"Stickwitu"

I don't wanna go another day,
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind.
Seems like everybody's breaking up
Throwing their love away,
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)

[Chorus:]
Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you forever.
Nobody gonna take me higher
I must stick with you.
You know how to appreciate me
I must stick with you, my baby.
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I must stick with you.

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind.
See the way we ride in our private lives,
Ain't nobody getting in between.
I want you to know that you're the only one for me (one for me)
And I say

[Chorus]

And now
Ain't nothing else I can need (nothing else I can need)
And now
I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me.
I got you,
We'll be making love endlessly.

I'm with you (baby, I'm with you)
Baby, you're with me (Baby, you're with me)

So don't you worry about
People hanging around,
They ain't bringing us down.
I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts.

So don't you worry about
People hanging around,
They ain't bringing us down.
I know you and you know me
And that's why I say

[Chorus x2]

If a person were to ask me right this moment what i feel like saying and to who it will be said to..

I'd just turn to you and say...

You. I need to talk to you. Its been awhile since we talked. We need to talk. Just call me.

Somebody made a comment. Maybe its true.

Yes, i miss you on various levels.

I miss last time. I miss last year. I miss last month.

It seriously is driving me crazy.

What's going on?

I thought i'll be going on hiatus.

I was sooooo determined about it, until today came about.

I was so stressed out that i know i'm gonna blog later in the day and here i am.

Guess where i am? its 7.30pm and i'm still in the office, NO WHERE NEAR leaving. lol!

My boss has left for the day and is on her way to the airport to Chicago for her Conference. I AM STRESSED.

Doesn't mean she leaves, i can go on holiday man... She just realised today that she doesn't have my number. I was like OH OH! YOU REALISED?

She asked me to save my home number as well! Guess what i told her?

"Seriously? I mean if i'm at home and you call me, there's really nothing i can do since the files are in the office anyway..."

I know. I deserve to be smacked in the face. Who talks to the boss like that? wahahahaha.. ME.

Then she made me save my HP number in her phone... So i was like...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" *proceeds to running around the office*

Just as she said bye to me... I was like... "Oh man, now i really don't have any other means of running away!" and... *PIAK!* she smacks me on the arm and gives me her goofy face before she sashays out of the office...

That is AFTER she says this: "Remember ah, Any mistakes, i'm gonna call you straight from US. So you'll get shot at since you're the last person to touch these files"

And then i just stared at her.... with my eyes WIDE OPEN.

And she was like, "Oh don't worry. We're too far away to cause any fatal damage anyway."

And i gave her the death stare as she waved goodbye to me for the 3rd time.

Now i shall resume in sending out the meeting confirmation slips, as my boss is now at the airport.

PAULA DEANDA (ft Baby Bash) - DOING TOO MUCH

I'm leaving messages and voicemails

Telling you I miss you

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

Why you tryna diss me

When I just wanna kiss you

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

Tell me what's the issue

Who I give these lips to

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

This is turning into

Something I ain't hip to

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

See you got me all alone

Waiting right here by the phone

For you to call me,

Just to hear

Your voice tone

I keep on wondering if you was even

Feeling me,

I keep on wondering if

This was even meant to be

Tell me imma waste of time, boy

You showing me no sign, is it cuz u on

Ya grind, cuz you're always on my mind

I keep on wondering if everything you said was true

I keep on wondering if you were really coming through

Now here I go again blowing you up,

And my girlfriends keep telling me

I'm doing too much

Now here I go again blowing you up,

And my girlfriends keep telling me

I'm doing too much

I'm leaving messages and voicemails

Telling you I miss you

Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me

When I just wanna kiss you

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

Tell me what's the issue

Who I give these lips to

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

This is turning into

Something I ain't hip to

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

I'm out with my girls tryna have a good time

And you know I'm looking fly tryna meet sum other guys

But it gets hard sometimes cuz there ain't no one just like you

I try my best but I can't shake this thing u got me going through

All i can picture is the color of your eyes, and the way u make me smile

I ain't felt this in a while,

But I came to a conclusion that this is pure illusion

Chaos and confusion but I'm not gonna let it ruin

The way I feel about myself cuz I got self-esteem, sometimes I

Wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy

The way I feel about myself cuz I got self-esteem, sometimes I

Wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy

I'm leaving messages and voicemails

Telling you I miss you

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

Why you tryna diss me

When I just wanna kiss you

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

Tell me what's the issue

Who I give these lips to

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

This is turning into

Something I ain't hip to

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

[Baby Bash:]

Just leave ya name and number

And I'm gon holla at cha

Just leave ya name and number

And I'm gon holla at cha

Just leave ya name and number

And I'm gon holla at cha

Just leave ya name and number

And I'm gon holla at cha

Ronnie Ray all day

Women in the hall way, Ev day losing track of the people tryna call me

Don't take this the wrong way, I been having long days, doing it, moving

Round the town wherever I'm getting my song played

Now here I go again blowing you up,

And my girlfriends keep telling me

I'm doing too much

Now here I go again blowing you up,

And my girlfriends keep telling me

I'm doing too much

I'm leaving messages and voicemails

Telling you I miss you

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

Why you tryna diss me

When I just wanna kiss you

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

Tell me what's the issue

Who I give these lips to

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

This is turning into

Something I ain't hip to

Baby am I doing too much (too much)

I can feel the difference... can you?

Met Azi and Mel yesterday after work at the airport... Its been a long long long long time since we last met... and i obviously happen to kidnap azi's cammie!

But of course i can't put up the photos here yet... coz, i have not received it from her!!! WHEEEEEEEEE~!!!

I hope we'll meet up soon... it's really been awhile... and i guess the stress on everyone's mind is what are we gonna do next?

haiz.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!!!

I met Hally on Saturday after fencing. LOL!!!

Met her at Pasir Ris and i was, of course, late. lol... I had fencing in the morning and then i realised that i forgot my ez link so i went home to take my ez link, bathe, change and rushed to Pasir Ris.

So when i reached Pasir Ris, i called her la rite... Then walk walk walk... cannot find her lor! i was searching for her everywhere when i realised that, she was standing at the pillar there outside the MRT station.

SO TAK VOGUE. lol!! She bun her hair down there... waahahhahaa... I shall not state what she look like lor!! WAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

We went to Pasir Ris beach to chill. Sat and talked and talked and talked and talked. LOL! To think that we have not met up for only a month. Just imagine we did not meet up for like... 6mths... or a year.... or.. OMG!!! *faints*

its time like this that i wonder, how will it be if i went overseas. I won't have anyone to bitch with me, do stupid things with me, to annoy me (vice versa)....

I wont have any forms of partners in crime. THAT IS SOOOO SAD!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I've met the girls on Friday, i think i've mentioned it here the other time....

Conclusion: I think i've become meaner this year. lol!

Ok maybe not... lol!! I'm just afraid of alot of things that gets me into an auto bitch mode which totally not healthy for myself and the ones surrounding me. muahahahaha...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Perasaan yang tidak pernah ku rasai telah memenuhi diriku
Kadang kala gembira, kadang kala bimbang and kadang kala takut.

Aku runsing.
Apakah yang dibimbangkan?
Apakah perasaan ini?
Aku takut untuk bersemuka dengan perasaan yang telah ku simpan rapi.
Apakah yang telah menggangu ketenteraman diriku?

Aku inginkan sesuatu yang agak lama tidak ku rasai.
Apakah sebab perubahan ini?
Aku inginkannya kembali. Sesuatu yang belum puas ku nikmati.
Aku tidak pasti... apa lagi yang harus aku lakukan?
Mungkin... aku merindui suatu kenangan, suatu tingkah laku yang telah dapat mengukir sekuntum senyuman di bibir.
Mungkin...

Apakah kemahuan ku keterlaluan?
Terlalu banyak soalan, tanpa sebarang jawapan.

haiz.

You know what happens when you've reached the realm of desperation?

You try to find means and ways to get out of this shit hole.

Why cant anyone just understand? Why cant i just be left with my own decision? Why do you have to cut me off like that?

Aku kebuntuan. Apakah aku terlalu bodoh? Aku hanya inginkan waktu. Aku hanya mahukan kepercayaan mu. Aku hanya mahu diberikan kebebasan untuk memilih masa depan ku.

I'm about sick and tired of things.

Tidak terfikirkah kamu bahawa aku juga mahu yang terbaik untuk diriku?

Sometimes, i ask myself. Why didn't I have another sister or brother? At least...

HAIZ!

I WANNA SCREAM!

Tears fall so easily this whole week...

Can someone just hold me and just hug me?

-----------------------------------------------------

I should jut go to sleep already. Its so warm man!! I have work tomorrow. argh. my thumb is purple from my blue black.. and i have another huge one on the back of my hand. Peter is so gonna get it from me the next time.

I trained with him on Saturday... He whacked me so hard i actually teared in my mask. Sheesh.

-----------------------------------------------------

I want to do so many things. I want to explore the world. I want to touch the sky. I want to find myself.

But there's always things in my way.

-----------------------------------------------------

Yes i know. this entry is filled with tons of Is and MEs.

Maybe i'm just feeling selfish rite now. Whatever la.

I've finally gotten round to sending my camera for repair. No thanks to my cousin!!! *smacks nana*

Yup. I was on 1/2 day leave yesterday.

It was a really peaceful day. I needed yesterday.

"I'm sure its just menopause"
"And then the other thing was... you..."

I love you. Always remember that.

Ps: I send something to you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Met the girls just now for Dinner/Supper. Its been awhile huh? lol!

I hope you guys are surviving with whatever it is that you're facing.

You girls can do it! Jia you!

And hidz, don't stress yourself out too much la ok... I've never seen you like that in a long long time... you constantly have tears threatening to fall...

And Deena, stop acting so demure and all ah... and as though nothing's bothering you...

It was nice meeting up today... 2 weeks felt like a long long time. lol.

And yes Deen, i like my current friendster photo... but i still think i dont recognize myself. LOL!

-------------------------------------------------------------

And i cant believe i'm still awake. i should just kill myself. i have fencing in about 4 hrs which means i have to wake up again soon... argh.

-------------------------------------------------------------

TODAY WAS AN UNEXPECTED WAR.

People usually have Monday Blues... i just cant wait for Monday to be over. Usually, Mondays determine how the rest of your week will be.. the shouldnt have Friday the 13th... the should have bad luck mondays instead. Bad luck mondays usually are more happening than Fridays.

*shrugs*

Things was flying, words were thoughtlessly hurled, tears were rolling down her eyes and anger in his.

I could feel the pain.

The scenario that unfold itself in front of me was too real... too vivid... just like some memory i've put away.

I was undoubtedly traumatised by the entire affair.

It was pure madness, childish outbursts, insults... everything.

I, however, was caught in the middle. I seriously don't want to be apart of it. I seriously didn't want to get involved. I did not want to see it if i have the choice.

I thought meeting up with my cousin would distract me from it. But i thought wrong.

I'm traumatised and speechless beyond words. Its like everytime i close my eyes, i see the replay of it. Everything was too familiar.

I could still feel my heart beating so fast. I wouldnt be surprised if i have nightmares. I'm just greatly affected by it.

Its not destressing outing that i needed. Its tender loving care. Just basic tlc. I just needed some assurance.

I was scared out of my wits. I was speechless. And i still can't seem to get it out of my head.

And i wouldnt be surprised if, tmr comes, and i'm still in the state of mind i am in right now.

I'm currently looking for something to distract me out of this state of mind.

Help!

Pleaseee...

WAH LAU. I'm farking tired and i know i cant possibly fall asleep anytime soon...

WHY?

Coz i promptly fell asleep after i reach home from training just now and woke up at 8 pm.. with my entire body aching. i found 5 blue blacks on my right arm. oh well... what else is new... lol!!

Not so bad la... 7 hours of training.

And i have fencing tomorrow at 1.

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

i have no idea whether i can even wake up or not tomorrow...

Remember when i told you that my left ear is in pain now? Not only is that pain is causing discomfort in my ear... its also causing me to feel pain on the entire left area of my cheek and also i can't open my mouth to chew!! its sore lor!!

i don't even know why...

its damn painful la!!! Mom asked me to go to the doctor yesterday.. but i had training since 8 in the morning... so i didnt have enough time to make myself better. lol...

OK I BETTER GO TO SLEEP ALREADY.... i have fencing at 1 and i'm sure i'll get slaughtered by everyone there tmr. i can sense it. i can feel it in the wind..

lol...

----------------------------------------------------------

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

I miss my best friend
I miss my darling
I miss you

----------------------------------------------------------

Oh and i met Azi on FRIDAY!! wahahaha... that was farnie lor... but i was damn tired la... sorry azi if i'm like stoning there... and can you please remove that ugly pic of me from your blog!!

PLUEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

What happened on the first 5th Saturday of working here? we had lunch and guess what else me and sc did? WE TOOK NEOPRINTS!!








Introducing to you... NSC. the one stop channel for entertaining, bitching and complaints.



I told you i have scandalous pictures with her! LOL! you all don't wanna believe rite??







We're gorgeous!






Act-cute v. 2.1




I WANNA TAKE MORE NEOPRINTS! with other people alsooooo!! pweeaseeee~!!

I give up. I'm just gonna let it be. (even though i know i wont be able to do it very well - letting it be i mean. Silence from you worries the shit out of me)

I hope things will be better soon. I don't know why. Actually, i don't know anything.

I was worrying out of my wits and it seemed that my worries was not put to rest. I shouldn't think too much. I swear it spoils some things when i get paranoid.

And yes people! i am capable of getting paranoid. lol!

But still... Oh well.

Anywayz, some people (some of my colleagues) think that i havent been sleeping too well.
I think i need a break.

Some knows what's gotten into me to make me in such a state.
I worry too much over various matters.

LOL! I think age is just catching up.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I am falling sick.

I tell you i tell you, the amount of it i take at night is no joke. If i'm bloated this few days also not surprising sia.

Can you believe it? I even dreamt of being on leave. I guess that just shows how tired i am. Everything else, doesn't really help.

My muscles ache like as though wanna fall apart like that... but not as if i go fencing at night also. Wonder why... hmmmm...

Somehow i have this feeling that i wont be able to wake up on Monday morning. As in, won't be able to wake up at all.

I wonder will boss kill me if i actually fall sick on a Monday?

------------------------------------------------------------

Oh you know wat, i have yet to post up the pictures from my Sungei Rengit Trip with my colleagues on Good Friday.

So i shall do it now, since boss is in KL and she already called to give me instructions when i reached office just now. hehehehe...

so i shall take this opportunity to show off my colleagues and our outing.

Be prepared world for what you are about to see will be so extravagant you wont know what hit you. (RITE.*Smacks self*)

Suk Ching used to complain on how the both of us never go out together or even take photos together when we know each other for the past 3-4yrs. So below is evidence that ever since we work together, alot of things has changed. LOL!!

One thing about this friendship is that, we're very affectionate people. LOL! But i am not comfortable to show my affections to her in public. She obviously is comfortable with showing me her affections. Oh well, You know i lurveee euuuu rite SC??? LOL!!!

But please ah pple... we're both very straight people totally involved with other people of the correct gender! lol!! But then again, lesbian tendencies (once in awhile) cannot be helped la...

*dies laughing (Wait till you guys see my neoprint with suk ching.. lagi scandalous sia LOL!!)*

Anywayz, enough about us la... But still, the next picture is of us also!! lol!! She stayed over at my place remember? with the initial thought of staying up all night to watch K-Dvds. But i was the one who ended up watching it since SC (like all other people who comes over) promptly fell asleep once she found my Winnie the Pooh!

But we're still very energetic people. SEE!! Being the resident "efficient" secretary... i filled up forms with SC as my "efficient" assistant.

So let me introduce my colleagues to you guys: (from back to front) The one in green no need to say la.. you all also know who... Then there's Joanne, Alden (in red) and right in front is Nick (our resident Mr. Enthu).

From left to right: Wendy, Fiona (the last time i ate seafood was her farewall dinner) and then the both of us.. or as Wendy puts it "The Ultra Siao Char Bos"

Below is our ENTIRE Accounts Department. They don't usually appear so well behaved. Therefore, this photo is highly deceiving and misleading. lol!

Introducing to you our resident uncle and part time daddy. WILLIAM! lol.

So i decided to test my camera skills since its been sucha a long while since i camwhored and take various pictures... no, my cammie has not recovered. William has transferred responsibility of his camera to me for that day.. MUAHAHAHAH *Cues lightning and thunder*

The sea is a great place to ease your mind. When everything else goes wrong, just go to the beach it helps.

Yes SC. i will edit this photo and the very for your ok? *faints* When i have the time. LOL!

It was a long wait at the terminal, at long ferry ride there and by the time the both of us reach there... WE'RE FAMISHED.

Don't i just look deviously mischievious to you? LOL!!!

I GOT MY COCONUT DRINK!! It was damn hot lor!!!

Lobster in Marmite and superior, respectively.

And i better continue this some other time before i spend too much time here. LOL!

I am feeling fine now. RITE.

Anywayz, on a brighter and lighter note,

I AM ON A DIET. I'M ON STRICT DIET!

yup yup. i am determined to lose all these fats... *looks at self* Yup, it definitely has to go away.

MUAHAHAHAHA~!!!!

And then i can accompany my cousin in whatever modelling escapades she wanna go... not as if i'm not wanted like that wat!! wahahhahah... double the action, double the demand


WAHAHHA

OMG I CANT BELIEVE MYSELF. *Faints!!* Dream on Nad! wahahhaa

Oh well..

*Does a vogue pose*

*falls on the floor and starts laughing*

Sometimes, by reading this entry, nobody believes i'm depressed rite?

I can't believe the dam somewhat broke today.

Today went by in a blur of activities.

Its so hazy i'm not too sure what happened.

I'm somewhat affected by a lot of things today.

Calling you was something i did unconsciously.

Hearing the sleep induced voice, guilt struck me... hard.

I thought to myself what was i doing? disturbing someone sleeping so peacefully like that...

And when your voice came through, my tears fell.

I couldn't hold it back, the entire day was bad.

I couldn't seem to tell you when you asked. The tears just can't seem to stop.

Why am i disturbing you? What was i doing? Questions ran through my mind so fast, again everything was a blur.

Your voice so familiar, so close, so near, so calm, so comforting. I couldn't stop myself.

I'm sorry for today.

There are times that you feel so separated from everything else.

Don't you get it?

Somehow i have this feeling that somethings amiss.

Is she unhappy with me? Is there something wrong? Why do i have this feeling that she thought that i meet my friends every time i go back late? Why is it that there's an unspoken tension?

I got it before, but don't tell me right now that its still the same issues?

There's nothing but silence.

I swear i'm affected by so many things right now.

I don't think i can just keep it inside. I'm tired. I can't be that strong person anymore. Every strong person breaks down and cry once in awhile.

LET ME FALL SICK! PLEASE!

So that i can stay at home by myself and nobody really cares.

Its a different thing if you're sick and nobody cares you know. At least you know, that even if you complain, there's nothing anyone can do about it except the doctor, if you intend to go. If not you can just continue to torture yourself.

Its a different thing if you're sick and make mistakes.

Its a different thing if you're sick and you disappear. People will just say that you need a break.

WORK SUCKS TODAY.

its only 11.11am. i need somebody to save me from work today.

I feel like crying at my incompetance sometimes. I just realised i forgot something last week. How the hell am i gonna cover my ass? argh!! Stupid PH!

I'm done complaining about stuff. But i realised that i've never even started.

Sometimes, I think i'm too kind for my own good, too patient for my own good, too whatever.
Yes. I've been annoyed for the past few days by the ignorance of various people.

I've been meeting my cousin for the past few days coz my aunt wasn't in singapore. lol!! The outings was crappy la... especially yesterday! *wiggles eyebrow*

i know what you were trying to do and i appreciate it.

I AM MORE CONVINCED THAT I AM NOT EARNING ENOUGH.

I should have been earning at least 2k by now, like all my other classmates and not earning a fresh grad's pay.

I have too many financial responsibilities. i swear its not funny for someone my age.

Yest i was calculating what i die die also need to pay... I MUST AT LEAST HAVE 500 BUCKS IN MY BANK EVERY MONTH (with or without a job) TO SUSTAIN ME (that is inclusive of transport, food, phone bill, miscellaneous expense, fencing).

However once you include putting aside some for savings, insurance, and some other things (cat food, etc.), it came up to about 700 - 800 bucks a month. And by next month, i need to start giving my grandmother the money she needs to do something... so that will be an increment of 80 to 100 in my expenditure list.

If this is me, by myself PER MONTH. Can you imagine if i'm actually married with kids?

I WILL ONLY GET MARRIED IF I EARN 4.5K or somewhere along those lines!!! Maybe my lifestyle is a little extravagant. BUT I DONT THINK SO LA! i seldom get to pamper myself lor.

*Screams vulgarities in various languages*

------------------------------------------------------------------

Sidetrack: OMG! William got the Braun Buffel wallet!! But i still like the other one i saw... feel like getting it... maybe shall get it for... Hmmmmm *ponders*

BUT I STILL HAVENT GET MY 20TH BIRTHDAY PRESENT! Maybe i shouldn't be so kind. HRMPH!

------------------ End of Sidetrack -----------------------------

Shit. That little sidetrack just showed the world how guilty i am of indulgence. Ok fine. I mean, if you can afford it what are you worrying about rite? And yes, that Braun Buffel Wallet is not expensive... Or maybe not as expensive as anyone else expected it to be.

But anywayz, i need a pay raise, a higher than high increment or i'm gonna just quit and start my own business. LOL!! Or else, i will never be able to continue my studies.

I've concluded, working in City Hall is expensive.

*sighs and walks away*

I am currently not feeling too well...

I am currently feeling quite irritated...

I am currently calculating mentally on what i have to spend on next month...

I think i have to re-calculate my montly expenses...

I'm feeling quite down...

I think next month i'm going on another big expenditure...

and no... i'm not pms-ing. I'm just craving for something else.



I wonder... "what's up?"

Its monday tomorrow again. ha. or rather its already monday. Shoot me someone.

I'm meeting my cousin later.

--------------------------------------------------------------

That was posted yesterday. This is my continuation today, in the office.

BLOODY HELL. Have i ever mentioned to you how i hated Public Holidays? Yes. I HATE IT! i love it when i'm actually going through the holidays... I hate it when i have to come back to the office.

I have so many things to send out today! OMG. I tell you i'm beginning to be able to type fast. I can even type in my sleep.

Trust me. I've done it before. You type soo many things at one go... you just fall asleep at one time and your fingers are still moving at high speed completing the letter. I swear.

THIS IS BLOODY UNHEALTHY.

Its been happening for the past few weeks already. when you think that you cant fall asleep in front of your boss' room. THINK AGAIN. LOL!

Oh ya... One more word i hear about websites. I swear i'm gonna scream. Its a good experience la... but then again... LOL!! i tell you, nobody can imagine the relief i'll feel once 25th April comes around.

*faints*

On thursday, everyone was excited and looking forward to Good Friday.

Suk Ching was supposed to come and sleep over at my place on Thursday but my darling suk ching realised that she has forgotten to bring her passport at 10.15am at work. OF ALL THINGS YOU KNOW! She brought her change of clothes, her toothbrush, KOREAN DVD EXCEPT HER PASSPORT!!

*double faints*

So she ended up going to Joanne's house after work after small boss send her home to go and take her passport. I was supposed to be there also la.. There was a MJ session. But i backed out last minute due to reasons that some cant fathom.

Besides, i left work late anyways.

*screams* I better get good returns working here i tell you!

Went out of the country and crossed the causeway with my colleagues yesterday (friday).

They have this fetish with eating seafood... this is the second time we eat seafood eversince i started working there. i don't know whether will there be more to come. LOL!

Was damn tired yesterday when i reached home. Slept early yesterday.

-------------------------------------------------------

Had the worst nightmare ever! I woke up with a start, crying and the shock nearly gave me an asthma attack. I was so afraid, frightened out of my wits i refused to allow myself to fall asleep again.

It was so early in the morning, i was still tired from yesterday's outing that my eyes promptly shut again only to find myself continuing the dream that i tried to run away from.

It was so real. I really did feel my heart breaking, i really did feel the lost, it felt so real. I remembered thinking to myself how could someone do such a cruel thing. I remembered asking them to stop. I went in desperate search of my phone.

I felt my phone not too far away, slide it open and saw a message.

I read it several times, forcing my mind to register that everything is fine, that whatever i saw a few mins ago was just a dream. I sat right up in my bed and stared right at my phone. I was trembling with fear, trying so hard to control my breathing.

I was too scared. My fingers can't seem to run over the keypads with ease the way they do on other days. I replied, knowing that its not a dream, just a desperate message from within to let you know, if you dont already know it.

The value to me is so great that i fear for it. I don't want to lose it. Its just too precious to me. I will not let anything happen to it. Losing it has become my latest and greatest fear.

But that dream, it hit so hard. I know how much it means to me now.

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I went out today!!! Went to watch movie. Seriously had fun today la... hahaha.. i took pictures!!LOL! Today reminded me that i need to go and repair my cammie! I HAVENT CAMWHORED IN THE LONGEST TIME! I didn't realise what's today's date till i reach home and about to start blogging. It's the 7th.

I tell you.... I've had it with me coming late. I'm pissed off at myself. how sweet is that?

*rolls eyes*

I need to be on a diet! Seriously.

I hate working in town due to various reasons. One the train is constantly full.. And i swear i'm not skilled enough to squeeze myself into a train yet. i think i need at least a yr's experience before i am fully qualified to do such things.

Have i mentioned that my ear is in pain? yes yes... the other time was my right, now its my left. HAIZ!!!

The air in the area is weird. Certain things shouldn't be done too openly i suppose. At the end of the day, it is still your equal here. How would other perceive the situation is something like this was displayed so publicly?

I'm hungry. SO much for me wanting to go on a diet. ARGH! i should just go and bury myself rite now.

If you wanna know what's tiring? The trip to KL last weekend was effing tiring. SERIOUSLY! i reached KL at 10pm and guess what? I was competing the next day at 8.30am.

I was up at 6, coz breakfast was served at 630 and the bus sending us to the sports arena arrived at 710.

I was at the lobby by 710 and why do you think i was in the state i am below? LOL!

JE SUIS FATIGUE!

Just look at the layers i have to put on just to get ready for the competition! I tell you no need to warm up also feel very warm already la... i'm already in my t-shirt and shorts... and i have to wear my breeches over my shorts... chest protector (which i dont wear when i fence with the guys but its compulsory during competition... so no choice), my plastron (its supposed to protect the arm that you're using to fence but i really dont know whether it protects or not la.. i guess it will in times of when your opponent's blade breaks and she didn't realise and she continued charging... so it wont actually go through kinda thing), my jacket. As you can see in the picture below...

I tell you... its was effing hot la! so many things inside there... i had difficulties zipping up my jacket (which of course was loose after i fence 2bouts, talk about fast)

So this is what i look like AFTER putting on everything... Please la.. this is not complete! i still have to put on my electric jacket over my white jacket ok... and there's still my glove... all these i will only wear when i know what time i'm competing and after warm up... coz i need to put in my wire as well...

Don't i just look like a ball to you? SADDED!

There... that's me with my electric jacket still on after fencing a few bouts... LOL! and waiting for the ranking to be out for the Direct Elimination Round.


Anywayz, here's a photo of me in action.. cannot really see la... that's one of the bout where i trashed the M'asian girl. its all good... we became friends rite after bout. LOL!


I was FAMISHED LA by the end of my competition! Can you imagine. I had breakfast at 630am. I was fencing since about 9am... I got eliminated at 3pm and my coach forgot to buy me lunch... so i only had a donut before my bout. I WAS NEAR DYING THERE LA! Then i still have to drag my equipments out of the Olympic Sports Arena because the entire competition end at about 6pm... so i took a cab.. thank god i was with my mom... at least she flagged the cab for me instead of me trying to balance my stuff and all...

so we went back to the hotel, i bathed! i could feel my muscles aching like shit after that... and str. away went in search of food! I ENDED UP EATING AT KENNY ROGERS! YAY!! one of the plus points of going malaysia. Things i cannot eat here, i can eat down there! MUAHAHAHAH!

Don't i just look like a really really really hungry monster to you? LOL! so anywayz, after that i bought drinks, tidbits and went back to the hotel...

Instead of eating and drinking the stuff i bought, i promptly fell asleep and only woke up at about 12midnight in HUNGER! lol. so thank god for the things i bought sia..

So thats a really summarised and optimistic insight on my KL Trip. LOL! Adios. i need to sleep.

I WANNA FALL SICK!

Lol... actually no need to want, i am on the verge of falling sick... my eyes are so painful early in the morning that every time it happens i thought i was gonna go blind.

And i think my ear is giving me problems again.

I'm so tired even boss gets the hint i guess... LOL! somehow, she thinks i'm stressed. Just coz, i didnt make any noise today, didnt laugh today, didnt do anything out of the ordinary.

I was just being the typical secretary behind the screen doing her work quietly and somehow my boss is bothered by that.

I swear pple worry over the stranges of reasons.

Its just that i'm tired wat... don't expect me to go bouncing around the office when i'm tired rite? haiyo.

But anywayz, i'm gonna sleep now. I'm trying to go to work early nowadays even though its failing miserably but she doesn't say anything since i wok ULTRA LONG hours! Trust me. You won't believe the hours i work.

Let me just give you an estimation. If i were to own my own company, at the rate i'm working, i would have had profits spilling 5 times over. Seriously. LOL!!

So anywayz, the new month has arrived and i have spent the bulk of my pay. It was my mom's b-day on the 29th and i bought her a watch from Marc Ecko.

It was the perfect present. She loved it. WAAHAHAHA... even though my colleagues think that i spent a bomb.

Somehow they are under the impression that i am the kind who wouldn't mind paying a certain amount for things like this...

They said i'm some kind of a walking brand advert. Hmmmm... Let's see if i were thinner... i swear i would already be a model at the rate i'm going!! LOL!!! i wish. *rolls eyes*

And that is just my mom's present. They have not seen what i bought for myself. I bought this.

THE NEW CALVIN KLEIN WATCH FROM THE RAY COLLECTION.

I bought the white one. I swear if they see this... They'll be like... OMG, i swear.... or "I HAVE NO COMMENTS". Suk Ching's already planning to scratch my watch. tsk tsk tsk... wahahhaa..

And i initially wanted to get myself this:


The Marc Ecko, "Better off dead" watch

Its cool isnt it? Maybe i'll get that next month... straight off the Marc Ecko's website. Muahahahaha.. Call me crazy or mad, but hey, its a collection of sorts.

Afterall, the things you wear tells your story.

Don't be subtle, be bold. It is a statement afterall.

Sheesh! Its 2.20am and i cant sleep!

Serve me right for waking up so late today!

And i'm actually watching princess hours again... *faints* i cant believe myself sometimes. LOL! hahahaa.. Somehow, i love the show... Maybe its coz of the various issues that i could definitely relate to.. Different setting, same problems. LOL!

My grandmother is in Malaysia and most probably will be back tomorrow. heheheh... why do you think i've been enjoying myself this weekend! lol! The worst part about it was that... NONE OF MY FRIENDS WAS FREE THIS WEEKEND!

So i spent my time with my mom instead. Told her about work and all... I haven't told her much ever since i started working here... i've just been busy constantly i suppose.

Talked about work and its issues. Then i remembered how one topic which was somewhat discussed at work. Marriage.

Yes. Marriage. It saddens me how people nowadays take the issue of marriage so lightly that its just something written down on paper. I dunno why, but i just find it so insulting.

Isn't marriage supposed to be sacred? Isn't it suppose to be some unbreakable bond made by parties that's totally in love with each other that they would want to spend the rest of their lives together and waking up everyday knowing that you're not alone?

You can call me a romantic or an optimist. But marriage at the end of the day is a relationship shared between 2 individuals and like any other relationships, it needs to be worked on doesn't it?

I just can't fathom how society of this time can take marriage so lightly.

I just need to sleep for now... Gotta go! LOVE YA'LL!.