The One of A Kind

Peacefulness comes from within...

Went to the cemetery today...
Purpose: To repaint the grave... And i totally destroyed my jeans coz, the black paint spilled rite on my lap... and i had to go home from Choa Chu Kang to Hougang like that...

And i'm so NOT gonna include my mom in any future painting jobs... I seriously wonder how she managed to get her shoes covered with yellow spots.. and her face.. tsk tsk tsk...

Scene:
It's quiet.. calm.. a place where you can truly be at peace...

While i was painting it... Memories just flowed through my mind like an endless river... I was caught up with my colouring and of course, the memories...

No not the memories of my late grandfather or late uncle.. i've never met them before... so no memories was ever created with them in it... Just memories of my life...

So many things have happened, so many ups and there's even more downs... There were times that i gave up... there were times that i barely manage to pull through...

I've said so many things to people... To people i'm related too.. i'm close with... i'm not so close with *Well if i say anything harsh to pple i'm not close with.. obviously its coz they deserve it... but anywayz,*...

I did so many things in my life... Things that I can never forget... Things that others will never forget... and also actions that have went unnoticed...

I've hurt so many people with my anger, my frustrations, my words, my hatred, my expression, my tone, my views....

Hurt people i'm suppose to respect, hurt people i'm suppose to love, hurt people i'm suppose to cherish...

I'm afraid if i loose everything... Afraid of what the future will bring, scared of ALL the possibilities... Afraid that i'll hurt more people... Afraid that there will be no light at the end of the tunnel... Frightened that there is NO such thing as a happy ending...

You make your own decisions... You be responsible for your own actions... How it is that throughout your life... you make decisions for yourself and it changes your life? everything here is you.. you and you alone.. nothing... just... Alone... One.. YOU...

I look at the grave and amazed how its meant to be for one... Alone... The word seemed to be planted there...

Certain things are just meant to be that way... Nothing will ever change it... I just have to remember... I'm alone... I have to believe in myself and watever i do... I was born to this world as the only child... and when i die... i'll be buried alone...

Dear God,
Forgive me for i have sinned