New year, new day

Is it really? New year, new day? so what are my thoughts this coming new year? tons, really. Couple that with a heighten frustration with regard to service. Service. Yes, the service that a university cater to international students. Its driving me crazy. I've been waiting and waiting and I have half a mind to tell myself to just forget about it. Maybe its really not happening for me.

I was looking at other things though... I really want to have an overseas experience rite.. so i was looking through the visa, immigration and citizenship department. Trolling through their website and catching a glimpse of everything that I could think off. Skilled Migration Visa. Its a five year visa that could act as PR. Will allow me to study, work and live here.

But do i really want to postpone the degree? I'm not really sure anymore. I really need time to myself. Without anyone constantly asking me about it.


Might sound odd to you. Especially when I'm living here on my own with nothing to bother me about, pretty much... anything. But I need a break. So just grant me a break and quit asking me about that law degree application, coz at the moment I don't really wanna think about it. I've thought about it enough. more than enough. And i've scared myself more than necessary.

Of reflections and New Years.

Its 2012. wow. time passed by that fast and I am still where I am..

Not fretting... I'm just hoping I could stay here much longer! Praying really hard for that! yup yup!

2011 have been filled with smiles and tears here's to those who have been there for me throughout 2011. My mom who has been my pillar of support when I feel like giving up. Mel for putting up with my tears, tantrums, random nonsensical moments and still making me smile despite me getting on his nerves sometimes. Not forgetting Deena who's been there for me despite the distance.


Hoping 2012 will begin with a positive note. =) *bites nails*

I was blog hopping the other day and I came across a really old entry from Diary of a reformed Elitist.. but this really struck me.

Here, have a read! Diary of A Reformed Elitist

It carved a smile on my face... especially when I remembered the Personal Statement I recently submitted.

This is my personal statement.

"Fortunately for me I have always known what I wanted in life. However, I've never had enough confidence to seize an opportunity. Being an only child, it is definitely an odd personality trait in comparison to most only child, I tend to have a trail of "what ifs" residing within me. My mom has been the 1 person in my life that I look up to and admire. My parents divorced when I was 11. Being a single parent in an Asian country, I saw how difficult things were for her even though she never showed it to me. But I was not blind to the brave front and the snide remarks of our Asian counterparts that she had to put up with. That was when I realized she is living for me and I started being afraid of disappointments and rejections. Perfectionists me emerge in my daily life, it definitely greatly contributed in my career and curricular activities that I was involved in as I did not want to make a mistake especially one that would cause me any unnecessary financial burdens. I have always wanted to be a lawyer and wanted to apply for law school fresh out of high school but was stopped by mom. I was too young she said. I never understood why, nevertheless I still listened to her and took the paralegal route by completing my Diploma. I was exposed into the legal industry, learnt how different working life was, gained valuable life experiences and fell even more hopelessly in love with the profession. I rose quickly as a paralegal for being independent, self motivated and being able to work under time pressure. As a fencer, I was dedicated to winning as I compete privately domestically and internationally. As a theatre practitioner, I was precise with regard to every light, every word, every scene, every movement and every sound. I was obsessed with being the best to make up for things I lack in.

Few years passed and I decided that it was time for me to take the next step: university degree. I applied for law degree in various Australian universities and received a counter-offer instead: Bachelor of Arts with the choice of transferring into the law degree with the required grades. My first academic rejection. However, I accepted it hoping that I will be able to do the law degree in my 2nd year of uni. Unfortunately, due to administrative issues, I missed that opportunity. Not once in my life have I ever thought that I will be doing the majors I did in uni: International Relations and Politics. I was never interested in World Affairs or Politics and it was a wonderland of mysteries and adventures for me as I lost myself in a world that I was never familiar with and honestly, sometimes hated. It broadened my perspective and renewed my angle on global issues and people that I was either never aware off or simply did not care about. I stayed on for the full 3years to complete the degree that I thought I will never do in my life but undeniably have a soft spot for it now.

While Aristotle believed that "Law is the reason free from passion", I, on the other hand, beg to differ. My lecturer once told me "Ignorantia Non Excusat", a legal lingo she drilled into me when I was a law student completing my Diploma. Ignorance is not an excuse. It was then that I realized why my mom thought I was too young for the law degree back then. She wanted me to be more aware of the world we are living in, to understand the people in various environments and to respect them regardless. She also wanted me to have the confidence to be able to stand up for myself and make a change. Even though I was greatly upset back then but right now I am deeply grateful to my mom for making me wait as I finally understood the gravity of each action. This is because by being a lawyer, I will change and touch lives, mine as well as those around me. So here I am, at 25, a graduate of Bachelor of Arts - International Relations and Politics putting aside my fear of rejection and what ifs to apply for the law program in your university as a step closer to achieving my dreams."

Reading it, I can't help thinking... Was I unconsciously harbouring the typical upper class Singaporean mindset? Was I the outcome of a certain social class? 

Putting it aside, i'm really hoping that 2012 is gonna surprise me with good news! =)