We giggle and laugh at each other's silly dreams and encourage each other that its never impossible to achieve it.

We conversed about kids, our future, future husbands, future careers. We complained about why we've never met with someone who shares the same dream, sees the same future or even... like the same house.

Trust me, between us girls, we've agreed.. finding someone who likes the same kind of house is not impossible.... just quite hard to find. A dream house to a girl, sometimes, symbolises alot of things and for someone else to have the same thing in mind is..... undescribable.

All these while, to me it was JUST conversation topics.

As I was walking around, my mind wondered. I actually thought of the future (i.e: the possible outlook of my house), my career, my life, and it might actually be spent with someone.

That made me stop short in my tracks as I shook my head. I smiled.

Standing right here, is a girl who have believed nearly her whole life that she will never end up married. She has imagined her smiles and laughters with kids to be coming from the times spent with her nieces, nephews and her godchildren. She has visioned herself pampering those kids with all the things she could ever imagined. This is a girl who have walked away from every possibilities of leaving herself vulnerable to feelings. She reaches into her mind and goes into the familiar place where only she exists with her thoughts every time she hates whatever she's seeing.

And why did I smile?

Coz, I suddenly realised that this girl who was so afraid of showing her true feelings and has somewhat believed that love exists only in fairytales and in reality is just another word, opened her eyes and saw that there are still sunshine and rainbows in this world. She stepped out.

She entertained her thoughts and instead of worrying like she usually do.

She is actually smiling.

Smiling at the thoughts of her future.

And her really really near future plan is to get herself the MOTOROLA RAZR2 V9 to replace her Samsung E840 which is spoilt and currently deemed irrepairable. She has somewhat been "phoneless" for the past 2mths plus. lol! Maybe she'll get it by early next year.

So pray for my future plans pple! Amen.