Prayers from 10,000 miles away...
I pray that you will wake up soon to see the smile on the faces of your loved ones. I pray that you will wake up soon to ease the worry in their minds.
I'm not there, but that doesn't mean I don't know about this.
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This is just a clarification.
If only you read this blog of mine. Only then, you'll know how often i've been disappointed by everyone's actions. I'll never leave quietly. I have nothing to hide from any of you. All I wanted was some support, some assurance and maybe knowing that I have you guys. But it was too much to hope for.
You should know me better than that. I will never leave without saying goodbye. And you should know everyone else much better since you grow up with them; what they are capable off.
I am deemed as unimportant as long as I'm nothing even though they know I've brought so much to the family already. They always have thought of me as the one that will bring everything good to the family, but please... don't reappear once I've gotten what I've always wanted to have.
I did not leave quietly. I was ignored. But let me tell you something, I will return... quietly. Becoz, I don't want sudden association with any of you. Coz I know, then, all of you will return into my vision because of what I will be in the future.
There's no point in having your children to compete with me so that you'll be at the same par with me. They have each voiced out what they wanna be. Never force them to be what they don't wanna be. Success is not measured by which profession or certificate you get but by what you turned out to be by the end of it.
I'm sick and tired of having to constantly prove myself when I know at the end of the day. This is my life. You, have nothing to do with it.
It may sound as if I'm cutting off all ties. But I'll only be staying around those who have stood by me.
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Nur,
I wonder if you read this blog of mine. There are times that it appear as though you do. We both made a promise to each other and you promised me to be something that others here have never been. To not be like any of them. I taught you everything because of what you desperately aimed not to be. So please, go to school. Don't skip school anymore and allow others to think what they have always thought.
I know that you don't keep things from me. You tell me everything and even asked me permission sometimes. Doesn't mean that I'm here and far away from you... You won't have anyone to talk to. Doesn't mean that I won't know and I won't care. If I didn't care, this portion to you will not be posted up. So please. Keep your promise and hold firmly to your dreams. Don't disappoint me the way everyone else there already have.
Love always,
Cik DeeDee.
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Mama,
Happy Birthday. I'm sorry that I did not get to celebrate you turning 50 with you. =) But that doesn't mean I've forgotten about it.
I never wrote it in any of the past few entries coz I was afraid that you read my blog... BUT I hope you like the cake I've ordered to be sent to you! Enjoy!
Lotsa Lurve,
Dee.
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