Monday, July 28, 2008

SENORITA OUTING NOTICE

Dear Senoritas,

It has been agreed prior to this notice that an outing is deem to be due sometime soon with ALL the senoritas. The term "ALL" is defined herewith as current, active and honorary senoritas.

Therefore, this notice is made to adhere to the pact made at the last outing where 5 of us were present.

I am pleased to inform you that the upcoming outing of which the date has yet to be confirmed will be a bowling outing. Kindly confirm that ALL of you are agreeable to this activity for this upcoming outing before the date is confirm.

Please also note that this upcoming outing, it will be scheduled on the weekends due to the nature of the activity itself.

Kindly revert with your confirmation. Your great enthusiasm will be much appreciated.

Regards,
Nad.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Weather aches~

The inconsistent weathers are making me uneasy! Aching backs, headaches and surprisingly, I have been warm.

Yesterday, I was annoyed. Irritated. Frustrated. Stressed out.

This year started out with me wanting to experience the moments properly especially with more time on either side and now, I just can't wait for it to end. Once August makes its mark, the year will pass before my eyes.


Seems like I will be accepting something one of these days and after that, I think my year will fly by in a whirlwind. There will be alot of flying around which i will be doing once I've made up my mind. Yup yup.


I'm shocked, yet excited.

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I am here not to conform to society's expectations. I realised yesterday, others may bring me down but I am my own person. It is me who will live my life; not others.


Its my decision that will matter most.


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I am getting quite worried. Maybe I should force her to go for a full medical checkup.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Don't waste your tears.

Your crying yesterday actually broke my heart. For the very first time, I actually teared along listening to you.

My aunt always say, "Someone is never worth your time if they hurt you bad that you cry"

I want you to remember that. Your disappointment so apparent. Your hopes somewhat extinguished. I love you that it hurts bad to see you like this. Don't worry, i meant it in a sibling kinda way. We can never be.

Monday, July 21, 2008

And here I thought I'll be able to fall in a dreamless slumber. 3 nights or more, you've entered. Past few days, you lingered when I was awake. I have no idea how is it possible.

Can I still say that I'm currently missing you?

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Bleargh~ How?

Friday, July 18, 2008

I'm grateful to god to see her smile like that.

I'm grateful to god to see her blush like that.

Never once in my existence have I ever seen her in such a state. Not even with him. I can't help smiling to see her like that. I can't help but be happy for her.

Then she turned to me; For the first time, I actually knew how you feel. For the first time, I understand what you're going through. For the first time, I don't know what to say.

Woman, thank god it came at a point of the most unexpected, unpredictable and it wasn't something that you went in search off.

Like the saying goes, "You'll often meet destiny on the path you choose to take to avoid it" Maybe there is some truth in it aye? lol!

Enjoy it woman. Don't be scared. Don't be paranoid. Embrace it as it comes and live for it to your fullest. Once you lose your grip on it, its the worst feeling ever. I hope you wont have butter fingers coz this is the first time i've seen you smile like that. Genuinely happy.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Stepping Up

I'm having a huge headache. I think one of these days, I'm just gonna stare at a wall and rot. For ONE WHOLE DAY. lol! I think I'm stressed. Yeah... I think I am. Help? Anyone? I want a hug.

I was looking at my cousin's profile on facebook and guess what i saw?

Music: (leaves out unimportant stuff)... Anything cool coz I'm fucking cool

totally WTF RITE? and let me show you the most classic of all! *points below*

About me: I'm really beautiful and I'm never satisfied... Its a curse.

WAHAHAHAHH~!! Omar Elijah Litz, you are such a himbo pls! WAHAHAHAHAH~~!!!

But then, if one were to read Dhanya's blog about our MSN conversation. One would believe that me and him? We're cousins. LOL!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Its a clear starless night. Staring out into d unknown, her mind wonders.

The sound of cars seemed so distant, pple talking, slamming d doors shut. With earphones plugged in, tuning in to nelly's rapping n kelly's crooning, rather oblivious to her surroundings.

She doesn't like the feeling of not knowing what to do. She blabbers on talking abt her day, smiling n joking ard. She didn't ask how was she feeling knowing d ans at 1st glance.

She hopes it'll be btr the nxt tym she comes.
I am currently bored.

Yes.

As usual.

Hmmmm. My phone's quiet. Its quite sad really.

I think Deena is catching up on sleep and I have a strange feeling, so is my cousin. If my calculations are right, she should be back.

Dhanya and me have been having weird MSN convos. Its been making me giggle discreetly all day. I can't believe some of the things I've said to her as well and she has blogged about it! I should bury myself. LOL!


Bleargh~! *stares at phone*


There are times that I no longer see its need. Sorry phone, I'm not betraying you. I'm just stating a fact. Everything has lessened. Yes, it does. Not lessened. It has become non-existent.


Non-existent. I seem to grow accustom to the word now. There are times I actually do wonder, how am i gonna survive overseas? By myself. Practically non-existent. *scratches head* Quite a scary thought actually.


But hey, I've stepped into every educational level by myself... Now when I think about it. Yeah... None of my friends ever entered any school with me, but I did survive.


Besides, how hard can university be? rite?
...........Some (overdue) Pix Part 1.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Enough.

Hey, I know that you read my blog. Yup yup yup... I'm quite certain of it. No matter how much it is that I'm the last person you wish to read about and no matter how much you dislike me. I think you hate me actually, even though the reason for your tolerance to me is her. I know you don't agree with my principles, my mindset, my opinions, my decisions or even my actions and my choices. Think I'm dumb? Think again.

You know wat? Maybe its time you realise what she is made of. I'm serious.

Reality check #1: If she were easily influenced by me as you think she is now, your relationship wouldn't have lasted this long. It would have ended a month into it. That is a fact that I'm forcing you to face. I have ended one of it once a upon a time. I can do it again.

You know what's your problem? Male ego and also... trust issues. Its becoming a joke really seeing how you doubt her so much especially after knowing her for so long.

Reality check #2: A guy should consider himself lucky to get a girl like her. Seriously.

One thing for sure, you should be grateful that you're with her at a time where she is calmer and handle things as it comes. You should appreciate her for it. She is no longer the girl that I became close to 7yrs ago. No longer the girl that I had to pull out of trouble.

But trust me, once you ignite a spark, you'll get a taste of it. She is what she is.

Reality check #3: She may be calmer now, but never underestimate her. Once she has had enough, She will have enough.

You say... she's beginning to sound like me? Havent you heard? Or maybe... haven't you realised... "Birds of the same feathers flock together"?

Reality check #4: She's been patient. The most patient i've ever seen her been.

Just as she opens up, you put a lid on it. Just as she talks, you simply nod. Just as she needs your attention, you fall asleep. Has love suddenly become a state of convenience?

Let me be truthful here, you're not my most favourite person. But never once in this relationship have I ever butted in. I have my own opinions of you some of which she is unaware of.

Sacrifice, let me ask you... have you really done it? You have no idea what she's been through, you have no idea what she's done.

Reality Check #5: Face it, you and her, the only thing that is on the same par would be your looks... other than that?

Seriously, you're not the only one facing the stress. You have no idea the things she worry about, the things she hopes for.

Sometimes, guys just don't know what their girlfriends have done to side them, to fight for them. They're just oblivious about it.

Reality check #6: She is NOT someone you can tame.

Someone who will talk when she is spoken to. Someone who will answer only when asked. Someone who will sit quietly by your side, be pretty, stare and keep her opinions to herself. Someone who you can put aside, neglect or ignore when you're busy. Someone who will settle 2nd best. She is none of the above.

If those are what you're looking for in a girl. Wake up and look around. This is the 21st Century. She is brought up differently. Different than you.

If you want her, change. If you want her, accept the fact that she is not like all those other girls that you have met in your life. If you want her, its about time you prove yourself.

Reality Check #7: If you want her, then don't settle for 2nd best.

I'm only writing this now coz I've had enough. I've had enough of looking. You think its fun to know that she has not been sleeping, she's been crying, stressed up? You really think its fun? Seriously, if it comes to a point where I will have to do the honour. I will.

Don't make a mockery out of love and relationship. Its not simple. It NEVER will be.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

I was going through the Hong Kong photos. No I didn't go. BLEARGH~! I should get myself in S.M.U and get to go to HK for competitions. Its annoying really. Coz I'm jealous! HAIZ.

Anywayz, yes the fencers are camwhores. Birds of the same feathers flock together aie? lol! And trust them to take this of themselves......

Yes so this picture was inserted into the Visa Ad or rather the Visa was inserted into the picture... but the actions are real pls!

I should start taking pictures while fencing... Shall force Neo to fence with me and camwhore.. MUAHAHAHA.. He shall be my victim!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Ladies leave your men at home....

Girl's night out. Went to MOS on Saturday with the girls. Yup, there was a mini school gathering among us. Hahahaha... I know i know hard to believe rite? better believe it. lol!

Went all over MOS. I mean its the first time me and her were there! Obviously we're like... JAKUN rite?! We went to pure.. which was like... surgeon like white sia... i think it will be blinding if the houselights turned on. lol!
Then there was Studio 54 which was CUTENESS.COM! *boogies ala John Travolta* Everything was so colourful and the swings and the chairs.. lol!

The main arena was.. hmmm.. Ok I don't like trance... so ya.. go figure. lol!

We were stuck at SMOOVE half the time anywayz. The DJ was HOTTTTTTTT~!! I was like staring and staring and staring... Me and Deena ended up on the mini platform coz it was too crowded and I intend to get Deena back home in one piece. lol!
And only yesterday then I realised why the DJ was so familiar! He's the same guy from Leap Years... How can I not put the 2 together?! ALAMAK AI! wasted sia...
Did I mention that in the Leap Years, the convent that Wong Lilin was teaching is my school?! wahahaha.. so cute lor when i saw it... i turned to my cousin and i was like... "Nana, Why is the corridor so familiar? isn't that my school?" Cousin: "Seriously Dee, even I know its your school" But I digress... where was i? Oh yes..

He was right beside me when me and deena was taking a break and perching on the stool. He was beside us for the longest times! I could have taken a pic! argh! Btw, he wasn't the DJ with the random song choices. The other DJ was. BRITNEY & LINKIN PARK LEH! i understand if its pieces of me or break the ice or radar.. but give me more?!

NADIA! when you're back, I wanna go MOS just to take a pic with him! i'm serious! Even you also will like.. ooooogle lor down there...

But then again, if Bees have beehive. Mats have MOS lor. Seriously. its like an effing Mathive! Met some of my outside friends. When I mean outside, I meant outside. Even Deena was like.. WHO THE HELL?! lol!

We headed off to St. James - Powerhouse after that to meet someone but we didn't coz she was out of sight and we cant be bothered to search. lol!

BTW, I think we look good.. no?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Its funny how she called as though knowing that something is up.

In every Mr. Big & Carrie, there will always be a Charlotte.

Soulmate is what she proclaims herself to be. But out of everything, I know she is suffering as well.

Just as Charlotte sided everything Big did and told Carrie to calm down as he has his reasons. The day he did not turn up at the church, the disappointment on Charlotte was greater than expected. She has grown to have faith in Big.

She's the exact same. She sided him in every way possible and there was once I just sat and stared at her, speechless. She actually did thought and believed that I would have get settled. She believed that he was someone good for me. He managed to make me noticed, stopped, turned after all these years. She said that she already have faith. She put her trust in him and let go of me.

She finally told me that yesterday.

Just like Charlotte hugged Carrie till the break of dawn, cursing underneath her breath and witnessed her turn numb.

So did she. No matter what she has said, I know deep within she still do love us both.

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Bear, the things i said yesterday... It hurts. I'm sorry for having such thoughts but I just needed to find a reason for Silence and came out with the most unexpected one. My friends, they've scolded me for thinking like that... But I guess I did come to point where I don't know what else to think off coz it was getting unbearable. I was too afraid even though I know better. I still am. I guess we both know now, what our feelings are. Things were cut short the other day.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Random Flashes

Its Tuesday... and my weekend is still ringing in my ear.

I've caught myself smiling unconsciously and mentally smacked myself. Everything was too sweet, even the cake and the cookies! LOL! Lili looked good that night. She looked different.

It was a small wedding. A really sweet one. My friend's married. Yes I know alittle late for me to acknowledge that. lol!

Its really funny how some have laughed at me crying at my speech to her. And its funny how some cried along.

I remembered the corner. I remembered the tears. I remembered the reason why it never stopped. I felt the comfort. I steeled my heart and yet, it penetrates through.

Only one has the power to do that. Even from before. Even from the intial beginning. Even from the days where we bounced up and down the corridors. Only one. And I'm unsure if you know that too...

The sky was clear; velvety blue. The stars were bright; like a blanket of diamonds. The breeze soft; like a song. The water waltz in its own rhythm.

I remembered my outfit. How can I not? It looks pink in the pictures.. *screams* I remembered the heels. I actually love it.

I love the brightness of the island across and how it stands out against the dark waters.

I know for sure, my feelings are still strong and have refused to change... I tell myself, it wont matter... coz... miracles do happen, but not to me.