Its odd really, how one of my most valuable life lessons was learnt when I was lying in bed, witnessing the world spin twice its normal speed and shivering under 2 blankets trying to keep warm on a weekend.
But I would say, nothing is impossible...
Have you ever had flashbacks when you were sick? Either while you were sleeping or when you're awake but you're so dazed that you're more unconscious than conscious?
ya that. I always remember things when I'm sick. Maybe coz only then will my guard be down. Most of them memories that I've kept locked away you know. Maybe some of these memories gives me the strength i need to recover and some just keep me happy while i go through them like an old movie while i'm sick and unable to do anything else anyway.
And these are the things that kept me sane through one of my most upsetting weekends ever.
Why upsetting? Well, it was then that I told myself never to be so sick again that I would need someone's help ever again.
People. People are just sometimes unreliable. Selfish. and mostly they think that the world revolves around them.
And pple ask me why do i find it hard to trust someone. Well its because of that.
For me, friends are not to be taken for granted. That I learnt when I was 11. Friends are those who will stay. Acquaintances are those who stay just because you have the influence, money, brains and desert you when everything goes wrong.
Its funny how A would constantly ask me why I would do almost anything for B. Why is it if I were to ask to choose between A and B. I would definitely choose B.
That's coz, B is someone whom I have grown to trust over the years. Who knows me so well that he doesn't really have to ask much to know what's wrong. B is surprisingly one of the 4 people that i have ever broke down in front of in my entire life. When I mean broke down, like literally grow limp and cry. B have always been there by my side, taking my side or not agreeing with me but still take my side but scold me later on. B is 1 out of 3 person that I could say anything I want, filtered or unfiltered. B checks on me constantly when B knows i'm sick even though there is nothing else B could do. B calls or messages when B realises that its been that long since we last spoke or meet up. B may not be the easiest person to understand but B genuinely cares in B's own way even though he may show it differently.
Unlike A who have countlessly shown over the period of these recent 6 months that she just needs me to be there for her through her problems, sleepless nights, loneliness, adapting, needing to adjust to be independent and have proven to be unable to help when i finally need help, i.e. saturday when i needed to go to the doctor, coz surprise, she was SUDDENLY busy on the day and time agreed upon the previous day.
So does A really wanna know why I would choose B over her? I doubt it.
Coz unlike A, I know how to value my friends. There's 4 people in my life that I would trust my life with and B is one of those people. Beside my mom and these people, B is one of the people who I would stake my life for.
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