(warning: long post.)
I didnt realise till the first weekend of the term break that daylight savings is back. lol! long story short i screwed up alot of things... LOL!
You know, alot of things can happen and change in just a matter of days. For example, in just 3 days i have successfully screwed up my body clock to function in synchronization with UK time or US time slots. Maybe i should go find myself a boyfriend in that continent, at least, i can stay up and chat with him.
I've been so tired that I actually fell asleep while eating just now. how piggy-fied was that rite? Woke up to find my half empty plate in my hands, put it aside and crawled into bed.
So what screwed up my body clock? my politics of third world states that i've been pulling my hair out for the whole of last week. I handed in late, on monday when deadline was on friday, but i managed to get it in early enough for it to be dated friday. so that's good! You have no idea how relieved I was when I found out about that.
so why was my essay late? coz i stayed up the whole of thurs/fri rite, to complete my essay that was due on friday at 4pm (that's like the standard deadline timings) but at 1130am on friday, i happen to fall asleep and somehow at 5pm i woke up to find myself on the bed and that its already 5.
You have no idea how pissed off I was with myself. but now, its all good coz everything turns out alrite in the end. Hopefully, i'll get a decent grade! *prays really hard*
So 2 essays down, i'm gonna start on my Political Economy of Asia Pacific Region soon and the Australian Government and public policy.. can't decide which to start first coz they're due one after the other. bleargh~
That's one thing i've realised. things always have a crazy way of working out in the end. Its just a matter of patience and time. But seriously, who have the time anymore rite? LOL! to be patient i mean.
yeah I realised how alot of things can change with time. 2 weeks can be enough to turn your whole life around. trust me. I know that well enough.
When I was younger, everyone said that when i reach my twenties I will receive my own wedding invitations and friends' weddings that I will have to attend.
Its true. At 24, I realise that girls my age are getting married. While I on the other hand think that its really young for anyone to be married at 24. But I guess, if you're ready, you really have nothing to lose.
Mom asked me when will I get married. Question of the century me thinks. Everyone asks everyone that now...
Truthfully, marriage never crossed my mind before. It crossed at one point about 2years ago, but right now? nah... I don't think I'll be getting married anytime soon... or ever.
Mom is obviously worried at that fact since, I'm the only child and in my old age, i wouldn't have anyone to be with me to share my joys and pains. You know sometimes, i've realised that you will never disappoint yourself.
Sometimes, you realise that men, they disappoint you without them realising it even though they claim that they know you so well. What if marriage life is a series of disappointment? Then how?
So yes, I am afraid. I'm afraid of the disappointments. Of being left behind again. Of finding that someone and then being left behind and alone, no questions asked. Of promises that ceased to matter. Of futures that will never surface.
That, and maybe the fact that i'm not...
I think its gonna take a hell lot out of someone to convince me otherwise again.
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In this facade of that strong girl, lies a really timid soul who finds the need to protect herself from the world.
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