There's one person that i've always taken for granted.

Mawarni.

The one cousin that has always been with me from far. The one cousin that I always have sibling rivalry with. Yes, we're close enough to have such things.

We're so close that we're exactly a year apart from each other.

25th October 1985 & 25th October 1986.

Maybe its because of that, that we're so close. Apart from the fact that we're cousins.

We're the same zodiac sign but we're the direct opposite from each other. The one similarity we have is that we're both fiercely jealous beings and we're both super loyal.

But those are the traits of a scorpion. Yeah.

She never failed to sense if something is wrong. She has always managed to cover for me. She has never failed to tease me about the guys in my life. She has also never failed to make have the urge to claw her eyes out sometimes.

At the end of the day, she is one of the few people that I know that would practically do anything for me. Even though we're currently further from each other then usual, she still makes her presence felt.

Happy Birthday you!

I'll see you soon at the end of the year!

Love you always!

Dear Soulmate,

Thanks for finally coming around. I'm still coughing and my voice is still low but I am generally fine! =) and no I have yet to start studying. Heh.

Hope your list is getting better soon. Well, at least we both know that exams will be getting out of the way one day soon and the list will be therefore be getting shorter. I'm glad the huge red soft toy is keeping you company.

I love you too, soulmate. And I miss you tons as well! But I'll be back home soon. Its less than a mth to my first paper and soon it'll be done and I'll be home!

So till then, take care.

And the music video is the perfect ending to an entry. LOL!

Hey you! Yes, you.

what's going on? Haven't heard from you in ages! well, at least it can be considered ages in our definition.

Read your blog. Hmm, don't tell me things are still not settled? Call me alrite?

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So where am I rite now at 9.39am Australian time (which is 6.39am Singapore Time)? I'm at Politics lecture. MUAHAHAHAHA!!! the first one i've attended this sem! lol!! i'm oh so proud of myself!

Guess what the lecture is talking about? Internet Censorship. You know ah, some topics would be the last on my mind to be catergorized under Politics... But ya...

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Now here I am in the library after Professional English tutorial and the presentation which i was annoyed about on my facebook status. Well, I was bent on doing an individual presentation when one of my group members caught hold of me sometime this week and I agreed on doing the pair work...

But anyways, that's done! YAY YAY! And I have fixed my attendance for English with assignments.. so that is goooooddddddddd~~

*bounces about*

I wanna fix politics attendance tooooooo~

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Exams coming sooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~!

SURPRISE SURPRISE

This is abit weird for me to post up here on my blog... -.-

But since I was too free and instead of studying, I entered this:

http://www.exploremodeling.com/Contest/Faceof_ELF_2010/16060/Nur_Nadira_Zainal.aspx

So... (This is the first time I'm saying this for myself.. it is kinda weird...) VOTE FOR ME k?

WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

*buries self*

Topman & Topshop...

COMING TO AUSTRALIA!

like... finally.

Glee Episode 7

Is my favouritest episode so far!!! Woot woot~! Something i can relate too i suppose...

'

Love love this song!

I actually love Mercedes's style! Woot woot!

Until Mel told me this just now, "Don't you think Mercedes is looking more and more like you from episode 3 onwards?" I was like.. really?! hmmm...

Exams coming sooooonnnnnn....

Am annoyed with group members.

need to start studying soon...

Cough is killing me.

Truthfully,

I am worried.

I wonder how badly have i screwed this semester up. Not because of assignments i've missed. more like my tutorial attendance.

This semester passed by in a blink. I'm not sure if i can say a blink.. but ya... i dont think I was about to blink and BAM! I'm at week 10 already.

I've missed alot of tutorials, i think.

Coz of assignments and/or waking up late (or not at all) the day after. and yes, finally, falling sick. i've been sick twice this sem. once upon returning from singapore; flu. and then, now; mild asthma.

So yes. I am... quite worried.

Dunno what i'm doing also la.. like.. i'm so busy.. sometimes i cant remember if i attended class or not. ya. -.-"

watever it is... I need to, at least, pass everything... yeah, even though I hate whatever I'm doing rite now. bleargh~

RANDOM-NESS

Its hard finding a friend who understands, what more a boyfriend rite? So stop asking me if i'm attached or not. If there's someone new or not. seriously.

LOL!

hmmm...

I'm currently doing my essays and the last one of the semester!!! I think. hmm

anyways,

the senoritas are having their jalan raye today and I hope its fun! just kinda sad that i couldn't be there tho! *sobs*

I think my cousin is an idiot. I'm serious. If i were there, she most probably already gotten a tight slap from me. And yes, I mean it this time round. I'm pissed off. Yeah. I mean at the end of the day, when you feel as tho you lose everything, you'll still have your pride. Don't ever lose that. Gosh, seriously, woman? Don't tell me, even that I have to tell you?

I seriously dunno she have brains for wat lor sometimes. Yes, I am really really really... pissed.

on other news, I'm just worried how badly have I screwed up this semester. yeah. *HUGE SIGH*

God, help me~

Of Tears & Heartbreaks...

Hope you're feeling better, really.

I don't know what else to say. I think everything have been said and laid out in the open. Its a choice to be made now i suppose. Its always the messiest thing when parents get involved. Trust me, I know.

I've never wish for you to go through all this. Its painful. Yup, really painful.

Everytime you asked me what was it that you have done wrong to receive all this. I have no answer to that. I've asked myself that a thousand time and have yet to reach an answer. How can I give you one? I've looked at the rest of us and have wondered for the umpteenth time what have we done wrong. And for the umpteenth time, I don't have an answer.

I know you do feel envious of others. So do I, even though I don't admit it. But hey, I truly believe that we're currently in whatever situation we are in because we allow ourselves to be put through this. Loyalty should be banned. lol!

I really hope you're alright. It really sucks that you're there and i'm here and its just so difficult to talk.

It really pains me to see you like this. You're worth more than this. I just hope you remember that and not let anyone put you down.

haiz...

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I am so tired and lazy to do my essay that I am still stuck on bloody Criminal Justice. Oh god, help me pls! Now is really not the time for me to be sick and tired of school work. Just give me the strength for another 2 mths. If everything all fails, then...

Haiz...

I dunno.

Of Festivities, Happiness and Concerts...

Its the 2nd day of Hari Raya... And guess where am I? Yup, in Australia. Alone.

Its the most unexpected flood of emotions. I miss something. Somehow I dont think that it is home that I miss. Its just the absence of something but I cant seem to put a finger on it.

One thing for sure was that there were many tears from the other side of the webcam when I was talking too on the eve of hari raya and on the day itself.

I wont deny that going through this was hard. It did not help that I was alone. Yup. Of all the promises you forgot, you had to forget the one you made for this period.

On the day of Hari Raya, I couldn't cry. I just stared at the webcam and saw everyone trying to put a brave front for me. These are the things that people at home have told me about Hari Raya this year...

• How my house was quiet on the morning of Hari Raya coz nobody had to wake me up through various abusive measures
  
• How everyone have yet to eat even though it was 1pm Singapore time, coz i wasn't around running through the house going at top volume that I'm hungry.
  
• How my grandmother was still asleep at 1pm coz no one was there to bounce on the bed to wake her up
  
• How they only cooked sambal goreng and rendang coz there isn't anyone to complain about the lack of food...
  
• How my mom was the only one still awake at 4am singapore time on eve of hari raya finishing weaving the ketupats
  
• How my house isn't overfilled with flowers coz i went on a spending spree the day before
  
• How my nieces have decided, it is not hari raya if they don't get to meet their aunt on the first day. -.-" I told them, don't be stupid.
  
• How I found out that Deena still emote more for me then I ever have emoted for myself in the presence of others.
  
• How Deena ended up getting dressed coz I was pestering her on MSN and her dad just shook his head smiling when he saw me waiting on webcam and Deena went to find her Baju Kurung..
  
• How my cousins webcam me when they arrived in Singapore before going out so that they can ask me if their hair is ok... Just the way it always happen everytime i'm back home

And by the time we ended the conversations and closed the webcam, I felt shittier and more miserable then when the day started.

Hari Raya as I have realised meant more to me then some i suppose. Back home, Hari Raya have always felt like another day of festivities. Only till I came here then I realised the things that I've been doing every year for nearly 20years when Hari Raya is around the corner.

The lack thereof was definitely... upsetting.

I definitely miss

• The smell of cookies baking on the weekends when I wake up (it has reached a point where I wake up here and I thought I smell things baking from the kitchen and then I realise.. who the hell is gonna bake in this house other then me?)
  
• Weaving the ketupats on the eve of Hari Raya at high speed and every year my grandmother will get on my nerves (no idea whether on purpose or wat) about her surprise that I know how to weave the ketupats and where on earth i've learnt it from
  
• The smell of home cooked food on the morning of Hari Raya
  
• Disturbing my cats with the veins of the leaves while taking a break from weaving the ketupats
  
• Trying on my Baju Raya again to see if I have lost any weight since.
  
• Trying on the Baju Kurung my aunt makes and constantly going into her room and telling her too big la, lopsided la, cut this, cut that, why like that? till i get chased out of the room by the end of the night...
  
• Going on a spending spree for flowers at the nursery and bringing it home to my mom's annoyance coz I spend so much money on something that will last only a week, tops. And my retort will be, "nice wat. my money my wish ah!!! i cant decide what colour rose and daises I want then you like lillies wat! So I must get it also wat!!" - but seriously, 150 on flowers from nursery is definitely a hell lot of flowers even for my house.
  
• The yearly tradition of running to the tv at 10pm with the coconut leaves in hand on the eve of Hari Raya to plonk myself in front of it and watch Salam Lebaran on Suria.
  
• And then the one thing i miss most would be hearing the takbir rite after breaking fast on the eve of Hari Raya. It has always been humbling hearing it. This year, knowing consciously it was Hari Raya and couldnt hear it at the exact moment was hollow. that's the only way to describe it.

But but.. i think by next year, i'll get used to it.. I will have too.. if i'm not going back. but then again, if every one is in singapore for Hari Raya by the time i start working... I would be on leave and back in Singapore during this period rite? yup yup.

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BTW, I'M NOT GOING FOR BEYONCE'S CONCERT TONIGHT! HMPH!!!! COZ NOBODY IS GONNA GO WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They said that Beyonce is too expensive! Coz the only tickets left are the Gold class tickets, silver and bronze sold out can. I swear Adelaide can be so weird sometimes, why cheap tickets sold out first also I can't fathom!

HMPH! I sadded lor. You know how much I wanna hear Beyonce sing Halo live? ALOT!

Deena! where you when I need you to go to Beyonce with me? haiz. you confirm will go one rite? haiz.

Glee

This drama series is my new past time apart from Big Bang Theory and the new season of Gossip Girl...

I love love love love their version of Gold Digger as compared to Kanye's original obviously... hmm..

Here it is:



And I think the character Mercedes is such a joy to watch.. And with someone her size, it is surprisingly pleasing to watch her dance. Love love love this scene!! Attitude! You go girl!



Seriously think its something worth watching... People should make more of this kinda bollywood worthy tv series.

High School Musical was a hit.

Now, Glee. *nods*

The vocals in Glee is definitely awesomer then some of HSM.

So yes, I am officially proud to say that I'm a... GLEEK!

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Btw, this is totally random but I think Taylor Lautner looks farking hot as Jacob Black in the New Moon trailer. YUMMY!

LOL!

Guess What Arrived This Morning?

Kuih Makmur, Kuih Tart and M&Ms Choc Chips Cookies, Card Raya, Other Miscellaneous stuff and my GREEN PACKETS!!!!!!!!!!

haiz.

Confirm my housemates wondering what on earth is going on back home. Yesterday I received a small package. Today I received an even bigger one... -.-"

THANK YOU

Guess what came in the mail today?

4 Hari Raya Cards from my cousins in Malaysia.

I thought I was gonna be fine. I started grinning from ear to ear. And I opened it, and tears started falling.

I'm gonna miss you guys this Hari Raya.. Do a fashion shoot for me aite? =)

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin! Kalau ader terkasar bahasa, tersilap cerita, tersakit hati... Harap dimaafi! *muacks*

RAMADHAN

has ended for me.

YUP YUP!

God i'm so tired and my lower back is aching so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

standing and leaning my tummy against something seems to be the best and most comfortable position and I have no idea why!!

I'm like the walking dead... i'm serious! I just say when I think its time to go home, hungry or pee! sheesh.

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btw, is it me? Or are things really awkward between us? And may I know why exactly?

Of Bus Stops and Scenic Walks...

Many would have known by now that I have moved down hill from Eden Hills to St Marys. But I am still unfamiliar with the buses that goes around my area... I know. Sad. But ya.

So there I was fasting and all rite. On Friday was the first time I took the wrong bus. Or was it Last thursday? I think it was last thursday. i was from Marion (its this huge shopping centre in the suburbs) and was waiting for the bus to go home when the bus 213 arrives.

See. I can take any bus that goes along City via goodwood road.

So I took 213 instead. What I didnt realise was that 213 actually goes City Via Goodwood Road and Daws Road. I am staying on Cashel St rite now. SO.

Daws Road is the main road adjacent to cashel st. So you think what's the big deal rite? I can just take 213, stop along daws road and walk home.

So I only realised that it went along Daws Road when I was in the bus, OBVIOUSLY. I stopped and crossed the road and saw on my left No. 1 Cashel St and on my right No. 2 Cashel St and straight ahead is along road through Cashel St.

Wanna know what's my house number? 128.

Yup. Its approximately 3.5km walk to my house. Its a long winding road steadily going uphill. I can't be bothered to wait for the bus that goes in coz I didnt know the timing.

So yes, I was walking. 3.5km all the way home. Hungry and tired and with the need to pee so bad and the grocery bag that was on my shoulder and my books!!! I couldn't take it anymore that I started eating Hungry Jacks that I bought to break my fast with while walking on that ultra long and scenic journey.

So you would think I would have learnt my lesson by then rite?

No. i didn't.

Yesterday, I took F40 back home. The reason why I took this bus is coz i always see the bus passing by everytime I'm climbing up the small hill to take the bus to uni. So I thought, ok. It passes by my house.

What I forgot was that, on the main roads leading into the City, the buses don't stop at every stop. They're what they call here the Transit buses. Where the journey to the city seems to be cut short.

SO yes, it stops at my suburb. only that it stops at Pasadena Shopping Centre. Pasadena Shopping Centre isn't exactly a shopping centre. Its like a building with a huge Foodland in it (Foodland is like NTUC).

And guess how far Pasadena Shopping Centre is from my house? Yes. About 2km.

Half way through my scenic walk home *rolls eyes* i need to pee. Again. Haiz.

So yes.

BUSES HERE CHEAT MY FEELINGS! Cb.

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So here I am at the Sturt Campus typing this out whhile waiting for 7plus to go for fencing. yes, I have decided to go for fencing today. After going MIA for about.. 6weeks? yeah. its been that long. Oh well watever la.

Btw, I prefer the Main Campus library than the Sturt Campus one even though there is more couches here as compared to the Main one.

But the comps here lag so bad!!

When Hari Raya Haji comes along...


Ever wondered if those kambings could sing? How they would sound like? I just found the perfect video of singing kambing before getting slaughtered!

The Waitress

I didn't know why I didnt watch the waitress when it was out...

hmm...

It made me cry and laugh all at the same time.. yup really like it.. even though streaming it online was a pain in the ass.. lol!

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Everyone back home is asking me what am I gonna do or prepare for hari raya... truth is, i don't think I will be doing anything. yup.

I'm not making any festive cookies... Even though I have grudgingly allowed my mom to send me festive cookies.. *shrugs*

Maybe I just wanna survive here without being reminded of Idul Fitri back home.

My nieces are txting me, so are my cousins.

No guys. I wont be home for hari raya. Won't be back for it for the next 5yrs.

What will i be doing instead? I have alot of essays due soon. So yes.. I'll be doing that instead...

PHOTOSHOP.

I MISS YOU!!!!!!

Why? Coz of this, I was looking through one of my blogs... yes i have a few for different purposes - most under same usernames.

I remembered how much I use to take pictures and edit them with exerpt of poems some from mine and others which I've found online.

Then I saw this.

The one picture that made me smile even when i was editting it... =)

Dont you think my cousins are just awesome? LOL!

Hally, Remember this?

You know wat? There are many many things that I wanna say.

But I dont know how to start. yup.

oh wells.

Life has been somewhat interesting for me. Yup. Interesting. *Smiles*

Maybe its coz of fasting month? Coz the same thing happened last yr as well. lol!

One reason why I like being here... (Most Impt, me thinks)

1. I'm grateful for my roots. For the first time since 5yrs, I no longer wish that I was of another religion or race.

At least nobody judges here. I no longer have to look into a person's eyes being able to read the stereotyped hidden beneath and knowing that I have already been judged and concluded before even given a chance.

I don't mind fighting to prove others wrong. Sometimes, its just tiring. Very tiring. I need a break too.

So I guess, this is my break? =)

Whatever it is, at the end of the day, I know that at least someone cares. =)

If I were to...

have Alex Pettyfer's child....

It will look like this!

(came across the site when i was bloghopping)

DONT YOU THINK ITS JUST TOOO CUTE! I most prob wouldn't be able to stop staring at the child. LOL

OR... If i do have his child. I think my son will end up looking like me dont you think? LOL!