JOURNEYS

Steps. Decisions.

What else are there to think about? Apparently. Tons. One thing i hate about life is that the future is so hazy!

I had a conversation with a friend the other day. She asked me who am i gonna get married to? When am i gonna get married.

I asked myself; have i did everything i've wanted to do? Partially yes. But it is still a long list to be completely fulfilled.

Did anyone watch the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy? Season 7 Episode 10? In that search of love, she made a decision out of the kindness of her own heart. She sat there saying that she'll marry him coz she would be able to help him. Then my tears fell. Someone else would think its stupid of her, but truthfully... i thought it was the sweetest thing ever.

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A Month Later~

I didn't realise its been a month. And today marks exactly one month since I last updated my blog! And i only realised that when someone posted it on my facebook wall. LOL!

School's out. Exams done. Essays Finished.

I'm just currently waiting for my results! oh hell yeah! LOL! I hope i cleared all my modules this sem despite the glitches along the way. I mean I know i'm smart but I dare not give myself that kinda credit you know? LOL!

I'm currently packing. Packing to leave adelaide for Beijing. Many of you would know of this Beijing internship but I think many of you didn't think that I'm going as well. But fortunately or unfortunately (no idea how other pple would see it), i got the internship too!

I didn't say anything initially coz I didn't think I will get it, coz its a highly coveted internship for students all over the world. When I got it, I scream in excitement for awhile but didn't think anything more of it coz it was still a good 6months away. Then I got caught up and was whisked away by assignments, exams and flying in and out of Singapore. When that was all done, its 2 weeks away from going to Beijing.

I'm excited, scared, nervous but at the same time looking forward. This time next week, I'll be spending the first weekend of my 2 months in Beijing.

Just be happy for me people! And pray for me too in hopes that nothing bad will happen there! =)

I'll be back in singapore 3rd February till 25th February. SO pls, if you wanna meet me, its really a first come first serve basis as of now. I mean I'm not trying to make it as though i'm so popular but 3 weeks is not a long time and I still do have to spend time with my family too.. So yeah, i'll have to apologize beforehand if once again, i didn't get to meet up with you guys... =(

So that's what I'm packing for; 2 months in Beijing. On top of that, my housemates are moving out of here next year and they are moving somewhere in mid Jan or Feb when I'm not around so I have to pack all my things coz they decided that they would help me carry all my things to the next house! =)

Despite the dog, I actually like my housemates. They're kind people. They're nice too.

There's really nothing much about me that I can update and I know that i keep on saying i will put up a birthday post but I really forgot about it. I think i will soon. =) and I wanted to do a pictorial post but I left my cammie in Singapore with deena and pics are in Mel's cam. I will do it soon. Maybe when I'm in Beijing and I could walk over to his room and ask for pics. LOL!

By the way, ITS 36DEGREES TODAY AT 4PM! HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT RITE?!?!?!?!

I'm sitting in the dark in my room typing away with the fan on full blast and thinking to myself that i'm gonna evaporate into nothingness.

Love Life: Still can't be bothered. Maybe there were a few but kinda grew bored. When someone interesting comes along, i'm either busy or he is busy. SO YEAH. And again, maybe I can't be bothered to make the effort too. I dunno. To me, if a person like me, I'll know other coz he'll be the one being persistent.. Persistent and stalkerish is 2 different things HOKAY! just to be clear. I already have my fair share of stalkers in my short stint here so far. other than that, don't waste my time. HAHAHAHAH!!

Friends: Made a few more. But sometimes, I would prefer to not have. I don't know. Sometimes, they require answers that I don't usually think about myself. I don't really care you know? Sometimes, you wanna get as far away as possible from the things you leave behind so that you can play by your rules and be successful on your own terms. Make your own life. My friends, my friends are different. Coz they know me that well. Other people, other people judge, comment, dislike and then they demand answers. Seriously? After all that? Who are you for me to explain myself to?

Maybe that's the reason why its hard for me to make friends. But I am anti-social I know that for a fact. Friendship is suppose to be simple. Why does everyone make it so damn complicated? Like all other relationships, its all about honesty. Is that even so hard for me to ask? tsk.

Looks: On to different News, despite growing older. I still look the same. Some still think i'm 18. But no people. I'M 24 AND I'M PROUD OF IT! LOL! seriously, i don't get it why people lie about their age... I don't get it.

Its the same as how some pple think i'm eastern european (french to be the most far-fetched guess of all but i think its coz of the green contacts i was wearing that day) but no people, I'M ASIAN AND I'M PROUD OF IT! hahahaha! I'm proud of my conservativeness in some areas (but seriously, not all asians are conservative ok. Get that out of your head. Have you seen some of them japanese, vietnamese, or thai girls? Tsk.), I'm proud of my highly complicated ancestral line, I'm also proud of the diverse group of friends i have <- that. that you can achieve easily being asian. Coz we love pple that much! HAHAHAHA!

Birthdays: Everyone I know and close with have finally turned a yr older! Its about time too.. its DECEMBER PPLE!

THE MONTH OF WHITE, GLITTERS, SNOW, LOVE, PRESENTS AND EVERYTHING FESTIVELY AWESOME!!

Time to end the year with a big bang ya'll! Age is after all just a number isn't it? You're lying if you tell me that you wake up on the day you turn a year older feeling all wise and shit. -.-" You just turned a year older pls. Not like descend into some kind of enlightenment and got reincarnated on your birthday.

Ok I should stop now before my entries get a little more ermm.. angsty? HAHAHA!

I will write again soon after I'm done packing my things! I need to resume folding my clothes. Just did my laundry! heh. TOODLES! LOVE LOVE!

hello.

Again, its been awhile hasn't it? Hmmm. There's really nothing much for me to say here. I've been so tired I have yet to even blog properly for my Birthday. When i think back with regard to my birthday this year... the more I can't stop smiling. Haha!

What have I been up to? Well... i've been trying to finish my overdue essays. One down 2 more to go. and then i'll be back to the rest of the essays that is due sometime next week or the week after that during my exams.

Exams are around the corner. Beijing in about a month's time. I've gotten my internship details. Am I excited? yeah... i guess so. International Department and Commercial Law. Haha! oh wells. I don't know really! hmmm! i dont sound that excited do i? Maybe I'm sort of worried... yeah maybe!

Anyways, i'm in uni now...

timecheck: 1245am!

yeah! its midnight! time for all you pple out there to give me a round of applause!
HAHAHHAAHAH!!!

I'll give a proper blog entry soon when my brain is functioning properly! toodles!

2+4 = 24. Old? Nah...

1 year have passed and its that time of the year again; 2 days ago. Something happened on my bday that i'm not sure if i was being too unreasonable about it... hmmm.. do i feel guilty for being angry? yes.

Sometimes, i'm just so torn between what is right, what is wrong and what is it that i still have the right to do... confused?

yeah well. let me give you a scenario...

My birthday fell on a Monday this year. I was brought out 2 days before that Monday. The Saturday. Had dinner. Open presents. Went out. Party. Take photos... And then Monday came along and nobody called. and i didnt expect that somebody would assume other things.. maybe he was being concerned. Aiyah. i also dunno..

but the bottomline was that: was i wrong to be pissed/angry/sad/whatever when we already celebrated my bday 2 days before my actual day? should i have just let it go?

but we already agreed on going out on monday... AIYAH I ALSO DUNNO LA!

MOVING ON.

I actually enjoyed my really random birthday presents and the whole of saturday. Food could have been better but then again this is Adelaide, that's the nicest i've tasted so far *contented grins*

Didnt do anything on Monday coz nobody called... till afterwards when I kinda/sortof exploded via SMS. Went to pancake kitchen and ate everything i felt like eating.. it was a hell lot of food. =D

heh heh.

i'll blog again soon about the extend of my birthday.... coz i dont think it will end anytime soon.. =D

Confusion

Someone added me on twitter... yes. For all you pple out there, i have twitter! Hahahaha...

So thi girl found me on twitter and she's studying in my uni, she's malay, she's in second yr, she's from singapore and i actually enjoy replying her tweets.. we're now connected on fb now...

So she was excited after finding me... lol! And she was tweeting me rite somewhere along the lines of.. "AND YAYYYYYY! You're malayyyyyyyyyy"

And guess whats the next line? "You are malay.... right?"

I read that and i burst out laughing in the bus. Its damn fast and extremely amusing how she was certain of what i was only to question immediately... Lol!

Looking forward to the friendship.. and i find her blog enjoyable to read too..

And she looks damn familiar... maybe i've bumped into her at clubs before... adelaide is afterall... that small. =)

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OF CONVERSATIONS AND WORDS

Someone said to me the other day, "When I first met you, i thought you were arrogant."

The entire line never fail to smack me in the face even though its been flung my way ever so often. I know I am the kind that never have the friendly face if I do not smile. I know that for a fact. I blame that to the genetics. Sometimes, I'm fine with it. Coz, the face on its own is able to cut down the number of people who will approach me and talk to me.

So finally, when someone finally talks to me, stupid or not (that's another story altogether), i think they're quite brave. LOL

My friends always say i'm a social butterfly. But truthfully? I beg to differ. I don't really talk much. I don't make the move to make new friends sometimes. I tend to keep to myself. I don't like any form of attention from large groups of people. Oh, and I don't really care what other pple think and just speak my mind. Is that the makings of a social butterfly? I, personally, think not.

so on top of the face and the things that come out of my mouth sometimes where people wouldnt know how to react coz strangers wouldn't be able to decipher if its just sarcasm and laugh it off or that i meant whatever i was saying. Ok maybe i do mean whatever I say whether sarcasm or not.. but you know what i mean.

Do people have the right to be arrogant? I dunno. Personally, I don't think so. Whenever i heck care, pple step all over me, regardless of strangers, sales assistants and sometimes acquaintances. When I do give them my stupid face, i kena arrogant.

Its a "can never win" situation. LOL!

Oh well.

There are some situations that i refuse to let myself down a level. People may think I'm stuck up on my high horses. But seriously, only very few people know what I'm capable off and that few people don't think that I'm out of line or unreasonable for being the way I am with certain things.

I'm always told that God created us for a reason. And based on personal circumstances, I would like to think that the reason of my existence is to break the barrier of any form of biasness and prejudice.

From young, i've always had a dream in mind. That by the time I die, I must have already touch people's lives. Coz, being famous and powerful doesnt mean anything. Loyalty and care for others, now that's another thing altogether. Easy to say.. but seriously, not the easiest to hold on too.

but of course, before i can make that mark (which i dont think i have already), and also to take over the world, I will first need to finish all my overdue essays or else i wouldn't be able to graduate and begin my journey of world domination! MUAHAHAHAHHA *cues thunder and lightning*

So take care all and here i am gonna get ready at 9.05am on a tuesday morning to head to uni and hide in the library.

Beijing in approximately 1 and half months. Oh god help me. What was i thinking when i applied for that internship! I'm excited and at the same time scared.

Calm down nad, you should know yourself better.

P.s: I ACTUALLY FORGOT THAT THIS COMING MONDAY IS MY BIRTHDAY AND ONLY GOT REMINDED WHEN I ARRIVED BACK IN ADELAIDE COZ MEL TOLD ME MY BIRTHDAY THEME! hahahaahaha~!

Now you see it, now you don't.

I have a talent for disappearing. I wasn't aware I was capable of it since recently. No form of communication, news whatsoever. Its close to a month since my last entry and what have i been up to?

I went back to singapore. for abt 2 weeks i think? I wouldnt say that it was a bad thing, i would say that it was a bad time. seriously. Eversince i came back here to australia, all i did was sleep. I'm beyond tired its not even funny, and the worst part is that i have so many things i have yet to complete. And i think i will have to beg my lecturers for a few things now... haiz. terrible me.

my aim is to pass this semester. I'm not putting high hopes like aiming for credits or distinctions coz i know its way out of the picture rite now. yes, i've been screwing things up. *shrugs*

I'm not sure if i'm falling sick or not coz i'm having the worst headache ever! haiz. All i wanna do is sleep.

panic-striken. Yes, i was panic-striken when i reach singapore.

How's life back home? I dunno. I guess, it could have been better. Coming home this time round, to the new house, haiz, it felt as if my adelaide room was even more cosy. I understand why mom was upset. the house is so distant, no personal touch of any sort. it didn't feel like home.

I like the fact that there's more people in the house now though. but then again, i was still the only one making the most noise at home. Hmmmm. Can't people behave normally? *scratches head* then again, maybe thats their normal..

Sometimes, its sad seeing what's back home. Its easier coming back to what i left behind in Australia. At least no one puts on their double faced mask here. Its always simpler without them, knowing that i dont have to please anyone other than myself, know that there is no standards for me to behave when i look into their eyes, no obligations that i have to fulfill.

Do i really have no respect for them? Do i really think that little of them? but they're suppose to be my family. the family my children will have to know (if i ever have any).

If only they all behave like them, it will be a happier time for all of us...

HAIR

this was my hair approx. 6mths ago. obviously its no longer like that now.. saw the similarities? the hair and the print of my tee? lol!

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Scene, Stage, Lights...

Maybe its that time of the year again.

But they've came up to me again and said this, "Nad, I miss you and I miss acting with you and everyone else."

And then it will move on to their conversations of reminiscing of past productions. Is it a sign? I dunno.

But the question is, will i do theatre again or have i moved on from that point of my life? Was theatre just a phase? I don't know. I guess i will never know...

Maybe, just maybe... i will agree to doing a production again for old time sake. And maybe, then i'll know for myself if it was all just a phase...

Awesome!

I'll never get enough of this.. this is just perfect!

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Steps

The steps of a thousand souls leaves a humbling effect upon you. Taken by my trusty Motorola Dext, it has not devalue the picture. i love the effect. maybe i'm bias.. maybe.. i love my phone that much.. Lol!

My lappie's being a bitch now. my trackpad mouse isnt working... i am so annoyed that i take solace in blogging from my phone...

Mel says that techy stuff and me are just not meant to be.. yeah maybe.. i dunno. Time for a new lappie? i hope not. i love my things. i get attached to it.. if its possible i want it to survive with me till i die. able to watch my steps, my stumbles and finally, my victories. haiz.

Hari raya was ok.. not as bad as the previous yr.. sometimes i wonder why dont i have muslim friends from the same region.. but i realised that most malays dont think that i am malay and as a result, no one talks to me. Odd really; this world that we live in. People unite beyond the shores of their homeland and be exclusive and protective of those they speak to and mix with. I dont understand that... I never did.

Freedom of choice is an individual right. Just coz I dont look the same, dont sound the same; it doesn't always mean i'm that different from the next average jane. oh wells.

the human mind have always been a mystery. a puzzle that can never be solved...

P.s: even though you promised to be there, like the prev. years... you weren't. At least you were there the eve of it.. but then again it might just be due to the fact that i needed to borrow something from you. if i didn't need it, i would be alone too wouldn't i?

just like the year before.

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AM I SELFISH TO SAY THIS?

I realised something.

I'm upset about something. I'm not really sure what. Maybe its an accumulation of a hell lots of things.

I clubbed yesterday night, however, i didn't stay over as i usually do. I went home straight. I dunno. Maybe coz I was afraid. Afraid what if I break down and cry and when someone asked me what is it that is making me upset? I dont even know what is it.. heh. How's that for fantastic?

Also, I realised I do not know how to ask someone to be there for me. I don't know how to tell someone. HEY, Can you just hang out with me today... just because? or.. Hey, can i just meet up with you for fun?

I am afraid of showing anyone my feelings. Afraid of being hurt. Afraid of being rejected. So i try. I try to be mature about everything and just suck it up.

I blame it on the fact that i'm the only child.

As a result, i worry more for others than myself. I try to not show others if i'm upset. If i'm affected. Coz, i dont know. Maybe i've always tried to be there for others. I know that other pple have their own set of problems.

Music became my solace in a lot of things. Music. With every beat that thumps in the club; my body moved along with it. With every move; my sorrows, my disappointment, my stress, my annoyance, my worries - disappear.

Anger, frustration, disappointment, happiness, sadness and yes, even love. It tells my story that no one could decipher. which is alright with me, since i'm quite closed up and have no idea how to let others know.

And my private world shines as bright as the sun again. And i forget whatever it is that have been affecting me. I feel that i could conquer the world all over again, make a difference, save the animals, find a solution for global warming! heh.

But yesterday, Music wasn't enough. As the music ended and my weary feet dragged itself back to mel's place and after i wiped the make up away. I stared at myself in the mirror and whatever that is affecting me came through. My eyes couldn't hide it as it came staring back at me.

I felt so alone. Odd isn't it?

So i decided. I needed to leave. Before i actually burst into tears in the wee hours of the morning.

I read people like a book most of the time. I can see it in their actions, expressions, eyes... that they need someone there.. and I will ask them out in my most thick skinned ways. But when it comes to me. I don't know how to be thick skinned.

Sometimes, I just want someone to be there too. But more often than not, nobody realises that I need them. Just coz, I don't know how to hint, ask or even outrightly say that they've been missed. Or... I need a friend rite now.

Coz i always feel that someone will ask me... What's up? And I don't have the answer for it. What if there's no answer, and no one thinks that its not important and they tell me they're not free?

wait. it has happened before.

Didn't i say that i'm afraid? Once bitten, twice shy.

As i left, i hugged mel as usual... But i hung on in desperation almost refusing to let go. And then the voice inside my head spoke, "if you hang on any longer, he'll know some thing is not right." and i quickly let go. But i've hung on long enough for him to realise. All I could say was "thank you for tonight" and give whatever smile/grin i could muster and left.

Reached home. Usually when i'm in this mood, I'll pack my things and go swimming. And do 60 laps before i'll be so tired that my mind clears. But over here, i don't have that option. I changed into my track pants and tee shirt and left the house.

I did the one thing that i hated the most.

I went for a run with my mp3 blasting in my ear.

Now i'm home again. Feeling somewhat better and definitely awake.

so yes.

I'm lonely. I need someone there for me too.

Someone that i don't have to explain everything to.

There. I've said it.

BLURP BLURP

I have added a new dish to my ramadhan menu. Fish and Chips. Terrible rite? How to lose weight like that. OH WOES BE ME.

I shall make it tomorrow. YUM YUM. I HOPE IT TURNS OUT NICE THO! hahahaha~!!!

what shall i eat tonight.. hmmmm...

I'm in uni now. Yes I finally attended my PEACE AND WAR tutorial for the very first time this semester. it was an interesting experience i would say especially with majority of my classmates being law students.. *rolls eyes*

There's something about law students, as i have noticed from poly as well as now, that they tend to behave as if they own the world and that their opinions are the only thing that matter and everyone else is wrong. I've always hated that about the law student. Its an attitude that exist even before they know what is really in store for them. -.-"

Oh and they really think they're the smartest around. i'm like seriously?! Its really rare to find lawyers that are likeable. More often than not, we find those that we just wanna slap them and tell them.. hello? we do not owe you a living. -.-" And then you wonder why you're not well-liked rite? terrible people.

I hope i wasn't like that. And i hope when i finally do that law degree i'm not like that. I think I won't be.. and as usual, i'll stick out like a sore thumb. bleargh~ Oh well, when have i ever managed to blend in anyways rite? LOL!

that's all from me now folks.. i'll update more when i feel bored!

TOOODLESS~!!

A WEEK HAVE GONE BY

Since everyone's blogging about their breaking fast menu, i'm jealous. So i shall join the norm of the homosapien societys and blog about my breaking fast menu.

Its been a week and 1 day since I fasted.. Ok maybe just a week since yesterday i realised i wasn't dreaming. but i really woke up to take my flu medication. Coz when i finally woke up at night.. i found the foils scattered on my table.. so yeah! *POUTS*

Got a scolding/nagging from mommy dearest this afternoon coz she found out i was sick again. HMPH! and i'm out of prescripted medication. BLEARGH.

BUT ANYWAYS,

moving on to other topics.

I had driving this morning and today's lesson was: PARKING. me: -.-"

Ever since a certain night drive to Port Adelaide, i've hated the thought of parking. but then again if i were to have my own car.. i will have to put my car somewhere and not in the middle of the road rite? so i will have to learn to love parking a car. tsk.

I have planned out my breaking fast menu for this week.. sort of planned.

First on the list: WONTON NOODLE!

i'm craving for something soupy! so today i've eaten alittle bit of my wontons!! so happy! i still have a tupperware full of meat still naked. will recook it again either tomorrow or sunday...

I even have dessert today! Saw that my housemate bought cake and i thought to myself; WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THAT I ATE CAKE?

And i can't remember. so coz of that, i concluded that it must have been a really long therefore i would like to have some cake... heh heh

Its a Chocolate Mudcake I bought at Central Market just now. So now, i'm left with half a cake that i am going to keep for either tomorrow or later. See how.

2. AYAM MASAK MERAH AND TOMATO RICE

The reason for this is coz I kept on thinking of tomato rice the past few days. Hopefully i know how to make it. Half the time with me is that... I dont have the recipe for things, i remember the previous taste of the thing I had and imagined how it was cooked and then, i cook it to mine or someone's unfortunate luck.

The reason for the ayam masak merah is also coz i told Mr. Zainal (a.k.a daddy) that I could cook and i am able to cook the abovementioned better than his brother (brother being the unbeatable cook in the paternal family).

Yeah, i know. Ego and Pride is also another huge trait of that family. So yeah, I've landed myself in that situation where daddy would wanna taste the food when i'm back end of the yr so i have to practice to prove him wrong.

3. CHICKEN CHOP AND MASHED POTATOES.

It just that i'm craving for mashed potatoes. So i was thinking it will be abit sad for me to boil potatoes and make mashed potatoes and just it that like that during break fast without anything else. So it got me thinking and coming to a conclusion that chicken chop will be the best thing to pair it with for a complete main course! =)

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so that's all for now, but in the midst of my laziness, i've actually gotten all the ingredients for the stuff. except the chicken for the chicken chop. i cant remember what kind am i suppose to buy.. hmmm *ponders*

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Friend is leaving tomorrow morning and asked me to hang out tonight. And as you all know i'm somewhat unwell. but you know. The last time i saw him was 4years ago. hmmm. I also dunno. hmmmmmmmm. *scratch head*

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I'm currently doing tutorial while sipping on my lukewarm lime juice... yum yum! =D

Random Update

Its been 2 weeks i think since i last posted something here...

I'm not really sure what is there to write about.. i'm tired most of these days... I think its coz my asthma comes and goes.. bleargh. I havent exactly been going to uni...

I know this is kinda of overdue and approximately a week belated.. BUT

SALAM RAMADHAN TO ALL THE MUSLIM READERS OUT THERE

AND SELAMAT BERPUASA MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY BACK HOME!!

I'm checking out flight tickets for Beijing... kinda driving me crazy as well! hmph!

Anyways, i think i'm stressed out about something but i'm not really sure what exactly it is. but i have a really huge urge to spend you know.. even tho i know its really unhealthy and i think thats the reason why i've been cooping myself at home. To reduce the temptation.

I buka out yesterday at a new asian restaurant in the city. I shall remind people not to go there if they wanna go there. its like.. really not worth it la. the food was bad.

I'm craving for mashed potato but i'm really lazy to make them rite now... its like.. so leceh la i wanna go bother myself and make the mash potato. boil potato, put this, put that.. hmmm.. but then again, since i'm craving i might just go and make it.. maybe thursday or friday sounds like a good time to make it.. =)

i havent been cooking much this year also.. i'm not really sure why.. but i think its coz i'm quite uncomfortable in this kitchen. small is one thing, unclean and messy is another.. bleargh.

i'm so thirsty now.. but i cant drink anymore. argh.

i have lecture at 10, i should go sleep now.. but i cant. =(

23.5 hours down and 26.5 hours to go!

That's the hours of driving i need before getting my license. OOOOOOO. I can feel it coming! NEAR!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

so i can't help it. but i'm staring at cars now. HEH HEH.

I'm looking at the Volkswagon Beetle, Puegeot 206, Toyota Celica, Holden Astra and Mazda 3. But rite now, rite at the top of my list is the Toyota Celica.

I'm not usually a fan of black cars coz i think they remind me of mafias. But i think that only applies to sedans.

One of the criteria tho is that it has to be a 4-seater.

Happily only i go in search of cars. Sekali tak dapat. SERVE ME RIGHT!

Choice 1: This is a modified 1997 Toyota Celica. Its been well used and the mileage is on the high side b(appr. 193k kms). Its on a negotiable price. 10k. But I have no idea why i still find it attractive.. the car i mean.

Choice 2: 2000 Toyota Celica. Now, this one is almost new. A really low mileage but of course the price is on the high side coz of that. its a whopping 17,880. But the mileage is 28111kms. I hope the price is still negotiable... So yeah. I'm not really sure how i feel with a white car..

Choice 3: 1999 Toyota Celica. The only problem as of now? Its Manual and i'm learning Auto... Its similar looking to the 2000 series but somewhat different.. LOL! Mileage: 138000. Price: 12k

Choice 4: 1997 Toyota Celica. Mileage: 172, 747. Price: 8.5K. Transmission: Manual

Choice 5: 2003 Peugeot 206. I think this car is pretty. LOL! Mileage: 60,000. Price: 15k

Choice 6: 1996 Mitsubishi FTO. I've actually never thought of Mitsubishi before... hmmm maybe i should take a look at it too... Mileage:108,000. Price:8,499. Transmission: Manual.

Choice 7: 1998 Hyundai Coupe RD FX. I have always like the hyundai coupe from back home.. so i dunno eh.. hmmm.. Mileage: 145000 Price: 7,999. Transmission: Automatic

Choice 8: 1999 Alfa Romeo GTV Twin Spark. Mileage:120,000. Price: 9250. Transmission: Manual. Hmm not bad hor i think... but. i think the back seat like big enough to put my bags and school books only instead of human beings.

Choice 9: 1997 Mitsubishi FTO GPX. Mileage: 67,000. Price: 9,500. Transmission: Automatic.

Choice 10: 2000 Toyota Celica. Mileage: 150,000. Price: 12k. Transmission: Manual.

Choice 11: 2000 Volkswagon Beetle. Mileage: 93,190. Price: 12,380. Transmission: Manual.

I know this is superficial but i think only beetle can pull off funky colours! so i love! LOL!

Choice 12: 2003 Peugeot 206 T1 MY02.5 CC. Mileage: 53,000. Price: 13,600. Transmission: Manual. COLOUR: LIME GREEN! *grins widely*

Choice 13: 2000 Toyota Celica. Price: 13,950. Mileage: 117,600. Transmission: Manual

Choice 14: 2004 Mazda 3 BK Series 1 MAXX Sport. Price: 13,777. Mileage: 113,925. Transmission: Manual

Choice 15: Holden Astra. I am not a big fan of the Holden Astra.. so i'll just show you how it looks like coz i haven't exactly look for it the way i have with the others...

I think thats all i wanna blog about in this entry.. KHEKHEKHEKHEKEHEKH

so i'll leave with this.

Randomization V5.0

My nails are long... not sure if i should cut them or just leave and experiment for the time being.

Leaking. yes. its the time of the month.

Stiff. happens everytime i've recovered from asthma. my back aches i'm not sure if its cramping up.

Guilt. I'm not really sure why I feel guilty. Guilt-ridden. had trouble sleeping this morning coz of that. slept only at 9 i think.

Spot. cant seem to find the right spot on the bed to hibernate. Odd. First time in months.

School. YAY. SCHOOL REOPENS TMR! I am excited. i vow not to miss any classes and go for lectures. i somehow think that the vow will be shortlived.

Cold. The temperature is playing with my mind and the wind is chilling my bones. lol!

Ramadhan. Its around the corner again. a really small corner. Second Ramadhan away, im getting used to it.

Whats the most fatal four letter word? LOVE.

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Lust

Remember how i constantly lust over the Bvlgari Rings? The Unique B. Zero1 ranges which was originally in either gold, white gold or platinum.

Well, this is one. It was in white now it has arrived in black.

This year's B.Zero1 has arrived and its in black ceramic.

18kt pink gold with black ceramic? Its a definite eye candy for ladies or gents me thinks... =P

But nothing will win the hearts of the ladies with the white ceramic. But then again, it really depends on what you wanna project don't you? Image is afterall your aura. =)

Wonderous world

the picture is taken with my motorola dext. i will post up the other pics from the same outing taken from this phone.. i've decided to explore the settings on the phone and it hasn't disappoint thus far.

it was a breathtaking sight indeed. mount lofty, 4th july 2010.

to see the world in a grain of sand
and heaven in a wildflower.
to hold the universe in the palm of your hand
and heaven in an hour..

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GASTRONOMOUS ADVENTURES

tonight's dinner.. lol! its times like this i appreciate the guy's existence especially when i haven't been cooking and have not gone groceries shopping.. lol!

high protein dinner always highly appreciated. I love meat more than rice anyways.. hee. im gonna stay contented the whole night..

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When seasons change and school's out...

My exams are done and i'm officially on hols now.. WINTER BREAK! the temperature's alittle more constant now.. but the rain... oh god the rain.. someone save me!! lol. the wind is deathly when it blowing.. its chilling to the bones..

what will I be up to this term break? hmmm

hopefully i'll be able to go to the zoo... LIKE FINALLY!!

will I be traveling interstate? not sure... but as of rite now, I have no plans for it... yet. =D everytime I think of interstate adventures, can't help but reminisce 2009. the most random occurrence ever. wonder when that'll happen again.. heeeee.. I love my girls. that's for sure..

for now, I'll just have to see what this break have in store for me.. =)

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stupid stupid sun.

its so bright!!! i cant even sleep anymore. or maybe i've slept that deeply that i promptly woke up at 1030 plus plus. but the thing is.. i wanna sleep somemore! Or at least i think i wanna sleep somemore. I'm at mel's place. why? i clubbed yesterday. I couldn't take anymore of South Africa Apartheid.

2 more papers next week..

Hmmm..

how was my public policy exam? I wouldn't say that i did badly.. but i'm not sure if i did well. if i manage to maintain my credit for that subject i'll be pleasantly surprised/happy/insert positive descriptive word. If I got an overall D for the subject, I will laugh so hard for the entire Adelaide to hear and maybe Singapore would be able to hear the faint echoes of it! AHAHHAHAHA. But then again, that's a little too much for me to hope for... i think. =P

Its a very dunno what kind of paper la.. i have mixed feelings about it.

3 sections.

Section A was 5 short essays worth 40%,

section B was "multiple choice" worth 25% (i think i screwed up this section coz some of the questions was fill in the blanks. how that qualifies as multiple choice? I HAVE NO IDEA. the should have made it like Section B. Part 2: Fill in the blanks or something. kns.)

the last question was about commenting, analyzing, evaluating the policy instruments that have been implemented by the Australian Government. 5 issues was listed and we had to choose 2. it was 35%.

I chose the one on climate change and global financial crisis (i did GFC for my policy briefing paper, basically i vomited out nearly everything that i could remember from my essay).

Who would have thought that the day have arrived for anyone to see me typing such a blog entry aie?

Approximately 3yrs ago, i would expect myself to be blogging about my law exams and complaining and whining about it. The overseas bit, yeah well, that was the only thing that hasn't changed from my daydreams. lol.

1 and 1/2 years more to go and i'll be able to hopefully complain, whine, get stressed out by my law exams instead! *waves pom poms to motivate self*

Political economy of Asia Pacific Region on Tuesday. I would like to think that i'm prepared for the paper. coz everytime i read my notes i'm thinking, why am i reading things that i already know from tutorials, readings, essays. I dunno. so confused. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Politics of Third World States on Wednesday. That's my last paper. Its the free writing paper. I'm doing on South Africa Apartheid. yup yup. Don't you think i sound smart typing that? I feel that my smartness have went up a notch just by typing that out. LOL!

I think i'm limiting my essay to approximately 2000 - 3000 words coz i have no idea how long that will take me to write it out manually during the exams itself. So i'm doing the essay with footnotes, type, print, drag to essay and copy it out on the answer booklet that's provided.

I hope that's alrite tho; me bringing in a completed essay.. hmm i mean how else can you do a free writing paper rite with a question of your choice? i missed the last lecture coz i was sick and the lecture wasn't posted up online.. bleargh~ i'm sad. if i cant bring in my essay i most probably will cry in front of my exam venue.

so that's about it with regard to school i suppose. hmm.

On to other topics, what if suddenly one day i announce that i'm attach? LOL! not that i am though.. just wondering what will the general reaction be... HAHAHAHHAHA. that's so random rite?

oh wells.

Seasons may change...

But I?

I may dress and look different to weather the storms

I may be vibrant for weeks and dull the next to adapt accordingly

I may be forgotten but on your way back you might just bump into me again

I may achieve my dreams and bask in my successes

but...

I remain rooted.

Despite all the years, the steps, the changes; beneath it all i'm still the same person you once knew.

P.s: I'm going to start watermarking my photos coz i've realised that some people are starting to take the pics from my accounts and claim it as their own.. so yeah.

O moon, how I long for thee?

Last week was study vacation, today is the start of exams. Well not mine anyways, mine starts tomorrow. I have Australian Government and Public Policy tomorrow at 845am.

Am I prepared? No. Actually, i'm not sure.

Truthfully, i have no confidence in this sem actually but i am clueless why my essays speaks otherwise?

BTW, APOLOGIES FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES.

the last few weeks have been hell with me trying to complete my essays and some of you are aware that i fell sick. And i received a week extension for one of my essays. That on its own threw me off my planned schedule! ARGH.

I was suppose to email my public policy tutor some stuff but he's off for a seminar overseas already,

my corruption essay is due today even though i'm halfway through it; its not done.

my public policy exam is tomorrow - i'm quite worried about that coz i actually thought it was Thursday instead of tmr. SO thank god i checked my timetable on saturday! Alittle late but its better than me checking it tomorrow afternoon or something. I've done some of the past exam papers but i'm still not satisfied coz i haven't fully go through my textbook properly. HAIZ.

funny how 1 week can throw you off your entire schedule. oh wells. no point regretting now.

But after tmr, i have approximately 1 week till my political economy exam and 8 days before my free writing paper. so maybe i would fall aslp tmr after the paper and study political economy once i wake up and get that done and over with and then bury myself in the library to settle my free writing paper for my 3rd world politics exams. yup yup.

yes, i'm that tortured this week and last that i actually put on make up to school today to study coz i didnt wanna look at myself in the mirror in library toilet with bright lighting and scare myself. so yeah...

Anyways, this is all for now.. i'm even tired trying to finish this entry.

GANBATTE TO ALL HAVING EXAMS. most prob its just those in Queensland and Adelaide, coz Josh who's in tasmania is already back in Singapore for the hols.. so yeah..

i'm sipping mocha rite now and i have a can of redbull in my bag for emergency rite after this mocha is done with.

and to me: ALITTLE BIT MORE NAD!

Tell me, How true is this?

What men should know : A woman who truly ♥ you will be angry at you for so many things but will stick around.

What women should know : A man who truly ♥ you will never let you go no matter how hard the situation is.

Men obviously know the above really well and exploit it to no end.

SHORT UPDATE

Been busy with school. Its not funny. Exams upcoming, timetable's out and I still have pending essays to be handed up. Yup yup.

Lack of slp. BLEARGH NOT FUNNY. Eversince i left singapore, i havent drank much coffee, mocha especially. but these 2 weeks, i drink at least 2 cups of large mocha everyday in school.

Tired. Seriously, the amount of books i'm reading its like major knowledge overload. NOT FUN.

Driving. I've done 7 hours of day driving. which means i'm left with 33hrs day driving and 10 hours night.

BTW, did any of you realise how fast the days have been passing. dammit.

I have lost track of dates a long time ago. Basically, ever since i've been lacking sleep to do essays. I only function on today, yesterday, tomorrow, last week and next week.

Ok. i'm going to wear my socks. its 630pm now. i'm taking the 7pm bus to the city. need to unwind. been doing often. its the only outlet for me. truthfully its cheaper than watching a movie. I will blog about it more on why.

And you know wat's the best part? My essays usually form itself the following day and then suddenly everything makes sense. So I know what kind of studying person I am. i can't just sit still in my room enclosed within the 4 walls and a room. and its been proven with my essay results this sem as compared to last sem.

i'll update more when my mind isn't occupied with my Political economy of Asia Pacific Region - Asian Financial Crisis Paper.

Ya. smart me had to pick that topic of all things. LOL!

oh wells. byeee

GIRL TALK

you know, being a girl, there will always be situations where there will be someone attempting to get to know you.. correct?

but you know wat's worst?

the fact that they got to know you, then the attempt to break up with you when there's nothing going on to begin with.

I dunno why, but i've always had more guy friends in certain portions/aspects of my life.. i'm not complaining, coz i enjoy their company... gives me a break from the normal things that some girls talk about. clothes, make up, shopping and boys.

BOYS. sometimes i really wonder, what's so great abt such a topic? I dunno.

Anyways, as i was saying...

while i appreciate their company, there are times that some just can't seem to stay just as friends. I think many of you who already know me, knows that the issue of boyfriend has always been a very non-talked abt topic. Even from when i was really young.

one thing is coz, i'm choosy. i'm really choosy. i know that and it doesnt help that countless people have pointed that out to me as well.. but yeah... I do things my way.

While i appreciate and feel flattered at the expression of interests at such an early stage of acquaintance, i actually find it ridiculous.

How can you be THAT interested in me rite?

While i keep an open mind about accepting friendships (at times, against my better judgement), i have no idea why some people just cant accept the fact that... we're friends.

why can't we just be friends?

do you really have to work to start something? rite from the start?

but i'm not like that. i've never been like that.

But one thing for sure, in any friendship - you have to get to know each other. so in the process of getting to know each other, you will find out certain things about the other party...

but.

guys, they don't exactly listen do they? even if they tell you that they do. So they listen to whatever they wanna listen and come to whatever conclusion they wanna come too.

that pisses me off the most. you misunderstand the words i say just coz you don't read or listen properly, how is that my fault? and why is it that i have to clarify things that you misunderstand? shouldn't it be the other way round?

so one thing, i would say here. if you wanna get to know me, you'll have to accept everything about me. my past, my present and my principles in life.

Why do i always have to defend myself about me?

Coz i seriously cant be bothered to explain why certain things happen the way they do in my life. Havent you realised?

I HATE TO REPEAT MYSELF.

So, stop asking me why am i living my life the way i am. Coz thankfully enough to both god and my mom, i have to luxury to do so. Stop asking me more about my love life when you start getting all suspicious right from the start. I don't have a love life. Stop asking me about my past when you're jumping to your own conclusions from the beginning. My past is part of me. Deal with it.

So i dont know why, i have to be selective about which side of me i have to showcase coz i don't believe in that bullshit.

you wanna know me, accept me as i am.

And deal with that.

Omg!

I've been so busy with uni, you have no idea! I'm so tired and all i wanna do is sleep. Yesterday, i didn't go for my Third World Politics, no, i didn't oversleep. On the contrary, i woke up early on Thursday... But I didn't prepare for tutorial the night before coz I was too tired and when I woke up, I was still so lethargic. I just went back to bed after that.

The previous day, I have political economy rite? I entered class and just sat there. I was so tired, i didnt even realised that my classmate was talking to me until like a full 5 seconds later when i noticed someone staring in my face. All i wanted to do was sprawl myself on the table and sleep, but he just burst out laughing in my face. Like thanks ah.

Surprisingly, i still managed to contribute alot to the tutorial. Proud of myself!! My tutor just giggled all through class... tsk.

so i have an essay due on monday and i wanna go out tomorrow.

so i will try to finish it by tonight. its the seminar paper which i presented on last week and had awesome feedback about it from my tutor. which means, 85% of my research is done, i just have to type it out and reference it. BLEARGH.

I've been keeping myself entertained with something new online which i'm too embarrassed to say it here. so yeah. LOL! soorrryy.. i will i guess one day. i dunno. LOL!

And i joined this facebook contest on iDreamin... in hopes to get a lomo.. here's the pic! Its shot with my Canon 1000D with the new add-on lens that i ordered on E-bay few months back...

This contest is to win a Lomo. SO PLS HELP ME WIN IT.

here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4021533&id=117054736218&ref=mf

the steps are the same if you're on facebook, like the group then you can like my picture!

If i don't win this one... I'm gonna be persistent and join in the next one and be more annoying about gaining voters than i already am rite now...

SO PLS PLS PLS SHOW YOUR LOVE!! THANKS

I WANT THAT LOMO!

FOR MAK TEH

Actually any of you readers can take this as well. But my aunt asked me for recipes online, like rite now and i dont have a soft copy of it.. so i'm typing it here for easy reference.

So here's the recipe for Chocolate Paradise.

The most chocolatey and sinful cake i've ever made. And damn easy too!

Ingredients

200g (7oz) bittersweet chocolate, chopped

250g (9oz) unsalted butter

3/4 cup castor sugar

6eggs, whites and yolks separated

3 tbsp all-purpose flour

3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1 cup almonds, finely ground

Glaze

180g (6 1/2 oz) bittersweet chocolate, chopped

3 tbsp whipping cream

1 tbsp vanilla essence

2 tbsp butter

almond flakes to decorate

Method

• Melt chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water until smooth. Set aside to cool.
  
  
• Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add egg yolks one at a time.
  
  
• Sift together flour and cocoa powder. Add to batter together with cooled melted chocolate and ground almonds.
  
  
• Meanwhile, beat egg whites with cream of tartar and fold into batter in three batches. Pour batter into a greased and floured bundt pan (any pan is fine. the last time i did it, i just used the normal round pan) and bake in an over preheated to 175C (350F) for 50 minutes until top forms a crust but inside is still moist. Leave cake to cool thoroughly in pan before removing.
  
  
• Prepare glaze. Mix chocolate, cream, vanilla essence and butter over low heat until melted. Leave to cool slightly before drizzling over cake. Sprinkle almond flakes over cake.

Apologies to all for not posting up pics of this cake that i've baked. But when i made this, I was back in Singapore during the summer break and my cousins from Malaysia drove in that night and the cake was gone within an hour after they arrived.

so yeah... LOL!

Of Technological Devices!

I'm half way through my Political Economy of Asia Pacific Region readings!! Yay-ness..

Since i'm so stressed out, and i'm here and unemployed! i can't shop! so i've resorted to joining contests on facebook in hopes that i will win something from somewhere. =(

lol! yeah i know, i sound pathetic rite?! LOL! The FCUK contest? I don't think i will win it tho. oh wells, its either i'm not good looking enough or i'm too embarrassed to outrightly force my friends to vote for my picture.

you'd be wondering which picture i've posted? here it is!

Speaking of pictures, MY CANON MAGNIFIER ARRIVED! so yeah, i've tried it out.. loving my pics.. lol! will post it up when i've transfered the pics...

but anyways, i've joined something else! i've been eyeing the sony bloggie eversince its released. This is the sony bloggie!

So this is the other contest that i've joined. So pls pls pls pls... click like k?!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5606625&id=783738676

Time Difference.

(warning: long post.)

I didnt realise till the first weekend of the term break that daylight savings is back. lol! long story short i screwed up alot of things... LOL!

You know, alot of things can happen and change in just a matter of days. For example, in just 3 days i have successfully screwed up my body clock to function in synchronization with UK time or US time slots. Maybe i should go find myself a boyfriend in that continent, at least, i can stay up and chat with him.

I've been so tired that I actually fell asleep while eating just now. how piggy-fied was that rite? Woke up to find my half empty plate in my hands, put it aside and crawled into bed.

So what screwed up my body clock? my politics of third world states that i've been pulling my hair out for the whole of last week. I handed in late, on monday when deadline was on friday, but i managed to get it in early enough for it to be dated friday. so that's good! You have no idea how relieved I was when I found out about that.

so why was my essay late? coz i stayed up the whole of thurs/fri rite, to complete my essay that was due on friday at 4pm (that's like the standard deadline timings) but at 1130am on friday, i happen to fall asleep and somehow at 5pm i woke up to find myself on the bed and that its already 5.

You have no idea how pissed off I was with myself. but now, its all good coz everything turns out alrite in the end. Hopefully, i'll get a decent grade! *prays really hard*

So 2 essays down, i'm gonna start on my Political Economy of Asia Pacific Region soon and the Australian Government and public policy.. can't decide which to start first coz they're due one after the other. bleargh~

That's one thing i've realised. things always have a crazy way of working out in the end. Its just a matter of patience and time. But seriously, who have the time anymore rite? LOL! to be patient i mean.

yeah I realised how alot of things can change with time. 2 weeks can be enough to turn your whole life around. trust me. I know that well enough.

When I was younger, everyone said that when i reach my twenties I will receive my own wedding invitations and friends' weddings that I will have to attend.

Its true. At 24, I realise that girls my age are getting married. While I on the other hand think that its really young for anyone to be married at 24. But I guess, if you're ready, you really have nothing to lose.

Mom asked me when will I get married. Question of the century me thinks. Everyone asks everyone that now...

Truthfully, marriage never crossed my mind before. It crossed at one point about 2years ago, but right now? nah... I don't think I'll be getting married anytime soon... or ever.

Mom is obviously worried at that fact since, I'm the only child and in my old age, i wouldn't have anyone to be with me to share my joys and pains. You know sometimes, i've realised that you will never disappoint yourself.

Sometimes, you realise that men, they disappoint you without them realising it even though they claim that they know you so well. What if marriage life is a series of disappointment? Then how?

So yes, I am afraid. I'm afraid of the disappointments. Of being left behind again. Of finding that someone and then being left behind and alone, no questions asked. Of promises that ceased to matter. Of futures that will never surface.

That, and maybe the fact that i'm not...

I think its gonna take a hell lot out of someone to convince me otherwise again.

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In this facade of that strong girl, lies a really timid soul who finds the need to protect herself from the world.