Whisperings of the heart

"I miss you."

It whispers softly in this silent night. Whispering through her being that it kept her awake as a tear unconsciously drop from her eyes.

This night more than the other nights. It misses you. It misses you so much that a sharp pang pierced through its wall. So painful, so real and she told her heart to stop. But her heart wouldn't listen. For tonight, her brain wouldn't either.

She forced herself to bed, but as she closed her eyes, images of him so vivid appeared before her. As though he was there.

She could practically hear his voice in her ear. She could even feel the warmth of his hands and the strength of his hugs. She could even hear the beatings of his heart.

On her lids, images of him replaying like a movie reel. His smile. The twinkle in his eyes as he plans to disturb her. And that same twinkle with a slight variation as they converse and he was about to burst into a huge laugh.

Those eyes. The kindness reflected within it always swept her away and into those deep brown pools.

The way his lashes flutter as he reached out for her in his sleep and that smile when his hand found hers as he fell further into slumber.

She stared at him as he slept. That image embedded in her mind as she traces his every feature with her finger memorising each curve, each wrinkle, each contour, each muscle and feel of his warm cheeks against her fingers. The feel of his whiskers between her fingers.

That same image replaying each time she closes her eyes. Oh this heart. This brain. This memory.

"Is this what love really is?"

She wondered to herself as the clock ticks further into the night. It's quarter to 4 in the morning now.

She needs the sleep. But now as she closes her eyes, all she could see is him. Staring at her as she rests. His eyes taking in and remembering everything about her. His fingers playing with her hair. And he whispered...

"I will never forget this. This, you beside me. Like this. This is perfect. It's what i want, always, with you."

His words as if just yesterday appeared in her ear. And she covered her ears.

"No. This is not real. None of this is real. He doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't love me anymore. Stop it. Stop. None of this is real."

She whispered to herself, telling her brain to grasp what is reality. Summoning her rational mind.

"Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Mind over matter."

She stared into darkness. Her heart taking over her rational mind.

It's not letting go tonight, it seems.

"Come back to me!"

This heart never stops pleading in silent. She turns away and grab her pillows as she forces herself to bed.