So my mom finally know my results.. And i had to think of all kinda means and ways to start a conversation appropriate enough to suit the particular topic.. Well, my mom finally relief me of the agony when she asked me whether or not i've gotten back my results while i was eating.. well at least that stopped me from cont. eating when i had to answer her meekly that i've gotten it back...
Then she left the table and i quietly finish my meal.. and then i was cornered by my mom at the study room when she asked me exactly what did i get... Ya.. when i told her.. i couldn't even look in her eye... Totally got the message that she was not just disappointed.. but she was EXTREMELY disappointed.. she was saying its fine if its a test or sem1 yr1 is still excusable... not when you're already in the sem2 of your coz.. Then she was like.. its time for you to quit playing around and get down to work.. so ya.. haiz.. i knew this was coming..
Anywayz, went to ART FRIEND with my mom to buy some art materials... coz i think i'm going to start painting every available planting pot in the house.. hahahah... bought some charcoal sticks to start my sketching again.. hahaha.. was like touching all the paints.. my mom practically had to pull me out of the shop... hahhaa.. Then on the way to Raffles Place Shopping Centre.. My mom was like.. "I seriously dunno why you didn't choose art"... then I had to painfully remind her that i failed my art.. wishing that she would change the subject...
Then she was like.. "I dun think its just because of that.. i think you gave up is more to the fact that you hated what your art teacher did and it also happens that you choose the wrong thing and the o's results just added to it and that was went you put away ALL your art stuff"... I just kept quiet.. I mean what can i say right?
Its not because i suddenly lost interest.. I mean art was everything to me.. practically my life.. The failure made my world came crashing down and shattered my hopes and dreams.. Firstly, i did not take art elective in sec 3 & 4 to fail during the O's and Secondly, I did it eversince i can remember... Went for art classes since I was in nursery.. got into Yamaha's advance art course in pri. 3.. the youngest pupil in the class... and had to endure all kinda teasings since my artwork was the most childish of all.. well.. i was the youngest to begin with, esp in a class that is filled with pri.6, sec 1&2 students... And that was when i learnt and loved chinese calligraphy.. but i didnt stay long.. coz i was sick of those classmates of mine...
Told my mom all that... also said that there is a reason why i chose literature over geography.. there is also a reason why i studied to make sure that i wont qualify into the pure sci. stream or rather prayed that it wont happen.. and at that point of time there were only 2 choices after sec sch.. JC or Art Sch (fine arts or performing arts).. and me failing art during o's, the disappontment was greater for art than the other sub. that i've failed.. Coz i know i wouldn't be able to go into any of the 2 options that i've set myself for.. And i didn't know what else i'd choose..
Never in my wildest dreams did i expect myself to be here.. doing what i'm doing now.. and when mom asked why i didnt go for the interview at La Salle.. well i told her that 1)I know my results would already give me a slim chance.. 2)I feel that I wouldn't have the portfolio required.. coz i do not do art for fun.. i did it for a purpose.. 3)I took my results as a sign that its time for me to open my eyes and explore other things.. And the reasons why i didnt go for the performing arts interview was because i didn't have any singing/dance/theatre background.. and my mom was thanking her lucky stars on the performing arts part.. hehhee
Now my mom is trying to physcho me into picking it up again.. And i never regret doing what i'm doing now.. coz, it was my choice and no one's else.. And i think the hols is getting more and more boring to make me write such an entry...
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