Friday, December 31, 2004
and tomorrow is 1 Jan 2005
How nice.. its like.. now is 2004 and at 12... it will be 2005... it never fails to amaze me each yr... how 2 yrs can be right beside each other.. and still it seemed as if its forever to be that upcoming yr...
i just hope that this new yr will bring positive opportunities and changes into my life... hope that things will really turn out for the better this time round...
DEVDAS IS OVER!! muahahahha...
*jumps around in delight*
Hmmm... 2 days of devdas.. it seemed as if forever to reach that 2 nights... and it seemed as if within seconds... both nights are over!!
So many things have happened from the moment rehearsals started and even right up to the end.... All those dramas, all kinda rumours, all kinda outbursts, all the silent tears, all the frustrations, all the tantrums, all the trying to run aways...
It has come to an end...
To all those that came.. THANKS FOR SUPPORTING US!! i hope you guys enjoyed it...
Now.. i have to get back to the road.. where i'm a student trying to complete all my assignments...
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Nearly lost my phone... for the second time in a year...
BUt well, the keyword here is NEARLY.. which obviously meant that i found it again... long story, wont get into that...
But phew.. it was lucky man...
I dont need me to lose my phone at a time like this and just add more mess in the already messy enough life of mine...
The previous time was around 3mths? before i got a new phone? If now.. Well, i can just dream on about getting a phone if i lose it...
its just tooo disastrous to even think about it...
Guess, i'm just very lucky today...
Thank you so so so much!!!
Oh ya...
Last Minute News Telecast
DEVDAS
29th and 30th December... Which is THIS wednesday and thursday... not next week... not last week.. its just simple and plain THIS week...
tickets can be bought at One Stop Centre for $5... *Expensive? Don't even think about complaining.. its cheaper than a movie ticket... -glares threateningly-*
Showtime: 7pm
Venue: Temasek Polytechnic's Auditorium 2
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
You listen to someone else... someone else's heart tore...
Words can be misleading.. i've realised that... Its even sharper than the sharpest swords at times... Coz, its able to pierce into a heart... A heart that may already be steeled to void any emotional contact...
But words can just melt the steel and damage the heart...
I understand the situation.. I understand the frustration... I understand where everything is coming from even if it is from various perspectives... I see each and every sides... I saw all the different circumstances... I saw it.. I knew it... At times, i even feel it..
Am I wrong to feel some things? Am i wrong to feel bad? Am i wrong to feel guilty?? Am i wrong to get hurt??
Countless times, i've lost track of my emotions... Coz, i was so afraid to be feeling the wrong thing at the wrong time... So.. as many would have seen.. they tend to see me in one particular emotion throughout the day, throughout the week, throughout the month and throughout the year...
MOM. Friends. i dunno where to start.
Time. Break. I definitely need some.
Solace. Comfort. Peace. I'm still looking.
Bored. Restless. I need to get a hobby.
Daughter. Me. I'm trying to be.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Saturday, December 18, 2004
That was before i feel so embarrassed and left.. but thats another story for another day.. not something that i would state here... Too much frustration in one day is no good.. no no.. bad for health! hahaha...
oh ya...
Happy birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to kabby
Happy Birthday to you!!!
Heard about wat happen during rehearsals today.. lol.. interesting.. not bad man.. whahahaa...
wat else ah??
oh ya... hmm.. oh wait.. i have no idea what i'm gonna say.. lalalala... nvm.. forget it...
Having a combined meeting with 5 other clubs and i'm the game master.. ya... interesting job huh? SHT MAN!! The meeting havent started and here i am HIGHLY IRRITATED WITH SOME PEOPLE!!! FARK!!!
Sometimes ah... I forget why i'm soo angry and pissed with them... until each time i do something for them and then i'm highly irritated with whoever that is helping (or suppose to help but not helping) me... ARGH!!!
Well, i'm suppose to be grateful that somebody is helping me rite?? But why should i be grateful when the person was doubtful of my job in the first place and later on forgot all the things that was discussed?!?!!?!!
FARK YOU! i dont have time to entertain such stuff!!!!
I'm supposed to be having drama rehearsals today.. but due to some things... those not involved in the dance do not need to turn up for rehearsals.. lucky me rite?
Coz, if not i have to not go for this combined meeting... yes.. i've already arranged for such circumstances... thats the reason why i have a assistant game master... when in actual fact.. the games have to be done by me alone and no one else.. So much for me being irresponsible huh?
Assistant Game Master
Job Scope: To replace me in any event that i might be late or not be able to make it for this particular meeting and to assist me in the planning as well as the organizing of the games during the meeting.
(exactly the words used to inform my president and changi simei's VPE)
Simple task aint it??
Maybe i'm just asking TOOO FREAKING MUCH... You know, me asking kay whether or not i can not come for the rehearsals was just testing my luck... if she said no.. i would have come for rehearsals instead of going for the meeting.. and at that point of time.. the assistant game master will have to take over everything.. am i rite??
BUt no... I've found out today.. THIS MORNING... that if she were to take over.. i can totally foresee something that the farking slot will not fulfill its goal...
You know why??
Coz, when i asked her whether or not she already gotten any of the materials for that slot.. and is there anything else i need to get? she replied me, asking me am i missing some thing?? what materials are you talking about??
*WHAT THE FUCK?!??! you ask me that after we've discussed everything within 20 minutes of your freaking break on freaking THURSDAY???*
When i told her balloons and mahjong paper.. guess wat she replied me?? What are they for? we can always use paper... *YAY! That will really make things extra interesting wouldnt it??*
I have to waste my stupid sms to explain to her all over again wat it is for... Coz, i couldnt risk me calling her.. All hell will just break lose... I WOULD JUST HAVE SCREAMED that is if i called her la!!!! Sometimes ah... pple just have to thank their lucky stars...
But no.. instead of telling me ok.. i'll buy it.. and a fullstop... she replied me saying that she thought all the things needed we already have... *Like from where?? Fall from heaven one ah?? God postal service is it???*
Then she asked me where to get mahjong papers!! FARK MAN!! i feel like telling her to take a tree trunk.. and scrap off the bark and soak the farking trunk in water till it become a pulp... put it in a tray and hope that by 2pm it'll dry!!!!
sht man... Just imagine if i told her i wouldnt be able to make it for today's meeting?? SHT SHT SHT!!!! ARGH!!! Some things are.. are just meant to be completed by me and ONLY me...
and yet they still say i'm irresponsible, neglecting my duties and the list just goes on... and somehow these people are better than me how?? wat they dont realise is that... all this while i've been doing everything as well as cleaning up their shit...
Thursday, December 16, 2004
2nd week also ending already.. haiz...
Let's see.. what about school that is so nice? hmmm.. nothing much really.. everything seems extremely boring to me at the moment.. lalallaa... really!! i'm serious.. i'm bored to death in school..
Oh ya.. did i say that i'm sick.. ya i am.. wahhahaa.. my voice power!! lol!! cannot laugh.. it sounds.. erm.. wrong?? wahhahaa...
My classmates? hmm nothing much about them.. no comments about them actually.. coz, nobody i dont like in the class, so ya.. but ah.. the class ah.. aiyoh.. damn quiet during lessons ah.. nothing to entertain me... hmm.. wahidah's in the same class as me again... and erm.. who else?? oh ya.. awi's in my class.. and there's fiza and nazurah... who else ah?? hmmm.... oh ya.. i'm in the same class as mel..
wat else wat else?? see wat i mean... i'm totally bored in school.. there's really like nothing happening that is happening in class...
and what am i doing up so late? wahhahaa.. i'm attempting to do my tutorials.. yes.. you heard it rite.. i'm doing my tutorials.. wahaahhaa...
and besides me being bored, i'm highly irritated.. but thats another story altogether...
i should just go to slp and dream of something nice... and wake up in time to go for class that is at 9 later.. lalalala...
Monday, December 13, 2004
But surprise surprise... None of the labs of are free.... And the only lab that is free.. the printer is faulty.. Like thanks.. i really needed that...
And i'm so gonna die today... I'm having sore throat and some hints of flu.. and my eyes are watery.. and i'm having a slight headache... sheesh.. Dont tell me i'm going to fall sick.... I dont need to fall sick.. esp not now... ARGH!!!! *Pulls out hair*
I'm floating to dreamland... *Slaps self* wake up nad... you cant be falling asleep... you have lecture at 3!!! *dies*
I will survive.. lalallala.. i will survive!!!!!!!!
Oh ya... did anyone watch s'pore idol? hmmm i only watched the finals on Saturday... Woohooo... Taufik really nailed it with "Me & Mrs. Jones"... and sly.. oh god... how can he make an english song sound so chinese? *Amazed*
THINGS TO REMEMBER!! IMPORTANT..
Remember to bring suk ching's things...
And i'm really gone for today.... lalallalalallaaa... *Trails away*
Wahahaha... Its SO NICE!! I get to see lots of people.. And i didnt know MPs were THAT LAME!! whahahaha... Aiyoyoyoyoyoooo... And they're friendly too...
well.. i was happilly pinching my nieces? no wait.. they're my cousins.. ya.. omg.. there's this oone.. SOOO CUTE!!! Ahhh.. i seriously need to get my very own digicam!!! then i can take pics of all this cute little peeps.. whahahahha...
And i was also desperately trying to figure out who is my uncle's children.. and who belongs to who.. its was hilarious.. well.. cant really blame them... sometimes.. during hari raya also never get to see.. they're either overseas to study.. or posted somewhere around the world for work... or they're just out hanging with their friends... lol..
So ya.. they didnt know who i belonged too.. and when they actually remembered... They were like.. since when have you grown?!?! The last time i remembered your height is around my waist... Hmmm.. helloo.. i'm 18.. i cant possibly still be standing at your waist.. well.. ya.. i think they remembered me when i was in pri. 1? or is it pri. 2? hmmm... ya... now i'm in poly yr. 2... so ya..
But i was busy peeling oranges for various people... lol.. and this kids asked me to play catching... play catching??? wahahahahahhaa... maybe next time ah.. when i meet them in jeans and t-shirt... hahaha...
Ahhhh.. Still cant stand it... SOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then i went to my cousins house.. ahhhh... met my nieces and nephews! Just wat i need to end my day... my nephew and niece... ahhh.. DROOLZ!!!
Sunday, December 12, 2004
FINALLY we went out jln raya.. muahahhaa...
First House - HIDAYAH'S
Second House - MINE!!!
Last House - MADEENA (The one that ALWAYS comes late)
ok ok.. lemme introduce who is who...
First up.. we have NUR HIDAYAH... The nonsensical beauty
Next in line... Ladies and gents.. Pls give a round of applause for MADEENA... The Beautifully PERASAN...
Last but not least... there's me.. NUR NADIRA.. The outrageously gorgeous and foreverly cute.. muahahhaa
Yes.. I just came back at about.. hmmm... 1240am?
ya... luckilly my grandmother never scold... well.. i dont think she realise that i came back already... she was peacefully asleep...
And deena... SERVES YOU RIGHT.. muahahaha.. there la.. wanna hurry the outing rite? when you come late rite?? muahahaha.. serves you right we end late and you cant go for Taufik's birthday bash.. muahahahha... *evil Laughs*
Anywayz, dont fret.. there's always next yr...
We took so many photos today.. near 100?? lol!!! yes yes.. i'll upload them when i figure out how to do certain things... muahahhahaa... i cant believe we took near to a hundred photos.. I never took that many photos in a single day in my entire life before...
and i think 3/4 of was crappy.... thanks to me.. being me... muahahhaa...
i was being the resident pain in the ass... taking photos w/o warning.. muahahhaa...
and towards the end... hidayah kinda caught my disease too.. muahahahha
Coz... FROM THIS kinda sweet and nice photos..
TO THIS
And we even took photos of the food we ate... to make advertisement out of it.. or to put in our "FUTURE" recipe book... that will be published in 30yrs time? ya.. most prob.. lol..
Jelly
TOP VIEW
SIDE VIEW
FOOD.. snacks.. watever you call it..
Chips Advert
So how? The pics?? tempting?? not bad rite?? of course la.. i take one wat.. well.. not all la... just the jelly and i gave instructions for the snacks.. muahahahhaha
yup... i will definitely upload the pictures here.. muahahahha...
Hmmm got a gallery for this particular outing.. YIPPEE!!! HariRaya04~Senoritas
Friday, December 10, 2004
NO MORE CANCELLATIONS... OR ELSE... *eyes staring at those who might cancel, dangerously*
SO wat was i suppose to be blogging about...
oh yes...
I think the time of the year has come again where i need to be grounded... no.. i havent been doing anything extremely bad that my mom needs to ground me.. i just need to ground myself...
Coz, for various reasons... i feel that i've not been good.. really.. i'm so guilty inside.. i just dun know wat to do... keeping things from her when i know i should have told her... why am i so afraid???
I just dont understand myself at times... its not as if i've been creating problems... its not as if i've been doing a crime.. but somehow.. i know that something is wrong...
there is just some disbelief of some sort in her voice... I wanna please her... But in the process of doing so, i think i've done even more damage by keeping things away from her and that at times telling her PART of the truth... i dunno why its bothering me so much.. but it is...
Its not helping when your grandmother is... ARGH!!! but nvm... i shall not say anything.. i understand where she is coming from.. she's old and she's conservative and she cares about me and my well-being... so i guess... i cant blame her...
and me? well.. i'm seeking for a place of comfort... *immerse self in a book*
Monday, December 06, 2004
So what did i do in the end? I went to my relative's house.. yes yes.. i havent finish visiting.. but half way thru.. my aunt from malaysia decided that we should go for a weekend getaway...
YES.. I WENT TO JOHOR OR DESARU OR WHEREVER IT WAS AT 930PM FROM SINGAPORE STILL IN MY BAJU KURUNG.. LIke thanks.. Yes i arrived at the resort or watever its called at 1130pm in my white baju kurung... well.. actually not only me, the whole car was in traditional costumes.. whahahaa
And the place... OH MAN.. where do i begin?? ITs like.. yucks! But luckilly the beach was nice.. it was soooo peaceful.. and sooo nice.. and soo windy... and the waves are huge! its really beauuutifulll...
OH ya.. for all those who intends to watch Puteri Gunung Ledang.. You guys should!! Its good in an epic sort of way... Catch it man.. its worth your money if you're the kind that loves LOTR + Devdas all in one.. hehehe... The first ever malaysian movie to be nominated in the academy or issit grammy? ah watever it is.. its an award show..
lalalallaa.. and now, i'm off to bed.. TMR GOT SCHOOL!! YAY YAY!! YAY YAY!! lol.. i'm mad..
Friday, December 03, 2004
My cousins are a pain in the ass...
They are seriously getting on my nerves at this time of the night... but nevermind.. i shall keep my cool...
But seriously, i feel like strangling someone.. aiyo.. i got nothing to say man...
DAMN irritating... eeeeeeeee... like irritating pest and buggers you know...
NO COMMENTS MAN..
aiyoh... GO AND SLP LA..
wat are you doing up man?? eeeeeee.....
Ok.. no use nagging here also.. its not as if they see it..
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Sch is starting this monday.. Ta-da!!
So fast!! Omg.. whahahaha.. i dunno whether or not i'm looking forward to this upcoming semester... SO SCARY!! i dunno la.. i very the kan-cheong..
Well, actually, i've been very kan cheong about alot of things... lallala.. so i gues.. kancheong-ing is going to stay around for quite some time..:P
oh ya...
This saturday's hari raya outing is on! ok?? Anyone who happen to be reading my blog and wants to come along.. just tell me.. okiez?
Oh ya.. For all those that has been living underneath a rock... yesh.. timetable is out!!! i already printed mine... wahahahah... i feel like a nerd.. print my timetable sooo early.. wahhahaha...
oh ya... wahahhaha... guess wat... wahahhaha.. omg... i just dunno where to start... but for those who knows what i'm talking about then very the good la... whahahaha.... if they think that i'm going to guide him?? they can dream on!!! lol..
He really have lots to prove to me sia.. *rolls eyes* think its so farking easy?? think again... you cant even fulfill a simple task.. wat makes you think you can do this?? But then again.. who am i to judge people till like that rite?? i might be wrong.. he might be able to shine even more with this role... *Shrugs* then good for him...
As for me? WHy am i still hanging around at something i dont feel belong in?? Coz, i have certain responsibilities to fulfill.. even after all that has happen?? hmm.. i'm really amazed at myself at times... and yet they still can call me irresponsible.. IDIOTS!!! once thats over i might be gone... HA!
sometimes, i'm just wasting my times on things thats not worth it... GRRRR~~!! they really have lots of things to prove me wrong sia... LOTS OF THINGS!!
Lalalalala.. i'm going to sleep soon.. have to be in school early tmr.. lalallalaa
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Got a belated b-day prezzie from my mom today... i have no idea why she still bought for me b-day prezzie.. i mean she already gave me the chocolates... *which mel took and never return*
Then she bought me earrings.. which is totally cool... its feathers.. i feel like a native american.. so pretty rite?? lol.. fine fine fine fine.. stop rolling your eye.. i love it.. but it tickles my ears.. oops.. i meant neck.. lol..
and today.. omg!!! i cant believe what i got... its soo cool!! its soo nice!! all i could do was stare at it speechless and screeched for the whole house to hear... the only thing i dont like about it is that its pink.. but then again.. it looks alittle purplish.. so ya.. its fine.. muahahahahha... i love it!!
Its so slim.. like my phone!!! but obviously its not a phone la.. DUH~! i mean how many phone do i want man.. tsk tsk tsk... i'm in love~~~ with it~~~!!!!!!
it leaked...
it didnt cracked, it didnt break.. it just leaked...
yes.. thats all that happened... it leaked.. and nothing else..
why?? coz, she managed to control it...
yes.. all that happened just now.. was still in control...
she thought she was going to die.. *LOL* coz, her life was flashing pass her... she was back to where it happened, when it happened, how it happened...
the wall that she created.. leaked.. the wall that was built.. that managed for her own mother to call her heartless.. yes.. that wall.. leaked.. with the tiniest hairline crack...
7 yrs she kept that wall up... but how was it.. that within minutes... it managed to leak?? is it because she never thought about it before... everything was just stored behind something... things that made her what she is...
Thursday, November 25, 2004
where do i begin??
haiz.. you either love them to bits.. or you hate them to the core...
my grandmother... can either be a pain in the neck.. or the sweetest angel you ever seen...
today she was a pain in the neck... thats one of the reason why i didnt go out today...
she was being.. a toootttt!!! *nvm.. i shall not say any harmful things here that anyone below 18 cannot read.. muahahhahaha*
Grandma grandma.. you're soooo naive at times!!! argh!! Is that all you can ever think off?? is that all???? ARGH!!!!! Sometimes.. just sometimes.. how i wish you can be like those grandmothers that love their grandchildren to bits... but nvm.. such days are over... it will never return..
*ok.. shut up nad.. shut up...*
There was rehearsal yesterday...
well.. we did the scene where devdas' mother chased him out of the house for the very first time...
surprise surprise...
I cried.. whahaahhahaha
shit man... lol... it was really.. erm.. i have no idea what to describe it as.. lol
SO ya... you know wat.. i have to slap people.. argh!! i hate this!! i feel so guilty.. coz, its like a little unreasonable rite for a mother to do such a thing over something so trivial?
Ya ya.. trivial for you but not for me.. might be the mother's answer...
aiyaiaiaiaiaia...
yes i cried.. y? no not because i was guilty slapping innocent pple... yes i was guilty but i wouldnt cry over it.. i mean.. c'mon i have to do it anyway...
but its just that... i was thinking if i'm a mother doing this... i mean how stupid can i get doing such a thing?? i mean so much for you doting on your son... and suddenly over small shit.. you chase him out of the house and give him a slap before that...
i mean what has he done to even deserve it rite?? and you do it because you listened to your daughter in law... let me repeat this.. DAUGHTER IN LAW!! you listen to an outsider but not to your son?? not to your own flesh and blood??
oh god.. such a mother i have yet to see...
no wonder he hates you...
i have to stop this... ok nad.. think of happy thoughts... lalallalalal
Just extremely tired.. *YAWNZ!*
So what was i going to do??
Oh yes... i'm gonna update about the so called sleep over that took place not too long ago...
Yes.. MONDAY...
There was a sleep over...
WHere? at my house la.. very the duh rite?
so ya.. was up talking to mel and gb-ing and arguing with him when the other 2 was peacefully sleeping away...
Purpose of this sleepover was to celebrate azi's b-day... but i guess azi was sick.. kay was falling sick.. and all of us were tired.. so nothing happening happened at the sleep over...
we were supposed to be baking a b-day cake.. but rehearsal ended too late for us to run to any supermarket to buy any ingredients of any sort... well.. we wouldnt wanna add inedible stuff and force her to stuff it down her throat or something rite??
so where was i?
yes... MELVYN LEE!! You need to learn how to wash your face properly.. seriously, i think thats the first time his face is ever SO CLEAN.. Alll thanks to who?? the great me of course.. muahahahah....
I mean its like.. I got a shock of my life watching him wash his face... that i was just itching to do it for him... so ya.. in the end, i got my way and washed his face.. whahahahaah... damn funny...
so we were playing gb and talking till around 730am... if i'm not mistaken at that point of time.. i was waiting for him to come out of the toilet... and the next thing i know.. i was asleep...
Seriously, the reason i wasnt sleeping from the night before was that i was afraid that i'd snore.. whahahaha.. stupid thing to be afraid off.. since, it never happened unless i just came back from camp.. but ya.. its still a scary thought that your friends might be witnessing you snore... LOL!!
But in the end, sleep took over...
I slept for 3hours... and i ihave no idea how i woke up... did i wake up on my own?? or did mel woke me up?? hmmm.. that one i forget already...
One thing that i know very well, is that....
they all come my house to catch up on their sleep one..
So much for mel stating in his blog that he doesnt wanna sleep in fear that he wouldnt wake up... well.. guess wat? he slept rite after breakfast... nonsense rite??
And thats all he did... slp, watch tv.. and wake up to complain that he was hungry before he actually fell asleep again.. LOL!
thats all they ever did i tell you.. the only person who was awake all the time besides the 3hours that she fell asleep was.. None other than ME! ya....
we were lazing around the WHOLE day... yes.. thats basically wat we did...
Nothing interesting came up besides the fact that my mom's room door was locked from the inside and there's no way i can bring anything interesting out from the room... coz, thats where i have most of my stuff.. coz, on normal days i sleep with my mom...
so ya... thats the only sad part... cannot experiment with things.. lol..
Then when we woke up on the tuesday.. we were supposed to be going jalan raya with the law peeps.. well, obviously we backed out of the outing at the last minute due to lack of sleep...
SO SORRY NAZ... We'll definitely try to go next yr... was looking forward to it actually... but nvm... we were falling asleep everywhere in the first place.. so its advisable not to go anywhere.. whahahahaha...
*To Mel:For your 411, you didnt snore.. k? dunno why you so worried abt it also.. whahahaha
Sunday, November 21, 2004
All the guests have left..
YAWN YAWN YAWN!!!
Time to do some stuff...
oh wait... need to get the dishes done..
tralallalala...
i so enjoy being a maid.. i think thats all i've been doing since this morning...
-------- wash dishes, serve drinks, refill drinks, wash dishes---------
and the cycle repeats itself...
Saturday, November 20, 2004
had a rather traumatising experience in the toilet...
I shall keep it to myself for the time being.. coz, i can sooo imagine hidayah's eyebrows falling out of her face when she reads what happened... whahahaha...
today was different...
today was surprising...
today was unpredictable...
today was an experience...
*TO AZI: Thanks for the b-day prezzie, really appreciate it.. and its cute!! mauahahaa.. i'm gonna sleep with it...
TO KAY: Don't worry your b-day present is also on my bed... wahahaha...
My bed is just getting much much much more crowded each day... Soon, i'll be the one sleeping on the floor and everything else on the bed...*
Aiyaiyaiyaiyaiyai...
Have you ever felt like dying?? Try having asthma.. Its an immediate effect on you.. You feel like a fish out of water... and the best part is that.. no one knows that you're suffering if you're having mild asthma...
coz, you look perfectly fine.. but you talk soooo fast coz, you wanna finish watever you wanna say so that you can breathe at the end.. but it never seems to end... and you feel like giving up half way...
and its really bothering you each time you cough... so if you no longer cough.. you no longer have asthma till the next attack which will be.. erm... in 2-3mths time?? or maybe 6mths to a yr??
And its frustrating.. esp for me.. so impatient rite?? Tell myself breathe properly also can get impatient... wahhahhahaha... lets just face it.. i'm weird in a way.. muahahaha...
If you're having asthma attack.. the full force one, my mom refers to it as the violin playing lead in an orchestra... Hmmm.. Just forget about controlling and hail a cab to the nearest 24hours clinic if you kena at 2or3am.. Coz, you cant even think, breathe or walk properly...
*Now this post sounds like something out of a pharmaceutical magazine*
Anywayz, where was i? Hmmm... yes.. if you feel like dying.. wahaha.. coz, everything from your lung to your heart seemed tooo big for your rib cage.... it just feels like bursting... but you're controlling it... and then...
you'll begin to wonder when will all of these end.... coz, you really do feel like a fish out of water... its really sucky.. YUCKS!! and soo.. eeee... wahahhaha
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Guess wat it is?? My Devdas' rehearsals... wahaha.. had rehearsal just now.. i'm just oh-so HIGH!!! muahaha... yest's 7-up ICE still have not left my system...
TA-DA!!
I'm so scared... wahahhaa.. of something.. wehehehhee... Which obviously something that i'm not telling.. muahahahhaha.. *Don't mind me.. i'm just mad.. as usual..*
Tmr's there's rehearsals.. I'm gonna pray hard that tmr ends a little early... Coz, most probably my cousin, Nadia, is coming over... Finally, After 4yrs? Don't ask why.. i just have a weird family.. That's all.. nothing much.. Or rather that is to cut a long story short.. hehehehe...
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Its the morning of the 3rd day of hari raya... Tsk tsk tsk .. so fast ah?? tsk tsk tsk.. Aiyaiyaiyaiyai... This yr like never take photo like that.. so sad... i love my red baju kurung already... then sekali no film.. wahahha.. that was farnie..
Anywayz, the first day,
It was a rather interesting day... Siok Lan came over.. *you're coming over again rite??* Anywayz, where was i? oh ya.. first day of hari raya.. Went to meet my grandfather...
Tralallalala... I was like.. smiling and talking away.. I have no idea why on earth am i in such a great mood when i only slept at 430am that morning... and then.. i realised.. since when i talk soooo much?? lol!!!
Met all my uncles at my cousin's place... *well.. my visiting list just gets longer.. buahahaha.. more green packets!!!* chit chat with my longest-time-no-see cousin... and we only left the house at 130am...
Then.. reached home... i was happily chatting away with my mom.. obviously not allowing her to sleep... then at 330am my cousins from malaysia arrived... why 330am?? Coz, they were stuck in a traffic jam on the causeway for 3hours!! There lah.. ask to take secondlink dont wanna listen...
Then talked to my other cousin, Baby. She was updating me about her relationship and obviously i got surprise of the month.. wahahhaa.. but thats another story...
So ya.. we were talking talking talking... when suddenly my grandmother is already awake.. walking around the house.. waiting for the morning prayers.. then we scrambled into the rooms like mice hoping that my grandma didnt notice...
at that point of time it was 605am..
then.. we went to sleep la.. guess wat time all of us was pushed out of our beds? around 11am... aiyo.. can die ah.. obviously we ignored all the pinchings and pushings only wake up at 1pm.. whahaha!! typical me.. i know.. :P
then obviously went out.. Today not so bad.. got take photos!!!! whee!! wahahaha.. so nice... *i feel so bright this hari raya.. i wore my lime green kebaya just now.. wahahhaa...*
Yes yes.. let's not digress... and ya.. not its 349am... i've finished typing this blog... and i'm still not sleeping yet... and tomorrow will be another long day..
TA-DA!
*Oh ya.. i'm still sick.. thats the best part... my voice... minah rocker!!! wahahaha*
Dammit dammit dammit!! Shit shit shit shit!!! That's it.. That's definitely it! All i ask was for some consideration... But what did i receive?? Freakingly irritating smses from you!!! idiot!!
Demand demand demand!! Is that all you guys ever know?!?!? IDIOT!!! One day.. just one day.. i'm definitely gonna do the same thing to you... JUST WAIT!!!
Confusion?!?!?! WHo's the one confusing things here?? WHo's the one who is making a short story short?? Who's the one who is freaking beating around the bush?!?!?!?
IDIOT!! Don't talk about confusion to me when you yourself don't know your stuff...
Stop wasting my time if you dont know wat you're suppose to do... Don't ask me for my things.. when you haven't done yours... Dont try to change the fucking subject to avoid my questions!!!
Don't try to remind me of things when you yourself have difficulties meeting YOUR OWN FUCKING DATELINES!!! and don't you even dare to give me datelines.. especially when you yourself cant do it!!!
spoil my mood and you get a screaming phonecall from me...
Friday, November 12, 2004
Wheee... And bought everything including coconut leaves to make ketupats..
Talking about coconut leaves... Grrrr...
Guess how much it cost to buy the freaking coconut leaves?? $6 for 100 pcs.. Its madness at its most critical stage i tell ya!!!!
GRRR!!! luckilly my mom friend was there.. if not... i would have created so much noise there... I mean who in the world sell coconut leaves for that kinda price?!?!?!
SIAO! PIECE OF SHIT... Its like 4 times profit la!!! Idiot!! Wanna cut throat.. also cut reasonably la..
Oh ya..
How nice... Sunday's hari raya... and today i'm sick.. no actually not today.. it started since yesterday... got a sore throat and and and and... a... oh ya.. runny nose... grrr!! i better recover by monday latest.. or else...
I'm gonna miss out on a lot of nice nice interesting looking delicacies.. wahahhaha...
Thats the sound of my house... Its definitely Squeaky clean... I can even see my own reflection on the floor..
well. obviously, i havent been contributing to the cleaning of the house much... I only cleaned my study room and its windows and hang the curtains in my mom's room.. That's all...
Finally my study room.. Is CLEARED!! wahaha.. mission accomplished!! my table is CLEAR.. My cupboard is somewhat cleared.. but the thing is that... it looks presentable again...
And hari raya is this sunday... Sooooooo exciting!! I have no idea why i'm looking forward to is also... Wahahahaaa...
Wheee.... I'm mad!! Yay!!!
Monday, November 08, 2004
Muahahhahaha...
I'm bored.. you know wat?!? I still havent clean the windows... I shall do it.. One day!! No no no.. Not one day.. I'll do it tmr.. Latest on wednesday.. if not thursday.. wahahaha...
I'm such a pig.. Well, cant help it if i'm like soo lazy to do anything at the moment.. BUt but but, i'll do it.. CONFIRM! or else... There goes my head.. my mom will hang it at the door to welcome the guests..
My house like soo Hari Raya... Wahaha.. actually come to think of it.. Its actually more of the just-move-in look.. Coz, my study room looks like a junkyard! No wonder my mom keeps asking me to clean it...
My aunt is in the room modifying curtains.. and embroidering someones' baju kurung... I have to clean the study room and sequined my baby cousin's baju kurung... which i managed to finish it.. but not the cleaning part... and my mom is doing something to the sofa..
SO ya.. Thats about the state of my house for today...
Tralallalalaa...
Let's see.. what else?!?!?1
OH YA!! LOOK OUT PEEPS... DEVDAS IS ON THE WAY!!
Its gonna be around the corner before you know it!! lol..
It'll be on the 29th and 30th december...
Ta-da!
Sunday, November 07, 2004
And we've been going out.. Coz, i need to buy my baju kurung and my shoes and some things...
And just now... Oh man.. Haiz... ARGH!!!!! why in the world does have to say that?? coz, yesterday or whenever she fell down.. then she was like... why am i always falling down?? i just stared at her.. and the next thing that came out of her was that.. Maybe i'm dying...
I was like.. WHAT?!?!?!??!? and obviously it followed by a screeched or screamed or watever it was there and then...
I cant even believe we had that conversation... ARGH!!!
AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, November 06, 2004
So ya, Deena and Hidayah... You guys no need to quarrel with me and threaten me with stuff to get tickets.. I'm sorry.. BUt ya.. Maybe some other time you guys will be able to see me act.. muahahhaa.. And i know you guys already planned on coming on 2nd Dec... Coz, its Deena's birthday... So ya.. I'm very sure we'll have a plan B rite?
And to some others who i've informed abt this production... I'm sorry, but dont worry... you guys will get to watch it next semester break.. that's a definite! okies?
Actually, i really wanted mom to see... the very first time for her to watch me act... but nvm.. there's always some other time...
All thanks to someone who has created a mess and forgot to clean it up... SO ya..
I'm not suspecting anyone... i prefer to remain on neutral grounds...
Thanks alot.. i really appreciate it! i really do... Maybe you should do it more often and destroy more of people's hard work and the dreams of all those that's actually looking forward for this to happen..
Monday, November 01, 2004
It was the first time i baked it.. and it was DISASTROUS.. lol!!
I think i measured the sugar and flour wrongly... so it the cake turned out to be damn sweet...
Then, you know.. have to bake layer by layer rite? then, after each layer.. you have to sort of press it lightly... i think i pressed to too hard... so in the end.. my cake was stunted..
it was damn hilarious.. after an hour of baking or so.. and everything is done...
I took out the cake from the tray.. and it was half the height on the normal cake my aunt bakes.. and its as hard as rock!!! wahahahahahhaa....
if i were to throw it against the wall.. it will definitely create a crater~..
I officially wash my hands off any future cake lapis bakings of any sort...
but surprise surprise.. today, my aunt ask me to try again... and guess wat?!?!?1
I SUCCEEDED!!! muahahahah.... it tasted the same.. its nice.. the layer is fine.. and i'm proud of myself.. wahahahahhaa... and its soft!!
this time if i were to throw it towards the wall.. its the cake that will break not the wall.. so ya..
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!
Friday, October 29, 2004
Speak Softly Love
by Al Martino
Speak softly love
And hold me warm against your heart
I feel your words
The tender trembling moments start
We're in our world
Our very own
Sharing a love that only
Few have ever known
Wine colored days, warmed by the sun
Deep velvet nights, when we are one
Speak softly love
So no one hears us but the sky
The vows of love we make
Will live until we die
My life is yours
And all because
You came into my world with
Love so softly love
[Musical interlude]
Speak softly love
So no one hears us but the sky
The vows of love we make
Will live until we die
My life is yours
And all because
You came into my world with
Love so softly love
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Let's see.. On 25th October...
Wat happened?? Well, my burfday is just like any other day.. nothing much really.. came to school for rehearsals... left when rehearsals are over.. went to TM.. Mel decided to watch THE GRUDGE! sht man.. Even on my birthday i still cant get to pick a movie!! This is unfair!!
So watched THE GRUDGE with azi, kay and mel and of course.. me! wahaha.. even though i tried to run to the bus stop.. but obviously in vain.. i was imprisoned.. lol.. i shouldnt go into smaller detail abt wat happen..
But the thing is.. i didnt actually watch it.. coz.. i spend 99% behind mel's sweater, mel's arm, my bag and the popcorn box.. and also whimpering away and silently cursing each time azi poked me to scare me..
And i really shouldnt write all that... i think i've just ruin my reputation.. or watever reputation i have in the first place...
and i make it sound as if my birthday was damn unhappening.. but i had fun though.. i'm turning cuckoo this week..
Then then then... yesterday.. i met the 2 senioritas as hidayah call us..
They treated me to swensens at crowne prince hotel.. and they're like nagging at me for reaching late..
i mean like helloooo.. i'm the birthday girl here... just wait for me and stop complaining.. muahahha..
we took loads of pics.. it's really crappy la.. at how i spoil the pics and make sure that i outshine them.. whahaha... and that i'm the only one that look nice in there.. wahahaha.. by the end of the photo taking session.. they were ready to strangle me.. muahahaha
oh ya.. they gave me this spirally looking, heart shaped-pendant and necklace from perlini's... alamak.. so sweet...
i mean i seriously didnt expect anything from anyone on my birthday la.. treating me to swensens was enough.. and getting such a present.. i was speechless...
To the extent.. they were like.. "OI NAD... Say something la.. Usually you like to comment wat.. now so quiet for wat?!?!?!"
I mean.. HELOOOO!!! I don't actually comment on everything you know.. especially not on things people give me...
Then we were chilling around... talking and updating each other on the happenings in our lives... sitting around and laughing our heads off... and did we embarrass ourselves yest?? i cant really remember that bit..
but i think we did.. lol.. i mean it wouldnt be a perfect outing if we dont embarrass ourselves... its like our trademark... doing something for the fun of it.. lol!
But i really truly love the present.. really.. its sweet and its nice.. :P thanks for everything guys... really appreciate it..
Oh ya.. Hidayah darling.. such nice pics eh? And i'm seriously stressed about my pics... ahh... I seriously will definitely go on diet now.. I mean i look like a friggin' teddy bear!!
Monday, October 25, 2004
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Haiz.. its written everywhere... sheesh..
1) Guilt because you've given a responsibility.. but you cant be bothered to do it anymore... maybe coz, i'm tired? i dont know... maybe i already lost interest long time ago.. could that be it?
Or maybe I was just hanging around coz i'm afraid to break that news to people? Oh well.
2)Guilt because everything else is wrong and you're just adding to the disappointment... haiz..
Sometimes i wonder why do i have to be me? Why can't i be someone else with the PERFECT life?
Ah. Watever.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Always expect the unexpected...
Why?
It'll reduce shock..
It'll reduce whatever else you're suppose to feel..
Therefore, it'll not leave you disappointed...
It'll put a certain expectation about a particular something...
It'll definitely will teach you something by the end of the day...
so people...
~Brace yourselves!~
::if only there were answers...::
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
We (Me & Mel) was walking around century square trying to fill our time, thinking of wat to do... and obviously talking crap at the same time.... Well, the aim was to walk one round of every floor before proceeding to the next floor...
WALK WALK WALK WALK TALK TALK TALK TALK
--------- Walked the entire round, time to go upstairs------------
So we were walking towards the escalator...
Reached the escalator, stepped on it.. and guess wat???
Then and ONLY then we realised that the escalator was going DOWN instead of UP!!!
Ahhhhh So embarrassing!!!
And when we turned around... All red and embarrassed.. guess wat?? there was people who followed our lead and was behind us to go up as well... wahahahhaa... We nearly died of laughing... whahahaa... that was lame...
Monday, October 18, 2004
That was the quote of the day by our dear Miss Kabetha Bai...
Tralalallaa...
I'm bored...
It's the 4th day of Ramadhan...
Its the first day of the week...
and the 18th day of the month...
and yes, once again... i'm bored...
oh wait, i'm not bored.. i'm just sleepy... Aiyah.. i dunno lah.. i think i left my brain somewhere...
oh ya.. HIDAYAH!!! you were saying about coming over for break fast rite? Pls sms me the details stating when you're coming and with who.... muahahhahaa.... lol...
wat else ah? oh ya.. i'm scared.. of.. erm... erm... kabby
*hides in a pail... if i can find one that is big enough...*
Friday, October 15, 2004
Well... Let's say... This particular person is not a friend of any sort... just some acquantaince of yours that would appreciate your presence at a certain place...
Tell me, who in their right mind would come running and to add to it, the call was received at a last minute rite?? IDIOTS!
What do you take me for? Just someone who would do anything you'd ask.. In case you forgot, not everyone is like you... Come running to anything just because you receive a call and you're invited...
Who would even come at a last minute notice... i know i wont... Me and THE REST OF THE POPULATION won't!!!
Sheesh.. Don't try to explain yourself to me when i can no longer be bothered to even listen... So much for logic... Tell me the neccessity of that and i'll think abt it again...
I know my duties... dammit.. but don't try to make a fool out of me.. even if you informed me on monday... I'd still wont be able to give you a positive answer...
What if you were informed the prev week? well... definitely no definite answer but you'd keep in mind that you were invited to something... most prob, you'd turn up.. am i rite?
What if you were given the task to call and invite a person and the event is tmr... would you even do it? ARGH!
Trust me. If you did, You'll end up embarrasing yourself and whatever you represented... coz, whoever you call will DEFINITELY have a bad impression...
And when you cant solve something... you look for me even for something so minor??? Thank god it wasnt in person... If it was.. I would have shoved the middle finger in his face!!!
What do you take me for?? Someone who you can dump all your shit on? and you'd know it will still be cleaned up?!?!?! If that's what you think... You can BLOODY well DREAM ON!!
Coz, i'm no longer taking responsibilities for your actions... Whatever you do... You jolly well think of an answer if you screw it up... And whatever the reason is... YOU better DON'T push it to me... I'd definitely slap your face right there and then!
ARGH!!! IDIOTS!! Why did god even create them?? They just take up TOO much space on this beautiful earth which they tend to contaminate at times...
BLOODY HELL!!! i'm just so pissed rite now!!!!
Monday, October 11, 2004
It's 2.14am... I cant sleep and i have no purpose to be awake... Such a problem.. LOL!!
Newsflash: Exams is over!!! Whooppie doo!!!
Oh yeah oh yeah... Starts doing a stupid dance followed by a chicken dance*
How was my exams? muahahahha... I'd be thankful if i just pass... that was how bad it is... Oh wait.. Maybe i was exeggerating a little... But nevertheless.. It was hell!!!
Contract and Crim Pro.. Sheesh!! At least Contract was much better... 10X better then Crim.. and i have a feeling that my LCOMM is gonna be pulled down a grade coz, i still cant find the stupid "W/o prejudice" letter... SHT LAH... There goes my dream of a possible dist...
ENOUGH OF THE MIND DRAINING TOPICS!
Let's move on to whatever is in store for me in this upcoming weeks:
I'm just oh so free rite now... lol!!! i can practically do somersaults!! *Ok.. i can hear kay nagging or rather threats: "You better enjoy it coz, it gonna end soon"
Well all i can say is that... At least, mine doesnt end that early.. not like the particular someone who is definitely going to tag about this particular point when he reads this particular entry.. muahaha..
*Oh my, that's alot of 'particular's used*
I shall not digress... But one thing is that... I know i'm not gonna be THAT free... lol!! I still remember during the june hols when i was seriously free.. and i was telling myself that... IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE...
Well, true enough... this hols, i'm packed.. muahahha.. I think it has something to do with yr-end hols, it happened when i was in yr1 too.. i didnt have any dec hols!!! but that was all in the past..
Its time to move on.. lol..
Let me see, what did i do on Saturday after contract?
Oh yes, went for lunch... You'd never guess the torture i went through just to settle for a place to go to... and yes, having a non-stop hits companion doesn't help.. He continously nags from the moment we stepped out of school till after lunch... IT WAS TORTURE... coz, it was an exprience worst than those of my grandma's...
And the best part was that... he nags about everything and anything... and after awhile.. i started mimicking him.. muahahaha!!! obviously, that got more nagging from him... But besides the nagging it was quite fun... walking around terminal 1 & 2.. *yes, we ended up at the airport... how creative rite?*
And today? I went to the cemetery again.. to finish up my grave painting.. now its done.. and i'm so gonna disappear from the house this coming weeks coz, my mom is gonna start her spring cleaning... *HELPP!!*
And.. tomorrow? I'm gonna drop by during rehearsal and later go for exco meeting... sht man.. stupid woman just gave me a list of chores to do and to be presented tmr during meeting.... I shouldnt be online man.. each time i'm online.. she gives me things to do.. grrr...
*In an evil voice: "Sumitra-kaki's timing is always opportune"
*hmmzzz... i have to start memorising my OWN lines... not other's.... [Trails away]*
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Coz, Tomorrow:
I'll be having my very own... JUDGEMENT DAY!! muahahahha...
Judgement day is the same as Crim Pro exam.. Coz, i think that's the end of my life.. muahahha.. i'm getting no where with my scenario.. I mean it can't be THAT difficult rite?? We're just 18 yr olds trying to do our best...
But wat do we get?? We have to solve a drug scenario which is totally far fetched...
Its one of those... You-think-this-kinda-thing-will-never-happen-but-nothing-is-impossible-in-this-course-kinda-scenario... i think you get wat i'm trying to say...
But one thing for sure is that.. if i were to pursue law after my diploma.. NO WAY AM I GONNA GO INTO CRIMINAL LAW!!! I think i'm having phobia of it...
~Criminalawhobic~ or EVEN more accurate.. ~Criminalprocedureobic~
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
times.. Muahahaha... Took it from Soffie's Blog.. Interesting answers as usual.. lol!!
I am the Charmer Charm is seduction without sex. Charmers are consummate manipulators, masking their cleverness by creating a mood of pleasure and comfort. Their method is simple; they deflect attention from themselves and focus it on their target. They understand your spirit, feel your pain, adapt to your moods. In the presence of a Charmer you feel better about yourself. Learn to cast the Charmer's spell by aiming at people's primary weaknesses: vanity and self-esteem. Symbol: The Mirror. Your spirit holds a mirror up to others. When they see you they see themselves: their values, their tastes, even their flaws. Their lifelong love affair with their own image is comfortable and hypnotic; so feed it. No one ever sees what is behind the mirror. |
What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society
Guys Like That You're FunYou're the type of girl guys brag about knowingThat's because you're cool, funny, and laid back You're smart enough to know how to be one of the guys But flirty enough to know how to make them all want you What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |
You Are a Natural Beauty!You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about...One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeup That's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though You have style, but for you, style is effortless What Type of Beauty Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |
Ok i never knew that there is such a quiz... But flavour:Dr.Pepper??? That is EWwwww~~~!!! LOL!!
Your Lip Gloss Flavor Is: Dr. PepperSaying that you're one of a kind is ... well ... an understatement.
|
OK.. This QUIZ IS PRICLESSSS!!! Muahahahaha
You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too ShyWhen a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catchProblem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know. From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide. Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |
Monday, October 04, 2004
But no.. I shall persevere...
*was wondering why yest's post didnt appear... realised that i accidentally hit the Save as Draft button.. How dumb?? Sheesh...*
I just have to look thru once.. And that's it.. I'm hitting the sacks...
Found my pen... Now i need to look for my ruler and eraser... How pathetic is that you tell me?? Me looking for a ruler and eraser the nite or rather morning of the exams... Sheesh... Only show's one thing.. How unprepared i am... haiz...
The LAST MINUTE Checklist for the Desperate
Pen -------------------- Check
Pencil ------------------ Check
Matric Card ------------ Check
Lead ------------------- Check
Bag -------------------- Check
Charge phone ---------- Check
Calculator -------------- Check
Brain ------------------- Still Pending *I'll only find out tmr if i bring my brain to sch or not
Set alarm -------------- Check
Remember to wake SC up - Pending
ruler ------------------- UNFOUND... Declared LOST!
Eraser ----------------- UNFOUND... Declared LOST!
*I can do this... it's not that bad... I wont allow history to repeat itself.. no... I will not allow the same thing that happened to econs to happen to accounts... No.. i'll never forgive myself if i did the freaking stupid mistake twice... [Nags at self... trying to motivate self..]*
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Went to the cemetery today...
Purpose: To repaint the grave... And i totally destroyed my jeans coz, the black paint spilled rite on my lap... and i had to go home from Choa Chu Kang to Hougang like that...
And i'm so NOT gonna include my mom in any future painting jobs... I seriously wonder how she managed to get her shoes covered with yellow spots.. and her face.. tsk tsk tsk...
Scene:
It's quiet.. calm.. a place where you can truly be at peace...
While i was painting it... Memories just flowed through my mind like an endless river... I was caught up with my colouring and of course, the memories...
No not the memories of my late grandfather or late uncle.. i've never met them before... so no memories was ever created with them in it... Just memories of my life...
So many things have happened, so many ups and there's even more downs... There were times that i gave up... there were times that i barely manage to pull through...
I've said so many things to people... To people i'm related too.. i'm close with... i'm not so close with *Well if i say anything harsh to pple i'm not close with.. obviously its coz they deserve it... but anywayz,*...
I did so many things in my life... Things that I can never forget... Things that others will never forget... and also actions that have went unnoticed...
I've hurt so many people with my anger, my frustrations, my words, my hatred, my expression, my tone, my views....
Hurt people i'm suppose to respect, hurt people i'm suppose to love, hurt people i'm suppose to cherish...
I'm afraid if i loose everything... Afraid of what the future will bring, scared of ALL the possibilities... Afraid that i'll hurt more people... Afraid that there will be no light at the end of the tunnel... Frightened that there is NO such thing as a happy ending...
You make your own decisions... You be responsible for your own actions... How it is that throughout your life... you make decisions for yourself and it changes your life? everything here is you.. you and you alone.. nothing... just... Alone... One.. YOU...
I look at the grave and amazed how its meant to be for one... Alone... The word seemed to be planted there...
Certain things are just meant to be that way... Nothing will ever change it... I just have to remember... I'm alone... I have to believe in myself and watever i do... I was born to this world as the only child... and when i die... i'll be buried alone...
Dear God,
Forgive me for i have sinned
Thursday, September 30, 2004
A time of from school.. to do wat?? Study for exams... But wat am i doing??
I literally took the meaning.. Study break equates to a break FROM studying... Nice huh?? hehehe...
Staying at home for this week... is really shytie! Argh... I think i'm stressed.. about wat?? that i don't know.. I guess its just that there's lots of things going on at the moment... haiz.. *Nad!! Focus!! Certain things are not meant for YOU to worry about!!
Ok one of the reasons why staying at home is shytie is that... I do everything BUT study... Really!! I open the book.. And off i go to dreamland... I wake up... Take the book... And growl growl goes the stomach... and of i go in search of food... Haiz.. I wouldn't be surprised if couldn't fit into my jeans to go to sch next week...
I've been munching and munching and chewing and chewing... All dayyyyy & all niteeee.. that's bad.. rite??
Ok enough! I need to go study!! NAD!! STUDY NOW!!! *Slaps self*
Ahhhh... i hear something.... "Open me... gain knowledge... its for your own good... Nooo... Don't be afraid.. its just me.. Your Contract notes..." *faints*
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
THE GHOST
*what kinda title is that??? So.. cheesy?? you put that title for a horror movie?? Wat an irony sia*
Let's see this is the... erm.. i can't remember...
Recently went to watch 'Face', before that was?? well i cant remember wat was before 'Face' but wat i remebered was that this month is like a horror movie marathon or something.. Must be the 7th month... wahahha
Anywayz, let's talk about ghost..
Supposed to be studying in school... and then wat happens?? Mel.. happily calls Azi and later MY MOM!!! to ask them whether or not they wanna watch movie.. and then kabby.. so ya.. its a 5 person conference call when i'm opposite mel.. seriously wondering why both of us are wasting phone bill when he could have used his speaker phone thingy...
If you guys are attracted to the trailer you see on TV MOBILE.. You guys are fooled!!! Its not exactly the greatest horror movie ever made... sheesh.. I personally think that it sucked... i mean its not coz, i hate horror movies.. but it just suck.. whahaha
The storyline is gone.. its really haywire... there is really no logic in there... no link from one scene to the next... and the ending is really gone... its spoilt.. and i wonder why new paper rates it 4 out of 5... *mel.. are you sure that's wat you see?? 4 out of 5??*
And my mom concluded that it might be something only the Koreans are able to understand... lol!!!
And the best part is that... i was cowering most of the time behind my mom's arm... and then? what was i doing?? i was the one explaining to my mom about the story and mel was clarifying some of his doubts with me...
It's either that i have x-ray eyes, able to see through my mom's arm OR that i understand Korean... to be able to understand the story without having to watch the whole thing and later explain to pple what the story is really about...
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
THAT
i've logged into my yahoo account everyday and so MANY times in a day
Well.. Its because.. my dearest Azizah introduced me to Yahoo! pool..
*nice time ah?? Study break you know!! Influence me into all this online gaming.. tsk tsk tsk.. Ok ok fine.. its my fault tooo.. I could have ignored.. hahahaha but.. i tend to give in to temptations.. lol*
Oh ya... where was i?? Hmmzzzz....
Oh yes yes.. what did i do today?? NUFFING!! NUFFING AT ALL!! i'm suppose to study!! but that's the word.. SUPPOSE TO.. but am i doing it?? NOooooo... *Nags at self but in vain*
OH YA!! DID YOU WATCH AMERICA'S TOP MODEL 2?!?!? Fuyooo!!! HOoOoTtt!! Mercedes and camille.. wooohooo!!! wahahahhaa....
ok i think that's all for now.. hehehe...
Sunday, September 26, 2004
And next week is study break.. and the week after that is exams.. and after that.. i have rehearsals.. and more rehearsals.. and then i predict one or some of the rehearsals i'll be coming in my hari raya clothes.. ya...
Went to Little India today..
wheeee!!! i'm gonna go back there again next week.. coz i forgot to buy my anklets!! sheesh.. My mother la.. Rush me.. Well.. actually for my own good also la.. since i was fasting today...
My purpose of going there was to buy accessories to match my kebayas and most prob hunt for some stuff la... then instead of buying anything for hari raya... I got a pair of earrings which i'm currently in love with!!! wahahhaa.. ITS SOOOO NICEEE!!! ok ok.. nad.. stop!!!
Then.. got some food home for a stall which we always buy it from.. Ohhh SOOOO CUTEEE!! whahahaha...
Anywayz, later at night.. received a phonecall... ARGH!! So scary!! sheesh.. i dun even know who he is and he ask me to meet him and go out with him?!?! sheesssh!!! never sia!! the best part was that after he said hello... he was like.. do you have a boyfriend??
I mean... what kinda qn is that?? even better.. to start a conversation?!?!?! i think ah.. if he took LCOMM.. he sure will fail his ice breaker sia..
Meet some buggers online while playing pool... who called me racist due to my username... i mean.. WTH!??!?!!? sheesh.. human beings!!!
and kay.. you really wanna know the conversation during our dinner ah?? but ah.. its either you will chop of our heads.. or you'll die.. or you'd chop off our heads and THEN die...
Friday, September 24, 2004
Let's see what happened today?? Well, it started off with my mom not allowing me to go to school.. coz, SHE WAS ON LEAVE.. That's my mom... hahahha... Well, its really difficult to get a mom stopping you from going to school coz she wants you at home to spend time with her.. Yes yes... my mom.. at times, when she is too free... i think she is the perfect example...
Well, obviously thanks to certain parties... i entered accounts tutorial 20minutes later than usual time..
Anywayz, had a LCOMM consultation just now.. yes.. The very same one that i was worried about yesterday! And guess wat?? I got a shock of my life... Well.. i think my whole group got a shock of their life.. Really.. no kidding...
The expression on our faces was just PRICELESS!! lol.. really, truly priceless... hehehehe... It was just UNBELIEVEABLE!!
Anywayz, i got my very first warning letter in my poly education... From Accounts... How thoughtful of the tutor huh?? And the best part was that... i didn't get scolding from my mom... instead it was an educational and informative "lecture"... Guess what she was going on and on about??
Trying to make me understand when 'BCC:' applies... Caring huh?? wahahaha...
Oh ya.. had my French Speaking test just now... Oh man.. I seriously dunno how i'll fair.. Its just damn hilarious... And then guess wat?? Went to meet my mom coz she was complaining on how I'M BEGINNING TO NEGLECT HER...
But anywayz, met her... and we went to watch movie... The Great Challenge. Its a new movie i think. Its all action-pack la... And none of the stunts were special effects... The fighting was just POWER TO DA MAX!! wahahaha....
And the main language in the show is... *Jeng Jeng Jeng....* If you guessed FRENCH, you just hit the jackpot baby.. whahahaha... English was at it's minimal... French was main.. Then there was a sprinkle of Thai somewhere.. and some American-sounding Mandarin.. *Their mandarin really sucks!* as well as Japanese... What a mix man.. lol!!
And to think of it... I understand the French part quite well... wahahhaa.. without having to read the subtitles... I'm so proud of myself.. Wahahahaha
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Then i remembered the reason why.. LOL!! All my projects are over... Muahahahha...
And i can't believe i'm saying this... But is the very first time that i missed my groupmates.. Can you imagine that?? Ok pple.. Raise your hands if you miss your project groupmates.. I'm sure that all of you cant wait to get rid of them... Well surprise surprise.. I miss their company...
That is what happen.. Ladies and gentleman.. when you're in my course and you got so many projects to the extent that your group members are all you see... So when project finish, you tend to wonder why you're so free and why suddenly your group members are no longer hanging around in your face.. muahahaha
so ya...
Who are my group members?
*Drum Rolls*
Let me present to you:
Lili, Wahidah, Fiza and Nuraini
*Speaking of which.. tmr got lcomm consultation.. i'm scared!!!*
Anywayz, ya.. My group members.. To tell you the truth i never thought i would actually get along with them... hehehe... sorry.. but just stating the truth la.. But now.. Wahahah... I just wanna say that.... YOU GUYS ROX!
Gonna miss you guys.. That's a definite.. :P hehhee.. ok ok.. enough of this.. hehehhe
And
Ohhh Myyy Godd!!
Some parts of it.. I think the actors can just record their voice and play it over and over again..
For example:
*p: you can. one can do anything one wants.
d: can you elope with me tonight?
p: what are you saying?
d: can you elope with me?
p: you've no one to look after you.
d: can you elope with me? *
No offence kay... You know i'm just playing around.. *Gives my most CHARMING smile*
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Haiz...
Came to school just for a one hour lecture.. Heloooo... How hard working can i get rite??
the answer is: VERY.. muahahaha...
Maybe i should just go home now..
Oh ya.. i forgot the reason why i'm still in school.. I'm waiting for the other two.. Just hope that they won't forget me.. muahahhaa... i'll just strangle their necks and flush them down the toilet... MUahahha... *evil grinz*
Monday, September 20, 2004
I'm sleepy...
I'm bored..
I'm dying..
And i'm a pig...
Why?? Coz, currently i'm hungry...
Anywayz, i dunno whether or not i'm late handing up the assignment today... Haiz... Havent slp.. and i need to go home soon to change into formal for tonight's Law Investiture.. Why did i even leave my things at home you tell me??
Should have brought it to school and changed later.... Sheesh...
At times i'm just amazed at my own stupidity...
Sunday, September 19, 2004
I wonder is there really light at the end of the tunnel??
Or maybe a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow....
I wonder when will things change for the better...
I no longer wanna witness this anymore...
Its enough...
Maybe its about time it SHOULD end...
If only i could be in control... of everything.... or at least something...
It was fun in a very interesting way... Finally showed my mum my sufferings.. Wahahaha.. Finally she understood.. wahaha..
Hmmzzz...
Off to do my contract soon i think... After i managed to pester my mum to go eat dinner.. Yes yes.. DINNER!!
Friday, September 17, 2004
I'm dying.. Can someone materialise to get me out of this sleepiness and boredom...
Oh wait.. I forgot.. I left Daphnie at the TV area.. Muahahaha.. here i come!! lol...
Oh shyte.. I havent practice my monologue.. I'm so gonna kill myself soon.. Sheesh... NAD.. GET AN ORGANIZER!!
Hmmzzz.. i think even if i got one.. don't think i'll be using it also.. Unnecessary weight added to the stupid bag of mine.. Speaking of bag.. i need to pay Azi $25... Hmmzzzz.... this is bad.. very bad...
YAWNZ!!
Hmmzzz.. *wondering where's the other 3...*
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
SHEESH!!
To my 'DEAREST AND MOST BELOVED FRIENDS'... DEENA AND HIDAYAH!
YES.. My dearests.. I thought we were suppose to meet up on Saturday after planning for it on Friday nite.. Rite??
And i was happily looking forward to it when Saturday morning came and my phone beeped with a sms *I'm sure all of you know wat is SMS and i dont need to further explained.. For those of you who is still clueless.. I would really appreciate it if you could do all of us a favour and shoot yourself in the head*.... DEENA: "Sorrie Nad. Today's Plan cancel."
My darlings... dearests of dearests... sugar-coated.. pumpkin pies... the apple of my eye......
WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPEN SIA?? I AM WAITING FOR AN EXPLAINATION HERE AND I WILL DEFINITELY BE EXPECTING IT SOON!!
And the explaination better be one good one or else.. you guys will be hanging from the ceiling fan i tell ya.. And it better not be a decision made solely by someone who is so famous and reputated to cancel outings last minute.. Do you hear me?? I'm WAITING!!
MUahahhahaa.... Ok. I sound mean.. and I feel mean... Sheesh... But these people ah... Grrr... *Chews on a banana*
REMEMBER: Explaination is much appreciated... OR RATHER I'M WAITING...
Monday, September 13, 2004
Ya.. Took Photos.. and i realised something.. The camera can never be in Mel's hands.. Sheesh!! He takes ugly photographs~!! Muahahhahaha... And AZI~~!! Next time take photos ah.. pls inform first can... Aiyoh...
I'm so stressed rite now!!! ARGH!!! My face!! ARGH!!! Time for some facial and some... ARGH!!!!! I'm stressed!!!! OH SO STRESS!!
OH ya.. Some funny happened today... On our way home.. We were crossing the field towards Pasir Ris Interchange today when suddenly Julianna... "EEE... So scary wait got Anaconda" oh ya.. and there was Tania... "Go eat grass! when azi was complaining that she was hungry.. lol!!
My comp is back... My blog is fine.. Everything is fine again.. Muahahhaa...
Yes yes yes.... Muahahaha.. now i can type at the comfort of my home and not fear that my entry will not come out the way it suppose too... whahahaha~~!!!
Well. wat did i do during the weekends?
You would never have guessed!!! I went SHOPPING!! Muahaha... YA! I ACTUALLY WENT SHOPPING... Muahhaaa... i'm more girl than i actually realise.. But nvm..
I bought t-shirts and jeans.. and i need to go on other trip again since i'm somehow clearing my closet.. So ya... But i need MONEY!! This is so unfair!!
But nevermind.. I shall wait till the exams are over and done with.. And then i shall somehow think how i shall get the needed money to spend here.. hmzzzzz....
Anywayz, the uncool part is that the comp might hang and an entire long entry would vanish in an instant... WOOSSH!! and its gone.. whahahaa... so ya.. what did i wanna blog abt again??
Time check: 215am
Oh ya.. i need to list certain things down so that i wouldnt forget them.. since i keep reminding people of their stuff.. later i forgot all abt my chores.. LOL~!!
Things i need to do by the end of Monday:
1)Hand in LCOMM assignment w/o having to collide into the tutor
2)Settle my MC
3)See a certain lecturer
4)Call evaluators
5)Do my programme sheet soon
6)Prepare my Monologue
7)Do & Prepare for the Area Humourous Speech and Evaluation Contest
8)Do & Prepare a possible speech i might be doing this Fri
9)Do a draft of the Contract Assignment ASAP!!
Hmmm... what else are there?? Oh ya...
10)Study for upcoming exams
11)Try to stay sane in the process
Things i need to do over next period of 3-6mths?
12)Try to loose weight *Yes yes.. I know.. I'll try to do it this time round.. Or Deena will kill me.. Coz, 'Project NPF' will never be executed*
13)I need to buy clothes
14)Need money to do point 13
15)To be able to do all the abovementioned w/o neglecting my friends and my mom.
Yess yess.. I think that's about it... Hehehe.. 15points only.. I think can lah ah.. :P
So ya.. what was i suppose to blog today?? Actually i've typed a freaking long entry yesterday when the stupid comp decided to hang.. Yes! IT HANGED! sheesh.. Waste my time.. But let me try to recall what did i write or type or whatever...
Oh ya.. Just wanna ask... Have you ever felt alone when in real you're surrounded by people you know? Why is it that everything seems so perfect when you're around friends and seemed the total opposite the moment you space out? Why is it that all the wrong things that one could ever imagine fall on you the moment you're alone?
Why is it that nothing seems rite when you're walking alone? To the extent that you don't even realise that your friend is actually calling you.. Coz, it sound so distant... So far away.. As if it was brought along by the passing wind... And when you actually realise that someone is actually calling you... You also realised that your cheeks are wet...
Tralalala.. and seriously.. I think i need to sleep.. YAWNZ YAWNZ!!!
Saturday, September 11, 2004
What exactly is failure?
Not having the capabality needed to complete a task? Not having the standards that you expect of yourself? Being the disappointment to yourself and others?
So once again i ask... what exactly is failure?
The inability to function or perform satisfactorily.
So if you are a disappoinment to yourself... Does it mean that you're a disappointment to others as well?? Are the standards you set for yourself equivalent to standards others would set for you??
Or maybe you feel like that just because you expect more from yourself?? But why do we set such high standards for ourselves?? Or maybe it varies from an individual to the next??
Hmmm... Nvm
Friday, September 10, 2004
Thursday, September 09, 2004
THAT'S IT... I'M SO PISSED!!! I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY I TAKE THIS KINDA SHIT FROM PEOPLE...
How many of you believe me if i told you that my comp is infected with virus and it restarts itself every 5-10mins the day before and today... it hangs itself every 5-10mins?? Well... OBVIOUSLY certain parties think i am creating the story up...
TELL ME WHY ON EARTH WOULD I CREATE SUCH A STORY?? FOR FUN PEACE AND LAUGHTER??? JUST TO ENTERTAIN MYSELF?? YOU THINK I WAT?? TOOO DAMN FREAKING FREE ISSIT??
Why on earth would I do that when i cant do my tutorial... cant meet my deadlines.... cant do anything... and feel totally helpless when that is one thing that i hate feeling... HELPLESSNESS... Sheesshhh...
Seriously, I'm not dumb! I know when you don't believe what i say. I know the reasons for the questions you ask. I know when you doubt me. I know when you don't really have faith in me.
You told me to pass it to you this morning. I said ok.... but is it my fault when i cant do it coz i have tutorials to attend?!?! is it my fault that my timetable is like that?? Oh wait.. I forgot.. you think that i make that up to rite?? Maybe i should just e-mail my timetable to you?? Would that please you?? Would that be rite?? Would that be THE ONLY WAY FOR YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M HAVING CLASS AND ACTUALLY BELIEVE ME??
This is turning out to be WORST than a lifetime imprisonment.... Its ending soon.. but that last bit... I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!
I was told by someone else... I was asked by that particular someone... Abt the thing i'm suppose to pass to you... He told me that you need it urgently... You're worried abt it... DO YOU THINK I'M DUMB? I DON'T KNOW ITS IMPORTANCE? Oh wait... i forgot.. i'm too young for you too actually trust rite?? For you to acutally believe that i'll do it?? Or maybe you just think that i'm just plain incapable??
Messaged me later online... A message filled with exclamation marks... abt me not submitting the thing... Thank God it was my mom that was online... And she told you what actually is wrong... then you believe?? Then you know that i wasn't making up stories??
Oh ya.. Received a phonecall.. On the verge of being questioned and screamed at... When i shut her off by simply saying that i've sent it 7hours ago... So now its my fault too that your mailbox is full and you cant receive mails??
Monday, September 06, 2004
Having a MSN conversation with my most hated person!! the most irritating!! The one and only....
I shall not mention names here...
Hmmmzzzz.... SHOOOO!!!!
wahahahahaha...
How nice... Talking to the most irritating person god could ever create and talking about the most boring subject ever discussing about something that i already made up my mind on and having a pointless argument with me...
He can dream on if he thinks of having things his way...
Coz, my cousins left yesterday.... And i can't hear screamings of any sort or talking at the top of the voice.
Just peace.
Quiet.
Silence.
All i heard was the birds chirpping, the fan, the cat snoring and the constant beep on my MSN.. Muahahahaha...
Its not that i hate my cousins. I love them to bits. Enjoy my time with them. But i've been the only child for the past 17 years of my life. And obviously, i spend most of my time alone and none of my friends talk at the top of their voice or constantly talk. So ya, at times i'm not used for not having peace for a long period of time. That's all.
And to have them do that while i'm trying to do my work is worst!!! Argh!! Sheesh.. Hinting me to off the light which i ignored. And having my grandmother siding them does not help at all... I mean its like she knows i had a test on the stupid saturday and i was trying to study as well as do my work... she can happily ask me to off the light just because my cousins are here.
I mean... HELLO!!! Life has to go on you know...
And they were hinting to me that they're sleepy by giving me BIG OBVIOUS YAWNS and talking abt if somebody were to do that at the hostel, they would start quarrelling. Its not like they told me that they were going to materialise at 230am. If i knew that, i wouldnt be doing my work then would i???
And what irritates me the most was that i was using my DISCMAN at vol.7 and i could hear their conversations about their relationships and friends and my grandmother asking me to off the light... 230am!! my discman is playing at VOL.7!! and i can hear conversations perfectly well!!!
Hmmmm... I think me being the only child is turning me into an inconsiderate bitch... muahahaha... Haiz... I mean its not my fault that i DONT HAVE HOLS AND MY EXAMS ARE AROUND THE CORNER AND I HAVE ASSIGNMENTS TO COMPLETE, DEADLINES TO MEET!! AND THAT MY COUSINS AND I ARE LIVING IN 2 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES DOING 2 DIFFERENT THINGS HAVING DIFFERENT SITUATIONS TO FACE!!!!
Anywayz, enough of me complaining... wahahhahaa....
Come in 30mins late to hand in a stupid assignment... class work don't wanna hand in late.. Must wait until assignment then hand in late rite??? Clever..... Sooo Clever....
Now i'm in school.. And you know wat?? I don't have contract later... Nice rite?? Sheesh... come to school only to hand in an assignment... and better still lcan't even come early...
GRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
Nvm nvm nvm nvm nvm nvm....
Friday, September 03, 2004
I'mmmm Bbbbaaacccckkkk!!! again...
Oh ya... did you know?
I've been going on a movie spree!!! weeeheee..
only problem is that.. none of the movies are of my choice...
i shall continue later.. i have one idiot beside me like a loud hailer... going on and on abt something that goes in my right ear and out the othe/r8816.. (Now she's babbling aimlessly AGAIN)
and the other that wants to go and eat. SO ya.. brb.. After mugging for tmr's acocunts test..
I'm so studious.. *Trying to believe it*
Back in school.. doing the same old thing.. trlalalala...
and i'm dying OOOOO dying OOO dying... tralalallaa....
Oh ya.. Met my couz, Omar, the other day... Had a long chat with him in the bus... in the bus you know.. how long can a chat be in the bus rite?? But anywayz, he missed 3 bus stops thanks to me...
Talking about wat he would do after O levels... Haiz.. Poor guy.. he's so confused and the mom doesn't even care... he doesn't talk to me when he meets me at my relative's house coz he's afraid that his sis would scold.. And the only time he talks to me is when we happen to bump into each other...
And his mom happily allows him to go America next yr.. Sheesh... There goes another cousin of mine.. Just because he is American citizen doesnt mean he can happily go there... And the mom still can say that you wanna go next yr also can... go go.. Isnt it like shooing him away??
Tsk tsk tsk tsk... Idiots... And i'm hoping to bump into him again... Fancy having a cousing that you're "close" with and you dont even have his hp number...
Truly amazing, Ain't it???
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
And guess wat... I got scolding from the tutor not bcoz i didnt do my work. But its for something that is totally not related to the subject... And that is...
JENG JENG JENG..
My...
ASSERTIVENESS
Muahahhahaha... At that point of time i didnt know whether or not to smile.. grin or laugh.. whahahha... It was bad.. LOL!!
She said something which i'm having difficulties remembering at the moment due to valid reasons. Anywayz, she was saying something about me having problems with my assertiveness which leads to me not being a good leader because of it.. So ya.. heheheeee...
and also something about having control over things and that i have to exercise the power that is given to me at certain point of time.. Muahahahhaa...
So ya..
Basically, i'm a lenient class rep...
Heeeee... No wonder my class just LOVES me... *Trying to console myself* lol.. Rite...
So ya..
Basically, thats all for now...
tralallalala :P