The One of A Kind

Guess what my mom told me today.. what she says really shock me lah..

Just now siok lan came over to bake cakes for the orders that we received over the week.. last week... so ya.. helped with the baking also.. then helped her with Access in preparation for the Online Test which is tomorrow... hehehe... anywayz, after she left and before i went to jalan kayu to meet her again for dinner...

I was singing and singing at home.. practically making lots of noise lah... i think i sound like a wounded cat or something.. wahahaha.. anywayz, ya.. my mom was trying to make me keep quiet lah.. but obviously me being me... continued singing like nobody's business and nearly destroyed the house.. so i was singing and asking my mom to help me comment lah... ask her whether ok or not.. and how should i sing better?? stuff like that lah...

Then she was like.. i think you should train yourself and go and sing more malay songs.. as malay songs are more difficult to bring then english songs... then suddenly she was like.. you have to feel the song.. sing with emotion... I dunno why.. but you are blocking yourself from allowing people to see your true feelings...

and i just stared at her in shock.. i'm like.. wat?!?! i'm blocking my feelings?? since when?? then she was like ya.. you are blocking yourself from emotions that you are afraid to reveal to others... then i just stared at her in shock and speechless.. wahahaha.. seriously got nothing to say.. and what she said really got me thinking actually... i think there is some truth in it... or maybe there is lots of truth in it... i dunno... that is when i realised...

That i have not shown my feelings to many.. i have guarded myself from showing all kind of emotions in certain situations.. why?? i guess by showing feelings sometimes makes me feel vulnerable.. not being able to be in control of a particular situation... so.. i guesss that explains it i guess.. i dunno...

Oh ya.. it's not that i wanna quit.. I just feel like quitting.. but its just a feeling.. obviously something that i would not do and would never allow myself to do it.. hehehe