Did nothing much today... Rotted the entire day at home.. and my aunt was on leave... so i either pretended to be sleeping or make myself disappear in the house and out of her way to escape from doing the chores.. wahahaha.. and i succeeded!!! YIPPEE!!! Muahahahah!!!...

Anywayz, i'm doing nothing at the moment just waiting for the commercial to be over so that i can continue watching CHASE.. i think it's damn funny.. whahaha... the model girlfriend and the hamster.. hehehhee... anywayz, let me update you on what happen yesterday while waiting for the show to be back on...

Let's see.. yesterday.. supposed to go for Voices at Jon's house.... I went all the way to TM to meet the rest (Azi, Mel and Kay) and once i reached there... and met them... they came to the conclusion that they didn't wanna go for Voices since our group will be the only group who will be turning up for Voices yesterday.. so they decided to call Jon to inform him that we won't be coming...

So we ended up only eating our dinner, hanging out at the arcade and accompanied azi while she ate her ice-cream and then went ot NTUC to get drinks.. whahaha.. basically that's all we did yesterday... coz we were kinda desperate to fill our time with activities as we were waiting for the rain to stop so that we can go home... haiz..

Then reached home at around 9?? i can't remember now.. and the first thing you can hear if you follow me home yesterday was my scream.. whahhaha... coz i came home.. and putting my shoes away.. locking the door.. turning off the lights at the door... and TOTALLY UNAWARE that my mom was HIDING behind the wall... so when i walked pass the wall.. that was when i screamed... coz my mom jumped out at me and shouted boo... when i said jumped.. she literally did jump!! and i jumped as well... got a shock of my life.. and i've never screamed like that before in my entire life.. .wahaha.. coz even my cat run to the door there to check out what happen... whahahaha...

ok ok.. time to go... the show is back... MUACKZ!!

Well.. the first person up on my friend's tribute thingy is:
Miss Riana Sufra Bte Kasmuri
Someone I Never Regret Knowing
Well.. Been toking to or rather e-mailing her for the past few days... trying to console her.. dunno whether or not it's working.. whahahaha.. Let's see... How long did i know her... Known her since Pri.4.. So i think it is around 8 years??

The years in pri. sch. are just priceless to begin with... Especially with the battle of the sexes to add to it.. whahaha.. and the girls purposely hates the guys no matter what and for no reason actually... and each of us trying to get the guys into trouble for everything... wahhaha

Things just got interesting ever since you entered the school in pri.4... where we started teasing you with certain guys.. with the R vs. R for R.. wahahah.. that is one thing that i think no one could ever forget... it was like the teasing was cohort-wide.. whahahaah... i think the only reason was that.. you were the new girl in town or rather in school... hahaha..

You were a true friend esp. in Pri.5 when things were not exactly going the right way for me.. and there you are.. standing beside me all the way even though you know that something is wrong but i'm just not telling.. and everything else in school just went wrong.. you were there no matter what.. even though you had probs of your own at that point of time..

Then we were separated in pri. 6... ended up in different classes.. but even then.. we were as close as ever.. still going to each others house.. and talking on the phone everyday after school for hours and got scolding from our parents for talking on the phone soo much even though we see each other everyday in school and we're even in the same CCA!!!.. wahahhaa... those were the days man.. especially when you got the permission to read my diary.. wahahah.. nvm.. let's just not get into those details shall we...

Pri. 6 was not the only time we got separated.. we were further separated when both of us got into different sec sch.. and even now.. you're in jurong institute and i'm in tp... wahaha... And ya.. how could i forget.. your flirtatiousness (is there such a word?).. so much for us hating the guys in pri. sch.. and you end up with them wahahaaha... you flirting standard is one of a kind man.. wahahhaa.. It's shown each hari raya... when you update me with your relationship statuses.. wahhaha... and please dun try to deny it.. hahaha.. and there's nothing you can do abt this.. since this is my blog.. whahaha... And since i'm not that mean.. i shall leave out the details before you blackmail me with somethin... LOL!!!

Anywayz, what ever you're going through now... is just something that you will go through anywhere at any time.. it just happens that you have to meet with this kinda thing at this particular time of your journey... Just hope that you wouldn't give up to easily... coz always know that.. you have other friends around.. one which you can turn to at any point in your life... so ya... I know I never mention this before... same as you.. you are someone that i never regretted meeting and knowing... a truly great friend that i've grown to cherish...

Well... let's see... what did i do today?? didnt do anything much but eat... wahahah...

Went to a vegetarian restaurant to have dinner today... one thing is also a farewell dinner for one of my mom's colleague.. Well.. one think that came to my mind when vegetarian is alll the green leafy vegetables!! ARGH!! those poison!! they should ban those from coming into the country you know.. URGH!!

Anywayz, i had a really hilarious time there just now.. at least this is the first time after the last dinner that i do not need to stand up for human rights.. wahhahaa... Anywayz, i had a great time concentrating on picking up the mushrooms with my chopsticks... hahhaha... and to think that i actually enjoyed eating there.. help!! wahaha.. the only thing i hate about it is that... it's sooo bland.. hahaha.. and you tend to get sick of the food easily... coz everything is either tofu or mock stuff... hahaha..

And my mom's colleague was making fun of the MOCK suckling pig.. i forgot what abt it though... and really enjoyed myself man... come to think of it.. this pple are adults... and they are like soo much fun to hang with.. whahahaa....

and what about yest?? let's see... one thing for sure is that i got my revenge... manage to catch up on my sleep... YIIPPPEE!!! hahahahhaha... then i lazed around the house the entire day with nothing better to do.. so ya.. whahahahaa.... lalallala.. i believe i can fly... lalallalal...

YUPPEDIE YUP!! Examz are OVER!! WOO HOOOO.... wahahaa...

A closure to yr1 sem2 man... wahahhaa... Just when i was jumping about saying that i finished my year 1 at home just now... My mom had to spoil it by saying that... Its not over as long as you haven't get your results... Haiz... But nevermind... I dun care.. Nothing is going to deter my happiness... I'm just extremely relieve that examz are over... Now only need to wait for results wahahhaha...

Let's see... what did i do just now?? Went to PP with azi, sc and amin to have lunch... Then we planned to go bowling but instead of bowling, we ended up at the arcade... wahahha... It's great wasting money in such a way.. wahhaha... And i have not stopped chewing since lunch... first was banquet, then the muffin, then SC bought potato chips, then azi bought chocolates... OMG!! i think i'm going to vomit already... wahahah...

Then later SC left with her beloved and Amin already left us long ago.. When we were in the arcade... Then me and Azi left to meet Mel at bedok mrt... Supposed to meet him a 6pm then reached there at around 6.45pm... So ya, SORRY MELLY!! hehehe... Then we made our way to mei yan's house...

Seriously, i have no idea why i went there in the first place... Coz i left early and i was sleepy as well as extremely full... hehehhe... Guess what we do there... If you guessed: EATING.. Then you've hit the jackpot... Ate chicken curry (cooked by Kay) and rice... OH man... It was like.. So FULL!! and SO SLEEPY SIA!! wahaha... First time that i really really feel like a pig... Like sooo lazy.. wahahhaa... Oh ya... And Mei Yan's dog is sooo cute... I like!!! whahahaha... Left her house at around 9:15pm and i reached home at around 9:45... Not bad rite?? Only reason was that its easy to go home from her house.. wahahha...

Well... First thing that i'm gonna do as a start of the hols is that i'm gonna get revenge.. I'm gonna catch up on my sleep as much as i can... wahahaha... Which means that tomorrow i'll only wake up when someone msges me.. wahahahaha... Then i'll make plans to go out with my friends... Then i'll see whether or not i can find work... hehehehe....

And during the day when i got nothing better to do.. i shall blog... wahahaha... Coz that is the perfect time for me to do the friend's tribute thingy... Only that i think i shall do it one entry person... So that i dun waste time typing and trying to remember... wahaha... Whoever comes to mind.. BOOM!! S/he will appear on my blog... waaahahahahha... Aiyah.. I'm going mad already lah.. Need to sleep...

YAY!! YIPPE!!

Guess what?? tmr.. is my LAST paper for the semester... yuppedie yup.. you read it rite... tmr's the last paper for the semester... which means.. when semester re-opens, i'm gonna be in Yr2.. damn fast rite?? wahaha... and i thought that poly education is damn long since its 3yrs... but.. its not anymore... wahahaha...

Let me remember what happens yesterday... had tort paper...
well.. what abt tort?? i guess its passable... i just feel like kissing suk ching while doing the paper.. wahaha.. thanks suk ching... for passing me the pieces of paper before the examz... if not.. i think i'll be soo blur during the examz... and sorry for making you wait there for me... but then again.. thankz a million... owe you one gurl!!!

then on sat... stayed through to my words.. i didn't go home late.. actually no one else when home late... everyone was THAT sleepy so.. everyone practically rushed home... wahaha.. didn't even go anywhere to eat first.. anywayz, went to meet my mom and watched movie... MOVIE WATCHED:WALKING TALL It's NICE!!! I like!! It's not because THE ROCK was the lead actor... I dun find him handsome in the first place... i think he resembles TOO Much of an egg for me to like him... whahahaha... Anywayz, its coz the movie is nice to begin with.. wahaha...

Really had fun crapping around with my mom despite me being sleepy and all... It was funny lah.. I laughed till i cry... wahahaha.. went home with stomach cramp sia... laugh too much.... wahahaha...

Well today was MACROECONS.....

I walked into examz hall filled with confidence that i'll win the battle... For the first time, i'm THAT confident of winning a battle over a maths subject... wahahaha.. But.... (Hmmzzz... it always seem as if.. there is always a but... whahahaha...) ANYWAYZ, the freakingly irritating thing about examz is that... you know you know the answer, but then... it never manage to resurface once you're in the exam hall.. well... that is what happens today... only that.. i still manage to complete it... so ya.. i think should be can lah... i think i still can win the battle only that.. i'm left all exhausted and battered.. wahhaha...

Guess what... got another scolding from my mom.... i think she is lonely man... i think she needs a new pet... maybe i should get her another cat as a mother's day present or something.. Coz, last time, when one of my cat was still alive... I never had any scoldings from her... or any naggings... its either the cat was on my side... or she was tooo busy being too involve with the cat... wahahaha... but yeah... now its like... i dunno... but i notice something though... my mom is nagging more now... i mean it is still lesser than my grandmother and i suppose any other parent... but the nagging rate is increasing... last time... it used to be near to never... now its like... once in 3 weeks?? ya.. i think its around there... I think she is extremely stressed... Which also give me another reason on why I CANNOT FAIL ANYTHING!!!

Anywayz, enough about my complaining.. i think i should now round up my preparation for tomorrow's paper... and go to sleep... and later must go home early... cannot get mommy anymore upset.. wahaha.. She's not too happy with me going home late everyday esp during examz week... coz she feels that during examz must come home early and rest... not come home late as usual and in the end still sleeping late.. haiz... i guess... there is some truth in it.. so ya... REMINDER TO SELF: TOMORROW MUST GO HOME EARLY!! (",)

Hmmzzzz.. what shall i blog about???

Oh ya.. had my MBS paper on Tuesday... Hmmzzz. how shall i put it?? It SUCKED big time... and i think i answered the paper.. crapping all the way.. Had no idea whether or not i'm even on the right track... A really great paper to pull your grades down.. hahaha.. which reminds me.. in sec sch.. each time after a challenging paper... everybody will start consoling each other saying that.. "it is a fact that in singapore, the teachers are hired to fail the students" wahahahha... well. i dunno whether or not its true.. but that was one of the most common phrases you'll hear in sec sch... when a person is consoling another.. So ya... i'm trying to console myself.. wahahahah

Later on.. we slacked in the SAR... i have no idea why or what we were doing there... but all i remembered was that.. there was lotz and tonz of singing going on.. wahahaha.. and i was there from the time my paper ends till around 750pm?? and then we went for dinner at macs.. with mel, azi and amin.. it was hilarious.. esp during the Kamsiah incident.. wahahha...

anywayz, today i have no paper... and guess what.. i havent even studied.. i mean got study lah.. but not totally there.. if you know what i mean.. and the best thing was that.. my mom was perfectly aware that this week is examz week.. and she still can happily ask me whether wanna go out and catch a movie... OMG.. wahahaha.. but then.. sadly.. i said.. NO.. whahahaa.. which obviously i know my mom was kinda disappointed... but then again.. ITS EXAMZ WEEK... parents dun ask their children out.. esp not at this kinda week.. rite?? hehehehe...

My next paper is on FRIDAY.. haiz... another paper... its like getting closer and closer to my funeral or something... coz.. i totally have ZERO confidence in it.. at least there was a tiny bit of confidence in crim and mbs.. and yet.. i still find it hard... what abt in a paper that i have no confidence in at all??? Totally dead i tell ya... and the thing is.. i cant fail.. at least i wont let that happen... but then again.. haiz...

What excuse am i going to give to my mom this sem?? I cant think of any.. OMG... I didnt have an excuse last sem.. i dont have a valid reason this sem.. HAIZ... I'm so gonna be in such deep shit this time round.. argh!!.. Anywayz, enough of this desperation of trying to find excuse.. :P

Before i pen-off... i wanna wish someone happy birthday.. and that person is... AMIN...
Yo AMIN!! Happy birthday... Turn 18 already ah... growing white hair already?? hehehhe... anywayz, good luck in whatever you do.. and hope that you wont be sooo stressed out... remember... your examz finish already... so chill.. yarhz?? heheh... keep smiling... and enjoy your day!!

Can this be true? Tell me can this be real?? How can i put into words what i feel??

Exactly my point.. tell me.. "can this be true?" In a blink of an eye, tomorrow is my second paper... As in, its already exams week... "Tell me can this be real?" Please... Someone.. Anyone.. I beg of you.. Please tell me that this is all a dream... A BAD BAD dream.. that i'll wake up one day and realize that examz is still in 2weeks time and not having my 2nd paper tomorrow.. "How can I put into words what i feel?" First tell me, what exactly am i feeling?? I think most prob anger.. Anger at myself for taking this semester too lightly... and doing some other things when i could have used that time to catch up on the stuff that i've missed.... and not miss more things.. if you know what i mean...

But then.. Am i regretting?? WAKE UP NAD~!! Stop fretting over things that has happened and there's nothing that you can do about it... There are just certain things that you have to learn from.. I guess this is one of those times... I just truly hope and pray that I would not have to repeat any subjects.. and one that i am particularly worried about is MACROECONS... This is not funny i tell ya.. It has the power of murder me there and then... The POWER OF MACROECONS... is just tooo great for me to handle.. wahhaha...

Talking about 2nd paper tomorrow... Today was my first paper... And it was CRIMINAL LAW... The first taste of Criminal and i hate it! wahahha... i mean.. it was a challenging but do-able paper.. one which i don't think i'll do well in.. A really great way to start the examz... Feed the students with something totally unexpected.. wahhahaa... Let the students get the taste of torture.. rite?? Anywayz, enough about today's paper... what did i do today??

Oh ya.. after the paper, instead of going home to study like all normal students... I met Mel at TM and we hit the arcade.. wahahaha... well.. i just have to get use to defeat i tell ya.. especially when i keep losing at the moment... But MEL... let me inform you something.. One day... I'll win you!! One day!!! Most prob after the examz or something where i dont have anything lurking around at the back of my mind.. whahaha.... Later on... had dinner at BK with Mel, Azi, Kay and Amin... Bitched around like nobody's business... esp Kay... the bitchiness coming out full force today... then still can say she miss me.. Tsk tsk tsk.. hahahaha

And tomorrow is MBS... Well i hope that my paper tomorrow will not pull my coursework grades down... Coz i wanna see at least one decent grade in the result slip... :P Well.. time to hit the books now.. I can practically hear the books calling out my name... Nooo.. I think i can hear it singing... "Say my Name.. Say My Name... lalalalla" Not bad.. MBS textbook is singing a rather known song.. Proves only one thing... MBS might not be THAT boring afterall huh... wahahaha.. (",)

Someday i wish upon a star..

Hahahha.. i tell you.. i think stress is getting to me.. one day i'm all patriotic and the next is that i'm all oldies?? hahahha... Just that at the moment i feel that i need a life.. wahahaha... but the think is.. i dun think i need a life.. i mean... its not like i've been mugging all day long trying to memorise.... but thats the prob... i cant even bring myself to try and memorise.. if i cant try and memorise...it just shows that i havent try to study.. wahahaha... and as before.. i can hear the books crying out my name softly.. trying to draw myself to it.. and get engross while it tells the story of TORT.. wahahaha

ok ok.. i'm turning cuckoo.. wanna know why?? coz i cant seem to figure out.. why i'm sleeping late when i'm not even studying... well.. i know what you're gonna say, that its coz i'm busy blogging and doing everythign else that is not suppose to be done during the period of pre-exams week.. wahahah.. well.. i got no defence for that...

anywayz, i've not been typing proper blogs this past few days and i think most prob will not be typing proper blogs for more days to come... hahahhaa... its the dunno-what effect that drives you crazy and typing stuff that is not properly organized in a way that it is suppose to come out...

wahahaha... anywayz, here i am wasting my time away... babbling over and over about nonsensical stuff when that is exactly what i should NOT be doing.. so ya... before i start talking to myself on this blog entry... i think i better pen-off..

CLEOPATRA (96 b.c.-30b.c.)
You are like the Egyptian queen Cleopatra VII. You
know what you want, and you get what you want
and if you dont. .You have a black heart, you
dont even care about your brother. You have
immense durst for power. It is easy to you to
get a relationship to the other sex, you are
attractive nevertheless your nose is big. When
your father will die, you will kill your
brother that you can dominate what he left. You
will be together with very influential people
and they will really love you. One time someone
also very influential will hate you and take
you as a enemy. This person will ruin what you
created and take you to prison. Someone, who
loves you will kill himself for you. You dont
want to live like a prisoner . And younormally
get what you want. So after 12 days you will
kill yourself by putting 2 cobras on your
throat.


~Which famous suicide would you be?+8 different,long results and pics!!~
brought to you by Quizilla

Sometimes, National Day songs makes the most sense...
For EG: There was a time when troubles seem so far away, but we did, there was a time when people say that singapore won't make it but we did.. The first sentence in bold, well.. have you ever wished to return back to the time when troubles seemed so far away?? Coz, honestly, there was a million times that i wished that when i opened my eyes i'm back to that particular time where troubles ARE far away... and all this is just a dream... Its not that i regret my life.. i never do... i have cherished every minute of my time.. and enjoyed every moment... meeting who i met... and doing stuff that i do.. but there are also times when you just wish that ya... all this is just a dream.. be it bad or good... nobody cares.. but everybody hoped that it was a dream...

Haiz, i'm at a loss.. i'm speechless.. i'm in amazement... and i'm confused... coz i dunno what is it about and who is it for... But one thing for sure is that i'm just glad that this semester is getting to an end.. i'm just glad a new semester to a new year is going to start soon... i dunno what kinda person i've been this sem... but nothing good has come out of it i think... just hope that i'm a much better person next sem... that's all... But if i'm still the same.. well then... there's nothing much that i can do about it...

Finally law advocacy is over... hahaha.. today was the finals and i was the emcee for today together with Suk Ching... hahhaha.. Damn funny sia.. and how did i get involve?? don't ask me.. hahaha... i remembered the time when i wrote an entry stating that i would try to be more invinsible and not volunteer for anything anymore... but 2 days after writing down that particular entry, vit asked me whether or not i wanna be the Emcee for the law advocacy preliminary rounds... and i straight away said yes... wahhahaha... so much for me trying not to volunteer.. hahahaha... and i was emcee for most of the trial to finally today... the Justice Shield Law Advocacy Competition Finals

Anywayz, it started out find... but after the 10 minutes break, there were lots of changes that makes both me and suk ching turned cuckoo and blur for awhile and then, that was when the mistakes occured...
It started with me pronoucing the soccer team's star striker's name wrongly.. from ruthra to rathra... well.. i guess it wasnt that bad as compared to suk ching who accidentally called Mrs. Kurup, Mrs. Kumar when she wanted to invite her to announce the winner's of the justice shield.... wahahah.. it was hilarious.. the entire lt just erupted in laughter when we started pronouncing the names wrongly.. but somehow i didn't feel that embarrassed... most probably it was because i very thick skin already.... wahahhaa

Finally, all projects are done.. so far.. i'm left with my Arts App project which is a skit that we have came up with.. basically its suppose to be a comedy entitled Strictly Prohibited or is it No Rules?? hmmzz anywayz, its about a family with two extremely strict parents and 2 daughters, one of them is not rebellious but just to get on the parent's nerves she will do anything, while the other daughter is obedient but turned rebellious in the later part of the skit which resulted in their parents killing themselves.. Its truly hilarious...

Guess what role i'm playing?? nah.. i'm not the daughter.. hahahah... i'm the mother.. a cleanliness freak... wahahahhaa and the husband is a commando... even better.. wahahhaha.. its farnie lah.. we just cant keep a str, face each time during our rehearsals.. Besides that, i have no other projects...

Haiz, certain are just damn frustrating lah.. sometimes, i dunno whether to say sorrie or not.. and even better, sometimes i dun even know whether or not i'm in the wrong... so many things have happened.. i'm just sick of it lah... I mean.. what am i suppose to do?? Certain things are just not for me to do.. coz when i do it... the outcome will just be worst... which basically means, i just can't do it... and when i dont do anything about anything.. a different interpretation will be given which also in the end result in the same outcome = BAD!! I mean its not a win-win situation where i can pick either one and do not have to worry about the consequences... i mean its true that whatever you do has consequences but then... nvm.. i'm confusing myself....

At times, I'm just truly speechless.... taken aback... but what can i do or say?? you're like that.. and i know that for a fact from the start...

12th April 2004...

I dunno whether or not you'll be reading this... But just wanna say Happy Birthday to you... hahah 18 already huh?? so old.. can see the white hair already.. wahahah... Well.. would love to go out with you guys to celbrate your birthday... but then... i'm perfectly sure that none of us are free... me with examz around the corner.. you with your design workshops and madeena with relationship problems as usual.. whahahaha...

Anywayz, sorry that we cant celebrate you b-day with you today.. will make it up to you some other day... coz i think your b-day present is already purchased.. hehehehhehe

Well... there's nothing much to blog into this paticular entry.. coz i dun wanna spoil the birthday annoucement with an entry that is gonna drip with sarcasm and nevermind... so ya.. Hidayah!! Once again.. Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your day today.. yarhz?!?!

what's wrong with me?? haiz.. there's so much time.. and i waste it?? then when its late... you say got no time... haiz.... haiyo.. i tell you... i'm getting from bad to worse... it's just plain horrible... i think i've start studying... but the thing is.. or rather the problem is... the word "I THINK"... omg.. i seriously need someone to slap my face and give me a long nag.. or rather just some scolding...

Oh ya.. sorrie.. you know who you are... and why i'm saying sorrie... because i know you're angry and angry with me... but for a reason i do not understand.. but nevertheless... i'm sorry

hahahah... truly enjoyed myself today... wahahhaa..

Compared crim law test answers with siok lan just now.... Well.. there were lots... correction.. tons.. of questions that both of us had different answers... haiz.. but nevermind.. i think i'll be fine.. wahahahaha...

Anywayz, after crim law test, went to Miss Lim Poh Bee's house... Class Gathering... even though not alot of our classmates turned up for the gathering.. at least the population just now was more than the normal number of people that turned up for the past gatherings.... Really had a great time there... catching up on each other's life... or rather bitching around.. wahahhaha...

Supposed to go home... but got sidetracked starting with playing congkak with miss lim and later we played taboo... cool game.. must play it more often.. waahhaa.. its truly hilarious especially when you hear all kinda descriptions that sprout out of others in desperation to describe what was given to them in hopes that they did not mention any of the words stated there... wahahhaa... must ask miss lim to bring that to school and can borrow it from her when we got nothing better to do...

Tmr my mom's going KL... and she'll only be back on MON.. so sad... hahaha.. haiz... will have the entire house to myself... :P... even though my aunt is around... she doesn't count for being someone who will really really scold me.. coz... after nagging for 30 minutes and i still don't listen.. she will give up and allow me to go and do whatever i wanna do.. wehehehhee....

Now, the fun is ALL over.. and its time to get back to studying... haiz... its like... just when you got away from reality and start having fun... it just ends extremely fast and reality just hits you back harder each time... lalalalallaala... anywayz, i'll end my entry now.. need to re-type my tort things

Haiz, i promised myself not to go near the computer.. or maybe go near the computer.. but don't blog.. but obviously.. once connected to the computer.. i just can't seem to pull myself away from typing away into another blog entry especially when i am perfectly aware that i have no idea what the hell i'm suppose to blog about....

The thing is, before i log onto blogger, i had something in mind... and once i've come to the create new post page... the thing that was lingering around in the corner of my mind just seemed to vanish into thin air.. There is just too many things stored in this small little things called the brain... Things that are worth the brainpower to remember or things that are just a wastage of brainpower if you wanna continue remembering it... coz.. its a waste of time...

This entire week, people have been approaching me and asking me "why on earth is my face so black?" Soome thought that i'm upset with someone, some thought that i'm just having a bad day while some thought that.. hmm i dunno owhat the other some thought.. because i think that particular other some.. didnt even approach me at the time when my face was "black".. well.. how am i suppose to answer that particular question of theirs?? I dunno whether or not i should answer it in the first place...

There was one entry where i wished that i would have all the answers in the world... but right now.. i just wished to know and be aware on whether or not things that i do or say is the right thing to do in the first place.... Being insensitive... that is the issue.. am i insensitive?? or am i sensitive only that i am not sensitive the way you want me to be?? what do you think??

Fingers and mouth of mine have gotten into trouble so many times with the thing called insensitivity.... Let me ask you.. does the sensitivity level of a person varies from each individual?? Therefore, how would you know whether or not you've been sensitive enough to a certain person's feelings? What is the reasonble level of sensitivity for an average person???

This month has just begun, but i've been getting into endless troubles.. Not because of anything big.. the thing is.. i've been getting into trouble because of the smallest, minute things... One incident was not too long ago when i just reached home and put my phone on the table, it slided off and obviously fell to the floor. That triggered of the first scolding that later linked to the next scolding... and the following one... I know the main reason is that she doesn't want this particular phone that i'm using to spoil.

But please, why is it straightaway? it's just a phone sliding off.. and the scoldings were enough to make me realise that you doubt my sense of responsibility... enough to make my heart break... enough to make the tears roll.. I know you're going through a difficult time at the moment... but i havent managed to spend time with you... you're the only one that i've got... the only one that i can turn too each time.. after a long day of frustrations in school... we share everything.. that i dun mind.. in fact... i cherish our sharing moments..

The only sense of comfort.. is when we tok to each other.. you telling me your worries.. and me telling you or rather complaining to you about things... we keep secrets.. secrets that no one else knows except us... secrets that contained problems... things that none of the family knows... things that you always keep them from knowing... things that you will tell me when you are feeling helpless... things that i thank you for telling me...

I know you're worried.. you're frustrated.. coz you do not know what to do.. you do not know what is going to happen next... both of us are alone if we face the world without each other.. both of us have friends... but certain things.. you just need someone that you can truly trust with to share... I've been trying not to get on your nerves... i've been trying to keep away from your paths... I've been trying to clear the paths that i've messed... looking back to double check whether or not anything is out of line.. but, when you scold me the way you do... Seems as if.. i dont cherish things that you give to me... i dont value my possessions... when that occurs, i'm at a loss having no one to turn too.. but just stare at a blank page of a diary as tears wet the edges...

lalalla.. i'm sick and i'm tired.. so basically.. i'm just sick and tired... of what?? WAITING!! ya...

Anywayz, today... went to wacth TP Talent Search Finals... well.. some were awesome.. some were just ok... some could have done better... well.. there is always a next time.. rite?? hehehhe

Let me just put all this fun part of poly aside... The thing is... My examz is in 2 WEEKS!! and i have not started yet... well, yeah... i have kinda started on something.. but its not enough... exams is just around the corner... Waaaa!! *Sob Sob* Ok.. i think the next time i'm going to update my blog is after examz... or most prob.. earliest... is after my tort deadline... hehehhehe

you know what... things are just great....

First it was the printer that failed me... coz at first it ran out of black ink... then the stupid printer just refuses to print in other colours just because the stupid black ink is empty...

Secondly, my computer BROKE DOWN!! Damn!! it broke down on Friday night.. leaving me with no computer for most probably the rest of the week.. just nice... i mean how considerate can the computer or technology be rite?? especially when it knows that it is the only form of communication between me and my friends after school hours..

The link for me to do my project and online meeting with my groupmates... and obviously.. i had to kill my social life this week just because the freaking computer just killed itself on a fateful friday night..

And the thing that is even better is that... on sunday... my aunt went out.. my mom had to meet her client.. and my granduncle came to fetch my grandma back to malaysia coz my cousin (Actually he is my uncle.. even though he is only 24 yrs old) is getting married in August... (yes Suk Ching.. another wedding.. hahah) and i was left all alone at home with nothing to do.. no computer to accompany me the entire afternoon... and soon to be the entire week...

A word of advice to everyone out there... TECHNOLOGY IS UNRELIABLE!! It just turns its back on you at the most inappropriate of times!!! ARGH!!! DAMMIT!!!

And how did i manage to write this particular blog entry?? coz.. here i am in school... typing away when everyone could have typed theirs in the familiar surroundings and in the comfort of their favourite chair at home..

Haiz... things just gets better and better... At first i thought the future was rather bright... But obviously, nothing is predictable and things have to take an unexpected twist.. The change in events just make the future rather gloomy and bleak with the possibility of me having to leave things that i've grown to love... But then again, i have to look on the bright side.. it is just a possibility...

hahaha... guess what.. today was april's fool.. and it was not happening.. wahaha.. as in nobody played prank jokes on one another...

And omg.. i am seriously getting grumpy and cranky for no reason.. when i mean no reason.. i mean NO REASON... coz all the possible reasons just doesn't to fit at the moment.. :P.. Maybe i should indulge myself on all the cases that are available rite now in my bag or prepare for my crim case facts scenario.. or maybe i should type out the script... hmmzzz..

Had peer appraisal for tort just now... well.. one thing i've learnt from the peer appraisals.. is that.. i seriously need to wake up and start doing something.. and short term memory is definitely bad for a person.. especially for a student who have lots to do... coz it will just result in me being a bad group member for my future groupmates...

Blocking emotions outside the house is so easy.. with friends to act as a form of your distraction.. and once you reach home.. your barrier just melts away... you wall just crumbles... leaving you unprotected... and one thing that is definite at the moment.. i think i hate myself rite now.. so ya...

Wahahaha.. i better go to school soon.. have tort at 10am.. and its 8.42 now... hahhaah.. and why am i blogging and still at home?? Ans: I decided to skip lecture... whhahahahaha

And since i posted extremely early this morning on the topic: FATE... and i shall let that be the official topic for today.. hahahhhaahahha....

Fate: why do people always give that as an answer?? I mean its fine for you to give that answer after you've done everything that you can do and yet the it still turns out wrong.. or the results are just beyond your control.. then most prob.. yes.. you can say "It's Fate.." But like i say in my previous posting, i just can't stand when people says that it's fate and there's nothing you can do about it.. don't be surprised.. but there are still people in this world that keeps giving that excuse and just refuses to do anything to make their lives better and later blames everyone around them instead of seeing that its time to do something when some things goes wrong..

I used to have a cousin.. hmmm.. wait a minute.. its not used to.. i still have the cousin... wahahaha.. anywayz, this relation of mine... hmmzz.. how shall i put it?? believes in the stars??? As in, if their future is predicted... they will believe that it is true.. and if anything goes wrong.. when i mean anything.. its anything.. they will just say.. Oh its in the stars.. i mean don't you get frustrated when you listen to things that they continue going on and on about... esp. when you feel that it is just totally plain dumb...

Well.. maybe i dun believe in predictions.. but hey! isn't predictions suppose to be telling you what you can expect... i mean even though it might not be true and might just be 1% accurate... and if the prediciton is a bad one.. isn't it a call for you to do something about your life.. as in.. it is YOUR life to begin with... you have the power to control decisions.. the power to make choices... the power to make your life better...

why stop it just because some dumb prediction says that your business is gonna collapsed... I mean if someone gets that prediction and is really worried about the business... they would do everything in their power to make the business prosper even more.. rite??? not just wait there and do nothing and later when you business DO collapse.. you blame it on the prediciton.. tell me.. where is the logic in there??

And then you blame everyone.. you blame everything.. saying that life has never been unfair to you.. and you wonder why is god so cruel to bestow this upon you.. but think.. would god actually wanna give you all the goodness in life when all you do is nothing and leave everything up to fate???

and i better go to school NOW.. or else... DOOM!! wahahahaha

Finally managed to edit the poem that i deleted ages ago i think.. wahahaha..
Even though I have no idea whether or not this is better... i did the editting all by myself.. wahaha.. finally had all the time in the world to stare at it... but still needs practice.. wahaha

I'm tired of running
i'm tired of hiding
you think i'm avoiding?
oh please.. stop exaggerating

I used to think that
it starts from inside
but now I know how wrong
I was from the start
Coz I'm not as blind as a bat
Failing to see who is breaking from your side
Trying so hard to be free
of all the misery and suffocation
while you're on your shopping spree
indulging yourself on the occasion

Why O why do you have continue?
cant you just start on something totally new??