Not fretting... I'm just hoping I could stay here much longer! Praying really hard for that! yup yup!
2011 have been filled with smiles and tears here's to those who have been there for me throughout 2011. My mom who has been my pillar of support when I feel like giving up. Mel for putting up with my tears, tantrums, random nonsensical moments and still making me smile despite me getting on his nerves sometimes. Not forgetting Deena who's been there for me despite the distance.
Hoping 2012 will begin with a positive note. =) *bites nails*
I was blog hopping the other day and I came across a really old entry from Diary of a reformed Elitist.. but this really struck me.
Here, have a read! Diary of A Reformed Elitist
It carved a smile on my face... especially when I remembered the Personal Statement I recently submitted.
This is my personal statement.
"Fortunately for me I have always
known what I wanted in life. However, I've never had enough confidence to seize
an opportunity. Being an only child, it is definitely an odd personality trait
in comparison to most only child, I tend to have a trail of "what
ifs" residing within me. My mom has been the 1 person in my life that I
look up to and admire. My parents divorced when I was 11. Being a single parent
in an Asian country, I saw how difficult things were for her even though she
never showed it to me. But I was not blind to the brave front and the snide
remarks of our Asian counterparts that she had to put up with. That was when I realized
she is living for me and I started being afraid of disappointments and
rejections. Perfectionists me emerge in my daily life, it definitely greatly
contributed in my career and curricular activities that I was involved in as I
did not want to make a mistake especially one that would cause me any
unnecessary financial burdens. I have always wanted to be a lawyer and wanted
to apply for law school fresh out of high school but was stopped by mom. I was
too young she said. I never understood why, nevertheless I still listened to
her and took the paralegal route by completing my Diploma. I was exposed into
the legal industry, learnt how different working life was, gained valuable life
experiences and fell even more hopelessly in love with the profession. I rose
quickly as a paralegal for being independent, self motivated and being able to
work under time pressure. As a fencer, I was dedicated to winning as I compete
privately domestically and internationally. As a theatre practitioner, I was
precise with regard to every light, every word, every scene, every movement and
every sound. I was obsessed with being the best to make up for things I lack
in.
Few years passed and I decided
that it was time for me to take the next step: university degree. I applied for
law degree in various Australian universities and received a counter-offer
instead: Bachelor of Arts with the choice of transferring into the law degree
with the required grades. My first academic rejection. However, I accepted it
hoping that I will be able to do the law degree in my 2nd year of uni.
Unfortunately, due to administrative issues, I missed that opportunity. Not
once in my life have I ever thought that I will be doing the majors I did in
uni: International Relations and Politics. I was never interested in World
Affairs or Politics and it was a wonderland of mysteries and adventures for me
as I lost myself in a world that I was never familiar with and honestly,
sometimes hated. It broadened my perspective and renewed my angle on global
issues and people that I was either never aware off or simply did not care
about. I stayed on for the full 3years to complete the degree that I thought I
will never do in my life but undeniably have a soft spot for it now.
While Aristotle believed that
"Law is the reason free from passion", I, on the other hand, beg to
differ. My lecturer once told me "Ignorantia Non Excusat", a legal
lingo she drilled into me when I was a law student completing my Diploma.
Ignorance is not an excuse. It was then that I realized why my mom thought I
was too young for the law degree back then. She wanted me to be more aware of
the world we are living in, to understand the people in various environments
and to respect them regardless. She also wanted me to have the confidence to be
able to stand up for myself and make a change. Even though I was greatly upset
back then but right now I am deeply grateful to my mom for making me wait as I
finally understood the gravity of each action. This is because by being a
lawyer, I will change and touch lives, mine as well as those around me. So here
I am, at 25, a graduate of Bachelor of Arts - International Relations and
Politics putting aside my fear of rejection and what ifs to apply for the law
program in your university as a step closer to achieving my dreams."
Reading it, I can't help thinking... Was I unconsciously harbouring the typical upper class Singaporean mindset? Was I the outcome of a certain social class?
Putting it aside, i'm really hoping that 2012 is gonna surprise me with good news! =)
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