We find it ok if we were to make sarcastic remarks in jest regarding our own race and yet, we find it insulting if a member of the other racial group were to make such a remark about us.
The hard truth is that, we are an extremely young country. A young country that has progressed way beyond its expectations on the platform of the world. We're like an artist; that has grown under the scrutiny of the media and every single action, mistake, and bad decisions has its repercussions. Inevitably, along with expectations come judgement.
We judge. It comes to us as second nature. We judge the decisions of other countries. We judge the actions of our neighbours. We even judge the outlook of our friends. That is just human nature.
Despite what many choose to believe, we pledge ourselves 'as one united people, regardless of race language or religion to build a democratic society based on justice and equality'. we are still far from fulfilling our own national pledge.
Why? Racially and culturally, we have come a long way from where we started... but ultimately, the youthfulness of the nation still cry aloud for everyone to hear.
Among the younger generation, like you and me. We have friends from different racial group that we have grown to care for, extremely fond of, or in some cases: have fallen in love with. Majority of the time, race is no longer an issue amongst us. Sometimes, it still is among the older generations. People wonder why the older generation have to make such remarks when they should be at the mental capacity to think otherwise...
My family has been lucky to have always lived in an area where our neighbours were not Malays. When I meant lucky, i meant that we were allowed to show others who and what we are without judgement. For them to be able to get to know us and change whatever preconceived views they previously had.
But, the truth is... for most of them, growing up they saw the malays as the poorer counterpart of the society. Unable to get an education, giving up on life and giving in to drugs, etc. How were they gonna change their views based on what they grew up to see? Further, those with parents who have seen such things, will naturally tell their children to stay away?
I mean, wouldn't you? tell your children to stay away from drug addicts and alcoholics and lowly educated people who just sat around doing nothing all day. Even though all these exists among the poorer people in each race, unfortunately, it became a starking stereotypical picture that is prominent in ours.
My family has been very open about inter racial relationships (unfortunately, not everyone is as welcoming).. Mainly coz, we're from a very diversed ancestral line. However, my IC states that I am Malay. And that is what I identify with. I'm Malay, and proud of it. <- even though that is not always the case with some Malays. Some are embarrassed to be Malays coz of the very same reason our chinese or indian friends said.
I have been in an inter racial relationship.. and it ended mainly due to his parents being against me. For who I am. A malay girl. To them, Malays are poor and stupid. Definitely a huge insult to my family and I. But these still happen in the society we live in... It is hard to change the views of someone who has spent their whole lives thinking that way. You can't change the way your mother or grandmother thinks. Especially when they have thought that way for a good 30 - 40years. You definitely can't change a perception set in stone overnight.
Growing up, i have always fought to prove people wrong. to show them that i am not just any kind of melayu. I am a different malay. One that came from a different upbringing with different perspective and different dreams in life. And yet, sometimes, it felt like a never ending battle. But how many of us are like this? Fighting to make a difference. Striving to change the world. Hoping for a day where views will change.
The people I know, my other malay friends... they're different. They have high flying jobs. Live in higher end of the property market. Excelling in their studies and careers. Strive to make a difference in our society. Unfortunately, they are but a handful of malays. For every step forward one tries to make, sometimes, people do stuff that make the whole community take 2 steps back.
Let's be honest here. Even if you're telling me that you've never made a racist remark regarding another race. Don't tell me you've never made one regarding your own... There are situations where you just go "Oh. how typical.. What do you expect of s/he? they're that kind of (insert race) what." I'm gonna be candid here. Even I have been guilty of that.
While some remarks are definitely uncalled for... the truth is.. things hasn't changed among each community for others to eliminate the possibility of saying hurtful things about you.
I mean, if things have noticeably improved... people wouldn't still think that we are poor, stupid or lazy, would they? *shrugs*
sometimes, it takes a situation that gets out of hand for the community to realise that racism still exist among us. We have just been subtle about it and survived by being ignorant of the obvious... Until, of course, a slip like this.
While I do get put off by the remarks made by people out of frustration:- who make it seem as though they're living out of an era when my grandmother first stepped onto that island, where vegetables were 5cents a kilo. I tend to wonder, were they left behind at some point in our progress towards the future? Are their world still in black and white while ours have arrived in 3D? *sighs* (even then, i tend to wonder, in which year was a wedding ever 50bucks? i know very well my parents spent a bomb and so did my grandparents...)
Unfortunately, its not just us. It exists in every country.
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