Wedding Bells A Ringing
(The craziness from the bridesmaid's pt of view)


Location: Bora Bora Beach Bar, Sentosa, Singapore
Date: 28th June 2008
Time: 6pm till Late
Dresscode: Smart Casual (Bridesmaids to be in Magenta)

Reporting Bridesmaid: Nur Nadira

Yes, people... I changed my hairstyle again. I'm back to being a mushroom head only more vogue this time. WAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

Last Saturday, Lili got married. Yup yup! After about 2months of running around and she annoying me in the middle of the night, the big day arrived. My day started wayyyyy before 6pm of 28th June 2008.

It started from the previous day. Last minute touches had to be made and therefore I couldn't crash at the Bride's pad to entertain her on her last day of singlehood.

And me being me, made sure that I packed her stuff and realised that I didn't have shoes to go with my dress. Paranoid pls! I thought I was gonna end up barefooted on that actual day... Talk about glamourous. *rolls eyes*

I hunted for shoes last minute and really did think that I'm doomed. Ended up buying a pair of 5inch gold heels from Nine West.

The whole week before that, the rest of the bridesmaids were pulling their hair on how on earth they're gonna find a Magenta dress. Well, you see, Lili wanted Lavendar for her bridesmaid. I was on leave, and went around hunting for it! You tell me where can find Lavender in the summer collection?!

So i asked her whether any other shades of purple is fine since I cant find a thing... She said ok. So i was under the impression that, her bridesmaids will be in any shades of purple.. So me and Deena bounced into warehouse and spotted the Magenta dress... which I bought and then Lili asked me to send a pic of my dress to the rest... Then it hit me that they most probably will kill me... Khekhekhekhe...

MOVING ON,

On the actual day I was awake at 8am to compile some song list and get myself ready since I was supposed to appear at her house at 1230pm (which I was late for.. duh~!)

Deena called me to make sure that I have everything ready since she is either worried that i might break my heels or tear my dress before anything. Seriously, that woman have so much faith in me. Sheesh~! She forced me to go over to her house since I needed her handbag and she wanted to do a spotcheck.

*rolls eyes* AUNTY AH! AT THE END OF THE DAY I AM STILL A GIRL LOR! I JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TIE MY RIBBON ONLY HOR!

But anywayz, I appeared at Lili's house at about 2.30pm to the surprise of everyone of my change of hairstyle and that I appeared in a dress for the first time in front of them. BLEARGH~!

So i went to disturb Lili inside the room and started playing with her veil and can can (is that how you spell it?).. I was prancing around with it... DUH~! Me so omg jakun never see this kinda thing before and so girlish and so frilly... so cute lor!

Then I realised that I was getting warm and that's only when I settled myself in front of the fan and underneath the aircon! Ate pizza and chicken wings and played with Poppy(her cat). Camwhored with cammie that's not mine... So I have no idea where's all my pictures.. HMMM!!!

Went to Bora Bora at about 430pm... And set up everything and I was appointed DJ of the night! The bar area was damn hot pls! I am quite positive that I have at least gone down 2 sizes by the end of the night! So tak glam lor!

But things went quite smoothly despite several annoyance. I just sat at the music area when I have nothing to do... Its really quite fun looking out to the crowd and observing everyone from a 3rd person perspective. heeee...

It was like prom all over again. Everyone so dressed up, drinking, eating, talking and catching up on each others' life since most of them have not seen each other for the past 2yrs... It was very sweet. the entire thing... :)

Finally get to see them after a week!!! Azi looks happy after the swiss trip lo! I think overseas air always do something good to her! She didn't even look sick lor even though she told me the other day that she recovering from being sick in switz... LOL!!





I'm sorry to the rest that I did not manage to take pics with or talk for very long.. Boo Hoo Hoo~!!

Guess what else I've learnt to do by the end of the night? Running around in 5inch heels. When I say run, I mean run. LOL!! And later on dance in 5inch heels! WAHAHHAHAHAHA~!!

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Dearest Lili,

Like I've said before, never in my life would I ever thought that the day would come where I would be there as your bridesmaid on your wedding day or to even assist you in planning it. And I think never in your life did you expect it as well.

3years ago, never once did we ever sit at the same table to have a civilised conversation or even acknowledge each others' presence until one day we started calling each other Kambing. The group's very own Chinese Kambing and the Indian Kambing.

Vulgarities were constantly exchanged, name calling became a way of life, and irritating each other became something that we've grown to be an expert in. Those still remained btw. lol!

Fate certainly has its ways as we both have learnt in the most recent 6months that we entered each other's life.

The past 6 mths have been interesting. We've seen each other in our best and worst forms. You never expected to be one of those to witness me breakdown in such a way, I know that, but you did. The same way I've never expected you to cry to me too... And the intial impression we both had of each other flowed away along with the tears.

You're the strongest girl I've ever met but beneath all that hard exterior lies a girl so gentle with great dreams. Like i said on your wedding day, You came to me unexpectedly, like an angel in the most undefined and unrefined form and I thank you for it.

I salute you for taking this journey. Everyone's afraid of getting married. But hey, when its time... you'll know it! rite? :P LOL! Love is afterall a journey of self-discovery and knowing of the others' importance in your life and I pray you'll find the peace in it.

But no matter what happens, you'll always be my Kambing!

Lotsa Lurve,
Nad.

P.s: Deena & Nadia sends their regards.

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More pics will be uploaded once I know who has them! haizzzz...

List of things - Revised as of 27th June 2008, 11am.

1. Compile song list
2. Get my earrings
3. Get frameless frame
4. Get ring pillow
5. Complete tealight holders
6. Do my hair
7. Put catering invoice in one bag
8. Pester Deena to let me borrow a bag
9. Hang my dress
10. Send my shoe to the cobbler to do something Go get new shoes after dance class today
11. Send out my parcel
12. Remember to bring lili's things on saturday
13. buy ink from Mont Blanc
14. Remind lili to pass all invoices

I cant seem to remember what else is there but somehow it feels as though something is missing...

HMMMMMMMMM

I am tired. I am tired. Lalalallalala....

I am mentally planning my route today! WAHAHAHAHHAA... I can't seem to find my notebook. ARGH!

And i'm feeling bimbotic.. Been giving off bimbotic vibes anywayz.. Even people cant believe the things i say half the time also..

---------------------------------
Desperate times, calls for desperate measures...

As long as it doesnt drive me to the brink of insanity... Yay.

My eyes betray me yet again. I looked for a little too long and talked silently.

I hope it didn't show too much. Hidden feelings.

*smacks self*

Vulnerability, it should be a crime.

One thing i've never fancied was having an audience.

Some know of this fact and others, i think, remained unaware of this audience thingy. Papparazzis. I don't appreciate it really.

But somehow, it became something quite inevitable in my life.. even though I wondered how and why. I'm not overestimating my importance to anyone or boasting my popularity coz I know i'm none of the above.

Is it fun to talk about other people? Is it? Really? Is it really fun to keep track of others' life and later on talk about it like the next episode of some drama series?

I also don't need rumours to start flying around. I really don't need it. Sometimes I really wonder what is it that I have done wrong... Or maybe my existence really do piss you off?

Nobody knows of the emotional rollercoaster I'm going through and I don't expect anyone to understand it either. Many won't see things the way I do, many won't understand the things I say and why I say it.

I've never begged before. But it seems as though i've done alot of begging this time round. I've sucked in my pride, as though it will really matter as I don't really feel much anymore. And i'm gonna do it again.

While I appreciate certain parties' concerns, I don't need it. Especially vindictive, mean and practically annoying. Yes, certain things happened under certain circumstances. But i still do love and care. So it pains me to be reading certain things, especially when I find it rather unfair.

I exist you know? So don't act as if I don't and say things as if I don't exist.

Just put yourself in my shoes for once. Never once have I tried to hurt anyone and liked seeing anyone being hurt or accused with mean remarks, thrown in their way. When I'm angry, yes, I say things I mean... with also my name attached to it.

I never liked cowardice. Not now, not ever. So please, its been hard. It still is. So just stop.

Please.

Malay Mania

I think if i were to write an entry in Malay, I will sound damn minah. As in those informal malay.

For eg:

Siak ah... Takot sak nak hantar surat "cinta". Tapikan, yg aku fikir sangat pasal orang lain tu kenaper? At the end of the day, its my life per. I'm the one who's living it.. Not others. If i'm unhappy... Nobody else will know, they're not facing it. So better make decision as I want, even if it displeases others.

Setiap hari masok ofis mcm nak pegi torture chamber.. Its like, aku tak belajar aper-aper seh kat sini. 6 bulan kat sini and at the end of the day? Aku raser, mcm waste time ah!

On top of that, sakit hati setiap hari. I tell you, anak aku is never gonna be an accountant. I will put my foot down seh. Dier org ni, nak cakap bodoh... tak. Nak cakap pandai... pun quite questionable.

Belajar tinggi tinggi.. but what's missing? Common Sense. Bodoh sak. ISH! Geram nyer! And one wonders why I'm the one making such a big fuss about accountants when I'm in Legal rite? that's the problem... Harass me - Pagi petang siang malam... Over stupid minor things that THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE!

The director of finance pisses me off. I shall refer to him as Babz. you all can imagine la ye what is the long form of Babz. Si Babz nie suker menyakitkan hati I. Dier ingat yang he so effing High & Mighty becoz of his stupid position.

Dier ingat orang will run to him just becoz he minta something. Biler orang need something from him, tunggu la 2 -3 bulan.. still quite questionable dapat ke tak.

He has an assistant, let's call him Babz junior. Babz & Babz junior nie act important but actually not.

At least si Babz junior pernah nampak my wrath so he still quite polite la eh everytime nak tanya things. Si Babz pulak asyik ingat aku nie tak der kerja atau aku tak pernah buat kerja until the other day I actually told him off. Si Babz nie asyik minta barang, biler i cakap tak der.. dier tanyer besok dah jumper ke belum. Dah cari ke tak? Is that bodoh or wat?

Babz shock. I also shock. That I told him off. My voice was raised actually. The usual patient Nad went out the window. The candid all smiling demeanour evaporated as irritation took over.

And the boss? ARGH! dont even know how to begin! Aku raser, there are times that he thinks i'm stupid.

People pleaser. I hate those. BENCI BENCI BENCI!!!! kat sini... those species? MENIMBUN! Why? Climbing the career ladder la tu.. Ah.. Pegi ah panjat tu ladder tinggi tinggi! Pegi I say!

Backstab all the way yo! Aku dah kena dah the other day... that's why I hate Finance. tralallalaa.. One thing they forget is that... In a company, Legal will always be a step higher than Finance. HA! Eat my dust!

But then again, I was beginning to be Miss Bitch.. Now, for a month, I've been Queen Bitch and somehow pple are still fine with me. Bagos. I will continue to do that. Even my boss realise how I deal with things with the rest and he usually just chuckle and go inside his room...

Once I ignore, I really ignore. Once I snap, I really snap.

Then lagi satu.. ARGH! ITU PEREMPUAN MEMANG NAK KENA! lol! i think i just sound Baba! But hor.. dier eh... MEMANG AH! make my blood pressure go upstairs la! Actually not mine only.. everyone else's in the company also.. she is just beyond annoying and irritating. Those words are too kind to be describing her with.

And I just continued the rest of my entry in english.. Banyak punyer nak taip bahasa melayu. Memang tak last punyer!

PMSING? *shrugs*

I am such a coward when it comes to things like this.

Fark. I'm so damn tired. Tired doesn't even begin to describe how i feel rite now. I'm just whatever.

She called yesterday. Told her of my day, told her what the most unexpected thing that I did the day before yesterday in town. She was shocked. Yes. And I told her, it was like a dream that I could barely remember what the details were. Even though it was shocking, it was that unimportant to me that I can't be bothered to remember it. It wasn't worth my time.

I no longer bother cancelling the days on the calendar, there's really nothing to look forward too anymore. Its like the days past and i'm just staring at it from the 3rd party point of view.

I think I'm in a daze.

I think I am void of feelings.

*pulls hair* Oh god Nad! Just give it. What more than a better time like this? Nothing pple say will affect you anymore! and yet you still consider the feelings of others. ARGH!

Like the rest of this entry, this is so random but this is my 1001th post! ha. its like beginning at 1 all over again.

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I'm walking away (now I'm walking away)
From the troubles in my life (from the troubles in my life)
I'm walking away (yeah) oh, to find a better day

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Did you know?

Last weekend i had the most interesting time.

I went to watch a soccer match. Yes, me. I know. Surprising! LOL! Saudi Vs Singapore at the Stadium.

I've always done stupid things everytime the stadium is involved and the last time was catching Singapore Idol live. lol!

Anywayz, it was interesting how boring the match was! LOL! The company was definitely interesting. It was like rivals. I seriously have no idea why the entire group went together. But I pitied her.. She's like having to please 2 difficult parties. bleargh~

But of course there was this particular eye candy at the stadium! lol!!

Made new friends! Pics will definitely be up soon! hehehehe

and guess what i did on Sunday? I went for my distant cousin's wedding. My malaysian cousins came in for it and I dared the brother to go up to the DJ and karaoked for the wedding.

SURPRISE SURPRISE.

He marched up to the DJ and requested a song and I made his youngest sister sing with him!!! LOL!!! They were the highlight of the wedding actually, apart from the newly weds of course. LOL!

after that, i was begged to go Karaoke. Which i ended up agreeing to.. ME? K-ING?! lol! it was fun. he made me duet with him..

If i ain't got you, Dilemma, Baby Boy, This i promise you, My boo... WAHAHAHA.. romantic or wat? lol!

And yes, i sang malay song as well. not only song.. SONGS! *hides face* It was humiliating lor! But yes, i had fun. thanks idiots! I know you guys were worried the moment you saw me that night... No worries k?!

Can i go k-ing again? pls pls pls?

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Cas is my new found friend. We have concluded that we love each other. lol!

Reminder to self: Ask Cas for photos.

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WOMAN! COME BACK TO SG SOON! HOW ON EARTH AM I GONNA SURVIVE HERE BY MYSELF?! FOR NEARLY A MONTH!

oh... don't forget to bring me something from Japan! a telephone number would be good too! *wiggles eyebrows*

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I'm numb. Yes, just keep it coming. Coz I seriously don't feel a thing rite now.

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I'm finally recovering! finally. After a month of being sick. My voice is still ROCKER yo!

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My dance teacher didn't know what race I am. For an arab, I am shocked. They usually know what you are at first glance. But the reason why I know she was unsure when she asked me this, "Are you muslim?" LOL!

You should see the puzzled look on her face and the surprise later on after I said yes. So what am I? Indian Eurasian? this is the umpteenth time in a month... LOL!!

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I wanna shop!! actually i shouldn't. At the rate i shop this month... my closet is kinda packed now! lol!

kwang kwang kwang...

A prayer.

God,

Forgive me for my weaknesses. Forgive me for my denials. Forgive me for ignoring the small voice within.

Its been hard. There's too many things flooding in every time I closed my eyes.

I've never felt so alone before. As though trapped in the darkest cave. Too many words hidden, too much feelings suppressed. I'm suffocating. No wait, maybe I'm drowning.

God, its sad. It really is, to see what is unfolding before my eyes. Some friends deserve to be thrown in a pit of fire. I swear. I thought over the years, they'll get over things. I guess... Not.

Is there really something wrong with me? Am i really that bad? That mean? What have I even done wrong to you? Sheesh.

God, I'm falling apart. But no, i can't show my vulnerability to anyone.The last thing i expect is for you to add on to this misery of mine. What I found out from him yest left me shocked. Thanks alot. You, of all people.

Why can't friendship just be simple? I thought friends care and accepted you wholly despite what you have more or less than the other? Are such friendships non-existent now? Or is that a 14th Century mindset that have evolved along with technology?

Dear God, please give them the strength to see me through this. Some have cried for my pain, while i just stare at them emotionless.

Dear God, why do the eyes glisten with tears even when nothing occurs? Why do the heart aches? Why do the head hurt? Why do the eye refuse to open at the break of a new day? I am not surprised at the situation. Its all tooo familiar. It happened before... some time back. It hurt then. It hurts now.

Therefore, i continously try even after many failed attempts. Maybe, like 2-3yrs ago, I'll walk away.

Dear God, please take care of him.

God, thanks for listening. I've talked to you all these while even when I smile and laugh.

3 yestyears ago...

I miss school. I really do! lol!

I was reading thru my past entries when i suddenly remembered of a particular time in lecture theatre where we were so bored with management? or was it company law? that we decided to write stories. there was one line that will never be erased from my head.

"WHAM! The orang utans, slammed into the hippos butt."

That seriously never failed to make me die laughing.

I was reading one entry where I was having Fam Law project. My group was Awi, Caleb, Vik, Mel and myself. It was one of my most interesting group. I remembered how panicky i was at certain periods..

And one of the classic moment i remembered was when i read my blog entry. Mel was supposed to be sending me the Family Law presentation but instead of sending it out, he put it in the recycling bin of his comp.. And there i was sitting beside him in the lab, constantly refreshing my mail at high speed. *faints*

I remembered how we used to skip classes for movie escapades, town escapades, chill out escapades, arcade escapades and even sleeping escapades.

I remembered chatting on MSN while in class and the people i was chatting with was sitting rite next to me...

I remembered SMSing in lectures when the people i was smsing with were sitting 2 rows in front of me...

I remembered how Kay comes to me when she needed help with her assignments and how all of us exchanged points and notes for exams, tests and projects.

I remembered how I started everyone camwhoring the day i got my very first digi cam. and filled 2 512MB memory cards to the brim.

I remembered internship and the craziness of it, the lunch hours, the after work hours.

I remembered prom and how gorgeous everyone looked that night.

I remembered the productions I had, the speech competitions that i've joined, the events i've hosted, the sports that i've joined... Rugby.. How fondly do i remember my 1000 sit ups and 1000 push ups per training! lol!!, the late nights to finish my projects, the early morning macdee's breakfast, And the bustling life of a student.

I remembered how i've grown to love my friends and having a partner in crime.

I remembered how afraid I was that I'll lose contact with the people i've grown to cherish and love.

I remembered feeling like shit when Mel entered army coz I no longer have my partner in crime around so often to bitch and talk to or even go out with. I remembered missing Hally & Shahdon when production ends. I remembered those moments where me and azi have our shopping sprees.

I've never forgotten any of those moments. I've missed you. haiz.

Now? Lonely. yup yup...

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I won’t ever be too far away to feel you
And I won’t hesitate at all
Whenever you call
I’ll always remember
The part of you so tender
And be the one to catch your fall
Whenever you call

Being sick and alone at home is not a good combination.

Now is one of those times I hope someone would appear at my door to nurse and keep me company at home. Bring food, give hugs. bleargh~

*kills self* Can't seem to focus on anything, everything seems to be a blur. Can't seem to breathe properly, i feel worst than a fish out of water. Can't possibly move, i'm shivering too much. But i need to get my ass to the doctor! But... I can't seem to move. Feel like as if the ground is giving way, the head is too heavy.

Typing this entry is a chore.

How the hell am i gonna drag myself out of the house and down the stairs? Haiz. I'm so in trouble.

Flu bug has bitten me!

I'm the last person to have caught the flu bug from the office despite me being sick last week.

Due to certain promies i've made through out the week, I held on to my health and refused to fall completely ill even though my voice was slowly leaving me.

Despite being sick, I ended up at O Bar on Friday after leaving Ambrosia. Was told not to go MOS since it was boring... So yeah.. I was at O Bar. The first club that I was brought too.



Entered the club with eyes fixed on us. Trust me, we were lucky that we did not wear what we wore last week to O bar. The crowd was rather... Questionable.

Danced and all... It was damn crowded and seriously, it was getting annoying. It doesnt help that I was sick. We both were sick. And being sick, and still able to dance like that, I think I should seriously salute the both of us. lol!!

It was seriously amazing how we both were looking out for each other despite me having headache and her having flu.

We would have saved alot of money if we were more awake with all the drinks that we have turned down. But seriously, with that kinda crowd, i would seriously not take my chances.


I decided to leave, coz it was getting way toooo hot inside there... and i thought that i would faint anytime soon. Besides, some people were just not happy that we were getting attention. If O bar has a platform like zouk, i think the both of us would have been pushed on it. *rolls eyes*


So before anything happens, we left. We concluded that it was a place to go with, with the brothers or our partners, especially when you're sick. LOL! but it was fun. The both of us might consider going back there together when we're fully well. lol! So as to be able to face anything and anyone without worrying. LOL!


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Argh Nad. You should just get better. Seriously, nobody's gonna care if you're sick. Even if you've been falling sick so often recently. No one's gonna bother.


Another thing Nad, just send it. Send it and see what happens. You're not needed here. You're not important. to anyone and not anymore.


I am going insane. I'm talking to myself. yay.
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I'm sick.. coz...


no no.. can't be. but then again, it just might be.

Sex And The City

was disappointing! Maybe I expected so much more from such a highly acclaimed drama series. The movie was as though browsing thru a book at a bookstore. Flipping the pages at high speed.

yup yup.

Looking at the 4 characters in the movie. I see myself like that 20years down the road with my girls and we would do the exact same things that they did.

Shopping down 5th Avenue (singapore context: Paragon, Scotts, Taka)
Having coffee with each other on the weekends.
Going to fashion shows.
And helping each other through life.

Watching the show was very deja vu.

I even turned to Deena at one point and asked her, "Don't you think all this is a little too familiar? Its like as though we've said this kinda thing before."

Deena: "Yeah. I know, its so us lor... I think 20years down the road we will still be this kecoh"

And Deena... we will always be each others' Charlotte eh?

Some things in the movie made me quiet. Some things are all too familiar. Words. Reactions. Situations.

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I may be a very good actress but I've always been a bad liar... no?

Elliott Yamin Lyrics
Wait For You Lyrics

Have always been loving this song even though its currently giving me a hard time. Doesn't help that its been playing in loops the past few days even though i've state in my previous post that i've been avoiding songs.

ANYWAYZ, I think out of all the Singapore Designers, My favourite is still Ashley Isham. He is like... yayness! High fashion all the way yo! Love it. Love his runway shows, his runway themes. Not that I'm saying the rest are bad... I mean pple like Kenneth Loh and all have very interesting styles... I just find Ashley Isham very TOP MODEL! wahahahah!! I like~

Btw, you guys should see his Singapore house. GORGEOUSNESS.COM.

Sometimes I wonder, if i did not accept Law & Management, would i have been in Fashion instead? And alot of those times, the small voice said, "yeah, i think you will." LOL!

Can you imagine? My name gracing the runways and being the hottest, most sort after labels. Right beside Salvatore, Calvin Klein, Anna Sui, Gucci, Prada, Tommy Hilfiger... you'll have Nadira Zainal.

Being in Paris/Milan Fashion Week, the stars doning it on the red carpet and having top models like Naomi Campbell, Gisele Bundchen or Adriana Lima gracing my runway shows; strutting their stuff with my label, my collection, my designs.

Nadira Zainal.

Talk about exotically appealing. Yummy.
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Talked to Deena about some things yest. Yes, maybe i'll really do it this time round. yes yes.

I wish I may, I wish I might
I wish upon a star so bright

A Mess.

My head's a tangled mess and its no joke. There's so many things I wanna say but for the first time in a very very long time I have no one to tell it out too. I'm back to before and trying my best to hold everything together and not fall apart.

My random moments are kept mum. I used to remember few years back, I found comfort in something and finding it strange that it was as such and the same person felt that way as well.

My mind's been going in pictures, songs, words, phrases, incidents, expectations, standards.

My blogging is gonna be a lot of random things where no one will understand. Well not many will i think.

If I were to grow up in another country with lesser legal restrictions with the kind of mismatched family i'm in, I'll be one of those daughters of really really rich underground families who really hates what's happening in her life and really have no idea what the family is doing but she knows that she's different but no one will see it.

The other day was fun. I might be doing it again next weekend. The two of us girls should go again, maybe it will be 3 next week.

The most interesting part about it is when everyone's asking us if we're locals. When we say yes... they were like... "Oh cool! So you guys eurasians rite?" My cousin just stared at me and turned back to them: "Nope. We're Malays." You should see the shock on their faces and the WTF look that followed it. "Malays? You guys gotta be kidding rite?" Me: "Errr... Nope" Them: "Oh... Wow."

I swear that night was a confidence booster. LOL!

LEONA LEWIS - Bleeding Love.


Leona Lewis Lyrics
Bleeding Love Lyrics

I don't know why they're like so into this song. When one phone rang, and the other rings, nobody realises that its 2 different phones ringing. *rolls eyes* I mean I don't deny that the song is nice la.

I lost my IC. lol! It was funny though, no matter how serious a matter it is.

BABYFACE - Nobody Knows It But Me.


Babyface Lyrics
Nobody Knows It But Me Lyrics

The song was playing in the car yesterday. Damn the radio. But then again, Class 95 was playing really good songs.

Don't you think expectations are getting a little high? No no. Seriously, I have nothing to offer to anyone. Period. I'm just a normal girl, not exactly very special i may add.

I've stayed away from various singers now, namely Babyface, Elliott Yamin, and yes. Even backstreet boys.

I was watching Princess Diaries 2 the other day and again yesterday night on channel 5. I think the song Breakaway fits that entire situation of the movie. I don't know why but everytime it plays in that movie, never fails to make me feel hollow inside.

Prince Caspian is hot even though I hate the uncertain attitude of the character. And I think King Edmund looks like Ali. Which I find disturbing since I find Edmund cute and well Ali is my cousin. And Ali is annoying and Ali also cannot find out that I find the similarities between the both of them or he will never let me forget that.

My mom's current favourite song is Babyface - What if. I hate that fact that she tends to play it in loops that i've begun to memorise it already. Now can even sing it without the need of the song.

I've always found inspiration in Legally Blonde. Even more now actually.

Papa. Hmmm... Don't even know where to start. Yesterday's kenduri was cute. The kids were really cute. The Darul Ma'wa kids were singing some weird ass song which after awhile got stuck in my head. "Watermelon, Watermelon. Banana, Banana. Kici kici kici kici. Rambutan, Rambutan" I still have no idea what fruit is Kici Kici.

We took pictures recently and she commented on how i look. She said that something is wrong. Its a smiling picture and yet... Then she realised. The eyes. I guess those who know me will realise. *shrugs*

You know what i hate? I hate politics. Especially, office. These hypocritical buggers are pissing me off. I'm tired of politics. I've had enough of it from the prev place. I just don't want anymore. Is it really tooooooo much to ask?

I'm tired. Can't anyone see that?

I promised something. I am here to deliver it even under the most unfair circumstances and under the most painful situations. I know many wont understand. But there are just some things worth more than anything else. When I've given my word, nothing's gonna it.

I should go karaoke one day and make a fool of ourselves eh Deena? LOL! Before or after bowling?

Suddenly, I don't know whether I can live up to expectations. Haiz. Woes be me.

Fading away. I can survive this. I hope.