Hide & Seek
Its funny, really, the things I resort to just for that one person. Never once have I ever have to hide from anyone and hope that I was as clear as air. And yet, I still do it...
I'm not the most humble person around. I think I'm quite arrogant. My pride and ego is always so high. And yet.
I really have nothing to say. Do I feel like shit? yeah. I guess I do. I'm now the friend. Fine. But yet, I am still the one that can't be seen.
How does it feel really? To have the one person (besides your mom) that you cherish more than your life depart for a foreign land and there you are, present but hiding behind a ticketing counter to see him off. Not even sure if you can see him personally before he flies off. Because you're just not suppose to exist. At least not anymore.
This is not a plot i took out of the recent Korean Drama series i'm watching. this is real life. This is mine.
With arms folded and listening, one can only imagine the fear within. I was scared, I was on the verge of tears and I was sad. Its been such a long time since my guard went up that high. Its been such a long time. One can practically see a great wall of china built right in between us as he stood right in front of me.
It's weird saying goodbye. It really is. I've never said goodbye to friends before. Especially not him. I've never been good with goodbyes. I can't seem to say anything. I'll just keep quiet and stay as far away as possible.
I hate the idea of pple leaving. I hate the idea of going away.
I am sometimes afraid of the things I will do to overcome that.
Patience Nad, patience. Nothing stays rock bottom forever. You of all people should know that better than anyone else. Haven't you learn that? your whole life?
Dear God,
Give me the patience and strength to keep it in.
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I hope you've reached. Safe and sound.
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