I'm back from Australia.

Its been 2 days. I'm flying off again. Soon.

If you ask me how was it? Did I love it there? Hate is a strong word. So maybe, more like.. on the fence.

I'm not looking forward to it and I have no idea how I'm gonna survive there. I just hope I can. I mean I know I can its just a matter of time.

People have asked me did i regret? Well, no. I did not. I'll give up anything for the need to get my degree. even if it means me shipping myself to a third world country. so ya.

thank god, that's not the case for this.

hahaha... but ya. you know wat i mean. I want it. I need it. More than anyone realise. Especially after everything.

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For months, I have always asked myself, what wrong have I done in my life to anyone for me to deserve whatever that has been happening.

Yesterday, I still ask myself the exact same thing.

I have yet to get the answer.

Even after constantly being out in the open, a perfect prey for any predator. To be ripped open and stabbed. Over and over again. My head still tells me to stay. And my heart willingly seconds it.

We've destroyed so much but we're still holding strong. Is it really worth it for you?

I'm reporting live from Australia.

Yes. I'm in Australia rite now.

First impression of Australia: oooook.

First impression of Brisbane: I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. I'll complain when i'm back. my batt is dying and my charger is around but my universal adapter does not have the plug they use. yippeeness.com

My mom saw brisbane and her first thought was to transfer me out of Australia by the end of the year. LOL!

First impression of Adelaide: Thank god the state has senses.

I can get use to it here. yes yes.

I had my Sec Sch Class Gathering yest nite.

The most interesting ever~ Me is waiting for photos! Actually to tell you the truth, i missed school sometimes despite the annoying teachers and backstabbing girls.

anywayz, there were obviously people who matters that exist. so ya. LOL!

one of it was my best friend has always been one of my closest friend. Sin Ni. Woman! you better meet me again soon!

Anywayz, friends (esp close ones) have things in common and this is one of it. I hope she wont kill me for cutting and pasting it on my blog from hers.

I saw some non-prescriptive glasses and I started to try them on to satisfy my childhood desire to wear glasses and look intellectual. I love geeky boys. They are so smart that they are so cute.

I think only deena won't understand the above! LOL~ see! even Sin Ni understands! That is btw one of the pulling factor in a guy for me... lol!

Number 4: I wanna get a boyfriend!

It took a while for me to decide the right verb for the subheading.
I wanna find a boyfriend! - Sounds tiring.
I wanna keep a boyfriend! - He is not a pet.

Blonde-ness lies deep within the clique~ WAHAHAH~! Well, at least. someone has admitted she is looking! so ya. I'm sure you'll find a really great guy. He better be great of he has alot of unhappy friends to face and fear. *cues lightning and thunder*

Koosmangat!

I down here mcm kueh pau or angku kueh! whichever it is. both also fat fat. Starchy starchy. Then. People like having fun annoying me kan?

OMG. i swear i am so bloated it is not funny. And pple have to stop calling me to ask me whether i have gained weight or not!

People so long never call. then call to ask me if i have gained weight or are they hallucinating. Babi keluak betol~!

Then when i say maybe i have i dunno. Coz I am definitely feeling the bloated-ness. I blame of the blocked nose that comes and goes since New Year.

You know what they ask me? How did that happen?

EH HALO! YOU ASKING ME HOW I GAIN WEIGHT?! Use your brain la. You tell me how pple gain weight? eat rite? bloody hell.

And have i been eatin excessively? Nope. actually i have not been eating much. No appetite also lor!

In the words of my grandmother (accent seems to change and totally reminds me of my great grandmother): "Koosmangat Dee~! Aper la kau buat nie! Mcm pau! pakai la bengkong!

She has resorted to asking me to wear a corset. sheesh.

OMG. I FEEL LIKE KILLING SOMEONE RITE NOW.

You're arrogant, childish and i was never interested! YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A WASTE OF MY TIME. even though it was an acquaintance made under the weirdest of circumstances! THERE IS SUCH THING AS BEING POLITE OKAY?!

I'm a different kinda girl. People should know that by now.

Deena, last year, that night at MOS... remember? some things just wont leave me alone lor. cb.

so not worth it lor! MEN! bleargh~!

i'm annoyed. yes, VERY ANNOYED! Tengah sakit hati nie!

PLS LOR IF YOU THINK YOURE SO EFFING SORT AFTER THEN BY ALL MEANS LA! DONT NEED TO GET ME INVOLVED RITE?

My interests does not dwell itself on you just like how my feelings have always been for someone who matters. *gasp* You're not that someone!

You're like that speck of dust. Tiny, unimportant and has no impact on my life whatsoever!

AND I CANT BELIEVE I JUST WASTED AN ENTIRE BLOG ENTRY ON THIS. Sheesh. too bad everyone is asleep. or else.. i would have called to complain!

Goodbye to you my trusted friend.

I have cleverly spoilt the letter 'I' on my laptop keyboard. Sheesh. I thought something was stuck underneath it so I pulled the letter out as I pulled out the key on any normal days where things get stuck.

But yesterday was different. I think i pulled it out a little too hard! coz I can't seem to put it back anymore! its jutting out! and when i stare at it closer, i realised that... one of the hook is no longer there~!

Now, where am I suppose to find a replacement key?!

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I expected this day to come. Sooner or later.

I will no longer be needed once a replacement is found. I knew that.

yes. yes. *silence*

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Can people please answer the phone when I call?
Can people just reply my messages?
Can my cousin please come back?

I promise. I will no longer disturb you all once i'm in Australia. I promise. All I ask is for someone to entertain me as of now. that's all. I'm not asking for much. Just someone to be there to comfort me. that's all.

I've never asked for anything before. This is my only request. and its just for another 30days. that's all.

I really don't know who to turn too. I really dont.

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We had joys, we had fun.
We had seasons in the sun.

With 2008 ending right in the middle of the week, and allowing 2009 to take over in completing the week. I noticed the significant of that. As i sit here by the river to take the sights in (its practically empty at 6pm on weekday at esplanade. Did anyone realised that?) and typing this out, it hit me that this brand new year was not presented to me as a brand new chapt but a continuation of what was..

And it is beginning to be more obvious as the year begins to unfold itself. I did not put a reflection of '08 up. Looking back, i was never that happy before. Rather, contented. That word would be more apt.

'08 was hard. Definitely one of the hardest since my parents divorced.