The One of A Kind

One thing i've never fancied was having an audience.

Some know of this fact and others, i think, remained unaware of this audience thingy. Papparazzis. I don't appreciate it really.

But somehow, it became something quite inevitable in my life.. even though I wondered how and why. I'm not overestimating my importance to anyone or boasting my popularity coz I know i'm none of the above.

Is it fun to talk about other people? Is it? Really? Is it really fun to keep track of others' life and later on talk about it like the next episode of some drama series?

I also don't need rumours to start flying around. I really don't need it. Sometimes I really wonder what is it that I have done wrong... Or maybe my existence really do piss you off?

Nobody knows of the emotional rollercoaster I'm going through and I don't expect anyone to understand it either. Many won't see things the way I do, many won't understand the things I say and why I say it.

I've never begged before. But it seems as though i've done alot of begging this time round. I've sucked in my pride, as though it will really matter as I don't really feel much anymore. And i'm gonna do it again.

While I appreciate certain parties' concerns, I don't need it. Especially vindictive, mean and practically annoying. Yes, certain things happened under certain circumstances. But i still do love and care. So it pains me to be reading certain things, especially when I find it rather unfair.

I exist you know? So don't act as if I don't and say things as if I don't exist.

Just put yourself in my shoes for once. Never once have I tried to hurt anyone and liked seeing anyone being hurt or accused with mean remarks, thrown in their way. When I'm angry, yes, I say things I mean... with also my name attached to it.

I never liked cowardice. Not now, not ever. So please, its been hard. It still is. So just stop.

Please.