I'm bored. I'm going home. YAY.

gdrk;jhgj;hsdjk;ghk;sj

That's all.

Good day.

Mid Sems Next Week... *Screams*

My Cover letters are done *Phew~!*

My Defence is still not done yet... *Scratches head*

And i'm extremely sleepy! HELP!

yup! I've been extremely sleepy since last Monday... Oh wait. Nope. I don't think its last monday. Its since school reopens for this new semester. YUP! I'm gonna die.

This week is bad. I haven't been getting enough sleep. I need my bed! I dont care already. I'm gonna rush home from school and SLEEP till the cows come home. *Cue for "Mooing"*

NOPE. I'm not sad or anything. There's nothing wrong with me. The only thing that is wrong is that the cant get enough sleep. YUP. Thats the only thing that is bothering me. I need the bed. SO YA. I'm not sad and there's nothing bothering me. There's nothing to bother me to begin with also.

I just wanna sleep. that's all.

Ok remember how i was happily promising that i'd put up Hid'z b-day pics?

Ya well.. I know its abit late... but wth.. Photos are still photos... besides, its about time i should lighten up my blog which is -to me- is getting utterly depressing... I allow myself to wallow in sorrow for no particular reason.

So here goes. Let me start off with a nice pic of us that i've editted using photo impression. This was before i got the photoshop from hidz.



There was 3 parts to b-day celebration la... We met hidayah at City Hall MRT... And passed her the 1st present... Which is, a soft toy in the shape of an ant from Happy House.



Above is her later on at esplanade hugging the ant.

Part 2 was went we had her choose our dinner place and we limited it to 3 places... Swensens, Pizza Hut OR Fish & Co. Ended up going to pizza hut to indulge ourselves in the Splittza that the 3 of us have been longing for...





And this is OUR B-DAY GIRL.


After dinner, we went to the fountain at Suntec, where Deena attempted to carry me... (Nah. Actually she was just hugging me)



She was also trying to kiss me at one point of time.. Lesbian Partnerz.. wahahaha.. Long story...



Then Deena tried to qualify to be one of Singapore's inspiring tour guide and as you can see, Hid was being the can't be bothered tourist...



Then both of us (me & hid) was being the natural Act Cute Models.



And the laser show at the fountain make these girls look like angels... Nice effect it gave us... whahahahah.. Only because of the laser show ah.. if not you guys are definitely not angels.. whahahaha..



We went to esplanade and gave hid her part 3 which was a Swatch Watch la... Damn funny her reaction... That was went hell broke loose... I think we were too full from the pizza or just high on ice cream....

coz, Deena thinks that she's Minah Rocker...



which was obviously unsuccessful.. whahahahaa... Then we went home and hidayah starts taking pictures of all the presents she received... and below are the ones from us...



Anywayz, if anyone wanna see more of the pics.. i've put it the link on the blog already... under Memoirs labelled as "Hidz b-day '05".. :P

The WEEKEND is over.

I hate it.

I nearly died.

but i live to see Monday.

But my niece and nephew is cute though.

There are something that are unforgettable.

Hmmm.

This is great!

I'm going Negeri Sembilan and rite now, i'm printing out my homework while waiting for my dad to pick us up... THE BLACK INK HAS TO RUN OUT!

Now, i have no excuse of running away from any group conversations or something...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!

Did you know?

A thumb drive on ebay is anytime so much cheaper than those in challenger... The 1gb, 2Gb ones... I should know... Ebay is like my new shopping centre. WAHAHAH. Well, it really depends on what you shop for i suppose.

Ok. I'm depressed. I'm like fat! Dammit. I thought of wearing kebaya this weekend. But NVM! AIYO!

Nvm, i'm receving my running shoes next week... I shall start soon. Wahahhaa...

Sunday's Fathers' Day. I dont really need this! This year have to buy something i guess.. Since i'm seeing him this WHOLE weekend. At least last year, i was out with the Fencing Team. ARGH!

So i have no idea what to buy or whether or not i'll have the time to buy it before rushing home from school tomorrow.

-Watch (guesS? Swatch? CK?)

-Perfume (Hugo Boss, Boss? Hugo Boss, Soul? Armani?)

-Just ignore the fact that Sunday's Fathers' Day?

Hmmmmm... Such a difficult decision. LOL!. Haiz.

My diskettes just love to ask me to reformat them... SO i got sick of them asking and went to get a thumb drive for myself.

I mean, i had it with the pop-up box

"Would you like to format your diskette?"
"Yes No"

WHAT THE TOOOT! then in the end i cant even open the stupid diskette to retrieve my documents.

So i got meself a thumb drive. Showed it to my mom. she wasn't too happy about it. HAIYO! When i don't want one, she insist on one. When i gave up and went to buy it, she's like alittle unhappy.

Instead of saying that it looks fine or something, she told me,

"I told you to use my external hard disk, you don't want. Then instead, you went to get yourself a thumb drive."

I'm like wat?!?! Shocked speechless. When in the world did she even offer the external hard disk to me? If she did i would have taken it. GOSH! then i wouldnt have to waste my money to buy myself a thumb drive. AIYO!

The only thing i remembered her saying when she just bought the external HDD was, "when i finish transferring all my files, i have no use for this, you can have it..."

But it seemed as though that time wont come, coz, each time i saw the external HDD, its always in use... I can't probably share something that i need to store my schoolwork with, with her... rite? I mean what if she needs it when i need it?

Now, she says this? Hurmph.

Never mind. I understand. We're going through a tough time.
*Keeps repeating that to self as though a chant*

I give up.

I shall just continue pondering on how to take over the world. At least that feels better to think about.

I've realised, i've been missing out on alot of things... Tsk tsk tsk... I'm still young but there's so many things that i haven't do. Shame on me. LOL!

Nah, Boyfriend not included. Yes azi, i don't have any secret boyfriends with the password of MOTHER... whahahahaha..

Its time to relocate the passion, the drive, the commitment and the interests.

I wanna travel. I wanna draw. I wanna take pictures. I wanna do so much. So many beautiful place i wanna see, things i wanna do, people i wanna meet.

They always say that money makes the world goes round. How true indeed. It doesn't buy you love. But it obviously get you places. You can go anywhere with money, do anything you ever dreamt of doing without any restrictions, basically live the life that only exists on the silver screen or in hardcover bedtime stories that have endings created for you to have sweet dreams.

You can do anything at any cost.

What is a $500 for 10 sessions? What is $1000 a month? What is a $300 weekend getaway? You can probably do it every weekend. LOL. Heck. What's a weekend getaway at some resort? Get your own island, your own boat, your own chateau. hahaha...

How wonderful it would be... *daydreams*

*falls back to reality*
Oh shit, i need to get my atm working, need to pay my mom back for the camera... I'm so broke. So much for daydreaming.. LOL!

Only way for me to make that daydream of mine real is to get married or maybe not, i think attached would be sufficient, to some ultra rich guy, man, grandfather, old hag? LOL!

Or just kill everyone in the world, leaving only the selected few alive... then, we would own the world! EVERYTHING IN IT! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH... *evil laughter*

*plans of a devious scheme to take over the world*

Had a wedding today...

Then had a funeral...

And then went to PS...

In the first event, well... Obviously we ate... Chicken rendang, rice, breaded fish, those kinda things served during weddings...

Then the second event, it was my cousin's best friend thing... Then we were served food again... Rice, small bits of chicken, Crispy fried fish, belacan, vegetables (argh! POISON!)

Then later on we went to PS, i was escorted by cousin, niece and nephew just coz i wanted to buy shower foam. They just don't get why i had to buy shower foam at PS at Marks & Spencers and not at Watsons or any supermarket nearer to my house...

But thats not the point, the thing is we went to swensen to indulge ourselves in ice-cream...

And when we were about to leave PS... Me, my niece and my nephew.

All 3 of us realised that we're hungry. Wahahahhahaa.

Such pigs.

Friday... Went out with Hidayah. It seemed as though its been such a long time since we last went out, but then... Surprise Surprise. Only 2 weeks have passed from the last outing.

wahhahhaa... Went to Anderson's of Denmark to chill.

Let's see... lemme dig out some photos from that day.

OH SHIT... I'm so SCREWED.. I think Azi and Hidayah is going to kill me...

I just realised something... I've accidentally deleted the photos!! ARGH! STUPID! There goes our ice cream pictures and our "magnificent" masterpiece at the end of the ice-cream chilling out session!!! ARGH!!!!!!

And those pictures of us... HAIZ! I should just go and hang myself shouldn't i? And Azi, don't fret those pictures of us in the MRT are still around.. its just those at the ice cream parlour...

*Hides under a rock*

Number 1: Johor.

Kay, i told you already what... I won't be going to Johor. My mom allows it but too bad it falls on the weekend that i'll be going to Malaysia itself... with a whole group of people that i'm not exactly excited to go with. So ya. There's no way of me being able to escape that. My cousin's getting married. So ya. It's a binding contract that is automatically consensual even if i didn't exactly gave my consent.

Number 2: Mood.

If people around have been asking me the reason why i look so down this pass few days as if on the verge of tears. I don't actually have an explaination. Most probably i'm frustrated about something, angry with something, extremely sad over some stuff that i can't actually bring myself to express it out loud.

Basically, i'll be like this for the weeks to come.. and after the Malaysia Weekend trip... This so-called unstable mood might prolong. Please excuse me if i don't hear you calling out to me, or actually didnt realise if there is really anyone around me, or just basically lost in my own world - like some said, on the verge of tears.

So ya. There's nothing for anyone to actually be concerned about.

My mom just calls it Temporary Depression... hahaha... It happens.

Number 3: A Message from Kay to Me (in other words the most recent blog entry).

Yup. You are right. I had lots of things to say. It's not that you didn't give me a chance or i didn't wanna say it, coz, i've actually typed out a reply. But then as you put it, it wasn't really meant for me and only parts of it was mine. So i'll put it aside till the appropriate time surface again. I mean what's the use of prolonging a matter that was already ending at that time rite? *smiles*

Yup. It did make me wonder why on earth you had that idea, instead of tears, the laughter that we shared made you conclude that this friendship is/was superficial. Honestly, I was disappointed. As you obviously have guessed how much a friendship between me and another person mean to me, so i guess you'd probably will know why i felt like that.

I do have somewhat similar problems. Not knowing how to comfort people as i'm afraid i say the wrong things. One thing different is that, you have always been the life of a party as you put it but i was never one. :D. You ever asked me why am i not social? remember? I believed i've told you the answer as well. Lessons were taught the hard way, circumstances made me like this.

Don't worry about getting laughed at... Coz, i'm very sure it won't happen. I know you've cried in front of a few people that you've known from a very short period of time. Tell me, which one of them have actually laughed at you? if they didn't, what makes you think we will?

I know you've caught me a few times as if about to burst into tears. But those tears never actually fall. Not in front of people, sometimes not even when i'm alone. I can't allow it to fall in front of others is that i know i wont stop seeing that there is/was someone who is actually concern.

You live by one rule and that only anger is allowed. For me, i promised myself that never to feel again. Emotions to me are just weaknesses. Well, because of this promise and obviously my ego and pride, i don't cry. I've kept too many things within and i know once i cry. I'll just break.

But obviously, know its alittle different, coz, i've started wondering how long till i get over the promise. Those times i cry was because of things that recently happen even during certain events that seemed as though nothing is bothering me and me crying was out of doing my job.

I agree, you can share sadness with someone you're comfortable with. But you share happiness with someone that you're equally comfortable with as well. but obviously, it all varies from a person's personality to the next. How much do they really wanna reveal?

I never forced you to tell me stuff. Actually, i've never forced anyone to tell me anything. Coz, i know, if a person is unprepared to tell me what's the use of pressing on. Afterall, it is their story and not mine. Besides, friendship is a lifetime relationship. If they feel uncomfortable now or its not a right time, somewhere along, there will be a time where its right, where they're comfortable and where the trust is enough. At the end, it will come to a point where you'll know.

let's see.. what else ah?

i guess that's all rite? yup, i guess that's it.. before i start being irritating and say you're welcome or somthing along those lines... :P

To kay,

Don't forget... we have an SIP Pre-Launch Briefing on the morning of the 18th June.. So i wonder how are you going to reach back to singapore in time for the briefing? *smiles*

Enough is enough...

Words you say just keep haunting me everyday... Yes, i don't take whatever you say seriously... But i'm not actually deaf to begin with to miss out on the things you say...

Your comments about me... Your thoughts and views on me... Sometimes i just wish you keep it to yourself rather than talking about it like as though you're some loud hailer cum announcer, checking on my life as though you owned it... Announcing to the world in my presence as though i don't exist...

Boy, do i really appreciate that or wat....

I know i'm not one to actually show when i'm upset, affected by what you say or whatevers... But in case you forgot, i'm actually of the same species as you. Human being. Ooooh. Surprised?

Sadly to say, we're the same species... How bad is that?

In case you forgot as well what actually is a human being... Here, let me remind you. They come in different gender, iq level, looks, personality..

oh ya.. i nearly forgot.. God gave each one of them have feelings of their own.

There's too many things happening this week.. I just cant take it anymore!!!! I'm just tooo freaking tired to care anymore... everything is seriously happening in a blur...

Funeral, Marriages, tears from others, airport, outburts, prayers, questions, interrogations, more prayers, cute child, nieces and nephews, unhealthy, outings, late night at sentosa, shopping, running errands, cousins, uncles, aunts, airport, johor, marketing and that is only till today - Saturday.. there's still tomorrow... My week hasn't end yet...

And me watching all this from the sideline.

So basically, thats my week.

It's my first week of school. And as you can see... there's nothing from school stated here... I'm too distracted with things around me that i don't actually notice school to begin with...

I go to school... I go to lessons that i wonder when will end... I rush home... I don't exactly go home... met cousins, run errands... And then night comes, go home, next day same thing happens all over again.

So. Me disappearing from the net or school this week is due to family reasons. I'm too tired when i reach home to actually come online... I'm too caught up with family matters that i don't actually notice anything in school...

So in other words, i need to catch up on my homework. Haiz.

And there's other things that i hadn't been able to attend too.. Yup, for example a particular blog entry that was addressed to me and mel. I've read it on Sunday night/Monday morning but was too tired to reply it on the spot. So i kinda put it on hold for a while.

Since it was said that the entry is not really meant for me.. then i guess.. i shall not reply to it..