Throwback to the last couple of weeks...

I used to be a serial blogger. Blogging about fashion, food, and everything else in between!

Now, i'm a serial instagrammer and facebooker... O how much has changed...

Can't believe its 2 weeks from the end of semester. 2015 really did flew by in a blink of an eye... My April and May has been a whirlwind of activities.

Being the Convener of the Flinders University Multicultural Festival for the 2nd festival in a row has been an adventure and no doubt... an honour. I do not deny that I had to reduce my sleeping hours in my already busy schedule but lending a hand to this festival will always be something I am ready for.

I do not deny that FUMCF will always have a soft spot in my heart. Creating it 2 years ago to increase campus culture and student engagement while minimising the gap between international students and local students was the driving force behind this project. I wanted an event where students could just be themselves, have a good time and befriend fellow unimates.

Each organizing committee is different from the next and I do not deny that they are both special in their own way. I'm always so grateful for the support they've given me in spite of their busy uni schedules.

Then there was Melbourne trip. This year's CISA National Conference will be in Melbourne. Heading over to Melbourne about 3 weeks ago was interesting. Do not judge me for never being to Melbourne before this despite being in Australia for the last 6years... Meeting up with the rest was always good, catching up on how others have been in the other states, etc.

I also did not give up the opportunity to try out brunch spots after reading about it on a couple of friend's blog. LOL. I can't deny myself the opportunity of staring at picturesque plating of breakfast food...

It was also there that I launched the Equity Through Diversity campaign through my portfolio in tandem with the human rights commission's campaign and drawing inspiration from the Humans Of New York; only difference is that I'm hoping to catalogue and showcase the entire International Students Community in Australia. So for that... I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that it will be well received!

There's so many things left to do and with my term coming to an end in July, I am still toying with the idea of continuing... There's a couple of collaborations coming up throughout the year and I am happy and excited about all of it!

All in all, it is only May (coming to the end of it) but I am extremely grateful for all the people I've met in 2015.

Searching for a little something

Sometimes I search for something. Sometimes I don't know what it is. Heck. Half the time I don't know what it is. Where to start. What to do. Where to look. When will it end. When will I find it.

It feels like I'm preparing for a year worth's of handover process. Its like my impending graduation is affecting everyone not just my immediate family members. I see organizations who are not willing to let me off the hook just yet. I see juniors who are craving for my insights, knowledge and contacts.

I like what I'm doing. Oh wth, let me just admit it. Albeit for some of the stupid people I've met, I actually really do love what I do. My involvement with CISA has been nothing but fulfilling to me on a personal level. The people I've met. The stories I've heard. What have I got to complain about? The people, they're amazing. the stories of students. The support people receive as a result of their involvement in this industry.

But I'm tired. I feel like I'm spread thin. I feel like I have so many things to do and my attention is everywhere and I can't concentrate and give my best on that one thing coz I have a million other things to do. Haiz. I wished sometimes that things were different. But would I really wanna change all of this?

And yet. Why is it that sometimes, your life is constantly filled with so many things, so many events, so many people and yet you can't help but feel lonelier than before? Too many things that you can't tell others. You can't share coz its either confidential, or you're afraid that things are boring, or you now sometimes its hard for people to understand. Somtimes, everyday feels like a battle. Everyday feels like time of your years and days that past and you wonder where its been. Sometimes you wonder if you've enjoyed it.

Reality of it, you do enjoy it. But you can't help but wonder why do you delve into a world such as this. Where there will come a time where you feel like you cannot trust anything and anyone. where you wish that your life revolves around something more than just uni and meetings.

You soon realise that no one understands why is it that you wanna go out. Just to spend a random day out that does not revolve around uni and/meetings. Or outings that actually takes place on a random day and not a continuation of your day after Uni. Days that are separate from your already hectic schedule.

You wish. You wish & you wish. You realise that... you're lonelier than before.

Life Decisions

Everyday I hope I won't be a failure to those who have had so much faith in me.

Everyday I try to think positive but I do not deny that there are days where it takes a toll on my conscience.

what am i suppose to do? what am i suppose to decide? what am i suppose to say? oh god.

I wanna extend it but at the same time. I'm just worried about everything else. the money. especially the money.

I'm scared.