The One of A Kind

Squeeze it dry and I'll gasp for air.

My chest hurt so bad. By the end of it, i succumbed to my frustration. Something i've been controlling the whole day.

Walked away in a pace where only my feet were aware off, my eyes blurred. There were too many people, didn't realised that I was actually bumping into them. Waiting for the lights to change, I was still trying to supress my tears. I started hyperventilating.

A sinking feeling overcame me. A lot of things went wrong today. Before i left, I even irritated my boyfriend.

I made my way across the road as the tears made its way down my cheeks. I was still unconscious of my tears, my direction and my surrounding. Walked a few more steps aimlessly, before I actually broke down and started sobbing.

I stood there, covering my face, giving in to the tears and started shaking. I looked up into the sky as rain touches the ground. The rain was washing my tears away. Yet, I wasn't able to stop myself. My phone rang, and i ignored a friend.

Standing there in the rain, I look around. My eyes searching for the familiar silhouette. He couldn't be seen. At that point, i've never felt so alone. I pissed him off and I didn't have the chance to apologize. I actually went in search of him when I was told that he has already left.

Guilt struck me hard. My heart, heavy from everything and I just sat there, numb. They left and I just sat there.

Dialed his number and erased it, before re-dialing just to erase it again. I shouldn't have allowed my frustration to spill out of me and accidentally took it on others.

Finally pressing the green button, I started walking around. Tears came all over again. Worry, Frustration, Guilt.

By the end of it, I was drenched, soaked to the bones and shivering. But I couldn't feel... I was just plain numb. I wouldn't be surprised if I fall sick and die.

To both of you, I'm sorry for worrying you guys.
To Mel, I'm sorry for irritating you today and I'm sorry for everything else. I thank you for trying to be patient even when I wasnt perfect.

Even though I want to say so much. From now on, I'm just gonna keep things to myself. No more telling anything, no more showing my frustration. No more. To no one. No more. It'll be better off for everyone like that. I'm sure of it.

I'm rebuilding my wall. Layer by layer, brick by brick.