Cold War: No More

I've been annoyed for awhile already. He came over just now to meet me at home before going out.

Truthfully, i was more worried about the possibility of my boyfriend being featured in the next episode of "Missing" than anything else.

At that point of time, i was more worried about him getting lost in Hougang than being annoyed at him. Especially when he has not reached the house more than an hour after he left his house.

But of course, due to the fact i was annoyed with him, i obviously refrained myself from smsing him. Haiz. They say only male have egos. i think today, i have shown the whole world that there is such thing as female ego as well.

*faints* will wonders ever cease?

I had half the mind to just tell him to meet me at the nearest MRT Station. hahaha.. talk about paranoid sia..

I even started pacing up and down my study room at one point until the doorbell rang and I found him grinning triumphantly at my doorstep. I think my expression was priceless. lol.

I really can't help it la.. esp when the last time he send me home he told me that i live in some Ulu Pandan area of Singapore... and that was a cab ride la... He took a bus to come over today. I think anyone would understand my paranoia when they know mel. lol! Sorry mel! hehehehe...

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Anywayz, caught The Seeker; the dark is rising today. Seriously, dont watch it pple! the both of us actually nearly fell asleep half way through the movie. Even the popcorns wasnt helping!! We even found the popcorns boring!

Its like sian-ness X 1000000. really!

I thought nothing could be worst than Resident Evil.... i surely thought wrong! hahahaha...

I would give it 1 out of 5 popcorns for nice special effects and cinematography. Other than that, it was draggy and boring~!

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thanks for today. you were really sweet. heee. and no, its not because the both of us happen to be wearing pink. lol!

I found out today that my initial birthday present from Mama was a 2-week vacation to Mauritius and I was supposed to leave the country today.

However, due to certain events that have unfold itself in the past few weeks of my life... Mama has decided to just get me the camera and she is of course, highly annoyed at how things are actually turning out.

I havent exactly blogged how it has been turning 21.

To tell you the truth, i havent felt like blogging for weeks already. Eversince Hari Raya came. I just wish that someone would just take me away from here. Take me away from reality and just spend that one day with me, in a place where there's no one else.

Before i forget, i'd just like to thank Halimah for treating me to a play on Saturday! It was a good one. Really. wahahaha.. i cried!! *hides face* I cant believe i just admitted that here! AAHAHHA... and that was one of the most eye opening script ever. LOVE IT~!

Went to watch the YCP skit at Tampines CC. It was farnie!! lol! kudos to the casts and production team! the rest of the pics are with the other YCP members that was present for the Hari Raya thing...

On other topics, work has been keeping me really occupied the whole week or 2. Its been alrite i guess... Made my very first Japanese friend... Takeru! lol! I've come to a conclusion that Japanese are so polite and soft spoken people.

More pics with Azai! lol... but look at us man... we look as though we've been having lack of sleep! i guess it happens when you have to wake up so so so early a few days in a week! Aside from getting teased constantly and daily by timothy and de sheng.. its been fun! And i think i should start wearing cap to go out.. yes?

oh yes.. i havent posted pics of my jln raya with the senoritas!

I think thats enough pics for now folks... And Deena is beginning to believe that she is my long lost twin... *Faints!!!* She is convinced that we are beginning to look alike. I have no idea if that is good or bad.

And how has it been turning 21? its been unexpected. Its been quite.. hrmmm... and i've been quite annoyed with someone eversince my birthday. LOL!

so yeah.. go figure!

For now, i'm gonna go to bed! wheeee~! *apparates~!*

i cant seem to open my eyes. Nobody's online to entertain me.

sadded.

Oh ya. i forgot to say... I HAVE A CAMMIE NOW! lol! yup yup. Mama got me a cammie for my 21st bday!! yay.. thankiews Ma~! the only down pt was that i got it 2 days before my bday! llol!!! ao i felt old earlier than expected~! whaha...

omg omg omg... i'm so sleepy...

And i'm just waiting for you to say something to me... i'm just waiting for you to say whats within... that's all.. I'm not doing things on purpose... A girl needs to hear things once in a while and like a guy, a girl would want to feel that she's needed as well. haiz...

*curls up and moves to the corners where no one is able to find me*

I'm so tired i seriously am not able to keep myself awake!

tmr's friday! yayness... oh wait. i'm going out during the weekends.

I know them much better now. YAY!! and vice versa!! hehehehee... we're seriously gonna be up to some mischief! so beware people, the force have unite! lol!!!

Actually, i am surprised at how romantic they can be at their age. At how thoughtful they can get. Yerp, their girlfriends are definitely lucky even though i think they (the girlfriends) dont quite realise it... lol!

I have to wake up at about 5 later.... Anyone willing to wake me up?! i guess not.. who's kind enough to do that for me rite?? haiz haiz haiz...

And dear pple, 10th November jalan raya is confirmed! pls unbook yourself if you already have something on. THANKS!

And yes, i'm currently annoyed. I don't ask for much do i?

Its been a long week and yes, its only wednesday! I wanna sleep can?!? lol!!

But anywayz, things have been quite fun... i've never been in a close proximity with someone for such long periods and we have agreed that we should get 4D and most probably there is a high probability it will strike! lol!!

I've never hung out with them the way i did in such a long time! and trust me, i enjoyed it. I missed hanging out with them and there are some characteristics that exist in the 4 of us.

We're united. Strong brotherhood shite, ya know. And trust me, i was shocked that it exist.

Maybe its true wat they say.... Blood is indeed thicker than water.

MY TOLERANCE LEVEL IS AT A DANGEROUS LOW

Turning 21 doesn't mean that my tolerance level has gone up a notch. Yup. NOPE! especially when the past few days has been highly annoying!

Its Hari Raya still isnt it? yup yup. Well. we do go out with our friends every single hari raya.

I'm going out with my secondary school friends today. There were very few of us. we have settled to a very small group eversince sec sch. Hey, malay families dont really send their children to convents unless their parents are open-minded. Yes at this day and age, there is still such thing.

With a small group, there was you know... still some miscommunication about dates. Even though, the dates were set 3 weeks ago. ok fine. whatever. that was easily resolved. The 3 of us are still meeting.

I went to tertiary education at place where it was highly populated by my race.

I did have culture shock when i entered poly. Really. From a school of medium malay population to a school with barely any malays to a school where i see them at nearly every corner of school.

The culture shock was.... there were so many malays. and my problem? I couldnt really speak malay at that time (but that doesnt mean i failed Malay for 'O's! getting a B is even unacceptable for me).

My malay had an english accent while my english had a chinese accent. Its bad.

But anywayz, i thought, HEY! At least here my hari raya would be more fun! or so i thought.

The dates was set the same time i set my sec sch outing. 3 weeks. And here i thought it would be more than enough time to give people time to plan their time properly, to plan their outings and not drag it till the week itself and afew days ago... STILL unconfirmed. The best part? The date wasnt set by me.

I should have known better. What can i expect out of you know... i may sound very racist here. But maybe i am pissed. Maybe i am just very thankful by my upbringing. I'm definitely thankful who my close friends are...

At least, when people look at us... they know that not everyone is the same. There are still people who are able to put aside their differences and still come together all civilised.

I got a present from god yesterday for my 21st and rite now i'm suffering. All i wanna do is go home!

I just got a bday surprise from them just now. They bought a cake back after lunch! So sweet can!! and i tell you something, its been such a long time since the last i blew candles... and well..

I cannot aim where is the candle can! lol!! so embarrasing!

oh man.. my stomach really painful la!

i've been awake since 530am today.

Thanks dear for waking me up! totally appreciate it! *muacks*

I was at Azi's office at 640am... I swear i've never been so early to an office in my entire life before!!! SERIOUS!

and then i'm at microsoft. I've been at microsoft since 8. and i am still at microsoft la! only leaving at 530. I tell you... the office here is like WHOA! lol... the pantry here is like... 5 Star hotel standard la... they have EVERYTHING IN ABUNDANCE! and the best part? the pantry is overlooking singapore river, esplanade, the water stadium and all that la...

And i am actually typing from the pantry! you have sofas and couches in the pantry and free internet access with a really nice looking computer. I tell you, if i were to sit where i'm sitting rite now, with the view and all the comfort food and drinks within my reach.. for the next 3 days...

1. i could grow fat
2. i can even end up writing a most probably 20-scene play. The view is uber inspirational and calming. I SWEAR! you have to be here to believe it.

I want to work at microsoft! the dresscode is livable and everything else is uber comfortable. you just have very tight security here... thats all.. but other than that... I WANNA LOOK FOR A JOB OPENING HERE! then i wanna request for my table to be at the pantry.

They may call it a pantry... some will actually call it a mini free cafeteria... I, on the other hand, will just call it... MY LIVING ROOM!

AGE IS CATCHING UP!
And I think the 5 Cs are setting in.

ITS BEEN A REALLY REALLY LONG WEEK~!

i've left my job. I feel liberated.

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If i had a choice to rewind this yr's hari raya, i would! Things could have been different.

--------------------------------------------

Went out on Wednesday, looking around and walking everywhere and did everything imaginable. And when i reached home, i was still smiling from the outing. I continued smiling for quite sometime actually and then it hit me hard.

I am actually growing up.

I look at cars and make a mental check that I would want something like that in the future. I look at houses and make a mental check of how I would love the interior to be. Am I materialistic? I dunno. *shrugs*

Conversations of dream houses and dream cars were only exchanged around the girlfriends. We giggle and laugh at each other's silly dreams and encourage each other that its never impossible to achieve it.

We conversed about kids, our future, future husbands, future careers. We complained about why we've never met with someone who shares the same dream, sees the same future or even... like the same house.

Trust me, between us girls, we've agreed.. finding someone who likes the same kind of house is not impossible.... just quite hard to find. A dream house to a girl, sometimes, symbolises alot of things and for someone else to have the same thing in mind is..... undescribable.

All these while, to me it was JUST conversation topics.

As I was walking around, my mind wondered. I actually thought of the future (i.e: the possible outlook of my house), my career, my life, and it might actually be spent with someone.

That made me stop short in my tracks as I shook my head. I smiled.

Standing right here, is a girl who have believed nearly her whole life that she will never end up married. She has imagined her smiles and laughters with kids to be coming from the times spent with her nieces, nephews and her godchildren. She has visioned herself pampering those kids with all the things she could ever imagined. This is a girl who have walked away from every possibilities of leaving herself vulnerable to feelings. She reaches into her mind and goes into the familiar place where only she exists with her thoughts every time she hates whatever she's seeing.

And why did I smile?

Coz, I suddenly realised that this girl who was so afraid of showing her true feelings and has somewhat believed that love exists only in fairytales and in reality is just another word, opened her eyes and saw that there are still sunshine and rainbows in this world. She stepped out.

She entertained her thoughts and instead of worrying like she usually do.

She is actually smiling.

Smiling at the thoughts of her future.

And her really really near future plan is to get herself the MOTOROLA RAZR2 V9 to replace her Samsung E840 which is spoilt and currently deemed irrepairable. She has somewhat been "phoneless" for the past 2mths plus. lol! Maybe she'll get it by early next year.

So pray for my future plans pple! Amen.

It came and went!


Hari Raya Day 01.

AFTER all the late nights, the back breaking chores, it finally arrived.

So.

It came. It started of... OOOOoookayyyyy...


I was just starting to enjoy myself...


It ended of.... WtF.






Me wore orange this yr's first day. Wanted to wear my purple... but my M'asia's cousin coming tmr. And i wouldnt have anything to wear with them. So i made my aunt finish touching up my orange chiffon top and i raided my closet and found a suitable RED SONGKET that has been passed down from generation to generation and it has ended with me at the moment.



I'm beginning to believe that i'm ugly. ARGH~!!!!!!!!!!!





This Hari Raya, I met 2 new additions to the 4th Generation of the family. From the left, is my newest and latest nephew which i cant remember the name and the right is my newest and latest niece... Thuraiah. They're both the same age different months.

Cuteness. And the best part? They love me! khekhekhekhe...

At least children don't hold grudges of the 2nd generation. We're born without having a choice as to who our parents are. Just make the best of things and bond with everyone, even if they're giving you the cold shoulder.








Girl, We need to hang. WHEN YOU COMING OVER? Today was unfair. Why does it always end like that? yr after yr? meetings after meetings?

Maybe, i always hope for something that I unconsciously am aware that is near impossible.


We're a multi racial family. We look different. We speak all languages. We watch all shows. We have a mix of tradition. We have a rich history. At the end of the day, we're still family. period.

There's more photos. But I guess the above is enough. 1st day of Hari Raya. I don't really wanna blog about it. Its been a long day.

Blazing with Anger

I'm fuming mad. Its so early in the morning and someone pisses me off already. I'm on leave today. Thought of going to work but mom says don't be too nice.


But work isn't pissing me off.

My aunt from Nederlands have touched base safely. AMEN.


So my house is so noisy! I havent been sleeping properly... havent finish doing the ketupat. But the lack of sleep and the noise isnt the thing that's pissing me off as well.

So what is it you may ask?

Hmmm... how shall i put it? Hmmm....


Siblings should put siblings first if they dont have any other responsibilities isnt it? If picking up your sister is considered a job, then I seriously dont know what to say. Someone who only comes once every 2 yrs, is it so difficult to do things willingly? Is it so difficult to come with a smile? Is it soooo difficult to stop yourself from saying such things so early in the morning?

Have you ever considered what others have done for you? The time she brought you out of Singapore coz you were in trouble in singapore. The time where you spent in her house, under her expense for 7 years. She has never considered it her job. She loved them as they were her own siblings even though she was adopted.

She got them out of trouble. She paid for their troubles. And still this?

Why so calculative? Or have things between siblings change without me knowing? Forgive me for my ignorance then.

Your words struck me hard. Disappointment is an understatement. I would have retorted. I would have snapped. But I didn't. I should have. But is it worth it?

Its coz of things like this that I wouldnt mind migrating and never come back. I have nothing here. NOTHING AT ALL. I just hope against all hope that an outsider will not associate me with them if they're not pleased with me... Just coz, their blood flows within.

But i'm fuming mad now. That's for sure.

Now, i'm not looking forward for tomorrow. I don't need to see their face, they definitely DO NOT make my day.

High on Red Alert

Guess what... HARI RAYA'S IN 2 DAYS!!!

I've been the most unexemplary daughter this Hari Raya. I've not helped my mom in any household chores or the baking of cookies. Its that bad.

My last day here is next tuesday. People will be thinking that i'm taking it easy. To tell you the truth, i am stressed out! I'm doing Patent files now, and i'm clearing the stacks of files behind me at hopefully high speed, even though i dont think its as fast as i have hoped!!! *screams*

The thing is that, i wouldnt wanna have back logs for the incoming secretary to clear. I've had to do that when i was asked to help the Patent Dept. IT SUCKED BIG TIME~!

In the last 4 days, i've released close to $40k worth of bills. That's an average of 10K a day! *gasps* My mind is currently blank with nothing but reporting to clients as well as the billing codes.

I AM TIRED. The whole of last week i've been going home late. I reached to the point where i told myself... I SHOULDNT BE TOO KIND. i'm not being paid overtime, my leaves for forfeited and any leaves that i've taken eversince i tendered... has been unpaid. Talk about fairness. Sheesh.

I SWEAR I AM TOO RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN GOOD. it sucks. If only my boss was more reasonable. HAIYO!

During my term of tendering here, i even broke my own record coz i stayed back till 11plus. I AM NOT WORKAHOLIC!! i hope. that will be tooo worrying if you think long term.

I'll never get married, never have children, wont have time for anyone or

anything... i hope i'm not workaholic! choi choi choi!! *touches wood*

Went Geylang yesterday, got his baju melayu. I HAD TO HUNT THE WHOLE OF GEYLANG LA! cb.

i thought it was easy looking for baju melayu. I sure as hell take my word back! In future, i'm gonna get mine and his at the same time and if cannot find colour, i'm gonna buy cloth and ask my aunt to sew!!! End of story.

Speaking of asking my aunt to sew....

She's sewing all of my baju raya this yr. I was supposed to have 3 and this yr's 1st day's colour is supposed to be Orange... But guess wat, my brilliance has reached its peak of all brilliant-ness~!!

Baju #1: bought the orange cloth and everything... its a match with my mom... only that my mom's is hot pink, while mine is orange. then... spoil factor was... WE DIDNT BUY LINING! so my aunt refused to sew.

Baju #2: Bought the orange chiffon. bought lining. My aunt sew it. and i realised that... I DIDNT BUY THE CLOTH FOR MY KAIN!!! the bottom is supposed to be orange lace. Where is it? AT THE SHOP OF COURSE! Or maybe, still in france. So i have the top and no kain!i might buy it... soon i think. lol!

i swear, this has to be the most scatter brain shit ever!

Yes, i'm in a mood for rants. HEEE~!

P.s: since blogger is blocked, i'm doing this post from multiply.

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I'm too busy. Everything is on hold. I've not touched on secret project. I'm sorry but I think I will only resume after Hari Raya. There's too many things happening this Hari Raya, i can't seem to keep track of everything.

I've been busy the whole week. I didnt realise it was just a week away from Hari Raya and then i realised i still have not done a lot of things. The hari raya cookies are not as varied as the previous years. The irony? This year, i think my house will be more packed than before...

Anywayz, this is the only thing i entertained myself with today... TIRED~! I havent done anything. I've not checked my emails even... *faints*

And i look like Penelope Cruz? WAHAHAHHA~!!! That was hilarious.

%1

Barriers have been put up. Beware one and all! You can hear it in the wind, the animals are running for cover.

War is drawing near.

Ok. Maybe i am exaggerating.

Barriers have been put up indeed. A new protocol has been passed.

EVERYTHING'S LIKE BLOCKED IN THE OFFICE!
i can't stand it. Please la. So paranoid for wat?!

I came back from MC to find that i cant access BLOG from work! like wat the hell?!?!?!

The one outlet i use religiously to let out my frustrations at work is GONE! This spells DOOM! Seriously.

And if your PC can access google, then that means, you wont be able to access yahoo. Even my doramail is blocked. My only means of communicating urgent msgs to people is gone. SHIT LA!!

and seriously, pple have to stop pushing the blame to others. Its pissing me off. BIG TIME.

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My nose is still blocked. My fever doesnt seem to be surfacing. I feel lethargic. And my mom says that i'm breathless even though I dont feel it. Maybe its coz i'm too used to it.

Mild lack of air doesnt really make much of a diff to me. LOL!

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Things i need to get by or before hari raya:

1. Orange Lace
2. Heels
3. Bag?
4. Compact to replace the one i broke
5. His Baju Melayu

Things that is not so important but will need me to get (no deadline)
1. Hot Pink Thai Silk

--------------------------------------------

Its about a week more to that hawaiian vacation.

I couldnt see yesterday night. My eyes was burning. I resorted to putting ice on my eyes. The ice didnt last very long though. At least it managed to put me to sleep.

I woke up at 5am with a sharp pain in my right ear and my jaw, sore. I went in search of ice and managed to fall back asleep.

I've been surviving the whole morning but it seems that i'm deteoriating slowly. My eyes are in pain again. The light is being a bitch.

My head hurts so bad. I'm tired from squinting.

My nose seems to be training for the Standard Chartered marathon and my throat's as dry as Sahara Desert.

I looked at the calendar and realised that its 2 weeks from Hari Raya. This can't continue to happen every single year!!!

I'm doing my work in auto-mode... I have a really strange feeling I might get my full blown fever tonight and be on MC tmr.

But I have rehearsals tmr. I have not been attending rehearsals. I've been leaving the office late and all I wanna do is go home str. after that.

I really don't know what to do anymore. It seems as though i've not been making correct decisions this past few weeks. ARGH.

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Bie, I miss you so much! Take care and hopefully i'll see you soon!

I have 2 words about my current situation, environment and whatever else...


FARKED UP!

That's all folks.

Renovation in Progress.
I'm revamping my life.

I feel like vomitting blood rite now! argh!!

Haiz.

but on a lighter note, i really do feel like vomitting. Yayness.

Mess. I hate mess. Messy things piss me off. I don't care if its your table that's messy; that's a person's personal space. If something else is beginning to be too messy, trust me, i might just do something to revamp it whether you like it or not.

I don't need to be rushed. I don't like something rushed. I don't like something that is done for the sake of it having to be done.

Plan. Think. Create. Organize. Mould. Beautify. Edit. Confirm. Precision. Time.

----

Sick and tired of it that I can't wait for it to end. I hope its the right thing to do. Trapped is an understatement as to what i'm feeling rite now.

I'm terrified to even think of other possibilities. Thinking about it makes me feel trapped all over again. Only god knows what i've been through these past 9 months there. I've never talked about things. I've never brought myself to complain till recently. But even then, i make even the worst scenario sound good.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I still allow myself to see the good in some?

"We can't blame others for the things they have yet to do" A line from a storybook struck a cord in me. I'm not trying to be some saintly nun but I do agree to that line and i've realised that i've believed in that my whole life.

I did come to a conclusion a few days ago that i will not fall in another trap even if i'm in the deepest financial trouble. I will find other ways of earning. That is how terrified I am at the possibility of falling into another trap.

I've always got myself out of things. I've survived all these while.

But...

I'm confused rite now. The thought of it frightens the shit out of me. Blame it on bad experience. Yes. That. But i'm not prepared to take another leap of faith as of now.

Just as freedom is drawing near, that suddenly made me feel as though a wall was put right in between. Its like as though a death sentence has been given to me just as i thought i've cleared my name of a crime.

I'm not rejecting anything. I'm considering things with an open mind but its difficult when the protective shell surrounding me rite now seems so comfortable and familiar and the prospective smell of the salty breeze is no doubt welcoming.

And I'm not willing to give up that Hawaiian dream. Not just yet. Even if I'm just seeing it from the hermit's shell at the moment.

OMG. I'm at work and this page has been blank since morning! and now?

The office is currently in a frenzy. 90% of our mails goes out today. So ya. As you can imagine, everyone's running around.

Time Check: 4.13pm.

and i have yet to fill it in with anything.

Rite now. the one thing that i am currently complaining about is.... CLARENCE.

Clarence. My new found idiotic sparring partner. Yes, i think if he has a blog and is blogging about yesterday's training session, i think he would call me idiotic as well.

Farking violent can.

My both arms are tender from the whacking, my back has a mark rite across, my arms looks like as though i'm abused, my neck is bruised, my stomach has a blue black rite across it, my shoulder blade has bruises to, my elbow is swollen, my left side is basically like as though i've been to jail and gotten the caning sentence and the other casualty?

The palm of my right hand which is currently swollen with a tinge of purple at my thumb area.

Fuck and he says i'm violent?

I won him countless times yesterday and i get this kinda bruises, which means that, i've escaped the bulk of his whipping.

Yesterday was like a clash of metals, whipping sounds were heard coming from both sides and sparks were flying. yes. Its orange. i saw it too.

The worst hit was when he whacked my hand and caught my glove, hit my palm, yes, OFF TARGET, the pain was so bad that i unconsciously dropped my sword and retreating from him as he continued the attack and managed to hold my sword again and block him

and i thought,

That's it man... my blade broke. Confirm!

Thank god, it didnt!!! i would have made him get me the gold blade if he did break it yest! ARGH!

I was so pissed la yest. REALLY DAMN PISSED!

He hit so hard that his blade flicked into my mask and hit the back of my head... and it happened 3 times. Cb.

Do that for wat fuck?!

I was really trying hard not to cry la by then. The pain was so bad i was tearing!

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The other person that has been bullying me at the office is....

CHRISTOPHER MARK SHEPHERDSON.

He should be grateful that his name's mentioned here. *rolls eyes* HE AHHHH... alamak~!

He's the intern from tp. Remember the interview i mentioned few months ago? Yup. that one.

Send email also can spell my name wrong sia... that one really never die before lor! he doing a corporate video thing for the company and he use all my ugly pictures inside there la... REALLY NEVER DIE BEFORE~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*throws orange patent files in his direction*

That one ah... nvm nvm... i shall make him do more. HA. *evil laughs*

Now? He has upgraded to taking my eeyore during lunch and goes around talking in eeyore's voice or he will either thake my eeyore, stand at my cubicle and my eeyore will start waving while he do thee eeyore voice which, seriously, he has already perfected.

i swear i'm confused.

Haiz. This is tedious la. I'm beginning to feel very "oh shit" you know. Like what if i did something wrong? hmmmm..

I have training later. Have a new sparring partner later! Which means i have 2hrs worth of training. Shite.

Tralalalalalalala............

And no. I have not been able to fence like that. At least not yet. As in not hoping around that high before.

WHEEEEEEEEEE~!

I think i'm gonna be turning blind at this rate.

Strengths can't be found in similarities, it can be found in differences.

I'm so tired today that my brain is not really functioning. Seriously.

I'm meeting them later. What shall i eat what shall i eat!?!? lol!!!

I havent been updating here... but then again, there's really nothing much to update. I'll post up photos soon though.

oh shucks its gonna be 6~!

I'm wrapping up. Shall update later.

So remember last saturday? I had a really really long saturday? Yup. Ended up going for the Alumni Gathering really late. And who's the other person who spent the entire sat with me???

Give up?

Ladies & Gentlemen....

PRESENTING TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

My Boyfriend.

WAHAHAHHAHAHA~!!!!!!!!!!

And who's the photographer?

Yours truly of course! LOL!!

More photos after this post yo! I swear these are blackmail worthy! lol!!!

Its the 2nd day of fasting month and its raining cats and dogs outside!

I REALLY WANNA SLEEP ALREADY!

The temperature is driving me crazy. I'm like even more hungry now than ever lor!!!! WAAAAAAA~!!!

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Yest has to be one of the most piggish days ever! I was supposed to go training but i left office early enough to go home first to break fast before going training.

I did the following:

I reached home.
Waited to break fast.
Went to eat.
Lie down. (That was about 8pm)
SMS my coach that i wanna postponed training.
SMS my darling.
Waited for his reply.
Wait.
Wait.
Half Asleep.
My mom asked me to follow her to Shop & Save.
I just nodded but did not budge.
Wait.
Wait.
Fell asleep in the process and only woke up at 2am.
Washed face.
Went back to my bed.
Found my phone.
Found msg.
Replied a really late reply.
Toss & Turn.
Fell asleep.
Grandmother woke me up to have breakfast.
Went to eat.
Dragged myself back into the room.
Fell asleep.

Woke up at 8 and realised that i'm late for the umpteenth time.

I've been to quite a number of working places in my short life. But, i've never faced one as the current one i'm at. I've went through 3 fasting months while working so far.

When I was an intern, the officers took great care in not eating in during fasting month. They eliminate any form of food from sight. They even tried not to munch in our presence.

Last year, in the lawfirm where i was working, there was only 2 muslim legal secretaries. The rest of the secretaries locked themselves in a room during lunch if they happened to eat in and my ex-lawyer, will sneak in food and close the door everytime he lunches in during fasting month. Even though he tries not to lunch in so often during that period.

Now?

*shrugs*
Each to their own i suppose.

What does it mean really when you can no longer wake up in the mornings to get to wherever you're supposed to be?

What does it mean really when you can no longer be bothered about going to where you're supposed to go?

What does it mean really when all you can think off is to just stay home and not go anywhere everytime the alarm rings for you to get up?

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I'm currently staring at my PC but i dont seem to be registering whatever's on it and also my fingers dont seem to be flying across the keyboard.

This weeks is just a bad week. I'm not in the mood to do anything.

OH YA! Before i forget, to all muslims,

HAPPY FASTING~!

Today's the first day and I have fencing later! wow. How could i forget that its fasting already this Thursday?! and the first day too!!! haizzzz...

I'm actually taking this month to look deep within myself and yes, I am prepared to go through anything.

Especially after that day's conversation, i know i'm not the only one facing it. I know the fears are not one-sided. I appreciated that day's conversation, at least I know and i'll definitely erase all kind of paranoia from my head...

I'm sorry for worrying you at one point. HEE~!

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Dear God,

Can I ask for forever?

Routined. Repetitive. Boring.

I have no other words to describe it.

I had one of the longest Saturdays of my life this weekend. I think Mel would agree to that.

Met the rest in the morning at Arts House... After that the both of us walked around for awhile before Mama called and we had to go home to collect the bread to be sent over to my cousin's house.

Why do i have to send it over? Well, coz there was a Kenduri Arwah (My grandfather's death anniversary) at my cousin's place and i already told my mom that i have Alumni Gathering at TP later on...

So she gave me a simple task, to send the bread and show my face and then leave.

But things got a little complicated the moment we reached my cousin's place. I realised that my dad was there... and for the first time, no one was absent for this.

Everyone was there!

We managed to get to TP later on... and we stole azi's cammie and camwhored!!! wheeeeeeee... can't wait for pics!!

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I know it was totally unexpected, impromptu... that's the reason why i was guilty. Coz, you never expected to have to follow me there. You never expect to meet my extended family, especially not that day... I felt bad that you have to go through it, even though nothing bad happen... but i think you know what i mean rite?

At the same time, i know its a little selfish of me, but i'm really grateful that you were there with me that day. Very very grateful. I felt blessed, especially at how patient you were. I cannot help but smile everytime I think about Saturday.

Thank you dear.

P.s: My nephew was totally taken to you. Cuteness. But i think, its not only Ibrahim. heeee...

Flight MH630 that flew to Sabah on 1st September 2007 left Changi Airport as scheduled.



The 2 and half hours flight made me bored after a while. So thank god, i took Mama's camera with me... Or else i would just die. Seriously, I started to camwhore. Below are just SOME of the photos that i've taken once i'm done with lunch and after i've finished reading CLEO... lol.




Traveling alone does have its perks. LOL! The purpose of the trip was to go to Sabah for my cousin's graduation. So here are some of the photos.



I got her a Forever Friends Bear for her graduation. lol! Cute rite?! CONGRATS MAWARNI, for getting your degree! lol.. Degree in Geology.






She's my bitching buddy, my invisible sister and everything else. I know we would do anything for the other... Just like how i got my last minute ticket to Sabah and when i was there, rescued her from the misery of the shared room with her friends and escorted her over to Hyatt in Sabah which was more of a walk in reservation. Seriously ah, things i do for that girl... priceless.

I was deprived of technology and the internet. It was UBER BORING! lol. But anything for a cousin, no? lol. My mom constantly called me when i was there, coz she missed me too much...

And then someone asked me whats taking my cousin sooo long to graduate and when am i getting back... So no matter how much it was denied, i was missed huh? LOL! *evil grins*



So i went back home. And of course, i started taking photos again. It was tiring. But I was glad to be coming back. I missed my mom and my friends here. I kept thinking what was everyone doing back home during the weekends.

I missed Singapore. 4 days away. Just 4 days. tsk tsk tsk...

I left my heart in Singapore.

When for Fencing yesterday. I had fun!! LOL! Wheee~! That was the first time after a long time i lasted for quite some time. I actually lasted! I'm so proud of myself and to think that I'm not aching today! heeeee...

Saw the SMU team's posters with really nice quotes on it. Very apt.

Coach nagged at me for MIA-ing... He's a very observant fellow. Very very observant. Thanks Coach!

"When a man has tasted defeat, only then can he reached into the deepest part of his soul to find what it takes to bring out that last ounce of energy needed to win when the match is even."

I guess, I did learn my lesson the hard way.

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"Strengths can't be found in similarities, it can be found in differences"

That's the reason why I cherish my friends and you.

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"Concentration is the ability to think of absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary"

That is something i need to re-master.

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"Do the one thing you think you can't do"

Lose Weight. Its achievable. Yup yup.
Get rich. Its achievable as well. Yup. yup.

Believe. Believe in myself, I must.

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I realised that one of my colleagues is a very sensitive person. She observes and she cares even though she only passes in front of me when she wants to go into the boss's room.

I was speechless.... and touched.

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SC ah... I have to do something that i havent been doing for the past 9 months. Like farking hell lor.

I did not sign up for this. Never has. Never will.

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I'm sure many is curious to know my take on my current job scope....

Well, let me give you an insight then...

BORING~! LOL!!

But i can't judge too soon. I'm only a day and a half old in here. But so far? Things are squarer than square. There's standard procedures for everything even though you could have done certain things instead of some things. sheesh.

And the bold and underline is driving me crazy. *rolls eyes*

Boredom has no cure. Period.

I'm bored.

Today has been a boring day.

I went on half day. YUP YUP!

sadded. I still arrived late. Can't really be bothered. I just wanna sleep. AHHAHAHAAH!

Shouldnt have come in just now. Now, i'm gonna leave soon before I'm late for fencing.

After being deprived from basic technology and torn from any means of familiarity of the
world, for a few days...

I'm back with a vengeance.

I will therefore upload various pics once I get them and also, state my ecapades.

Going on a trip by yourself is definitely something that is quite lonely but nevertheless addictive. When I say addictive, it hints on how often I might just do it in the future.

The journey on the plane was long enough for you to finish your magazine, eat lunch, sleep, camwhore by yoursef with the stewards grinning at you and shaking their heads when they walk pass.

But of course, that didnt stop me from doing what I do best.

Reaching the destination was a relieve... The journey wasnt exactly smooth. Blame the weather. Storm clouds are not the best of things for a plane to go through when its airborne. If you ever wondered sitting in a water bottle and someone shaking it from side to side...

Then by all means, take a plane on a rainy day. I can guarantee you that your curiousity will never resurface. But then again, if you like a roller coaster, you wouldn't mind a thing. lol!

I know i'm independant, but i never knew how independant i was. Traveling by yourself, no matter how short the trip is, you definitely learn alot.

I came to a conclusion that if my mom were to throw me in timbaktu for a week, I have a strange feeling that i'll definitely survive.

But of course, the heartache is when you start missing people and no matter who your company is, you'll just end up thinking what are they doing back at home. Yup yup.

And another thing, I definitely wanna attend my own convocation. Its definitely a memorable memorable day. Irregardless of whether any of your relatives, siblings or parents are around.

I hope I will actually have that day.

Now, i have to go... i'm going out to settle some stuff. Toodles~!