Memories. So many memories that she can't seem to erase from her minds. When and how did she gained so many of them she wondered. They're coming around so often these days that she sees them each time she closes her eyes. Odd.
She thought it would ease by now. "Why are you so different?" She searches her mind but nothing came close to an answer.
She has never allowed anyone to break through the walls and reach within. Never allowed to be this way for anyone and yet, here she is, struggling. She'll get over this. No one has to know. No one. Her thoughts and feelings are hers and hers alone. As she penned it all down, she told herself... No one will control this apart from her. No. One.
The memories are hers and hers alone and no one will be able to dictate what is written, what is revealed, what is shown. This is her space.
Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It's the only thing makes us feel alive
It is true that the love one will have for another individual reminds you of how great god is. Reminding you constantly the vulnerability of being human. The hurt. The love. The yearnings. The crack within. The smiles. The softness. The reminder that: No matter how high a wall you've built, stoic and unfeeling, when the right person comes along... you'll take that leap of faith.
A leap that will have collateral damage to the wall you've built. Cracks will start appearing and then one day, a key appears. Bright and shiny. Small and glittery. Floating just beyond your reach as it moves towards him. One day, it drops... into the palm of his hand.
Just like that, the years disappeared as she found herself in a whole new territory. Fear. Terrified of bringing the walls down. Despite it all, she took the second leap of faith.
Coz in his eyes, she saw everything she wanted and within that she found courage to reach out. He provided that... courage. Comfort. Solace.
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time forever's frozen still
A picture perfect photograph as a memory stored away in the corners of her mind. So many things have happened since, and yet, that picture perfect photograph of a memory remianed the same. Unchanged by time. Untouched by moments. Each beautifully captured and stored. Almost real. As though she could feel them just by reach her hand out.
so you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home.
Love she has in abundance; especially from her family. She never lacked of it, despite their differences sometimes. but that's just family, you know? Despite constantly being surrounded, she likes her space. her time. her boundaries. Caught up in her own thoughts most of the time, she struggles internally to make sure that everyone is taken care of. She tries to ensure that challenges will be faced and won. But she wanted her person. Her person that will have her back. Her person that will be by her corner. Her person that is her own personal sun. Her person that will be there when she turns to reach out her hand, it'll be accepted. A person that is her home and she... his.
Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul.
And it's the only thing that I know, know
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of you
Hm, and it's the only thing we can take with us when we die
It is true that love can heal. As she looks around; the support she's had, the love she's received... in abundance. How can she deny that love won't be able to mend her soul? She's healing everyday despite the scars that is slowly forming from the wound. It is visible, but she trust that it will fade one day. She won't be the same. Every experience a lesson. It'll mould you, your perspective, personal principles and embrace all of you to be a better version of you.
Hm, we keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts were never broken
And time's forever frozen still
But she knows... she'll be better as the days passes. As memory floats in and out in her consciousness...
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
And if you hurt me
That's okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go
Wait for me to come home.
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come Home
She also knows... that, with god's will, one day some one will find her. That someone will love all of her and her flaws and tell her:-
Oh, if you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul
And if you hurt me
Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go
When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost back on Sixth Street
Hearing you whisper through the phone
"Wait for me to come home."
And she'll reply with a little smile on her lips... "yes love, I'll see you soon." She'll hear the click on the other end of the phone. She'll put it aside, stands up with a little bounce in her step, her heart fluttering as she waits for the familiarity of his presence to be by her side again.
Yup. One day.
Till then, she'll heal for the better.
