Hmmm.. LIke finally Blogger Update the Entry Counts.. So it seemed that this is my 404th Entry...

Have i ever told you my dreams? hahahaha... I must truly be dreaming to be writing this down... I guess most of my upcoming posts now will be about dream then.. heee.

I came across something while rummaging through my wardrobe yesterday while searching for my mascara that seemed to have went missing last year... Yup. Its sad how i only came round to look for it yesterday...

I found something. I opened the box and took it out... I touch it and I look at it...

Then i heard sounds of applause, i saw beaming faces, admiration even... I heard cheers...

Clanging of metals, beads of perspiration, Shouts of frustrations, motivations & encouragement, trusting your own instinct, the beating of your own heart, the sore of your muscles, that particular action that can change your fate, that war....

I feel it all once again... That glory, that triumph, that excitement that has long gone came back to me again... Just by touching it... Just once...

Could i have been missing it unknowingly? Did i regret my decisions relating to it? After all this time? I should have forget it by now, forgo any dreams that i used to harbour... but instead of throwing it away, it was just cast to one side, till the day i come across it again...

And that day was yesterday...

Is that what they call passion? Interest? Destiny? Something that you truly have to fulfill? Something that has been buried deep within you that you can't live without it?

Each time i think about it... A recent conversation came to me... "You are THAT girl arent you?? What happened?"

Ever wondered what happened to that conversation? ahahaha... I denied it... But how long can i deny it even to myself?? hmmmz.

One day i'll flyyyyyyyyy awayyyyyyyyyy.....

And i promise myself... i will make this dream, fight, watever it is... come true.

Ancient Art, Modern Sport
More Than Just A Game

Hmmm.. I think.. thats all for company law.. i have faith in myself.. LOL! I hope..

And sometimes, i'm so thankful that my incoming calls are free all day and all night... hahahahahahahaha...

Ok so thats it.. I'm sleepy and i dont think i can get anything in my head rite now... HAIZ HAIZ HAIZ HAIZ...

And after this... there's still projects... Haaaiiizzzz....

ok.. i'm near dying now...

I'm sleepy and all i wanna do now is to SLEEP. mauhahahaha...

I cant even absorb anything at this rate... My eyes are closing. close close close close... Its that bad.. really.. wahahhaa...

Anywayz, Civil Procedure's OVER! I dont think it was THAT bad... Hmm but i shouldnt get too over confident... i mean.. you wouldn't the know what the possible outcome be like... rite?? rite.

anywayz, i was thinking... maybe i should forgo this tagboard thingy... its seem so totally uninteresting.... reallyy.... nobody ever seem to tag here... aside from a possible of 1*BEEP*2 war... hmmm

I should just get back to accounts and later on think on a possible plan to take over the world!!

Yuppedie doooo dah...

There's Civil Procedure and Company & Partnership Accounts.

I'm gonna die.

Why?

Coz, i lazy to study... wahahahahaha...

tralalalallalalala.....

What shall i do now? Oh yes yes.. i shall study...

haiya.... so lazy...

OH well.. Guess what? i've watched Azizah's Phantom of the Opera...

YUP! THAT IS ONE MOVIE THAT I TOTALLY REGRET MISSING IT... BLOODY SHITE...

Wahahaha.. It was Beeeeeaaaauuuttiiifffuuulllll....... I'm totally in love with it... The singing, the costumes, the props, the storyline, the watevers... totally beautiful....

I'm going to get my own CD and return azi her CD back... and i'm going to watch it over and over again during the hols....

Watched "A lot Like Love" today with Azi & Kay.... Normal pointless kinda story... no wonder 8days gave it a 2 out of 5....

Saw my cousin just now...

Sometimes, its really funny how certain things a person do is usually quite the opposite of what they admit. The kinda people the openly admit they detest, are the people they hang with... The kinda race they complain about are the exact same race that i'm quite sure they would never be able to live without. The talks of moving abroad... hahahaha.. its really quite farnie when you hear it, the promises of their future, but in the end... they will do the exact opposite...

*smiles*

There are things that i'm not prepared for, not interested in, or simply cant be bothered about. Yup. A certain few knows what is it. Certain things that i'm not even sure i wanna explore further.

I know i make it sound like a big deal when it seemed as though its not. Coz, seriously, i've never been this confused about something so trivial before. Conversations that i never enjoyed before i seem to be welcoming it now.

Yup. I agree, the conversations was different from last time. But the reason i'm confused or that i dont want to be a part of anything rite now, Is that i'm afraid i'm making use of someone. I'm afraid that I'm making that person a substitute.

They wonder why wasn't i sad. Well, actually i was. There were many reasons that i was actually sad about.

Anywayz, i was prepared for such things to happen. Coz, i know certain things are impossible or just plain wrong-looking or sounding or watever. Therefore, no matter how sad i was, i knew that i had to get over things. Coz, i know, it was a one-sided thing all along. SO, there was no point brooding over something that didnt even have a beginning to begin with.

Then, at that point of time... the reappearance occurs.

Thats the reason why i'm half-hearted to even grant a possible chance.

Well, thats one of the main reasons... besides the other reasons that i've been giving la... muahahhahahahaa

I just had to get out of the house today... SO, i decided to come to school.. My grandmother was getting on my nerves. We were arguing about rooms. Can you imagine? Rooms? OF ALL THINGS!?! ARGH!!! *toooootttt tttoooottttttt*

Talk about a dam breaking open. You and a certain someone haven't stopped chatting for days -- and you two are showing no signs of stopping in the near future. Better make some coffee.

That's the horoscope reading for today from friendster. Hahahha... and my my, only god knows how close a coincidence that is... whahahahaha

Quizzes, Quizzes, Quizzes.... Ring Ding Ding!!

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF BETTER
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


THE REAL YOU

Here is the analysis:
1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.


WHAT’S YOUR PERSONALITY LOVE STYLE?
Here is the analysis:
Love at first sight is your style. You are not fussy about who you fall for, and often there seems to be no rational reason for you deciding to love someone, it just happens and you'll follow your heart. When you do fall for someone, you fall completely. Your love is somewhat child-like, or what people like to call "puppy love". While following your heart is important, you should also remember to use your head occasionally.


WHAT TYPE OF PERSONALITY DO YOU HAVE?
Here is the analysis:
Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

Why do you have to return? Again?

I'm not prepared for you. Its too hard. I dont wish to get hurt. I dont want to be the victim. Its hard. If only you knew. I can't tell you that. You've been around. Even though at times, the timings are wrong. You were always around, even though you're a friend without face. But i shouldn't let it go on either. This is definitely not a game. You know that. So do i.

Hmmmm... I'm bored... Anywayz.. my shopping list or watever lists are out... whahahaha.. seems like i need to get on with the planning of my taking over the world. whaahahah.. to be rich.. Rich rich rich... LOL!

And Azi, why do you think that my malay is Chim? Seriously? I cant even speak it properly... whahahahahaah

MUAHAHHAAHHAHAHHA.... I have a feeling that this is gonna be one long entry.

Wei. Minahs/senoritas/watever we refer each other tooo.... Anywayz, when are we going to go out??

That makcik promise promise to go out.. i wait until i grow beard and my beard turn white also never go out...

Oh and... i know you wanna hear stories rite?? whahahaha.. i know i know.. but too bad, i need to bring my cat go sunat (circumsize - is this the correct spelling or not?)

Let's see what shall i blog about... Maybe i should bitch about something...

Let's see what's there that is worthy of my time to bitch about.... HMMMMM...

OH YA! Something extremely irritating happened yesterday... ARGH! So irritating i tell you. Irritating Irritating Irritating Irritating!! Muahahaha... Finish bitching already...

HMMMM...

what else ah? Aiyah. My life so uninteresting now. Got nothing to blog about also. So Hid, stop complaining or wondering why i never update or something... MUAAHAHAHAH...

If you want me to update. Meet up la. Make my life more interesting.

Oh ya...

List of Movies that I WANT to watch and die die WILL have to watch

- Alot Like Love
- Batman Begins
- Fantastic 4
- Initial D
- War of the Worlds (Still considering)
- Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
- Sin City

Ok i think thats all on the list of movies, FOR NOW. Now let's see, I KNOW...

List of things i wanna buy

1. Harry Potter, The Halfblood Prince
2. Tommy Hilfiger - True Star
3. Clothes for SIP [AIYA!!!]
4. Lots of Body Shop Products
5. Levi's Jeans
6. BackStreet Boys CD [I know la. A bit the old sch. But i have ALL their albums, might as well buy another one.]
7. Both Phantom of the Opera VCD & Soundtrack
8. Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business [Oh wait, i've bought the album]
9. Some accessories [Even though i'm running out of things to buy in that dept. but wth.]
10. Nicer Tops.
11. Does buying slimming tablets count?

Now, let's move on to the next list.

List of things that I need money for

1. Slimming Session/Treatments [Whatever they call/refer themselves as.]

I was wondering, if i apply to Jean Yip, You think i'll get possible discounts for slimming sessions? Wahahaha... Just a Thought. Anywayz, Let's Continue with the list.

2. Driving License
3. Fencing Session + Coach
4. Probably a new phone?
5. Oh ya, I remembered Hid wanting to go for a Makeover. SO most prob, a make over?
6. Diving License
7. A Holiday
8. A dream car [Rite now, a Hyundai Coupe would be nice... :P]

Hmmm... I'll BRB. Wonder who's calling at 140am in the morning. trlalalalalala...

[30 minutes have passed]

Ok i'm back.

Hmmm... Let's see.. is there any other list to be put up?? HMMMZZZ....

OH SHIT. THERE'S A MOTH FLYING AROUND IN THE ROOM!!! ARGH!!! *Screams silently*

*Runs off to take Mortein... That's all folks*

I'm bored. I'm going home. YAY.

gdrk;jhgj;hsdjk;ghk;sj

That's all.

Good day.

Mid Sems Next Week... *Screams*

My Cover letters are done *Phew~!*

My Defence is still not done yet... *Scratches head*

And i'm extremely sleepy! HELP!

yup! I've been extremely sleepy since last Monday... Oh wait. Nope. I don't think its last monday. Its since school reopens for this new semester. YUP! I'm gonna die.

This week is bad. I haven't been getting enough sleep. I need my bed! I dont care already. I'm gonna rush home from school and SLEEP till the cows come home. *Cue for "Mooing"*

NOPE. I'm not sad or anything. There's nothing wrong with me. The only thing that is wrong is that the cant get enough sleep. YUP. Thats the only thing that is bothering me. I need the bed. SO YA. I'm not sad and there's nothing bothering me. There's nothing to bother me to begin with also.

I just wanna sleep. that's all.

Ok remember how i was happily promising that i'd put up Hid'z b-day pics?

Ya well.. I know its abit late... but wth.. Photos are still photos... besides, its about time i should lighten up my blog which is -to me- is getting utterly depressing... I allow myself to wallow in sorrow for no particular reason.

So here goes. Let me start off with a nice pic of us that i've editted using photo impression. This was before i got the photoshop from hidz.



There was 3 parts to b-day celebration la... We met hidayah at City Hall MRT... And passed her the 1st present... Which is, a soft toy in the shape of an ant from Happy House.



Above is her later on at esplanade hugging the ant.

Part 2 was went we had her choose our dinner place and we limited it to 3 places... Swensens, Pizza Hut OR Fish & Co. Ended up going to pizza hut to indulge ourselves in the Splittza that the 3 of us have been longing for...





And this is OUR B-DAY GIRL.


After dinner, we went to the fountain at Suntec, where Deena attempted to carry me... (Nah. Actually she was just hugging me)



She was also trying to kiss me at one point of time.. Lesbian Partnerz.. wahahaha.. Long story...



Then Deena tried to qualify to be one of Singapore's inspiring tour guide and as you can see, Hid was being the can't be bothered tourist...



Then both of us (me & hid) was being the natural Act Cute Models.



And the laser show at the fountain make these girls look like angels... Nice effect it gave us... whahahahah.. Only because of the laser show ah.. if not you guys are definitely not angels.. whahahaha..



We went to esplanade and gave hid her part 3 which was a Swatch Watch la... Damn funny her reaction... That was went hell broke loose... I think we were too full from the pizza or just high on ice cream....

coz, Deena thinks that she's Minah Rocker...



which was obviously unsuccessful.. whahahahaa... Then we went home and hidayah starts taking pictures of all the presents she received... and below are the ones from us...



Anywayz, if anyone wanna see more of the pics.. i've put it the link on the blog already... under Memoirs labelled as "Hidz b-day '05".. :P

The WEEKEND is over.

I hate it.

I nearly died.

but i live to see Monday.

But my niece and nephew is cute though.

There are something that are unforgettable.

Hmmm.

This is great!

I'm going Negeri Sembilan and rite now, i'm printing out my homework while waiting for my dad to pick us up... THE BLACK INK HAS TO RUN OUT!

Now, i have no excuse of running away from any group conversations or something...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!

Did you know?

A thumb drive on ebay is anytime so much cheaper than those in challenger... The 1gb, 2Gb ones... I should know... Ebay is like my new shopping centre. WAHAHAH. Well, it really depends on what you shop for i suppose.

Ok. I'm depressed. I'm like fat! Dammit. I thought of wearing kebaya this weekend. But NVM! AIYO!

Nvm, i'm receving my running shoes next week... I shall start soon. Wahahhaa...

Sunday's Fathers' Day. I dont really need this! This year have to buy something i guess.. Since i'm seeing him this WHOLE weekend. At least last year, i was out with the Fencing Team. ARGH!

So i have no idea what to buy or whether or not i'll have the time to buy it before rushing home from school tomorrow.

-Watch (guesS? Swatch? CK?)

-Perfume (Hugo Boss, Boss? Hugo Boss, Soul? Armani?)

-Just ignore the fact that Sunday's Fathers' Day?

Hmmmmm... Such a difficult decision. LOL!. Haiz.

My diskettes just love to ask me to reformat them... SO i got sick of them asking and went to get a thumb drive for myself.

I mean, i had it with the pop-up box

"Would you like to format your diskette?"
"Yes No"

WHAT THE TOOOT! then in the end i cant even open the stupid diskette to retrieve my documents.

So i got meself a thumb drive. Showed it to my mom. she wasn't too happy about it. HAIYO! When i don't want one, she insist on one. When i gave up and went to buy it, she's like alittle unhappy.

Instead of saying that it looks fine or something, she told me,

"I told you to use my external hard disk, you don't want. Then instead, you went to get yourself a thumb drive."

I'm like wat?!?! Shocked speechless. When in the world did she even offer the external hard disk to me? If she did i would have taken it. GOSH! then i wouldnt have to waste my money to buy myself a thumb drive. AIYO!

The only thing i remembered her saying when she just bought the external HDD was, "when i finish transferring all my files, i have no use for this, you can have it..."

But it seemed as though that time wont come, coz, each time i saw the external HDD, its always in use... I can't probably share something that i need to store my schoolwork with, with her... rite? I mean what if she needs it when i need it?

Now, she says this? Hurmph.

Never mind. I understand. We're going through a tough time.
*Keeps repeating that to self as though a chant*

I give up.

I shall just continue pondering on how to take over the world. At least that feels better to think about.

I've realised, i've been missing out on alot of things... Tsk tsk tsk... I'm still young but there's so many things that i haven't do. Shame on me. LOL!

Nah, Boyfriend not included. Yes azi, i don't have any secret boyfriends with the password of MOTHER... whahahahaha..

Its time to relocate the passion, the drive, the commitment and the interests.

I wanna travel. I wanna draw. I wanna take pictures. I wanna do so much. So many beautiful place i wanna see, things i wanna do, people i wanna meet.

They always say that money makes the world goes round. How true indeed. It doesn't buy you love. But it obviously get you places. You can go anywhere with money, do anything you ever dreamt of doing without any restrictions, basically live the life that only exists on the silver screen or in hardcover bedtime stories that have endings created for you to have sweet dreams.

You can do anything at any cost.

What is a $500 for 10 sessions? What is $1000 a month? What is a $300 weekend getaway? You can probably do it every weekend. LOL. Heck. What's a weekend getaway at some resort? Get your own island, your own boat, your own chateau. hahaha...

How wonderful it would be... *daydreams*

*falls back to reality*
Oh shit, i need to get my atm working, need to pay my mom back for the camera... I'm so broke. So much for daydreaming.. LOL!

Only way for me to make that daydream of mine real is to get married or maybe not, i think attached would be sufficient, to some ultra rich guy, man, grandfather, old hag? LOL!

Or just kill everyone in the world, leaving only the selected few alive... then, we would own the world! EVERYTHING IN IT! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH... *evil laughter*

*plans of a devious scheme to take over the world*

Had a wedding today...

Then had a funeral...

And then went to PS...

In the first event, well... Obviously we ate... Chicken rendang, rice, breaded fish, those kinda things served during weddings...

Then the second event, it was my cousin's best friend thing... Then we were served food again... Rice, small bits of chicken, Crispy fried fish, belacan, vegetables (argh! POISON!)

Then later on we went to PS, i was escorted by cousin, niece and nephew just coz i wanted to buy shower foam. They just don't get why i had to buy shower foam at PS at Marks & Spencers and not at Watsons or any supermarket nearer to my house...

But thats not the point, the thing is we went to swensen to indulge ourselves in ice-cream...

And when we were about to leave PS... Me, my niece and my nephew.

All 3 of us realised that we're hungry. Wahahahhahaa.

Such pigs.

Friday... Went out with Hidayah. It seemed as though its been such a long time since we last went out, but then... Surprise Surprise. Only 2 weeks have passed from the last outing.

wahhahhaa... Went to Anderson's of Denmark to chill.

Let's see... lemme dig out some photos from that day.

OH SHIT... I'm so SCREWED.. I think Azi and Hidayah is going to kill me...

I just realised something... I've accidentally deleted the photos!! ARGH! STUPID! There goes our ice cream pictures and our "magnificent" masterpiece at the end of the ice-cream chilling out session!!! ARGH!!!!!!

And those pictures of us... HAIZ! I should just go and hang myself shouldn't i? And Azi, don't fret those pictures of us in the MRT are still around.. its just those at the ice cream parlour...

*Hides under a rock*

Number 1: Johor.

Kay, i told you already what... I won't be going to Johor. My mom allows it but too bad it falls on the weekend that i'll be going to Malaysia itself... with a whole group of people that i'm not exactly excited to go with. So ya. There's no way of me being able to escape that. My cousin's getting married. So ya. It's a binding contract that is automatically consensual even if i didn't exactly gave my consent.

Number 2: Mood.

If people around have been asking me the reason why i look so down this pass few days as if on the verge of tears. I don't actually have an explaination. Most probably i'm frustrated about something, angry with something, extremely sad over some stuff that i can't actually bring myself to express it out loud.

Basically, i'll be like this for the weeks to come.. and after the Malaysia Weekend trip... This so-called unstable mood might prolong. Please excuse me if i don't hear you calling out to me, or actually didnt realise if there is really anyone around me, or just basically lost in my own world - like some said, on the verge of tears.

So ya. There's nothing for anyone to actually be concerned about.

My mom just calls it Temporary Depression... hahaha... It happens.

Number 3: A Message from Kay to Me (in other words the most recent blog entry).

Yup. You are right. I had lots of things to say. It's not that you didn't give me a chance or i didn't wanna say it, coz, i've actually typed out a reply. But then as you put it, it wasn't really meant for me and only parts of it was mine. So i'll put it aside till the appropriate time surface again. I mean what's the use of prolonging a matter that was already ending at that time rite? *smiles*

Yup. It did make me wonder why on earth you had that idea, instead of tears, the laughter that we shared made you conclude that this friendship is/was superficial. Honestly, I was disappointed. As you obviously have guessed how much a friendship between me and another person mean to me, so i guess you'd probably will know why i felt like that.

I do have somewhat similar problems. Not knowing how to comfort people as i'm afraid i say the wrong things. One thing different is that, you have always been the life of a party as you put it but i was never one. :D. You ever asked me why am i not social? remember? I believed i've told you the answer as well. Lessons were taught the hard way, circumstances made me like this.

Don't worry about getting laughed at... Coz, i'm very sure it won't happen. I know you've cried in front of a few people that you've known from a very short period of time. Tell me, which one of them have actually laughed at you? if they didn't, what makes you think we will?

I know you've caught me a few times as if about to burst into tears. But those tears never actually fall. Not in front of people, sometimes not even when i'm alone. I can't allow it to fall in front of others is that i know i wont stop seeing that there is/was someone who is actually concern.

You live by one rule and that only anger is allowed. For me, i promised myself that never to feel again. Emotions to me are just weaknesses. Well, because of this promise and obviously my ego and pride, i don't cry. I've kept too many things within and i know once i cry. I'll just break.

But obviously, know its alittle different, coz, i've started wondering how long till i get over the promise. Those times i cry was because of things that recently happen even during certain events that seemed as though nothing is bothering me and me crying was out of doing my job.

I agree, you can share sadness with someone you're comfortable with. But you share happiness with someone that you're equally comfortable with as well. but obviously, it all varies from a person's personality to the next. How much do they really wanna reveal?

I never forced you to tell me stuff. Actually, i've never forced anyone to tell me anything. Coz, i know, if a person is unprepared to tell me what's the use of pressing on. Afterall, it is their story and not mine. Besides, friendship is a lifetime relationship. If they feel uncomfortable now or its not a right time, somewhere along, there will be a time where its right, where they're comfortable and where the trust is enough. At the end, it will come to a point where you'll know.

let's see.. what else ah?

i guess that's all rite? yup, i guess that's it.. before i start being irritating and say you're welcome or somthing along those lines... :P

To kay,

Don't forget... we have an SIP Pre-Launch Briefing on the morning of the 18th June.. So i wonder how are you going to reach back to singapore in time for the briefing? *smiles*

Enough is enough...

Words you say just keep haunting me everyday... Yes, i don't take whatever you say seriously... But i'm not actually deaf to begin with to miss out on the things you say...

Your comments about me... Your thoughts and views on me... Sometimes i just wish you keep it to yourself rather than talking about it like as though you're some loud hailer cum announcer, checking on my life as though you owned it... Announcing to the world in my presence as though i don't exist...

Boy, do i really appreciate that or wat....

I know i'm not one to actually show when i'm upset, affected by what you say or whatevers... But in case you forgot, i'm actually of the same species as you. Human being. Ooooh. Surprised?

Sadly to say, we're the same species... How bad is that?

In case you forgot as well what actually is a human being... Here, let me remind you. They come in different gender, iq level, looks, personality..

oh ya.. i nearly forgot.. God gave each one of them have feelings of their own.

There's too many things happening this week.. I just cant take it anymore!!!! I'm just tooo freaking tired to care anymore... everything is seriously happening in a blur...

Funeral, Marriages, tears from others, airport, outburts, prayers, questions, interrogations, more prayers, cute child, nieces and nephews, unhealthy, outings, late night at sentosa, shopping, running errands, cousins, uncles, aunts, airport, johor, marketing and that is only till today - Saturday.. there's still tomorrow... My week hasn't end yet...

And me watching all this from the sideline.

So basically, thats my week.

It's my first week of school. And as you can see... there's nothing from school stated here... I'm too distracted with things around me that i don't actually notice school to begin with...

I go to school... I go to lessons that i wonder when will end... I rush home... I don't exactly go home... met cousins, run errands... And then night comes, go home, next day same thing happens all over again.

So. Me disappearing from the net or school this week is due to family reasons. I'm too tired when i reach home to actually come online... I'm too caught up with family matters that i don't actually notice anything in school...

So in other words, i need to catch up on my homework. Haiz.

And there's other things that i hadn't been able to attend too.. Yup, for example a particular blog entry that was addressed to me and mel. I've read it on Sunday night/Monday morning but was too tired to reply it on the spot. So i kinda put it on hold for a while.

Since it was said that the entry is not really meant for me.. then i guess.. i shall not reply to it..

And QUIZ NUMBER 3...

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Modifying Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you. You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion. You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested. You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Visioning You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's Your Thinking Style?

OK this is the SECOND QUIZ... I'm just bored.. so i'll just put all the 5 answers here... muahahahhaa... rather interesting i might say.. muahahhaahaha..

Your #1 Match: INTJ

The Scientist You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems. Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized. You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others. Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you. You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

Your #2 Match: INTP

The Thinker You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can. Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge. Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat. A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it. You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #3 Match: ISTJ

The Duty Fulfiller You are responsible, reliable, and hardworking - you get the job done. You prefer productive hobbies, like woodworking or knittings. Quiet and serious, you are well prepared for whatever life hands you. Conservative and down-to-earth, you hardly ever do anything crazy. You would make a great business executive, accountant, or lawyer.

Your #4 Match: ISTP

The Mechanic You are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations. A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent. To outsiders yous eem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable. You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people. You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete.

Your #5 Match: INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's Your Personality Type?

Seems like everybody's doing this quizzes.. muahahha.. might as join in the fun...

FIRST UP... The answers are not bad actually....

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

HMMMM.. I'M BACK FROM TIOMAN.. Yup, that's where i went... hmmmm.. my last minute holi holiday...

OH YA! I FINALLY GOT MESELF A DIGI CAM! It's the Olympus FE-5500... MUAHAHA.. BEWARE WORLD! hehehehe...

Oh ya.. the holiday was beautiful... as in the place was picture perfect...

It was quiet, peaceful, beautiful, oh ya.. and romantic as well!!!

Did alot of things there...

It was the first time i went to TIOMAN.. (duh! if its not i wouldnt be so excited)

Over there, it was the first time i went snorkelling... (I'm definitely gonna get a freaking diving license... snorkelling is just not satisfying enough.. ARGH!)

There, i karaoked for the very first time.. it was hilarious.. (you guys wouldnt believe the first song my mom's friends made me sing)

Over there was my first time i had my taste at clubbing... Beach clubbing.. WOOHHOO! (But then the girls were scary or i'm just too innocent.. so ya)

And it was the first time by the beach that i actually feel lonely and the need of having someone close by... Someone who knows you.. knows wat you're thinking.. someone who you can talk to.. about anything.. someone who understands.. someone apart from your own mother.. Someone who is able to hold you close..

OH WELL.. Maybe i'm daydreaming too much or.. AIYAH.. Watever to me..

It was the first time that i'm actually alone... As in.. alone in doing most of the things.. most prob its coz i went with my mom and her friends... well, even though my mom was around.. but i'm alone..

Ok i think i just successfully confuse myself.. oh well.. as long as i know wat i'm thinking is fine.. muahahhaa

The snorkelling part was fun... You just jump into the middle of the sea... and starts snorkelling.. well, i was thinking that maybe those fishes or animals have something against me or somehting...

Well... as most of my friends know that.. the reason for me not taking diving license despite several offers to pay for it was due to the fact that i'm afraid of sharks.. YUP! one of the reasons why i dont watch shark movies... and that i dont like anything slimy and slippery.. i'm afraid of my own goldfish at home...

Those fishes definitely have something against me... the moment i jump in.. i can feel them slapping their tails against my legs... I was so tickled that my mom thought i was panicking and she wanted to send me back up to the platform... i was like... THE FISH IS TICKLING MY FEET!!!! ARGH!!!!

Then obviously there's all those eye candies!!!!!!!! WOOOHHHOOOO... If only if only.. wahhahahaha...

Anywayz, i'll post the pics up when i have the time.. i guess it'll be soon...

and i'm exhausted.. not from the trip.. from the thought that school's starting and i didint actually have a holiday.. wahhaha... serves me rite for wanting to work... tralalala.

What's wrong with this stupid computer????

IDIOTZ! I cant even read the buttons on blogger... every thing is in squares...

Wat the toot.... muahahhaa.. SCHOOL'S NEXT WEEK! WAAAAAAA!!!

Oh ya.. I just bought another pair of sandals.. Thanks to SOMEONE!

*Whispers: It is quite cute la... but dont let that person know..*

YA.. SO I SPENT ON ShOES/Sandals/FoOTWeAR/WATEVER... AGAIN~!

HAIZ, Nvm...

tralalalalala.... Ok.. I'm seriously bored... i should just go eat my medicine and sleep...

Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul

[Chorus]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I want to chase
You're the one I want to hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul


[Verse #1]
I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me


[Chorus]
Your beautiful soul, yeah


[Verse #2]
You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry, c'mon let's try


[Chorus]


[Break]
Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just want to know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide


[Chorus 2x]


Your beautiful soul, yeah...

Me falling sick around 4 days after i last logged into this blog has did wonders to my memory...

For example, i can't remember the link to my blog.. and to think that i logged on here everyday during school but now i cant even remember the address... tsk tsk tsk..

My nose is still doing its own version of 2.4km... and i think i'm still breathing like a fish out of water... well, i think thats about it... my fevers gone.. my sore throat is gone... but i still have a 2day MC... hhahahaha...

Oh well, i'm going to work tomorrow... tralalallaal.... Such a good little girl.. *Smiles charmingly*

Hmm Maybe i should just posts the long overdue pictures up...

Today went to work as usual.. The only thing that was unusual was that my colleague/partner/sidekick/friend/(i'll insert when i can come out with more) wasn't around.. tralalalla..

Hahahhaha.. work wasn't that bad.. it felt the same...

Hmmm... Miss V got us Chicken Pie... Then Ida got me Soya bean milk... And then i was happily filling in the form for stationeries as if the firm's mine.. ya.. Ida had to stop me.. LOL!

Oh ya.. Kay.. Yup i can help out.. i'm going on the holiday on the week of vesak day... Yup. For the first time after so long, my daydreams actually come true... I'm actually going for a holiday! YAY!

As some people have been complaining that i do not update my blog...

So here's an entry...

First, let me list reasons why i have not been updating:
1) I've been too tired to stay up just to go online
2) There's nothing to be blogging about
3) Everything's the same in my life; frustrations, sadness, all the watevers... and i can't be bothered to type this kinda things down. Or maybe i should... aiyah.. it will just make my blog more depressing..

Ok now, let me update...

Firstly, I'm wondering when i should resign... ahahhaa... Believe it or not... No matter how much fun i have at times, Sometimes i just wish that i wake up sick in the morning and don't have to go to work... yup. Sad but true..

Secondly, Together with a few of my friends who have been crying out for a holiday... I think i'm about to do the same... Yup, I was thinking about it.. And then i realised it has been so long since i had a proper vacation... I no longer remember when was the last time i went somewhere without a purpose in mind...

Now its like the best time for me to go for a holiday... Bangkok? Phuket? Tioman? Chiangmai? Just some beach, snorkelling, sitting on a huge rock by the beach with the wind blowing soothingly..... and maybe even a little shopping... *daydreams*

Today's Mother's Day. I bought my mom a huge soft toy! That she's carrying everywhere she went in the house... And it takes up half the space on the sofa, bed, where ever... and the best part is that she's even thinking of bringing it along if we go to malaysia... Just imagine a huge soft toy in the bus with my mom hugging it... AIYO~! I'm on the verge of regretting buying it...

Brought my grandmother out to eat today, well, she was sort of hinting for a treat... So... I decided to treat her la.. muahaha.. Filial Grandaughter wat.. LOL!

Been going out alot with Hidayah lately.. Hahaha... Went home SO SO SO late on Friday... Mom called with a threatening warning.. whahahaha... Oh well... She still allow me to go out with her the next day... So ya..

I still have not uploaded the pics... Aiyah.. will do it soon.. When i'm not sleepy, reaches home early and have lots of time to spare for myself and the computer.. :P

So till then... I'd better log off sooon... See ya around peeps.. School's opening soon.. DOn't miss me.. :P

Tralalalalla...

Its 106am on a Sunday, and i'm so bored!! HAIZ...

I should just go to sleep... But noooo.. i'm perfectly awake woondering what to do... This is bad..

Maybe i should go eat the ice cream in the fridge... the best part is that i dont even know whether or not i'm sleepy.. AIYO..

My cousins from malaysia is around.. But they're sound asleep after coming back from dinner/supper..

I'm meeting, Becky and hid and syaz and deena tomorrow.(i think)And i think i'm gonna oversleep or something even if the outing is at 330pm... But then again, my cousin is around.. I have no idea whether to go and meet them OR just stay at home and see whether or not there's anything planned for tmr...

HMMM.. I should just go and raid the fridge for that ice cream..

ha! So i'm back again... For now.

LOL! i'm too lazy to go online by the time i reach home, and now my blog's under utilized.... Tralalalala...

Anywayz, its the morning of 1st May... School's gonna start soon... Muahahha! I'll be in Yr3.. Haiz, How time flies man... it just felt like a few days ago i was complaining about something or someone, then soon, i'm like gonna say goodbye or something... Seriously, wonder who i will be in constant contact with... Hmmzzz...

On a brighter note, I PASSED MY SUPPS! aiyo, that was one nightmare... I think cannot have supps already... I would just die... man.. i really would.. It was damn stressful... whahahaa...

Work's fine. LOL! i had to interview a client's maid the other day... IN MALAY!!! Gosh~! It was one hell of a nightmare... To the extent that she was smiling in amusement looking at me trying to find the proper words and sentence structure. well, and not to mention, my all-famous-malay-that-sounds-like-the-MRT-announcer.

And of course, the words that i couldn't bring myself to say it out loud... i think i was blushing 3/4 of the time... Luckilly the maid would fill in the words that i missed out or refused to say... So ya...

But but but but, ha! i managed to go through with it! Making minimal mistakes. And my affidavit was rather acceptable before more things was added to make it look even better... LOL~! I'm so proud of myself. My malay is not so rusty afterall. Muahahhaa.

Well, the other thing about work is that its irritating... Hahaha. especially, when one of your bosses gives one of her sarcastic killer lines to you that just makes you shriek for the whole firm to hear, before she comes back.... laughing at you. YA! It's been happening alot lately...

Hmmm... Other than that... Nothing much been happening. Besides, my countless outings with hidayah, my mom... and nobody else... It's rather sad when you think about it. LOL! i just feel that at times, working just doesn't give you enough time for yourself... *No hidayah... I'm not workaholic*

Let's see what else is there to blog about... GOSH! MY LIFE IS BORING! I actually have to think of what to blog or complain about... This is getting sad.

Movies that i've watched with my mom... It's really amusing how i go out with my mom more often when i'm working then schooling and the best part is that i'm working with a friend that presently i no longer go out with... :)

Guess Who? - That is one hilarious show. Funny funny funny. heee.. Watched it with my mom and Hidayah..
"A man can still choose his destiny, no matter what his father did"
*Sidetrack: I think Hidayah sees my mom more often than Deena.. LOL!*

The Pacifier - That's hilarious tooo!!!

And finally, i watched XXX 2 today. Nah! it's not a porn movie or something.. LOL~ Even though it suspiciously sounds like one... That's not bad too.. But i still prefer the previous one though...

FINALLY, There's no more lovey dovey movies... I was just about to faint and die with all those choc-coated, sugary sweet and dipped in honey movies....

CONVERSATION OF THE DAY
*Beginning of Extraction*

K: Where are you?

Nad: At Funan.

K: What you doing at Funan?

Nad: I'm working today la... Just came back from work...

K: You're working on a SUNDAY?!?!?! You so free ah?

Nad: What are you talking about??

K: You're working on a Sunday?? Are you crazy?

Nad: K, You know today is Saturday rite? Do you think i'me crazy to be working in an office on a Sunday?!?! *(','")*

K: It is? No wonder i've been sitting in front of the TV since 1 o'clock and there was no Hindi movie on today!!! I thought they've removed it or something... I was thinking they can't possibly removed it...

Nad: *Chokes on coke and starts laughing*

*End of Extract*

There are times that i get on your nerves...

I only realised it after it has happened...

I'm sorry.

Your dating personality profile: Conservative - You take a conservative stance on most issues and aren't shy about saying so. Your political views are an important component of who you are. Wealthy/Ambitious - You know what your goals are and you pursue them vigourously. Achieving success is important to you. Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.

Your date match profile: Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw him out of his shell and get to know what he is all about. Traditional - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Conservative 2. Wealthy/Ambitious 3. Religious 4. Traditional 5. Adventurous 6. Big-Hearted 7. Funny 8. Romantic 9. Intellectual 10. Stylish

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Shy 2. Traditional 3. Adventurous 4. Conservative 5. Practical 6. Religious 7. Funny 8. Intellectual 9. Big-Hearted 10. Wealthy/Ambitious

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

I was thinking of what to type here... What shall i type first, the post up the b-day pics? or write something else?

There's lots of things to be written down, but its just a matter of whether or not its appropriate, relevant and everything else... I wonder why on earth i consider all this when this is afterall my blog...

But anywayz,

I was considering about all this when the phone rang... Time check: 3.10am...

I'm like who on earth calls at this time of the night... and it better not be a prank call that would freak the hell out of me...

After 3 rings, i still didn't pick it up... Then i remembered, it might be my grandfather... Maybe something is wrong... maybe something happened...

I stared at the phone thinking that its no longer ringing, thought that i'm hearing things... When obviously it rang AGAIN... Picked it up... and realised that it was my maternal uncle...

My granduncle just passed away...

I was stunned. Expecting something else, and something else comes along.

I'm still stunned. Maybe i should wake someone up... or should i wait till tomorrow? will it be too late?

Finally the supps are over... YUP!

I toook half day... LOL! it was scary asking for it.. lol.. and well, somebody was grumpy on the first day though.. lol

Results are out next week... HAIZ! (i don't wanna see it)

I just need that Ps... I think my whole existence depends on it... I cant possibly fail anything or repeat anything coz, how on earth am i suppose to tell my mom? I mean like seriously, i've kept this a secret and its already killing me from inside... lliterally...

I know i told myself not to complain about the supps... but i think i'm not having positive thoughts on those papers... i think i'm gonna get nightmares till i saw the Ps on the results slips...

There's so much happening around at the moment...

Met my cousin on the way home just now... Luckilly he was on the way up the escalator while i was on the way down... YUP YUP! I'm not prepared to meet any of my family members this time round... Even papa i have not called... I'm beginning to wonder whether or not he knows that Atok is in the hospital...

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE... I MET BECKY AT CITYHALL JUST NOW... LOL

Its not that i was suppose to be going out with her.. she was on her way to meet her friends... YUP! I've totally made up my mind... WE SHOULD REALLY HANG OUT ONE OF THIS DAYS! Well, the only reason why i spot her was that i saw her tentacles hair!!

hahaha.. becky don't kill me ok? whahaha... its not that its bad.. its just that.. who else have those kinda hair other than the one... the only.. Rebecca Alicia?? whahahahaaha...

ANYWAYZ,

I'm kinda down... about? I dunnoooooooooo... ARGH!! Its that time again, i dunno whats going on inside this stupid head of mine.. its irritating.. it really is...

Tomorrow's work as usual.. then there's supp papers on tues and wed.. A little fast... but wat the helll... I'm just praying that i'll be able to pull through it.. LIke all those other supp papers that i took before... My life will definitely depend on it.. Yup, my mom still doesnt know anything.. and i inted to keep it that way till the supp papers results are out...

Gosh. It's tiring when you think about it... I'm beginning to wonder how our parents do it for the rest of their lives... yup! I'm talking about work... LOL! Salute to parents and to those who's working full time.. whahahaha..

Some times when i look back and sees that i've been doing nearly the same thing on a whole.... over and over again... but as i look closer.. each day has been a joy, funny and i'll definitely miss it once school's open.. lol! Its crappy.. I love my boss.. whahahah...

*GASP!* Can't believe i just said that out loud.. but wth... hahahhaa.. its true.. they're funny and irritating at the same time... you cant hate them, so you have to love them.. lol..

Thinkingn of putting up the b-day pics, but... YAWNZ!!! and i need to get to slp... maybe some other time... haiz...

Another quiz.. whahahaha



You're like me! The intelligent loner. You're shy
at times but friendly, and you are never weak
and always independent. You are incredibly
intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a
talent for many things (sports, music, art).
You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy
the simple things. Like hanging out with
friends and watching movies at home. But you're
sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an
outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how
pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just
can't seem to break into the crowd and be
noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing
and speak out when you have more to say. Don't
hide behind your books and sports and computer,
get out there and get noticed. You also have
deep desires in life and feel vunerable and
alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What
helps me to express feelings and dreams that I
can't say to people, is through my writting.
Maybe you should try.


What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

yes yes... its that time again, i'm on a quiz spree.. lol


The Goddess of Ice and Hope. You are a creative
wonder. Always calm and collected, you hold the
awe of many people and you are exceptionally
logical. You are an inspirational beauty.


Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla



You are the Spirit of Hope. Whenever someone is
feeling down, they merely have to think of you
to make them happy again. You have the ability
to simply radiate happiness. You can make
friends quickly because your strong point is
your amazingly friendly nature which naturally
people want to be with. You think about the
best in everything, a total optimist, you won't
have any trouble getting a worthy person to
shae your life with!


Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla



Your wise quote is: "Our greatest glory is not
in never falling, but in rising everytime we
fall" by Confucius.
Yes indeed, you see true strenght can only be
seen when a person has "fallen". Only
then one can tell how they will handle it. Just
don't make others fall so you can know who they
really are. You on the other hand may be a very
quick recoverer and don't let people bring you
down. You are your own, and you're find with
that. Emotional issues is something you handle
rather nicely.


What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla

Don't you just agree with the quote... I totally agree with it.. yup yup yup.. i definitely have used that tons of times...



Your label is the Nice girl/guy. You tend to care
for others over yourself. However, many people
appreciate your caring side and would rather
stick by you than hurt you. But, there is a
downside. Some tend to abuse your kindness and
take advantage of you. You always try to see
the good in everyone and try not to hate.
Also, you have sharp insight and a great
personality. Calm, serene, and understanding,
you make a worthy friend and a valuble ally to
people in need. Don't change your sweet
nature, your constant being-there can save a
life.

I suggest your go into a field that
centers around working with others such as a
doctor, baby-sitter, psychologist, lifeguard,
or Teacher. If none of these occupations
interest you, it is okay then. I am sure that
there are plenty of oppertunities out there for
you.


What type of teenager are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


The pictures are kinda nice huh? lol

Gotta start studying or mugging (watever you call it) for the supps soon... Working and studying, i just hope that i'm able to do it... seeing how i tend to get extremely tired about it.... and doing all this without actually having my mom finding out these little secret of mine..

Yup! I'm still not over the fact that i failed 2 subjects and everyone seems to be getting thru it except me... How nice... WATEVER! I should be getting over it soon...

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE...

I met the senoritas today to celebrate Hidayah's Birthday...

Happy Birthday hidayah darling! Just know, we'll always love youuuuuu...

Today's plan was divided up in 3 parts...

Part 1 was the opening present... Part 2 was dinner at Pizza Hut... Part 3 was chilling and the closing present... Yup!

*Note to self: Remember to pay back bank account*

Nah not because of today's expenses... just need to constantly remind myself everytime i remember it.. if not.. i can bye bye already...

We took tons of photos... as usual... will post it up once i received all the picture from them... and for now i think i'm going off to slumberland to dream and hope tmr will be a better day...

Today i went to see Atok at TTSH... He's been there for a week... Sad. but there's nothing anyone can do and just hope for the best...

He's like frail! All skin and bones. The strength and confidence i saw and remembered from just a year ago is gone. He is now, just a shadow of what he used to be...

The smile he gave at the sight of my mom. The peacefulness that envelopes him just coz my mom was beside him was so apparent. I'll never forget it. The look he gave me, the grateful-ness in his eyes to see us there. Priceless.

Met my other nieces, GOSH! they've grown! loL! so vain already... and here i am... still like this... lol! my nieces are more vain than me! I totally can't believe it... hahahhaa...

They're like attached and their aunt is still single... *shakes head at the thought* Its just so amusing...

Anywayz, met my other uncles... Extremely surprised to see them there! really surprised! unbelieveably surprised! they told me that its been such a long time since they've met me... Asked me where i've been...

I seriously dunno who's the one that's missing, who's the one that's running away... Coz, from wat i remembered... history repeated itself not to long ago... And from what i last remembered, i'm still in good terms with everybody...

anywayz, WATEVER TO THEM! yup! Just watever to them... hahaha.. my life just gets better this week doesnt it?

It certainly does!

First... the bad day at work,

then my results,
then my grandfather still not able to get out of the hospital,
then meeting my uncles,
then practically feeling uncomfortably in their presence,
then not knowing of wat to say to my nieces that i've not met for 2 yrs,
then the awkward silence from everyone except me who's constantly chatting even though i think i was making a fool of myself,
then the non-eye contact from one uncle to the other,
then the fact that i was ACTUALLY RELIEVED to be leaving...

Oh, the joys of being me.

Today is Saturday... It's been a week of holidays... And yes, I've gotten back my results...

Got it back at work... Told myself that not to cry at the sight of the SMS... Told myself that I have to be stronger than this... I can't possibly cry at work, its just wrong... Ever since I got it back, everything at work was a blur... All I saw was my mom's disappointed face and glimpse of reality every now and then...

Met my mom yesterday after work at PS. Before that, when I was all alone waiting for my mom... I locked myself in the ladies staring at the door... Tears rolled but I didn't cry...

I've let her down too many times... I've let myself down too many times... Maybe I should just get use to failing things... Maybe I gave myself too much credit... Maybe I am stupid after all...

Why?

Coz I failed 2 subjects!! Subjects that I actually bothered to study for this time round. Subjects that I actually took the initiative to ask someone to revise with me during a study week that I actually studied...

I can't believe it!!! I refuse to believe it!! I cant and won't accept this!!!!!!!! I cannot accept failing 2 subjects... I really cant... Gosh someone... Help mee... I just can't accept this particular fact... *buries head in hands*

And on the whole? My results ain't that great... It's not even OK to me... I expected more... I expected better... I actually thought things could and would improve this time round... I actually truly believed it...

HA! I guess it's a joke... A joke that I failed to laugh along with...

I kept stuffing myself with food yesterday, just to keep me distracted from thinking about it... I was so full but I just couldn't stop… kept telling myself its not true... telling myself that its all a nightmare and everything will be fine again when I woke up...

I even told myself that if this is not a dream... God, just don't let me wake up to see today...

Exaggerating, but true.

But, sadly, I woke up today... To see everything... To realize that it's not a dream... To realize that I refuse to accept it... To realize that I'm shattered... To realize that maybe, just maybe, I made a wrong decision... To realize that after what I sort of planned, I think I need to plan a new career path... To realize that I'm on the verge of giving up...

*Goes away and hope to never return*

Ah! I finally remembered my last topic...

Miss Singapore Universe 2005

What do you guys think of it? Seriously and honestly??

I seriously and honestly am speechless and have no idea what to say to or about it... Its like... Year after year, there's no one who is beauty queen standard to compete on the world stage...

Why one earth do they still wanna participate it if they could not find anyone good enough for it? Why waste money? Sometimes, its just the same like putting hopes on Team Singapore to win a medal during Olympics...

Ling Lee won Miss body beautiful and Miss Beautiful Skin... Miss Body Beautiful? Her? Hmmmsss.. ya.. and she broke up with her boyfriend rite after pageant coz, he told her that he was sorry to hear that she didn't do well and that the newspaper was calling her a bimbo..

The guy was trying to console... And she broke up with him becoz of it... GIRLS.

Yup, she's the same one that answered that Racial Harmony Day is her fav. festival that made nearly all the 3million residents here go... WTF?!?!

And Miss Photogenic, Rebecca Lim... Its her rite? Well, Me and Deena have came to the conclusion that she is came from a convent... Her looks, her walk, her talk = typical convent girl.. hahahhahaa

And Tuesday's Today Paper states that this year's MSU winner have finally raised the standard of the competition... -,-"

WAHAHAHAH!! My comp's back at home!!! Muahahaha... So ya.. Basically i'm back after a week of absence.. Let me update... I think this is gonna be a long one.. hahah.. so brace yourselves pple..

First up,
Virginia Quek Lalita

Yup! As most of you know... I'm working.. *Faints* At a law firm.. *Dies* And here i thought i wouldnt even go near a law firm till the time comes for me to actually go near it.. (i.e: SIP)<-- This is influence from all the letter writing.. lol..

Anywayz, its exactly a week... Work is not so bad.. Kinda enjoy it.. hahaha.. the bosses are funny and have a weird sense of humour...

One goes on and on and on and noone listens to her except for mel who occasionally answers her and I do answer her at times, well, when she actually put her hand in front of my nose asking me whether or not the smell of the perfume she's wearing today is nice or not... *Shakes head*

and the other one writes in ancient sanskrit that really looked like fossils of earthworms... But obviously, she says that she TRIES to write nicely for us, so that we don't have to take such a long time editting letters, affidavits, order of courts and everything else that is needed to be editted... but then again, she used the word "TRIES" instead of "WILL or MUST" so you get the point... *smacks self*

But anywayz, today sucked. hahaha. The computer died on me. The diskette went missing. The next diskette got corrupted. I misplaced my notebook. I had to retype an affidavit twice and it is still not done. I had to retype another letter 4times. And before i left, I can barely see my table anymore. Its piled up with work that we aren't able to finish today. ahahhaha... and that is after a total of 30letters were sent out today... yup!

and the best part? I was already on my way home, in the NEL at Boon Keng Station when one of my bosses called telling me that she didnt have the key to lock the office...

So ya.. i have to go back to Adelphi Building at City Hall... For wat? To lock the office. whahahaha... Well, she owes me one.. That's what she says.. hahahahaha...

And guess wat? Last Saturday, I woke up at 8am thinking i was gonna be late for work coz, i was thinking, "Shit! I think there's something missing from my Affidavit and the client's coming on MONDAY!!!!" And obviously when i realise that it was 8am i panicked somemore... and then it hit me that it was a SATURDAY.. And i had to calm myself down and force meself back to slp..

Secondly,
Dates & Boyfriends

Nah, nothing romantic have been happening at work... It's a firm filled with ladies that is exclusive of Mel of course... who i wanna drool at?

What i'm talking about here is that... You tend to keep track of dates when you're working... Well, most prob is because that we have datelines to meet.. so ya..

Well the affidavit i'm talking about previously, hahaha.. its for a client *DUH!... which is more affectionately known as my boyfriend... Coz, when pestered to go for lunch.. i'll be like, "Can you hold on? I need to settle my boyfriend's stuff" well, it tends to be like that when that is all you've been editting for the past 3days besides the letters and everythings else you're doing la...

and when my aunt ask me what was the date on sunday, whether or not it was 4th April? I was like no. 4th April is tmr, client's coming at 10am and the affidavit have to be ready by then, bring him to the commissioner of oath later and then file it through EFS...

That was my answer to just a plain qns of whether or not it was the 4th that day...

Tsk tsk tsk.

Thirdly,
Pets Adoption Centre

I think my house is officially an animal shelter... Coz, i just took in another cat or kitten rather 2days ago. I saw it abandoned by someone and i couldnt bear to see it like that, so i took it home before rushing out to work again...

It's black with white stripes. We called it Tigger. And it fits into the palm of your hand. And remember the white and orange one that my aunt took home around last month? Yup, kinky. Well, Kinky isn't talking to me or rather refuse to even come near me...

Talk about being jealous.

*Turns to Kinky: "You traitor! I bought all your toys for you using my own money and now you're ignoring me just because some cat is just arrived??.. You betrayor!"*

Anywayz, where were we?

oh yes, updates.

Well, i think that's all for now... hmmm.. I'm sleepy.. So ya...

Have you ever had a day where it started all fine, you think that it will continue going on fine but it gets worse before it gets fine again?

LOL! ConfuseD? Hmmm.. I'm sure you guys are smart enough to figure it out without me having to further explain myself... I have faith in you.. *starts to meditate*

Oh ya,

Hidayah - our usual thursdays date, hmmm unless you wanna meet me later or something.. then we shall continue with our dates, if not then we meet the next time the 3 of us goes out ok?

Rebecca (REBECKKY!!) - Sorry can't resist that! HA! Anywayz, i promised an outing with you rite? hmmm.. i'll definitely find a day that both of us are free since i just found out from your blog that you'll be working too... at the travel agency rite?

Sin Ni - [if you happen to read this while trying to de-stress from reading too much biomedical stuff] 13th April, i've yet to confirm. hehehhe..

Yup, i'm working at the moment... Hahaha.. feel like laughing at myself!! I'm actually working...

SO let me tell you about my day before i actually doze off in front of this machine...

i woke up early.. So hAPPY you knoE! I thought i was gonna be on time or even better! early!

So i bathe, and that was went my cat decided that its not gonna let me go to work.

it bite my feet not allowing me to walk out of the door, climb up my pants pulling me down, hoping i would sit and when i manage to get out of the room, it GUARDS the front door...

So i had to carry it back into the room, run out to the door unlock and faster went out to see it scurrying along to get to the door.. But TOO LATE for it! HA! SERVES IT RITE!

So, i rushed, got my bus the moment i got to the bus stop.. So i'm like.. PHEW~!

Then reached seng kang and then i realised that my ez-link got no money... so i had to top-up rite? And guess wat? My EZ-Link was stuck in the stupid machine and i had to wait for 15minutes before the lady appears to open the machine up and took out my Ez-Link for me..

So i was in the train... After a few stops, i realised... I'm gonna be late... so better take a cab... Went out of the train and ran to the taxi stand... to realise that there was no taxi in sight... i decided to try my luck to wait for a possible taxi to materialise... and after 5mins or so.. NONE appeared..

I went to the bus-stop in hopes that i get to take the bus or something, and realised that there was no bus there to City Hall.. At that point, i was really going to cry already... I was actually unconsciously cursing out loud.. untill i realise i was getting weird stares.. LOL!

so i had no other choice but to go back in the train and have to continue my journey like that till i reach my destination... And obviously, by the time i reach.. I was like around 15minutes late.. YA!

So i was briefed and work started... It wasn't that bad actually.. LOL! I think its coz there's someone along.. so the job is not so boring.. Yup! Can talk and laugh while doing our work.. LOL! Multi-tasking! I think i would die if i have to do it all alone.. whahahhaa...

And working's good! It makes me all tired and sleepy and able to make me sleep early! hahah.. the reason i'm up now is coz, i was woken up by my cat who was trying to bite my toe.. so ya..

But i'm off to dreamland now.. Good night everyone!

HAH! my mom's b-day is today..

Ya, i'm sure all you faithful blog readers of mine will know seeing how i publicize it as if its a national public holiday..

But anywayz, She likes the watch.. *Phew* I still have good taste.. lol!

Hmmm... I think i better go to sleep now.. i got nothing better to do online anywayz...

Ahhh Nooooo.. This is bad... It shows that my life is getting boring.. *screams & runs in circle* wahahahhaa...

Anywayz, i think i better go.. :P

Ok.. i think i'm too free.. or too excited for nothing..

Anywayz, here's my mom's b-day card.. hahaha.. cute rite?



The words on the arms of the bear is.. errmm..

First time i see,
Last kiss good night,
Hugs in between,
Squeezing me tight.
Happy birthdaY

and this is how the present looks like after its being wrapped... nice rite? like chocolate! I just have good taste in choosing wrapper.. whahaha..

Sneak Preview

HA! I've bought my mom's present...

AIYO! Stupid City Chain.. Have to close for their annual dinner.. OF ALL DAYS.. it has to be TODAY!! nonsense... Well, tooo bad for my mom then... JUst not her luck in getting those more branded watches... And obviously lucky for my bank account! :P

Well, i've bought my mom a Swatch watch... Bought it at PS just now... There i was standing in the shop choosing for nearly an hour... took out like 6 watches! Ranging from $73 - $236... wahahaha...

Feel like punching the sales girl's face just now.. She was saying.. That's $106, are you sure you wanna see it? I was like... ya. *Stares at her*

GRRRR....

But anywayz, ya.. took a long time choosing...

The first watch that caught my eye since yesterday was this one... So cute and colourful rite?



But then i realised that the face was too small, and can already imagine my mom complaining that she can't see the time....

then i made her took out this few...





and another one which i cant find the picture...

Then i was stuck of not knowing whether to choose the turqoise one or the white one.. and then remembered that my mom can pull off white... so i took the turqoise one.. whahahaha... so ya! Got the present already... I'm so proud of myself...

Now, for the b-day cake.. hmmmmzzz

To you:

My dear friend.

You know how much i hate seeing you like this?

Yes, even though we seldom meet, we keep in touch with each other enough. You tell me about you, and vice versa - well, maybe you dont hear that much about me. But who cares?

8years worth of friendship have passed... Time and time again, i've told you dont compare us. Both of us = totally different. Me and you is as though, day & night, black & white, sun & moon, shoes & slippers.. OH well.. i'm sure you know what i'm trying to say... Each of us is unique in our own way. Don't think of yourself any less just because you think that you lack certain things.

You dont have to constantly reassure me that i mean alot to you... Friends don't need assurance on that... All that they wanna know is whether or not life's good for you? Basically, whether or not you're still alive. NOT whether or not i'm still your best friend, or some shit like i need to know where i stand in your ladder of friendships.

Friends naturally care. That's the reason why they're friends to begin with. The care regardless as to whether or not they're still your best friend or not. They care without you knowing. They just care. They may quarrel, pass sarcastic remarks, but they still do care.

Well, if you've met pple who's main priority is to know that & that's the reason you do that to me as well. Well, i understand. But, i'm disappointed. After 8 years, you still don't know any better?

I know you just wanna tell me that you appreciate this friendship, but sometimes, the time is just wrong.

Why do you keep on telling me that you're a failure?

Failure as stated in the dictionary is:

" (1)The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends: the failure of an experiment.
(2)One that fails: a failure at one's career.
(3)The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short: a crop failure.
(4)A cessation of proper functioning or performance: a power failure.
(5)Nonperformance of what is requested or expected; omission: failure to report a change of address.
(6)The act or fact of failing to pass a course, test, or assignment.
(7)A decline in strength or effectiveness.
(8)The act or fact of becoming bankrupt or insolvent. "

But, truthfully, can anyone really measure failure? Can anyone actually give me an exact measurement as to what equates to being a failure?

Is it due to the fact that you can't live up to your own expectations? Is it because you think that you've let everybody down? Is it because that you think that you're weak? Is it because you can't be like everybody else around you?

So, what makes you a failure? Sometimes, we're schooled like this since young to think that if we can't reach a certain goal, we're a failure. If we're doing badly and everyone else is doing well, you're a failure.

But have you realise that we are at a stage in life where you can't actually label yourself that. People who do badly now, have let lots of people down, can actually be a success when they're old? can actually be greatly admired later on in life?

You're constantly heartbroken... Don't ever blame yourself. Blaming yourself makes you regret lots of things... and regretting is definitely not for that department or whatever situation you are in now.

"Love mirrored in your soul, amour. God's gift to life's design, romance."

Beautiful ain't it?

My dear friend, to love, is not to regret. Tell me which love won't end with heartbreaks? Only when it hurts so much when it ends... then and only then you know that you have loved.

Don't put all the blame on youself. Don't say that its due to your stupidity. Coz, sometimes you think that your actions are right even if its wrong. Love is blind they say. Perhaps.

Dear friend, you're stronger than this. I know that and you know it as well.
Don't fret over this for long. Just keep on going. You know if you've done a mistake, don't keep on brooding over it. Learn from it. Stand up, and move on. There's nothing you can do to continue dwelling in the past. Nothing's left back there.

Just remember, people are there when you need support... Turn to Him if you need guidance, and you will not lose your way.

Love,
Dee Dee

Exams are over.... la la la la laaaa la~~!!!

Fam Law = TOOO MANY QUESTIONS! I think the setter was too free.. hahaha.. had a sudden rush of inspiration and does not know which one to put in.. so put in all! hahah

But anywayz, its over... and i'm glad!

I didnt go for my aunt's function thingy.. I missed all the great food!!! ARGH!

But its ok! Coz........ I went to see my grandfather instead...

Met my nephew on saturday!!!!!!!! AHHH! I'm in love with him!!! hahahhaa.. so naughty.. Well, he thinks he's power ranger at the moment...

and grandfather?

He's well.. he's not going to be ok... it saddens me to see him like that... His last few days? months? who knows... I even think, he wont make it to see this coming Hari Raya...

Even though, i hope to see him sitting there this coming Hari Raya when we visit him... Smiling, eating, gaining weight...

All he ever wants is to have dinner with his sons sitting there around him, eating together and actually being civilized towards each other and him.

I think i will definitely call dad to ask him to visit Atok soon. Maybe i should call each and every uncle.. and arrange for a time for them to meet and forget their disputes and just have dinner as other families do.

Well... i know that wont happen in a million years.. at least not for now... I even imagine the worse during my wedding (if there's one la) But then again, the point now is that -- GRANDFATHER IS DYING!!!!!

There i've said it.

Yup, he's dying and he misses his sons. Wat's the use you tell me? Having sons that don't care? Having sons that care about themselves more than him? Having sons that blame everything on him? Having sons that screams at him and do not even listen? WHAT'S THE USE?!?!

All he ever did was provide for them? From young too OLD! All he ever did was to give them a luxurious life! But wat is he getting now? Nothing! How is he living now? It's the grandchildren that cares. Yes! The grandchildren.

You know, the only thing mistake he ever did was... Not having enough time for his sons... coz, he was too busy finding money to provide for them. Education, clothes, food... everything.

If only i can tell them...

OK.. Exams and Sick. They tend to come together in a package don't they?

After tomorrow.. i'm gonna go home and eat fever medicine and slp till the cows come home... Oh wait.. I have something going on tomorrow... *ponders* OH YA! There's prayers at my aunt's house... ARGH!! Then like that i have to postpone my slp... haiz..

Tmr's the last paper, and i really cant wait...

I'm dying of a headache, sore throat and a headache...

Hmmm.. dunno why it hasnt go away!! its driving me crazy!!

I really truly hope that i'll be fine while doing the paper tomorrow... *hopes really hard*

And i'm hungry again.. haiz...

okieezz...

i wanna eat pizza hut! wahahhaa..
weird but i've been thinking abt it for days!!
I was thinking about the Splittza and the garlic bread and and... YUM YUM!!

Then there's seoul garden..
the last time i went there was 20th february 2004.. It's THAT LONG!!!

Ok so far thats all i've been thinking abt... must control must control!! wahahahhaa..

And i'm hungry already! aiyoh!

Oh did you know that it so easy to get into a commercial? YUP!

my cousin, omar, got into the stanfield college advert just by walking on the road, having the right person approaching him and asking him to go for an interview for the commercial...

not bad rite? and then just by that, the free publicity, might land you another place in another commercial!

So pple... walk around more!! lol!

Oh yes!

Besides eating.. i've been thinking about rollerblading tooo... so nice rite?!?!?!

oh and also the thought of doing 2 rounds of punggol park = 5km.. whahaha! *dream on la nad* but i might do it...

who knows, this hols might be quite interesting... :P

Well.. HAHAHHAHA! OB IS DONE!! MUAHAHHAHA!!! i hope i'll pass.. yup yup yup.. left one more.. left one more!! i can dooo thisss.. muahahhahaa

well.. i had a terrible headache in school just now while waiting for azi to appear.. I was thinking that I was seriously going to die... the world.. was spinning round and round and round.. *I'm spinnninnnggg arounnnnddd*

then decided that i should go home....

so walk walk walk walk walk......

in the bus, then i realise.. i shouldnt go home so early.. later i'll slp and then i wont be able to slp later in the night... that have been happening alot lately...

Ya.. so i decided to find someone who will be willing to hang around with me...

Called Hidayah...
she was like.. you're 5minutes late.. i just made plans with azmie..

okiez...

so next on the list was.. Jeng jeng jeng.. Deena..
well, she didn't answer... nothing new.. at times i do wonder why she owns the handphone if she doesn't intend to answer any calls....

Then i'm like.. wat should i do? wat should i do?? maybe i shall look for mum's b-day present...

then... an inspiration!

What's the use of having a cousin that stays in Tampines and not making use of her? So that's wat i did...

So i called her.. asking her whether or not wanna meet me? then she was like ok.. i'll meet you at TM.. and i'm gonna go bathe now.. it was agreed then...
Meeting place: TM

few minutes later.. phone rings... lets meet at the new Community Centre the cold storage there.. the food there quite nice you know... and obviously i was making so much noise already... since i'm already at TM and then ask me to u-turn.... but i gave in... the phone call ends with.. Ok i'm gonna go bathe now...
New Meeting place: Community Centre's Cold Storage

then i walked from TM to the interchange.. practically rushed to the interchange.. coz i needed to take 69 rite and hope that i won't be late coz, the CC is very near her house... Then the phone rings for the 3rd time...

asking me whether or not i'm fine with the new meeting place.. then we were debating on meeting places.. when she was like... ok ok ok.. i'll meet you at TM... *gosh! This woman seriously needs to learn to make up her mind* then she arguing with me for the next few more minutes... then she was like... ok bye.. gotta go now.. i'm going to bathe...
Revised meeting place: TM

I was like wat?!?!?! from just now till now still haven't bathe?? this girl ahh...

So i walked around TM by myself when i found them - Daph, Alvin, Yimei and Mel at Pastamania...

Well.. actually i took the bus with them to Tamp interchange...

so ya.. found them.. i was actually relieved to find some people that i know.. coz

1) My feet was aching
2) I needed to sit
3) I was beginning to get bored

so went in to disturb them.. and they were talking about.. well.. errr.. unmentionable stuffs? yup yup..

interesting but nevertheless unmentionable.. lol

ya well.. finally after like 40minutes, my dearest darling Nadia came...

went to KFC to eat... coz, she was like.. let's eat KFC i got coupons!! whahahaha.. well, not THAT cheapskate la.. we cant think of any other place to eat... so ya.. KFC it is..

and we talked and talked and talked and laugh and laugh and laugh... and then half way through... i realised something... she speaks malay more fluently than me and i'm correcting her english... SO damn salah man!! whahahahaha...

And well, today.. she was being the resident paranoid self conscious bimbo.. whahahaa.. she keep asking me why is she being stared at?? well.. i told her to stop being bimbotic and so self conscious.. muahahhahaa..

Not bad.. hahaha.. had fun today.. lol! its been awhile... and will be meeting her again soon.. Grandfather is extremely sick.. so might be visiting him with her... hmmmzzz...

OK.. I've decided to go to bed... and pray real hard that i'll be able to do it tomorrow.. haiz...

Coz, i keep on sidetracking... and end up giving my cat, crystal, streaks of purple and green on the body and pink and blue on the head... I'm gonna get scolded tomorrow once my aunt sees her cat punkified... heehee...

BUt watever, at least it allows me to release a little bit of my boredom on her... muahahahha

Received a nagging or scolding, i have no idea what its called at 5am this morning.. well.. it might explained the puffy-eyed me that came for exams today.. whahahahaha that is beside me being drowsy and having a slight heat? hmmzzz.. it was lucky that i didnt fall asleep half way through or feeling the need to vomit... muahahaha

I had to squint through out so that my eyes wont be painful.. muahaha.. terrible.. but i survived!!!

yes yes.. i survived accounts...

I hope to that it'll help me to pull up my grades... *prays really hard*

Then at least, this morning's scolding wont hurt that much...

Well... i definitely screwed up Cash Flow Statement.. seriously, i only remembered up till the working capitall changes part and i didnt know wat comes after that.. so ya.. definitely screwed up that part...

i can feel azi going to strangle me.. lol..

Sorry azi, i know its the only topic that came out of the 4 topics that you taught me... well, i really truly cant remember the rest of the things.. heee..