that's like a contradiction isn't it? those 2 emotions. How can one be happy and sad? Oh wells.
Happy. Yes, I was really happy yesterday even though rochana wanna kill me for it. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA. kinda thought that I will get it, and i did. SO THAT'S GOOOODD!! I couldn't stop grinning all day.
got into trouble with mom for overspending last mth. i cant remember what i spent on either besides school books and food coz i lost my atm card rite the other day.. I'm sorry.
times like this, i wish i'm working. I wish that i wasn't a full time student. But there's really no point wishing is there? I've already quit my job and I am here in Adelaide doing my second year!
YUP! that. speaking of which. I'm scared for my essays due in approximately 14 days time. its like.. I'm just scared for it.
the other day, i went to admissions office and asked about postgrad. Yeah, I did asked about it. Postgraduate Law in Flinders. the requirements aren't bad but at the same time, after last december's rejection i'm a little... well. put off. And uni in UK do not offer postgraduate. i'll have to do the normal LLB but that's fine coz its the same. 3 years.
I'm jealous. Oh hell yes i am. of friends in law degrees, of friends who just graduated from paris with a fashion design degrees, of friends who's already ending this journey.
Its funny really, when back then, i was that girl who designed. People had visions of me being someone.
This year, i reacquainted with lots of my secondary school friends online. we're chatting online now. they're all graduating this yr. and I can't help but be sad. I don't know what's gonna happen in my future.
Will I be that lawyer that i've been dreaming my whole life?
I wanna be successful, I wanna touch people, I wanna be famous. Sounds like a Pussycat Dolls song.
I had a plan when i was young. When I was 13 I had a plan. I am still on the plan just alittle rerouted. Some things were never meant to be on that plan. but it did. regret? I don't know. it has happened anyways and there's nothing i can do about it.
And my sec sch friends have assured me to be patient. Coz it will all be worth it. The future will work out for me. Will it? Really? I'm just... scared?
I want to change my life. I will. That's a promise to myself and one i've told my myself to do for my mom.
And on other saddening issues, you. its funny really. just really funny the extend you go to. Sometimes, I don't know what is it that you want from me or out of me. I really don't. You confuse the hell out of me sometimes and there are times that i choose to ignore it.
I'm just frustrated sometimes. yes, with you. But i don't show it. as always. and you, you've chosen to ignore it sometimes, as always. why can't things be easy? why?
PUTTING EVERYTHING ASIDE,
i'm like half way thru semester 1. which means that soon it will be over. and half year is gone! and one more year and i will be out of the bachelor of Arts and doing law. hopefully. and finally.
I'll just concentrate on that coz, I guess, nothing else matters.
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